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LGBTQIA+ |OT8| PrEPare Yourself.

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K

Kinsei

Banned
So the other day I noticed some stretch marks from my weight loss and was complimented by a random stranger so my week has been pretty awesome so far (well the actual stretch marks aren't awesome but you know what I mean). How about all of you.

Henchmen21 said:
Making some pasta for dinner. What are you guys having?
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Fish with some baby potatoes and peas.
 
R

RatskyWatsky

Hunky Nostradamus
That documentary I mentioned a while back is now on Netflix - the one about masculinity (more specifically, toxic masculinity) - The Mask You Live In. I thought it was good - thought provoking and relatable but also pretty unfocused and rambling at times.

TjjkXBN.jpg
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I would have liked it to be a little more in depth (maybe as like a multi part series where each episode (~30 minutes) focuses on a specific aspect of masculinity in American culture, and then maybe expand the amount of episodes to cover how masculinity is practiced in other areas of the world) but it was still enlightening (even helped me to discover a few things about myself!) so I definitely recommend it.
 
D

Deleted member 465307

Unconfirmed Member
Does anyone here have issues relating to birthdays? For whatever reason, I don't handle the recognition of my birthday well. I get hostile when people try to make plans for a celebration (I do everything in my power to reject the plans or try to delay them long enough by making myself unavailable that they never happen), and I hope I don't get gifts. I don't really like people wishing me a happy birthday either. My mood also often becomes periodically quite miserable and sad on or around my birthday. Doing things like going out to dinner or any kind of "let's sit down and recognize his birthday" things are the worst. I don't think it has anything to do with getting older, since I don't really care about that, so it's not one of those "where has my youth gone???" moments. This has popped up most recently this year with my parents trying to get me to go out to dinner and asking what I want for my birthday, and all of these conversations have made me upset. Since I don't think I'll be able to get out of it, I'll probably have to endure some meal out with them and just count the minutes until it's over. I'd like to use the argument "it's my birthday, so shouldn't we do something that makes me happy? aka nothing" but I don't think it will fly. I think deep down I might greatly value the attention (which is probably why I don't remove my birthday from Facebook; a small part of me thinks I'm posting this for attention as well)), but sometimes it's hard to feel that underneath the resentment I feel towards it. A part of me wishes everyone would ignore or forget it or put their attention elsewhere, but I think that would also make me sad.

I know it's weird, but can anyone relate to this at all?

Dany said:
It was amazing, thanks for asking. It was the first day and I did so so much for my patieny, it felt exhilarating, time flew. It isn't for the fairy of heart; a lot of it is really devastating. :/ but I feel like I can do a lot in the ICU setting.
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Awesome! I can only imagine how stressful yet rewarding it could be. I hope it continues to be fantastic!
 
A

Aarglefarg

Member
kirbyfan407 said:
Does anyone here have issues relating to birthdays? For whatever reason, I don't handle the recognition of my birthday well. I get hostile when people try to make plans for a celebration (I do everything in my power to reject the plans or try to delay them long enough by making myself unavailable that they never happen), and I hope I don't get gifts. I don't really like people wishing me a happy birthday either. My mood also often becomes periodically quite miserable and sad on or around my birthday. Doing things like going out to dinner or any kind of "let's sit down and recognize his birthday" things are the worst. I don't think it has anything to do with getting older, since I don't really care about that, so it's not one of those "where has my youth gone???" moments. This has popped up most recently this year with my parents trying to get me to go out to dinner and asking what I want for my birthday, and all of these conversations have made me upset. Since I don't think I'll be able to get out of it, I'll probably have to endure some meal out with them and just count the minutes until it's over. I'd like to use the argument "it's my birthday, so shouldn't we do something that makes me happy? aka nothing" but I don't think it will fly. I think deep down I might greatly value the attention (which is probably why I don't remove my birthday from Facebook), but sometimes it's hard to feel that underneath the resentment I feel towards it. A part of me wishes everyone would ignore or forget it, but I think that would also make me sad.

I know it's weird, but can anyone relate to this at all?
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I appreciate an opportunity to get pizza and some money (my preferred present) but I don't like it being a big deal. No birthday song. Just something discreet, no-streamers-attached, no poppers.

Since my birthday is later this month, my mum asked me yesterday what we could do for it and I said we could get pizza at home, she said it could be homemade. Then today she called me at work and said it could be at a buffet for lunch instead since my sister wouldn't have much pizza. That was fine even though I will have a probably stressful appointment right after lunch on my birthday... but now I'm thinking my dad will probably loudly talk about it being my birthday.
 
R

RM8

Member
So I decided to try Tinder while I'm staying in Tokyo, and I've gotten so many "likes" here compared to when I tried it back in Mexico 😝 I'm mostly friendly-texting with a handsome 23 years old who wants to learn Spanish and... a 48 years old who I swear looks 35 at most
with a pretty superb body to boot, lol
who speaks a somewhat slang-y Japanese. Hot Grandpa invited me to his house, which I'm not comfortable with, while Spanish dude hasn't invited me anywhere :[
 
Z

Zalasta

Member
kirbyfan407 said:
I know it's weird, but can anyone relate to this at all?
Click to expand...

I think it's perfectly reasonable for you to decide what you want to do (and don't want to do) for your birthday. However, with that said, I think your reaction is a bit extreme. Remember that these events are opportunities for people to show that they care about you. So if you really don't enjoy them making a fuss over you, how about try to preempt them next time by doing something for them instead. That way they can feel good about having spent it with you and you for doing nice things for others. It's a win-win.
 
O

Omegasquash

Member
kirbyfan407 said:
Does anyone here have issues relating to birthdays?
Click to expand...

I tend to buck the family tradition of going to a hibachi joint and wrangling the young kids and watching them not eat and waste my money, etc, etc. Don't get me wrong, I like it, but I'm not a fan of parties or loud stuff, or being forced to do things, by other people, to celebrate my birthday the way they want me to.

My pie in the sky was actually this past year. Bethesda always releases their games on the week of my birthday, and my goal was to take a total cheat day starting at midnight on my b-day. A quality glass of whiskey, lots of great take out, and no interactions with humans. Just 24 hours of Fallout 4.

My wife broke her ankle the week before, and had surgery two days before, so it didn't happen. Such is life with a legit injured wife and a couple of rugrats. But I came out to her on Thanksgiving, and she was completely supportive, so I'm taking November 2015 as a massive win.
 
K

Kevyt

Member
kirbyfan407 said:
Does anyone here have issues relating to birthdays? For whatever reason, I don't handle the recognition of my birthday well. I get hostile when people try to make plans for a celebration (I do everything in my power to reject the plans or try to delay them long enough by making myself unavailable that they never happen), and I hope I don't get gifts. I don't really like people wishing me a happy birthday either. My mood also often becomes periodically quite miserable and sad on or around my birthday. Doing things like going out to dinner or any kind of "let's sit down and recognize his birthday" things are the worst. I don't think it has anything to do with getting older, since I don't really care about that, so it's not one of those "where has my youth gone???" moments. This has popped up most recently this year with my parents trying to get me to go out to dinner and asking what I want for my birthday, and all of these conversations have made me upset. Since I don't think I'll be able to get out of it, I'll probably have to endure some meal out with them and just count the minutes until it's over. I'd like to use the argument "it's my birthday, so shouldn't we do something that makes me happy? aka nothing" but I don't think it will fly. I think deep down I might greatly value the attention (which is probably why I don't remove my birthday from Facebook; a small part of me thinks I'm posting this for attention as well)), but sometimes it's hard to feel that underneath the resentment I feel towards it. A part of me wishes everyone would ignore or forget it or put their attention elsewhere, but I think that would also make me sad.

I know it's weird, but can anyone relate to this at all?
Click to expand...

Yes, I can definitely relate.

Except for me I know it's about feeling sad around that time for various reasons and I don't enjoy birthdays. Last year, my birthday party was just miserable. It's something that shouldn't have happened but my grandma insisted on it. Anyways she had good intentions so I had to act happy even though I felt like crying in the inside.

My birthday is around the corner, and I had legitimately forgotten about it until my father asked me if I wanted to do something. I got a bit sad when I remembered, lol. I rather stay at home playing videogames and sleeping.

I think I also avoid hanging out or celebrating my birthday because it reminds me that another year has gone by and can't think of a moment where I was happy, where I accomplished something and felt good about myself. I just feel like a failure and don't see the reason to celebrate.

I also think of the things I would do differently if I could go back in time. For this, birthdays are not something I look forward to.

I have the same reaction as you to birthdays. However, I know why. You say with you this is recent. Have you been depressed lately? What about your previous birthdays?
 
M

Mostmanlyman

Member
Yeah im the same way i just like a chill birthday, gift and stuff is fine. But like i havent had a birthday party in like 6-7 years, i just hate trying to plan everything because are always flaky and hard get a solid answer from.
Planning is way more stressful than it is worth.
 
D

daripad

Member
So a guy asked me out on a date tomorrow. I'm not attracted to him at the slightest and I find him very irritating and annoying for me. I accepted anyway but I want to make it clear that I only want to be friends with him. Do you think I should have refused or what I'm planning to do is ok?
 
B

berzeli

Banned
daripad said:
So a guy asked me out on a date tomorrow. I'm not attracted to him at the slightest and I find him very irritating and annoying for me. I accepted anyway but I want to make it clear that I only want to be friends with him. Do you think I should have refused or what I'm planning to do is ok?
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Why did you even accept if you just find him annoying? Like what are you going to get out of the date? I just do not get why you are going to put yourself in an uncomfortable position with someone you find irritating.
 
K

Kevyt

Member
daripad said:
So a guy asked me out on a date tomorrow. I'm not attracted to him at the slightest and I find him very irritating and annoying for me. I accepted anyway but I want to make it clear that I only want to be friends with him. Do you think I should have refused or what I'm planning to do is ok?
Click to expand...

I think it's okay as long as you say to him that it's just as friends, which you did. Just have fun and don't expect anything, and don't give any signs of hope to him. :p
 
K

Kater

Banned
daripad said:
So a guy asked me out on a date tomorrow. I'm not attracted to him at the slightest and I find him very irritating and annoying for me. I accepted anyway but I want to make it clear that I only want to be friends with him. Do you think I should have refused or what I'm planning to do is ok?
Click to expand...

I guess now you might as well go. But in the future I'd say it's better if you are upfront about your feelings if possible.

Aarglefarg said:
Golnei and Sub Boss both got banned today. :(
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthre...#post200350672
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;_;7

Hope those two come back soon again.
 
D

daripad

Member
It looks like I fucked up :/

Well, I will see him today, so I can still say that I don't want to go. Oh gosh, I'm so awkward.
 
K

Kevyt

Member
RM8 said:
So I decided to try Tinder while I'm staying in Tokyo, and I've gotten so many "likes" here compared to when I tried it back in Mexico 😝 I'm mostly friendly-texting with a handsome 23 years old who wants to learn Spanish and... a 48 years old who I swear looks 35 at most
with a pretty superb body to boot, lol
who speaks a somewhat slang-y Japanese. Hot Grandpa invited me to his house, which I'm not comfortable with, while Spanish dude hasn't invited me anywhere :[
Click to expand...

Nadie es profeta en su propia tierra. :p
 
D

Dead Prince

Banned
RM8 said:
So I decided to try Tinder while I'm staying in Tokyo, and I've gotten so many "likes" here compared to when I tried it back in Mexico 😝 I'm mostly friendly-texting with a handsome 23 years old who wants to learn Spanish and... a 48 years old who I swear looks 35 at most
with a pretty superb body to boot, lol
who speaks a somewhat slang-y Japanese. Hot Grandpa invited me to his house, which I'm not comfortable with, while Spanish dude hasn't invited me anywhere :[
Click to expand...
Go for daddy
 
O

Omegasquash

Member
daripad said:
So a guy asked me out on a date tomorrow. I'm not attracted to him at the slightest and I find him very irritating and annoying for me. I accepted anyway but I want to make it clear that I only want to be friends with him. Do you think I should have refused or what I'm planning to do is ok?
Click to expand...

Why'd you accept? Hell, if he's irritating and annoying, why even bother to be friends? You don't owe friendship, or time, to people that just want it, after all.

Dead Prince said:
Go for daddy
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Mmmhm. Suggest a better place to meet up than his house, RM8.
 
M

Maledict

Member
daripad said:
So a guy asked me out on a date tomorrow. I'm not attracted to him at the slightest and I find him very irritating and annoying for me. I accepted anyway but I want to make it clear that I only want to be friends with him. Do you think I should have refused or what I'm planning to do is ok?
Click to expand...

You should refuse really. He's going to come along to a date thinking he has a chance, and then either you're going to have to crush him early on or you won't be able to and you'll end up in more trouble down the road.

Always be upfront about what you want and your interest level would be my recommendation.
 
D

Deleted member 465307

Unconfirmed Member
Thanks for the responses, suggestions, and birthday stories, everyone. :)

Seath said:
I have the same reaction as you to birthdays. However, I know why. You say with you this is recent. Have you been depressed lately? What about your previous birthdays?
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I'd say I've been sad (I won't call it depressed, given the word's meaning) a few times lately, mostly in the hours following when people have mentioned something about my birthday and making plans. It didn't come up yesterday, so I was good, but today is likey to be the most difficult. Then I should be mostly in the clear except for a few friends insisting on doing something eventually. I don't mind hanging out with them, but the focus on my birthday is what typically upsets me.

Yes, I brought this up because it's been an annual issue to varying degrees, but I'd never really collected anyone's thoughts on it.
 
B

berzeli

Banned
20,000 lesbians in the desert: welcome to the Dinah, a world without men
Every year at the end of March, 20,000 lesbians from around the world fly into the Californian desert for five days of debauchery, and I’m one of them. It’s my second time at the Dinah, also known as the largest girl festival in the world. I’m staying at the Hilton in Palm Springs, which is hosting the famous Dinah pool parties, and the hotel feels like a homosexual harem.
...
It’s also about scantily clad celebration. Maybe all the clothes got destroyed during the gaypocalypse, because nobody’s wearing much. Several opt for stickers or tape over their nipples instead of bikini tops, and I can’t help but think they will later regret the decision (think: ripping off a Band-aid). Then again, so might getting in the pool. There are fake eyelashes floating in the water, and I don’t want to imagine what sort of bodily fluids. You can’t get syphilis from a swimming pool but, for a moment, I wonder.
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The hedonism at display... tsk tsk. It's things like these that makes lesbians have such a bad rep for being so incredibly non committal and spreading diseases ar-You know what I can't keep it up.
But it really is a fascinating piece. you should give it a read
 
B

berzeli

Banned
Oh I forgot, but it really deserves its own post:
4dhEsDQ.gif

Colombia Just Affirmed That Same-Sex Couples Can Get Married
Colombia’s Constitutional Court ruled Thursday that same-sex couples in the Latin American country have the right to marry.

The 6-3 ruling affirmed that no judge or notary could legally turn down a couple’s marriage request due to their sexual orientation. The decision builds on a 2011 ruling that stated unions between same-sex couples were entitled to legal protections, but dodged the question of marriage.
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M

mantidor

Member
I feel ashamed I don't understand our judiciary system very well, because marriage already existed, I don't know what is the difference now.

P.S. I can't access neogaf on my PC only on mobile is this happening to anyone else? D:
 
B

berzeli

Banned
mantidor said:
I feel ashamed I don't understand our judiciary system very well, because marriage already existed, I don't know what is the difference now.
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It sort of did and sort of didn't. I'm not entirely caught up, but if I understand my colombian, um, friend correctly. Some people got married, conservative fuckwits got upset, marriages were annulled. A lower ring court/judges(?) let people marry, fuckwits got upset again. It worked it's way up the system and here we are.

I should add that the Colombian government recognised marriages before today, but now it's fully legal and recognised by the courts as well.
 
D

Dead Prince

Banned
RM8 said:
Especially when you're not buff and bearded. Japan doesn't seem to obsess over that look, thankfully :p


I don't think so, lol. But he's now inviting me to the local gym, which I guess is exponentially less creepy. But I already asked the other guy out :B
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He wants to develop the glutes
You know what that means. (Y)
 
Herbspiceguy

Herbspiceguy

Member
To give up or not give up my ass to a guy I've met through a sex dating site.
That's the question stuck in my head since I met him earlier this week.
I'm a 32yo straight (ok, maybe bi, but nobody knows) male who has been longing for a bottom experience with a man for a long time.
I'm sure I want to have this first experience with a man. I'm ready for it physically and I could it with him. At the same time there are personal barriers getting in the way. Like it's degrading for me as a man.
I did a quick Google search on this subject and this hits the mark:
This is the single biggest emotional stumbling block gay men have about bottoming—being labeled less than a man. For many of us, bottoming isn’t an opportunity to enjoy a pleasurable sexual experience but an act that threatens our sense of masculinity and the respect that goes with it. Many gay men believe that if they bottom they will become “a bottom.” They fear that bottoming will create a new unwanted identity for them. It just may be that you haven’t been able to bottom (or been able to enjoy it) because you have so many emotional issues around the act. If you can get away from the falsehood of bottoming as an identity and see it for what it is—an erotic activity—the more relaxed and receptive you will be.
Click to expand...
 
A

Aarglefarg

Member
Herbspiceguy said:
To give up or not give up my ass to a guy I've met through a sex dating site.
That's the question stuck in my head since I met him earlier this week.
I'm a 32yo straight (ok, maybe bi, but nobody knows) male who has been longing for a bottom experience with a man for a long time.
I'm sure I want to have this first experience with a man. I'm ready for it physically and I could it with him. At the same time there are personal barriers getting in the way. Like it's degrading for me as a man.
I did a quick Google search on this subject and this hits the mark:
Click to expand...
Make sure you're comfortable with it and if you aren't then you should nope out at absolutely any time. You could perhaps do other things together to build up the comfort first, though maybe in the moment of arousal your concerns just won't be there.
 
Y

yepyepyep

Member
Herbspiceguy said:
To give up or not give up my ass to a guy I've met through a sex dating site.
That's the question stuck in my head since I met him earlier this week.
I'm a 32yo straight (ok, maybe bi, but nobody knows) male who has been longing for a bottom experience with a man for a long time.
I'm sure I want to have this first experience with a man. I'm ready for it physically and I could it with him. At the same time there are personal barriers getting in the way. Like it's degrading for me as a man.
I did a quick Google search on this subject and this hits the mark:
Click to expand...

I dunno, I've always found the idea that bottoming is emasculating for a man makes it almost into an act of rebellion lmao. Like if you're bottoming you are actually sort of saying
fuck you to the gender expectations of men which is kind of badass (ass pun intended).
 
B

Bladenic

Member
Rough night/day. It sucks when you realize your hard work amounts to nothing and that you're always gonna be a failure.

But I'm seeing Amy Schumer tonight so it's okay
 
D

Deleted member 465307

Unconfirmed Member
Last update on this, I promise: birthday went surprisingly smoothly. I didn't get as upset or sad as I have in the past. I received a nice phone call from a friend I haven't seen in a while and nice messages throughout the day. I also ate a 14 oz. tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream with a spoon. Beyoncé didn't release her album, so that was a disappointment, but apart from that, not bad! It probably helped that I wrote a bit, which allowed me to externalize some of my thoughts. Now I'm just debating what to do with them.

Bladenic said:
Rough night/day. It sucks when you realize your hard work amounts to nothing and that you're always gonna be a failure.

But I'm seeing Amy Schumer tonight so it's okay
Click to expand...

I'm sorry it was rough. I don't know your situation, so I can't and won't dispute your claims with any confidence. Yet, I'm going to say I bet you have had more successes than you realize and will have more successes than you expect! Okay, that's all the cloying optimism I'll make you endure. I really am sorry that whatever it was didn't work out and seems to be part of a pattern. Do you want to talk about it?

I hope Amy Schumer is uplifting tonight!
 
B

Blood Diamonds

Banned
kirbyfan407 said:
Last update on this, I promise: birthday went surprisingly smoothly. I didn't get as upset or sad as I have in the past. I received a nice phone call from a friend I haven't seen in a while and nice messages throughout the day. I also ate a 14 oz. tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream with a spoon. Beyoncé didn't release her album, so that was a disappointment, but apart from that, not bad! It probably helped that I wrote a bit, which allowed me to externalize some of my thoughts. Now I'm just debating what to do with them.



I'm sorry it was rough. I don't know your situation, so I can't and won't dispute your claims with any confidence. Yet, I'm going to say I bet you have had more successes than you realize and will have more successes than you expect! Okay, that's all the cloying optimism I'll make you endure. I really am sorry that whatever it was didn't work out and seems to be part of a pattern. Do you want to talk about it?

I hope Amy Schumer is uplifting tonight!
Click to expand...
glad to hear you had a good birthday! Birthdays can be great if you're with the right people c:
 
3

3phemeral

Member
kirbyfan407 said:
Last update on this, I promise: birthday went surprisingly smoothly. I didn't get as upset or sad as I have in the past. I received a nice phone call from a friend I haven't seen in a while and nice messages throughout the day. I also ate a 14 oz. tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream with a spoon. Beyoncé didn't release her album, so that was a disappointment, but apart from that, not bad! It probably helped that I wrote a bit, which allowed me to externalize some of my thoughts. Now I'm just debating what to do with them.
Click to expand...

Happy (belated?) birthday!
 
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