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LGBTQIA+ | OT7 | ~First comes love, then comes marriage~
- Thread starter Kater
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Saying that anyone who is more into "straight acting" guys is promoting "hyper masculinity" and see's femininity as dangerous is just total bullshit.
What is wrong with liking masculinity to a degree? I'm not attracted to women so it makes sense that I don't find feminine traits attractive and hence why I don't find them attractive in men. As gay men, we like men. That's the entire fucking point. straight women are attracted to masculine men, so why aren't they being held to the same standard? why are we so special and deserve criticism for simply having a preference?
I hate gender roles and views of "masculinity" as much as the next person, it doesn't mean that I'm not allowed to have preferences.
There are probably people who do take this to the extreme and act like Femininity should be avoided at all costs, but I very much doubt they are the majority. The gay community has problems but whoever made that rant sounds like they were forcing their own problems on to the rest of the community as well, they are blowing it completely out of proportion.
What is wrong with liking masculinity to a degree? I'm not attracted to women so it makes sense that I don't find feminine traits attractive and hence why I don't find them attractive in men. As gay men, we like men. That's the entire fucking point. straight women are attracted to masculine men, so why aren't they being held to the same standard? why are we so special and deserve criticism for simply having a preference?
I hate gender roles and views of "masculinity" as much as the next person, it doesn't mean that I'm not allowed to have preferences.
There are probably people who do take this to the extreme and act like Femininity should be avoided at all costs, but I very much doubt they are the majority. The gay community has problems but whoever made that rant sounds like they were forcing their own problems on to the rest of the community as well, they are blowing it completely out of proportion.
Leona Lewis
Banned
Sorry, no.
"Looking for friends/chat - NO LATINOS!!!" is one thing, but there's nothing racist about having an exclusive sexual preference/attraction to a particular ethnicity.
Oh, the age we live in~
Hyperbole, exaggeration and sarcasm in my post though.
And I'm not sure about that...
But mostly this:
Even 2D people can be pretty messy.
Also yeah it sucks to be considered the bottom of the barrel in terms of dating when you are black :/
Dead Prince
Banned
the same stuff. just different season.
Haha
Well, my date went fine the other day but he's been pretty quiet since, so I guess he's no too interested. So I still need a boyfriend
Just to add to the "same stuff different season"
VICTORsaurio
Member
DOWN
Banned
The tweets and most people in here aren't examining social conditioning at all. The ones on gays in general attempted explanation, but the race rant wasn't insightful in the least.
The tweets list off symptoms of social conditioning without one mention of the causes for anyone to understand or counter the issue better. Sarcastic posts here are doing the same thing, biting at the symptom without saying a word about how they believe those symptoms they hate came to exist, how they can be counteracted in society, and how an individual can evolve their understanding of the issues. Talking in brief sarcasm about how some people use racist expressions online doesn't explain your position and thoughts to people who have subconscious racial preferences of their own brought on by that conditioning (and perhaps concrete developed inclinations). Hence the confusion over the rant and resulting "preferences are fine" responses as a defense to what comes off as a lack of understanding all around. If you want people to know you feel their preferences are brought on by conditioning and that you feel they could expand those preferences, give that insight rather than having it sound like you just gave an unexplained hit and run to match the tweets of a similar nature.
The tweets list off symptoms of social conditioning without one mention of the causes for anyone to understand or counter the issue better. Sarcastic posts here are doing the same thing, biting at the symptom without saying a word about how they believe those symptoms they hate came to exist, how they can be counteracted in society, and how an individual can evolve their understanding of the issues. Talking in brief sarcasm about how some people use racist expressions online doesn't explain your position and thoughts to people who have subconscious racial preferences of their own brought on by that conditioning (and perhaps concrete developed inclinations). Hence the confusion over the rant and resulting "preferences are fine" responses as a defense to what comes off as a lack of understanding all around. If you want people to know you feel their preferences are brought on by conditioning and that you feel they could expand those preferences, give that insight rather than having it sound like you just gave an unexplained hit and run to match the tweets of a similar nature.
As it is boring painting everyone with the same brush cause they disagree with part of the issue despite still being on the same side of the court. Just cause you have discussed it enough times it doesn't mean everyone else has if anything you should know better how to handle the situation instead of passive aggressively responding to the posts that you dont agree with.
eviscerate ha!
this was disappointing
i think the point being made is that it seems very common, especially on places on grindr, to find people signpost things like "not into camp"//"no queens"//"masc only" etc etc. and that people prefer "straight acting" people, whatever that means, as just another way to not be feminine. it's just another factor of the patriarchy that ostracises men who doesn't conform to the usual gender roles that you say you hate, ie if you don't act "masculine" then you are seen as lesser, or feminine.
I bet all the models that are posted here and you find attractive all have some interest in the fashion industry which by this standard you would consider a "feminine" trait.
Soulscribe
Member
So out of curiosity, how do you examine/explain it?
Sorry for not feeding your drama hunger. I'm tired of arguing like beasts and I'm trying to keep things more civilized and hopefully without big insults thrown around.
I wonder how long that will last.
how funny considering a month ago you would've just spammed your natalizard gifs instead
how funny considering a month ago you would've just spammed your natalizard gifs instead
You really want a reaction from me don't you? Good luck.
So your solution to 'arguing like beasts', and keeping things 'civilized' is to just sweep things under the rug and label it as people being overly sensitive/eager to take offense?
For what it's worth, I didn't think my initial post was passive aggressive at all, I think I was pretty straight forward in calling your post and posting habits out as being boring.
Here's the way I see it: if you've never dated an Asian/black/Latino guy, that's okay. I myself have only dated a Latino guy and Arab girl
you're not racist for never having dated someone of x/y/z race. Racism comes in when someone says "no blacks" and gross shit like that. Sure, you may not have dated any black people yet, but black people, like gay folks, are not a monolithic figure, and come in all colors and shapes and sizes, and closing yourself off to that does make you racist, no matter how inconsequential it may seem to you personally.(This is a colloquial 'you', not directed at anyone in particular haha)
Blood Diamonds
Banned
honestly yeah
trust me there's hot white guys but other times people drool and offer their virginity to any average looking dude that's white because he's white
Escape Goat
Member
So your solution to 'arguing like beasts', and keeping things 'civilized' is to just sweep things under the rug and label it as people being overly sensitive/eager to take offense?
For what it's worth, I didn't think my initial post was passive aggressive at all, I think I was pretty straight forward in calling your post and posting habits out as being boring.
Here's the way I see it: if you've never dated an Asian/black/Latino guy, that's okay. I myself have only dated a Latino guy and Arab girl
(This is a colloquial 'you', not directed at anyone in particular haha)
It's not that but it is tiresome when things delve into passive aggressive posts (directly or indirectly) or direct insults over simply disagreeing over something. If my post are boring for you, you can easily skip them or add me to the ignore list since I'm not adding anything to you and for what it seems we never get along and overall is just not fine to continue going at it each side when we both know we wont agree with each other. Sometimes its better to stop things before getting heated over something that isn't black or white.
I do feel that people are overreacting at times cause sometimes its not about the people who say "no blacks, no asian, etc" but people who simply have a preference towards some type of people which are still open to dating out of their preferences are called racist for simply having some preference that in the end doesn't change the fact that they are open to dating out of their ideal person. Im not saying to hate or dislike X or Y individuals but at the same time people can be too much when handling the situation making it a white and black situation instead of looking at things from different perspectives besides their own.
I have a confession to make, I have only dated white guys. The hispanic guys I tried to go out with paid me dust, and still do, lol.
Even one hispanic guy said to me after I told him I was Mexican, that he hated the way Mexicans talk, and how we speak our Spanish. I thought to myself that it was such a random thing to say, and a bit silly, but okay. So I dunno. The dynamics of race and ethnicity in the US are interesting and complicated.
But by dating white guys I'm promoting diversity because I'm brown. o/ Yay diversity!
Right guys?
What did you guys do? You were supposed to eat hamburgers if my memory is right?
Yup. I saw him recently and I haven't seen him now. But he's straight... At least I think he is. Such a bummer.
Even one hispanic guy said to me after I told him I was Mexican, that he hated the way Mexicans talk, and how we speak our Spanish. I thought to myself that it was such a random thing to say, and a bit silly, but okay. So I dunno. The dynamics of race and ethnicity in the US are interesting and complicated.
But by dating white guys I'm promoting diversity because I'm brown. o/ Yay diversity!
Right guys?
What did you guys do? You were supposed to eat hamburgers if my memory is right?
VENEZUELAN POWER!!!!!
Yup. I saw him recently and I haven't seen him now. But he's straight... At least I think he is. Such a bummer.
Yes adopt me daddy
Soulscribe
Member
Here's the way I see it: if you've never dated an Asian/black/Latino guy, that's okay. I myself have only dated a Latino guy and Arab girl
(This is a colloquial 'you', not directed at anyone in particular haha)
Agreed. There's also the added layer of publicizing your "preferences" to the world in the first place, which just shows a lack of consciousness. Obviously this person has no reaction to the idea of telling entire groups of people (particularly groups that have a history of being shunned across a variety of categories) that they aren't desired. At the very worst it's overt racism, at best it's just really socially obtuse and careless.
What I find a bit absurd is when someone says everyone that talks Spanish is automatically Mexicans. To some point it shows the ignorance some people have towards different nationalities by simply linking the language to just one place. I usually laugh when someone calls me Mexican and correct them but it is a bit weird that still in 2015 people still commit that instead of just asking where you are from instead of automatically casing people into a different nationality.
Also it is silly to simply dislike someone by the way they talk since afterall for most of the part it comes from getting used to the accents and the uniue words of each place. It is a complicated thing cause even within the same communities we see how they pit each other over trivialities.
Escape Goat
Member
D
Deleted member 465307
Unconfirmed Member
I have a question that I've come across in a few psychology studies that I've participated in at my university:
Rating on a scale of Strongly Disagree, Somewhat Disagree, Neutral, Somewhat Agree, and Strongly Agree: People of different racial backgrounds can look alike.
There's no right answer, of course. I imagine a few of us in here have different answers.
My thinking is along these lines. I wrote out a post earlier this morning but deleted it because I was afraid people might see it as being critical of people in here, which wasn't my intention.
These days, in the majority of cases, I don't really see racism as something personally chosen or deliberate, and thus only loosely an individual trait. I mean, being a racist is almost never taken to be a positive thing, so why would anyone choose that? Instead, I see racism as an environmental and cultural factor that subconsciously lives in people's heads due to social conditioning, like DOWN said. For example, the psychology studies that have shown people more readily link people of color with negative descriptors. Most people don't choose to do this on a conscious level, yet the studies show that many minds are more ready to think this way. It's not the personal fault of anyone, but I do think it is our personal responsibility to be introspective and examine our behaviors and preferences that we assume are inherent (this applies to all things, not just race and sexual attraction).
Rating on a scale of Strongly Disagree, Somewhat Disagree, Neutral, Somewhat Agree, and Strongly Agree: People of different racial backgrounds can look alike.
There's no right answer, of course. I imagine a few of us in here have different answers.
My thinking is along these lines. I wrote out a post earlier this morning but deleted it because I was afraid people might see it as being critical of people in here, which wasn't my intention.
These days, in the majority of cases, I don't really see racism as something personally chosen or deliberate, and thus only loosely an individual trait. I mean, being a racist is almost never taken to be a positive thing, so why would anyone choose that? Instead, I see racism as an environmental and cultural factor that subconsciously lives in people's heads due to social conditioning, like DOWN said. For example, the psychology studies that have shown people more readily link people of color with negative descriptors. Most people don't choose to do this on a conscious level, yet the studies show that many minds are more ready to think this way. It's not the personal fault of anyone, but I do think it is our personal responsibility to be introspective and examine our behaviors and preferences that we assume are inherent (this applies to all things, not just race and sexual attraction).
Throughout a lot of my life I've been mistaken for various kinds of Asian, usually Filipino. As far as I know I don't have anything in me except for Mexican and Bolivian, but who knows :0 a handful of other guys in my family have what could be described as some stereotypically Asian features too.
Also lmao I just remembered how my Arab girlfriend and I have been mistaken for brother and sister at LEAST 4 times in the past two months hahahaha. Makes shit awkwardddddd
Also lmao I just remembered how my Arab girlfriend and I have been mistaken for brother and sister at LEAST 4 times in the past two months hahahaha. Makes shit awkwardddddd
Soulscribe
Member
I'm Arabic and mistaken for Mexican all the time. It's Texas so makes sense, though I've had a lot of people start engaging me in Spanish, which is fun even though my Spanish sounds like Christopher Walken casting a spell.
I don't know where you live but I've never seen this happen, like ever.
umop_3pisdn
Member
I'm like one or two steps away from being albino.
D
Deleted member 465307
Unconfirmed Member
If anyone would be into an unclothed (but mostly concealed) Chris Hemsworth thrashing about in a pool of water, here's a deleted scene from Age of Ultron: https://youtu.be/71lgAtZiCu4
I suppose I should give a spoiler warning, but I think the only thing it reveals is some info on what the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe has been building to anyway. I haven't seen the movie yet and nothing else about the scene made sense to me.
I suppose I should give a spoiler warning, but I think the only thing it reveals is some info on what the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe has been building to anyway. I haven't seen the movie yet and nothing else about the scene made sense to me.
it's a united states thing
That sounds terribly awkward haha
I'd sink into the ground or at least try my hardest to do so.
Also, that reminds me of that one tumblr with guy couples that look like twins noooo D:
DOWN
Banned
Okay, my guy is coming to the ceviche AHS party so let's laugh at how awkward I already feel
I'll post on it later tonight
Monocle
Member
The hotness of twins without the creepiness of incest. Win-win!
Barrylocke
Member
Remind me to ask my sister on her experiences with this question, as she's a senior in High School now and some things may have changed. I know she was part of Cabaret as a play and that definitely has some LGBTness. (Then some people got antsy and the next big play was Little Orphan Annie, lol).
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