• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

LGBTQIA+ | OT7 | ~First comes love, then comes marriage~

Status
Not open for further replies.

Rikudo

Banned
Your gender? Male
Your sexual orientation? Gay
Where Are You From? Heidelberg, South Africa (ugh)
Where Do You Live? Heidelberg, South Africa (ugh)
How Old Are you? 25
Favorite Type of Music? Don't really have a favorite tbh, I'll listen to anything good.
Profession or Career interest? Neet ;) but trying to figure out what to study to get outta here and get to any 1st world country.
Favorite video game(s)? Final Fantasy 8 , Silent hill 2. The good stuff y'know. Planescape: Torment soon too
What are your hobbies (other than gaming)? Reading lotsa books. movies ,etc.
 

Kevyt

Member
Your gender? Male
Your sexual orientation? Gay
Where Are You From? Heidelberg, South Africa (ugh)
Where Do You Live? Heidelberg, South Africa (ugh)
How Old Are you? 25
Favorite Type of Music? Don't really have a favorite tbh, I'll listen to anything good.
Profession or Career interest? Neet ;) but trying to figure out what to study to get outta here and get to any 1st world country.
Favorite video game(s)? Final Fantasy 8 , Silent hill 2. The good stuff y'know. Planescape: Torment soon too
What are your hobbies (other than gaming)? Reading lotsa books. movies ,etc.

Welcome to the thread! :3
 

VegiHam

Member
I've seen Jessica Jones; and I thought all three major LGBT characters felt pretty nuanced by the end. I'm not a lesbian though so YMMV.
 

Kater

Banned
I don't understand the hype about eye colours. I am missing out, aren't I. ._.

Your gender? Male
Your sexual orientation? Gay
Where Are You From? Heidelberg, South Africa (ugh)
Where Do You Live? Heidelberg, South Africa (ugh)
How Old Are you? 25
Favorite Type of Music? Don't really have a favorite tbh, I'll listen to anything good.
Profession or Career interest? Neet ;) but trying to figure out what to study to get outta here and get to any 1st world country.
Favorite video game(s)? Final Fantasy 8 , Silent hill 2. The good stuff y'know. Planescape: Torment soon too
What are your hobbies (other than gaming)? Reading lotsa books. movies ,etc.
Heya, welcome on board! :3
 

Joeys_Rattata

Neo Member
Hi Joey! Welcome back, I remember you. Last time you posted about going on a date with a guy, I think. How did it go?

Unless I'm misremembering then nvm... D:

You're remembering right! Went on a couple dates with him, but we didn't really connect romantically so we stopped seeing each other.

Everytime I catch a glimpse of Fresh Prince I just go "...well this isn't very funny?" and I'm apparently the only person in the world who thinks so.

Nah, I agree with you.
 

Bladenic

Member
Jessica Jones is pretty good so far on episode 8, though the action scenes are probably the weakest aspect. That and some of the dialogue.

I love Krysten Ritter though. I guess I'll to watch Daredevil again after this. JJ has way more interesting cast to me IMO.
 
But isn't that your fetish though?

ba2470cb5dd56d8784dd4a097dbb0d32.gif
 
D

Deleted member 465307

Unconfirmed Member
Is anyone planning on seeing Carol? I hadn't heard of this movie prior to release, but it seems like it's doing quite well critically. I admit that sometimes I have a hard time connecting with lesbian romances (is this just me?), but I'm interested in this because of its reception. Here's a trailer.
 
D

Deleted member 465307

Unconfirmed Member
I'd say I actually find it harder to care about heterosexual romances than any sort of gay romance, even though I've participated in the former and am physically incapable of the m/m variety of the latter. I think the last time I really got into a straight ship was John and Aeryn on Farscape in...2003. lul. It isn't even a quality-of-writing thing for me, as gay romances are surely just as cliched as your average straight coupling in Hollywood or on television, most of the time. A large part of it is just an abundance or lack thereof of one of the other, I'd imagine. That, or maybe I'm just bad at being bisexual.

I doubt it's just you, though. It makes perfect sense that the farther something is from your own personal experience or capacity the more difficult it is to connect to it in a visceral sense. That's something that alternate perspectives in fiction are there to rectify, I suppose.

Hmm. Your post made me think about it and realize that I've never really given lesbian romances much of a chance (partly because I don't have much initial interest). I suppose I'm generally not particularly interested in heterosexual romances either, but it's kind of hard to choose when you encounter one in media. Maybe I'll give Carol a shot and see how it goes.
 
Bound and Heavenly Creatures are two of my favourite movies and I recommend these as good movies with an f/f relationship between the lead characters.

I think that talking about Bound once made a guy I swapped contact info with think 'uh oh this was all a misunderstanding he is a straight' as he logged off MSN right after I said it was a good movie about lesbians. I didn't say they were hot or anything
(they are)
so it is less explainable than as bi erasure. A mystery for the ages...
 

Golnei

Member
im absolutely over straight romances in most tv shows/movies. they're boring.

Boring and arbitrary, in most cases - it's hard to care at all about them when they're not only all but omnipresent, but usually fail to clear the bar of even being well-executed, let alone interesting or necessary.

But how will the audience relate to the characters? (JK)

By making sure everyone involved is as white, cis, male (and acceptably masculine) as possible, according to Roland Emmerich. That seems to have worked out well enough.
 
the thing about gay romances is that most of them have to end on a tragedy. Life is Strange ended up doing this too smh but it's still an amazing game.

Anyway, I've been playing Etrian Odyssey Untold lately and it's god damn addictive. The female character design will forever be a piece of shit and will never not make me cringe, but the gameplay part of it is damn good.

edit: also I remember I read Mockingjay and it pissed me off. Dumb book.
 

Razmos

Member
Mockingjay was a good book, until the ending, which I thought was pretty badly written and hard to follow. I pretty much just went to see the film to see if the different medium could salvage the ending, and thankfully it did.
 
D

Deleted member 465307

Unconfirmed Member
Mockingjay was a good book, until the ending, which I thought was pretty badly written and hard to follow. I pretty much just went to see the film to see if the different medium could salvage the ending, and thankfully it did.

So, you're saying Peeta and Gale now end up together or...?
 
Mockingjay was a good book, until the ending, which I thought was pretty badly written and hard to follow. I pretty much just went to see the film to see if the different medium could salvage the ending, and thankfully it did.
The book turns into a confusing mess after a certain event that feels like it's trying to be this higher-than-life psychological look into things or whatever. The book is filled with a bunch of dumb unnecessary deaths that did nothing to advance the plot. I wouldn't know about the Mockingjay movies though, do they change a lot of things?
 

Jacqli

Member
Gaf, I think I need a piece of advice and this thread seems the most plausible one. I know that the non-written norm usually says "ask a friend!" but… I can't and now I will be explaining why (although a friend of mine browses neogaf, so Hi! just in case).

First of all:
Your gender? Female
Your sexual orientation? This the problem that I want to discuss
Where Are You From? Spain
Where Do You Live? Madrid
How Old Are you? 24
Favorite Type of Music? Electronic music
Profession or Career interest? Translation but… I dunno anymore.
Favorite video game(s)? Plenty, although Super Metroid is always the first game that comes to my mind
What are your hobbies (other than gaming)? The common stuff! Really, I like lots of activities.

So for two-three years, my mind has been a mess. I broke up with my ex-boyfriend around that date because, to be honest, I was not interested in him any longer. I could not bring myself to be sexually attracted (and he didn't change a bit) and I was tired of other things unrelated to my current issue. In other words: I was relieved (even though he is a good guy).
After that, I decided to focus solely on my degree, English Level exam, and the pair of languages that as to this day I still learn (which consume a lot of time). I was doing fine so far with my head always busy.

But said degree is coming to an end soon and, do not know why, lately I cannot do anything but think of my love life (or lack of thereof) because (I believe) I like women: I have lost interest (in general) in men and het romances found in fiction works, I mostly read lesbian novels or yuri (apart from Sci-fi novels!), and the list goes on and on. The problem is though, that I am at loss: on one hand I think it would be easier to find the right girl if I just admit that I am attracted to them, but I am scared and I do not think I would be taken seriously due to my last relationship. On the other hand, being so closeted is just making me feel… sad and I am about to give up completely on finding a suitable partner.

I thought of signing up for one of those websites that let you get in contact with other people of the same sexual orientation (the ones that are popular in my country) because I am not the extrovert type, but there is something always holding me back (shyness?) and I have never done something like this. Also, I find immensely hard to find lesbian or bi girls in my daily life (I haven't got Facebook or Twitter).

What should I do? :(

Sorry to bother you with these (mostly) self-esteem and confidence problems, I found really hard to write this post and click on the submit reply button. Thank you gaffers in any case!
 

mantidor

Member
the thing about gay romances is that most of them have to end on a tragedy. Life is Strange ended up doing this too smh but it's still an amazing game.

It seems to me tragic relationships overall have just more impact and are used more often because of that, think Romeo and Juliet.
 
Gaf, I think I need a piece of advice and this thread seems the most plausible one. I know that the non-written norm usually says "ask a friend!" but… I can't and now I will be explaining why (although a friend of mine browses neogaf, so Hi! just in case).

First of all:
Your gender? Female
Your sexual orientation? This the problem that I want to discuss
Where Are You From? Spain
Where Do You Live? Madrid
How Old Are you? 24
Favorite Type of Music? Electronic music
Profession or Career interest? Translation but… I dunno anymore.
Favorite video game(s)? Plenty, although Super Metroid is always the first game that comes to my mind
What are your hobbies (other than gaming)? The common stuff! Really, I like lots of activities.

So for two-three years, my mind has been a mess. I broke up with my ex-boyfriend around that date because, to be honest, I was not interested in him any longer. I could not bring myself to be sexually attracted (and he didn't change a bit) and I was tired of other things unrelated to my current issue. In other words: I was relieved (even though he is a good guy).
After that, I decided to focus solely on my degree, English Level exam, and the pair of languages that as to this day I still learn (which consume a lot of time). I was doing fine so far with my head always busy.

But said degree is coming to an end soon and, do not know why, lately I cannot do anything but think of my love life (or lack of thereof) because (I believe) I like women: I have lost interest (in general) in men and het romances found in fiction works, I mostly read lesbian novels or yuri (apart from Sci-fi novels!), and the list goes on and on. The problem is though, that I am at loss: on one hand I think it would be easier to find the right girl if I just admit that I am attracted to them, but I am scared and I do not think I would be taken seriously due to my last relationship. On the other hand, being so closeted is just making me feel… sad and I am about to give up completely on finding a suitable partner.

I thought of signing up for one of those websites that let you get in contact with other people of the same sexual orientation (the ones that are popular in my country) because I am not the extrovert type, but there is something always holding me back (shyness?) and I have never done something like this. Also, I find immensely hard to find lesbian or bi girls in my daily life (I haven't got Facebook or Twitter).

What should I do? :(

Sorry to bother you with these (mostly) self-esteem and confidence problems, I found really hard to write this post and click on the submit reply button. Thank you gaffers in any case!

Hey, Jacqli! Dont get so caught up in "what" you are. Its all just labels that dont actually do any good for you. Sexuality is thought to exist on a continuum anyways. Some are more inclined to find the same sex than others. Dont feel like you have to decide on guys or girls. Just explore what youre feeling.

I think finding a more respectable dating (not hookup) site and start conversations. Find someone who genuinely has a rapport with you and talk about your experiences. Having a friend to talk about your anxieties will help. When youre comfortable enough maybe you can meet in public.

Dont worry about defining your sexuality. Theres nothing wrong with exploring your sexuality. And if women dont do it for you thats okay too. Put yourself out there a little and gauge the response. And of course you always have GAF to chat with.
 

Razmos

Member
The book turns into a confusing mess after a certain event that feels like it's trying to be this higher-than-life psychological look into things or whatever. The book is filled with a bunch of dumb unnecessary deaths that did nothing to advance the plot. I wouldn't know about the Mockingjay movies though, do they change a lot of things?
They don't change the deaths, but the whole psychlogical part is portrayed a lot better in my opinion. It isn't told from Katniss's perspective, so it works a lot better in my opinion.



ANYWAY.
GayGAF, I have a story to tell you. About my first day of work.

So I set off for my first day today, thinking "oh lord, I bet there are going to be loads of hotties on my commute" and sure enough there were, towards the end of the journey a really cute guy got on the tram and we glanced at each other a couple of time, he got off the same stop as me, and I was like "Oh, he works around here?"

So I went exploring for a bit since I was early, and I doubled back when I reached the place i'm going to be working, and I saw him walking towards me and I was like "Shit, he doesn't work there does he?" but he walked past it, and I was like "Oh never mind". So then I went to go get a coffee and then walk back up again, and sure enough I ran into him AGAIN.

When I finished my coffee I went to the building and got signed in, and there were 3 or 4 other people who were signing in too, who were also there on their first day and were ready for the induction. And he comes in behind me, he's also starting at the exact same place on the same day, though he's going to be on a different team and a different floor *sweats*

I didn't get chance to talk to him but I caught him glancing at me a couple of times, I was going to introduce myself on the way back at the tram station, but he was looking at his phone and walked right past me :(
Ah well, I have all week.


That WAS the story I was originally going to tell, but something happened on the way home as well.

I was waiting for the train, and there was a train already there, despite the departure being in like another 20 minutes, and I was confused as to whether it was the train I was getting, and I waited there for around 5 minutes when an incredibly handsome, tanned skin guy with black hair walked past, bundled up in a fancy coat and scarf, he was gorgeous.

Then he doubled back and started talking to me. Just asking if this was that train, I told him that I wasn't sure myself and I had been wondering the same thing, we laughed about it and he went over to the driver to ask him but he wasn't there, so he came back to talk to me. I said I was going to ask one of the staff, and he came along with me, and we asked together.

We got sent to the wrong platform, but we started talking on the way about how bad the trains are, how little sense it makes, which led to us talking about trains in Japan, to talking about trains in London, until we started talking about why we were in the city, which led to me telling him it was my first day at a new job, and he started talking about his job, and we ended up getting on the train together and talking non-stop the entire train ride back.

I was just completely dumbfounded by this guy, our conversation was so natural and we had so many shared interests, he was telling me about his job as a freelance cinematographer, about where he comes from, his half-italian heritage, his hobbies and interests, we talked about movies and games, and he told me on length about his job and I kept asking him loads of questions and it was genuinely interesting. Our eyes were pretty much locked on each other the entire journey and at one point we leaned close together to see some pictures he was showing me on his phone and our legs touched and neither of us moved away.

It was actually a pretty short train journey but it seemed to last forever, and I didn't want it to end, and neither did he. He gave me his business card and stressed that I should email him or add him on facebook and we can keep in touch, even suggesting we could meet up and hang out.

I have never been this captivated by a person in my entire life. I hung on his every word, I watched his every movement. I think I fell in love in the space of a short train journey, and I smiled all the way home despite walking in the rain.

This is nuts, it's like some fairy tale nonsense. There is going to be an inevitable fall back to earth when I find out he's straight, but oh god, I can dream for just a little bit.
 
They don't change the deaths, but the whole psychlogical part is portrayed a lot better in my opinion. It isn't told from Katniss's perspective, so it works a lot better in my opinion.



ANYWAY.
GayGAF, I have a story to tell you. About my first day of work.

So I set off for my first day today, thinking "oh lord, I bet there are going to be loads of hotties on my commute" and sure enough there were, towards the end of the journey a really cute guy got on the tram and we glanced at each other a couple of time, he got off the same stop as me, and I was like "Oh, he works around here?"

So I went exploring for a bit since I was early, and I doubled back when I reached the place i'm going to be working, and I saw him walking towards me and I was like "Shit, he doesn't work there does he?" but he walked past it, and I was like "Oh never mind". So then I went to go get a coffee and then walk back up again, and sure enough I ran into him AGAIN.

When I finished my coffee I went to the building and got signed in, and there were 3 or 4 other people who were signing in too, who were also there on their first day and were ready for the induction. And he comes in behind me, he's also starting at the exact same place on the same day, though he's going to be on a different team and a different floor *sweats*

I didn't get chance to talk to him but I caught him glancing at me a couple of times, I was going to introduce myself on the way back at the tram station, but he was looking at his phone and walked right past me :(
Ah well, I have all week.


That WAS the story I was originally going to tell, but something happened on the way home as well.

I was waiting for the train, and there was a train already there, despite the departure being in like another 20 minutes, and I was confused as to whether it was the train I was getting, and I waited there for around 5 minutes when an incredibly handsome, tanned skin guy with black hair walked past, bundled up in a fancy coat and scarf, he was gorgeous.

Then he doubled back and started talking to me. Just asking if this was that train, I told him that I wasn't sure myself and I had been wondering the same thing, we laughed about it and he went over to the driver to ask him but he wasn't there, so he came back to talk to me. I said I was going to ask one of the staff, and he came along with me, and we asked together.

We got sent to the wrong platform, but we started talking on the way about how bad the trains are, how little sense it makes, which led to us talking about trains in Japan, to talking about trains in London, until we started talking about why we were in the city, which led to me telling him it was my first day at a new job, and he started talking about his job, and we ended up getting on the train together and talking non-stop the entire train ride back.

I was just completely dumbfounded by this guy, our conversation was so natural and we had so many shared interests, he was telling me about his job as a freelance cinematographer, about where he comes from, his half-italian heritage, his hobbies and interests, we talked about movies and games, and he told me on length about his job and I kept asking him loads of questions and it was genuinely interesting. Our eyes were pretty much locked on each other the entire journey and at one point we leaned close together to see some pictures he was showing me on his phone and our legs touched and neither of us moved away.

It was actually a pretty short train journey but it seemed to last forever, and I didn't want it to end, and neither did he. He gave me his business card and stressed that I should email him or add him on facebook and we can keep in touch, even suggesting we could meet up and hang out.

I have never been this captivated by a person in my entire life. I hung on his every word, I watched his every movement. I think I fell in love in the space of a short train journey, and I smiled all the way home despite walking in the rain.

This is nuts, it's like some fairy tale nonsense. There is going to be an inevitable fall back to earth when I find out he's straight, but oh god, I can dream for just a little bit.
where's part 10 where he invites you to his apartment. go on. you started this story.
 
The

This is nuts, it's like some fairy tale nonsense. There is going to be an inevitable fall back to earth when I find out he's straight, but oh god, I can dream for just a little bit.
My Oh my that second story is...dreamy. :p
Go for it dude! :D
At the very least, you've got a new friend. :)
 

Razmos

Member
Jesus christ, I bet you were sweating bullets.

I think in this situation it's hard to tell for sure but dammit if it ain't worth finding out.
I say go for it and find out more about this guy, at the very least you have a new fried.
I was totally calm and talkative. Which is weird because I'm usually a bundle of nerves and shy and I suck at conversations.

But our conversation only ever stopped when he was getting something up on his phone to show me.

I think I'm going to give it until I've ridden this wave before I add him on facebook and see how straight he is so I don't crash down too hard :(
 
D

Deleted member 465307

Unconfirmed Member
*background info for seeking help*

Hi Jacqli!

Welcome to the thread! I think you should find a way of socially connecting with women interested in women and be honest with them that you're new to this and still trying to figure stuff out. Sexual/romantic identity is not always simple and it can change with time, too. Worry about yourself before you worry about how others will interpret your past and present behavior. I'm not sure how Madrid is regarding LGBT issues and the size of its LGBT community, but I hope it won't present any barriers to you exploring this aspect of yourself. Perhaps it may even offer places where you can talk to people and get advice.

Don't get caught up in "implications"; for a bit, just try to live in the moment and see where it takes you. You may end up right where you started or somewhere you'd never expect. Good luck! :)

Please feel free to keep posting here as you start to find answers or more questions.

*cute stories*

Your eagerness and readiness are endearing. I'm sure something will work out for you soon.
 

Mask

Member
Is it okay to ask for advice here?

Because, I told one of my online friends I like him last night. We're both guys and both Bi.

He wasn't upset, and said he liked me too, but it's complicated because he's already in a sort-of long-distance thing with another guy. But, and here's the thing; my friend wants him to commit, and he won't. Every time my friend presses the issue with him, he gets angry and disappears for a week and won't talk to him. He's rarely there for him as it is, maybe once a week at max, and my friend gave him an ultimatum. Sort his shit out, or he'll lose him.

Now, I feel like a dick for even thinking this, but is it wrong to hope that he won't commit? It's not like I'm hoping for something impossible, my friend said he would likely try dating me, and the other guy is really shaky with paying attention to him. I even asked my friend about that; if the other guy won't commit, would he consider dating me instead? He said yes, but not to get my hopes up. I know the other guy won't commit, he's been asked plenty of times and the reaction is always the same; anger, and then he disappears for a while. He was online yesterday and wouldn't even talk to my friend. I really want to tell him that the other guy is a dick, nobody should be treated like that, and he's just stringing him along, but I'm scared of upsetting my friend, and I don't want him to think I'm trying to force a relationship with me.

It's hard for me not to hope, to be honest. I really like this guy, and I hate that the other guy is stringing him along, but he was nice at the beginning and that's what my friend is holding on to. So, am I a dick? Am I stupid for even holding on to hope?
 
D

Deleted member 465307

Unconfirmed Member
Is it okay to ask for advice here?

Because, I told one of my online friends I like him last night. We're both guys and both Bi.

He wasn't upset, and said he liked me too, but it's complicated because he's already in a sort-of long-distance thing with another guy. But, and here's the thing; my friend wants him to commit, and he won't. Every time my friend presses the issue with him, he gets angry and disappears for a week and won't talk to him. He's rarely there for him as it is, maybe once a week at max, and my friend gave him an ultimatum. Sort his shit out, or he'll lose him.

Now, I feel like a dick for even thinking this, but is it wrong to hope that he won't commit? It's not like I'm hoping for something impossible, my friend said he would likely try dating me, and the other guy is really shaky with paying attention to him. I even asked my friend about that; if the other guy won't commit, would he consider dating me instead? He said yes, but not to get my hopes up. I know the other guy won't commit, he's been asked plenty of times and the reaction is always the same; anger, and then he disappears for a while. He was online yesterday and wouldn't even talk to my friend. I really want to tell him that the other guy is a dick, nobody should be treated like that, and he's just stringing him along, but I'm scared of upsetting my friend, and I don't want him to think I'm trying to force a relationship with me.

It's hard for me not to, to be honest. I really like this guy, and I hate that the other guy is stringing him along, but he was nice at the beginning and that's what my friend is holding on to. So, am I a dick? Am I stupid for even holding on to hope?

My two cents: I'd say you can't be a jerk for having feelings. Trying to break them up for your own gain or somehow interfering in/manipulating the situation would make you a jerk in my eyes. As of now, it seems like you're fine. Let the guy sort out his relationship without you pressuring him in any way and then see what happens.

Good luck! I hope everyone ends up happy.
 

Nohar

Member
@Razmos: I'm jealous :'( You better meet that cute half-italian guy again and hang out. I hope that he is gay, but worst case scenario it sounds like you may have met a possible nice new friend. Let's hope it won't stop at that though ;-)

@Mask: Man, don't feel bad. You're not a dick (unless you actively try to sabotage their relationship, and it seems the other guy is doing that just fine by himself). Obviously your friend has had enough with his long-distance relationship (seriously? The guy throws thantrums and avoids answering questions about his relationship with your friend? I'm amazed your friend didn't ditch him sooner), but wants to do things correctly, by the book (also, he still has feelings for the other guy, otherwise he would have left him already). Let your friend sorts out his feelings and hope he ends this relationship.
That being said, careful: you may not want to end up in a long-distance relationship yourself. I hope that you and your friend are on the same wavelength.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom