So it's a bad way of stating preferences and just that?
Using "just
that" (which I don't agree with and didn't say) in paragraph one of post one is premature so let's continue first
But don't you think that most of this would carry on to their more serious dating profile, searching for their soulmate? I just don't see how someone with a profile "no blacks plz" oon grindr, hornet, whatever, would want to date a black guy in a more serious platform like eHarmony or something like that.
Firstly, I have been open and clear that I've never used any sites for dating or hooking up, so I am only going by what I gather of them from this community and hope others can elaborate with examples. I think hookup apps get brought up and described more here, particularly during body and race discussions we've had in the past, and thus it seems to me that overt use of that crude presentation of one's racial attractions is most common to the superficial hookup apps rather than dating profiles.
I think the racial selection (feel free to offer alternative terminology), but not the related prevalence of language at the forefront of interactions found in hookup apps, does carry on to dating sites (hence me referencing the statistics from OKCupid, which were statistics showing race relating to their dating site). To my knowledge, dating sites generally don't provide tools for race based filtering (the loophole for this being that there's sites like ChristianMingle.com which I understand is quite predominantly white Christians, or sites like BlackPeopleMeet.com which has a black user base).
So like Grindr, your options if you feel comfortable expressing which races you consider attractive in general are to state it in your profile, or sort individually through the messages you receive and choose to explain, engage with, ignore, or reject others through that channel. From what I gather, people tend to be less likely to go listing off physical features they want in a partner in any form on a serious dating profile because they are focused on their own appeals, interests, and care far more for making a good impression about their personality and presentation (making them more likely to talk in ways they might in a professional or offline environment, which means concealing and being sensitive to blunt statements or statements on physical feature attractions).
I think you are right that it is unlikely a "no blacks" user on hookup apps would be more open about connecting with black people on a dating profile. To be clearer, what I mean is that on a dating site those same people with "no blacks" likely feel unable to put that kind of statement on a serious profile that goes beyond their superficial interests, and thus are going to be contacted by people that they may have warded off on a hookup app with profile mentions of race. So those who consider attraction to someone of a particular race rare, presumably based on the physical features that correlate with race, would be more likely to see the potential physical attractions of that race that they do happen to find attractive when browsing contacts on a dating profile, since they are not able to crudely prevent messaging from a whole race as they would attempt to do on a less serious app or site for purely sexual encounters.
I would say the data is inconclusive. We've only looked at stats from OkCupid (if I'm not mistaken) and that's enough data to conclude that gays are less racist than straight men.
I would make the case that straight men are more open minded than gay men when it comes to dating partners.
Maybe you can explain this one to me. I don't know why that data is inconclusive in your opinion, I don't know what comparable data on online dating we have, and I didn't specify men only in the comparison regarding online dating as a whole. But if you want to stay specific to gay men vs straight men, rather than just gay dating vs straight dating, and "would make the case that straight men are more open minded than gay men when it comes to dating partners," I urge you to go ahead and make that case. I'd love to hear your theory and maybe you have stats or data on that, as I admit I find actual data like what OK Cupid has provided to be valuable for the time being, but maybe your explanation of why you dismissed it will have me reconsider.
I think you're just referring to racial preferences as "preferences" but I'm not buying it.
The whole discussion is on race so yeah, I may be going all over the place in terminology and don't mean for it to be offensively nuanced. Preferences in the context, I would gather is the same race related preferences referred to in general in the posts and discussion. You can let me know if that makes sense or no. I don't understand what you are not buying, however.
And maybe now is a good spot to ask, since significant portions of the population express attraction toward either their race, specific other races, or a combination thereof, at what point do you call someone a racist? Are those in this thread who said they find X race(s) attractive most often, racists? Are the majority of OK Cupid users what you would say are racists? Or is there a different case where that term is appropriate in your opinion? My understanding of 'implicit bias' from Harvard and co. is that people generally do distinguish between consciously endorsed stereotypes and ideas, versus those that are present without conscious forming and deciding upon the ideas. Thus distinguishing between a person saying they tend to find X race(s) attractive most often and someone they observer would call a racist.
I'm maybe a little lost at what you were going for with the links in relation to my post. I talked about conditioning being a significant factor even before this post.
I also said that stating "just a preference" type responses seems like an attempt to end the critical examination and discussion of conditioning and the related factors in attraction. I pondered ways to avoid prompting that kind of response to hopefully create ongoing discussion instead.
Essentially, there is racism, and those people are racist. This is an issue in the LGBT community. To be able to be oblivious about this issue speaks so much of the privilege that white gay men enjoy. It speaks a lot about a system - a status-quo that they do not wish to challenge simply because it benefits them the most.
Perhaps me and some others have a misunderstanding when you would term someone a racist. By your description, wouldn't that mean those in LettersGAF who have said they tend to be attracted to X race(s), are racists? As well as most people encountered who have discussed what races they've dated and tend to be attracted to? I haven't heard the term racist applied that broadly before and it seems others in the thread have not experienced it applied that way either. Perhaps it is unfamiliarity on our part or perhaps there is distinction in terminology, but I can't say I understand now.
While I certainly don't get around to every post, I don't think any group or individual denied or was obliviously excused in this thread from the idea of the existence of racism or that it is an issue in the LGBT+ community, whether in this most recent discussion or in prior ones since I've entered the threads.
