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[VICTORsaurio]

It's been a long time since I posted in here, but I'm a bit overwhelmed at the moment and just need to get stuff out of my chest to try and not go insane.

A couple of weeks ago I met a guy who I had talked with back in January on tinder, he's from another town but he was looking for a job here back in January, and now he actually found it. We stopped talking back then but I saw him on grindr, without realising it was him and we started talking again. So the next day we went out for dinner and it went great. Our personalities are very different, we're opposites on some things but we're both the same sign (cancer) so we also share some personality traits.

I walked him home and kissed him before leaving. After that I started like saying really flattering things to him all the time and he took it well. The next day we went for dinner again (though it was more of an informal thing, where I just asked if he would like me to join him). I walked him home again. Our next day was a couple of days after that, we went to the movies and after that we talked about some more serious stuff, mostly me, about my fears and about what I wanted in a man/relationship (because he was asking). I let down my walls and was really honest, I told him I tend to overthink things.

After that we've seen each other 3 more times, one day I surprised him with dinner at his apartment, we also went out dancing with one of his friends and finally on Saturday we had dinner at his place and watched a movie.

So as you can see we've been sort of going at it full throttle in less than two weeks and it's been amazing to finally meet someone who's not a douche and likes me back. But it seems that I've been having a bit of trouble adjusting to that. I've had a couple of episodes of misreading his "signs" and overthinking things, the first one was pretty minor, on Saturday. He clarified things but after it I kept thinking "I screwed it" and it just kept building up because he's been extremely busy and Sunday was the first mother's day since my mom died and yesterday I just exploded for the second time.

I wrote him a long text, which was something like: "I think we're not looking for the same things, I feel like a fool and I can't just not say anything about it". He said he wanted to talk in person, I expected the talk to be a confirmation of my fears but it wasn't. He was a bit upset but he just said he's been extremely busy and stressed with his new job, while finishing his college thesis (which he was to turn in in a couple of weeks) and that he didn't move here looking for a boyfriend and it's not his priority but he also thinks we can make it work.

So I think we're good now but again, now I can't stop thinking that I blew it but I guess there's nothing I can say or do other than just waiting until I don't think about it anymore (and hoping neither does him). As I said I've just dated so many guys who aren't upfront about their feelings or what they're looking for, that assure everything is fine and the next week they tell me they have a boyfriend or that they like someone else.

Anyway, not sure what the point of this post is, I'm just trying to stop thinking about this whole deal and be a normal guy. I'm really hoping both of us can actually make it through this

 

[Dead Prince]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vytgHD2pqyk

Douwe Bob <3

do you like the song or him. you have to pick

 

[Kevyt]

do you like the song or him. you have to pick

Both.

He's really cute, and the song is nice.

Oh, and he's bi.

Like yaasss

Edit: Him

<3

 

[Captain Europe]

Both.

He's really cute, and the song is nice.

Oh, and he's bi.

Like yaasss

<3

Yeah? I had no idea, and I live in NL xD.

 

[3phemeral]

It's been a long time since I posted in here, but I'm a bit overwhelmed at the moment and just need to get stuff out of my chest to try and not go insane.

A couple of weeks ago I met a guy who I had talked with back in January on tinder, he's from another town but he was looking for a job here back in January, and now he actually found it. We stopped talking back then but I saw him on grindr, without realising it was him and we started talking again. So the next day we went out for dinner and it went great. Our personalities are very different, we're opposites on some things but we're both the same sign (cancer) so we also share some personality traits.

I walked him home and kissed him before leaving. After that I started like saying really flattering things to him all the time and he took it well. The next day we went for dinner again (though it was more of an informal thing, where I just asked if he would like me to join him). I walked him home again. Our next day was a couple of days after that, we went to the movies and after that we talked about some more serious stuff, mostly me, about my fears and about what I wanted in a man/relationship (because he was asking). I let down my walls and was really honest, I told him I tend to overthink things.

After that we've seen each other 3 more times, one day I surprised him with dinner at his apartment, we also went out dancing with one of his friends and finally on Saturday we had dinner at his place and watched a movie.

So as you can see we've been sort of going at it full throttle in less than two weeks and it's been amazing to finally meet someone who's not a douche and likes me back. But it seems that I've been having a bit of trouble adjusting to that. I've had a couple of episodes of misreading his "signs" and overthinking things, the first one was pretty minor, on Saturday. He clarified things but after it I kept thinking "I screwed it" and it just kept building up because he's been extremely busy and Sunday was the first mother's day since my mom died and yesterday I just exploded for the second time.

I wrote him a long text, which was something like: "I think we're not looking for the same things, I feel like a fool and I can't just not say anything about it". He said he wanted to talk in person, I expected the talk to be a confirmation of my fears but it wasn't. He was a bit upset but he just said he's been extremely busy and stressed with his new job, while finishing his college thesis (which he was to turn in in a couple of weeks) and that he didn't move here looking for a boyfriend and it's not his priority but he also thinks we can make it work.

So I think we're good now but again, now I can't stop thinking that I blew it but I guess there's nothing I can say or do other than just waiting until I don't think about it anymore (and hoping neither does him). As I said I've just dated so many guys who aren't upfront about their feelings or what they're looking for, that assure everything is fine and the next week they tell me they have a boyfriend or that they like someone else.

Anyway, not sure what the point of this post is, I'm just trying to stop thinking about this whole deal and be a normal guy. I'm really hoping both of us can actually make it through this

Sounds to me that you don't have much relationship experience and you're placing him on a pedestal (is that accurate?). In my experience, things like this take time to adjust to someone in both allowing the relationship to naturally grow and in being confident with yourself enough that you don't need to over obsess over these details concerning how you think they should go, versus what reality might be.

If you're like I was, then the only thing you can do is learn from your mistakes - that is - if you recognize that what you are doing is the true source of the problem and that it's not really something he's instigating. You really have to understand your own motivations and insecurities and be able to filter that out from clouding your interpretation of their actions.

Main thing from what I've learned is communication is key. Honesty is key. Being receptive is key. Having both parties willing to comply to this very minimal standard and being patient is key. You can't have a healthy relationship without these things and even now, after almost 8 years, I'm still learning about the depth to which you can be open with someone.

Things like this take time and you'll make mistakes. You may even think that you've met the "right one" (in your mind) but you or he may not be even ready at all. It's fine to make mistakes, be heartbroken, and fall back in love again. No one person will ever be your last chance, even though at the time it may feel that way.

 

[VICTORsaurio]

Sounds to me that you don't have much relationship experience and you're placing him on a pedestal (is that accurate?). In my experience, things like this take time to adjust to someone in both allowing the relationship to naturally grow and in being confident with yourself enough that you don't need to over obsess over these details concerning how you think they should go, versus what reality might be.

If you're like I was, then the only thing you can do is learn from your mistakes - that is - if you recognize that what you are doing is the true source of the problem and that it's not really something he's instigating. You really have to understand your own motivations and insecurities and be able to filter that out from clouding your interpretation of their actions.

Main thing from what I've learned is communication is key. Honesty is key. Being receptive is key. Having both parties willing to comply to this very minimal standard and being patient is key. You can't have a healthy relationship without these things and even now, after almost 8 years, I'm still learning about the depth to which you can be open with someone.

Things like this take time and you'll make mistakes. You may even think that you've met the "right one" (in your mind) but you or he may not be even ready at all. It's fine to make mistakes, be heartbroken, and fall back in love again. No one person will ever be your last chance, even though at the time it may feel that way.

Thanks for your words. I had a 5 years relationship when I was 21-26. It was a great one but after that I've been trying to figure out the whole dating thing without much luck. I know it's no excuse but I'm just not used to having someone liking me back and while I'm not jaded and keep on trying and opening myself to other guys I guess there's something inside me that keeps saying "it's not gonna work out, just like it didn't with all those other guys".

 

[Ambitious]

If there's something private I'd like to ask letters-GAF but don't want to post it publicly, who could I talk to? Who's a well-known, trusted member of letters-GAF? (I'm pretty new here, so I don't know)

 

[3phemeral]

I guess there's something inside me that keeps saying "it's not gonna work out, just like it didn't with all those other guys".

Is it just the previous long-term relationship that's the main source of this feeling, or do you have other things you feel contribute to this? And is there any reason why you're thinking so far ahead of yourself?

My advice is to try and take the relationship day by day. Use that time to get to know each other and learn if there's any incompatibilities. You'll see how they interact with their families, their friends, etc. You can really only make any decisions regarding the future after you've ruled out any behavior which you might contribute to "first-time dating syndrome," where you're always putting your best foot forward to impress someone. And that takes months and months of being with someone, even if it's almost every day.

 

[Kevyt]

If there's something private I'd like to ask letters-GAF but don't want to post it publicly, who could I talk to? Who's a well-known, trusted member of letters-GAF? (I'm pretty new here, so I don't know)

Me!!

Jk, any of the guys here are really nice and willing to listen.

But you can talk me if you want/feel comfortable.

 

[Deleted member 465307]

If there's something private I'd like to ask letters-GAF but don't want to post it publicly, who could I talk to? Who's a well-known, trusted member of letters-GAF? (I'm pretty new here, so I don't know)

It might be helpful if you give a small indication of the subject (romance, friends/family, sex, career, etc.) and then people can offer help if they feel comfortable with that topic.

For what it's worth, I'm always willing to listen.

 

[VICTORsaurio]

Is it just the previous long-term relationship that's the main source of this feeling, or do you have other things you feel contribute to this? And is there any reason why you're thinking so far ahead of yourself?

It's nothing to do with the previous relationship actually, that was a pretty amicable breakup.

I didn't really have much dating experience, with my first boyfriend we pretty much became boyfriends on our second date. So I guess since our breakup I've been making a lot of mistakes trying to figure it out. I tend to "fall in love" really easily and then ending up heartbroken.

I've been single for about 4 years now, had a few hook ups that I wished ended up being something more but they obviously didn't. Dated quite a few guys, the ones I've liked never liked me back so I think that's where my fears come from. And mostly from dishonesty from some of those guys, that assure they like you and everything is fine, only to stop texting you a couple of days later.

 

[Ambitious]

It might be helpful if you give a small indication of the subject (romance, friends/family, sex, career, etc.) and then people can offer help if they feel comfortable with that topic.

For what it's worth, I'm always willing to listen.

Now that I re-read my post, "something private" was probably a bit misleading.

All I'd like to ask is feedback on my dating profile. Considering my lack of success so far, I feel like there has to be something seriously wrong with it. But I'm not sure what the issue could be.
I did post pictures of me before, but my profile is a bit too personal to post it on a public forum. So I'd rather send the link to one person only.

 

[JCX]

That sounds real promising Victor! He sounds like he's still interested. Maybe just give him some time for things to get less crazy.

 

[Vazduh]

Yup, I agree, that guy sounds nice. Just take it easy, Victor, and try to occupy yourself with something when you start overthinking things. Easier said than done, but no one else can do that instead of you.

 

[Deleted member 465307]

Now that I re-read my post, "something private" was probably a bit misleading.

All I'd like to ask is feedback on my dating profile. Considering my lack of success so far, I feel like there has to be something seriously wrong with it. But I'm not sure what the issue could be.
I did post pictures of me before, but my profile is a bit too personal to post it on a public forum. So I'd rather send the link to one person only.

Ah, okay. Well, I don't have much experience with online dating and I think I'm pretty terrible at making profiles, so I won't be very helpful. But I'm sure some people here are. Good luck!

 

[JCX]

Now that I re-read my post, "something private" was probably a bit misleading.

All I'd like to ask is feedback on my dating profile. Considering my lack of success so far, I feel like there has to be something seriously wrong with it. But I'm not sure what the issue could be.
I did post pictures of me before, but my profile is a bit too personal to post it on a public forum. So I'd rather send the link to one person only.

I have too many dating profiles. I am not sure what makes a good one, but you can PM me if you want.

 

[Sai-kun]

im a very well known and trusted jackass of this community if that means anything

 

[umop_3pisdn]

im a very well known and trusted jackass of this community if that means anything

me2

 

[Ambitious]

I have too many dating profiles. I am not sure what makes a good one, but you can PM me if you want.

Alright then, I'll send you a PM. Thanks in advance.

 

[Brawly Likes to Brawl]

Why are the professors in Pokemon so hot now?

 

[RatskyWatsky]

for the first time since gen 2 the grass starter is the best starter

grass owl slays your faves

 

[B-Dex]

I have a feeling the seal will look badass fully evolved.

 

[RatskyWatsky]

I have a feeling the seal will look badass fully evolved.

i hope it loses the circus theme

 

[RM8]

for the first time since gen 2 the grass starter is the best starter

grass owl slays your faves

You're nuts, we just had Chespin last time. And yes, once again the grass starter is the best :]

 

[Kevyt]

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1217059

news

That's really good.

 

[Deleted member 465307]

for the first time since gen 2 the grass starter is the best starter

grass owl slays your faves

I have a feeling the seal will look badass fully evolved.

i hope it loses the circus theme

These opinions are good ones. Except I think Chespin might be my favorite first form in XY.

Ratsky, I'm afraid your wish (and mine, too) probably won't happen. I see it becoming more and more connected to the circus theme. That said, I really hope it turns out okay. Froakie was my least favorite of the starters, but it had my favorite final evolution.

 

[RatskyWatsky]

You're nuts, we just had Chespin last time. And yes, once again the grass starter is the best :]

These opinions are good ones. Except I think Chespin might be my favorite first form in XY.

the frog was the best

Ratsky, I'm afraid your wish (and mine, too) probably won't happen. I see it becoming more and more connected to the circus theme. That said, I really hope it turns out okay.

:/

 

[Bladenic]

Uncharted 4 is ending me. Crying at Chapter 4. The graphics. This is already better Uncharted 3rash

 

[daripad]

Amazon hasn't send my Uncharted 4 copy ugh. I need hot Nate on my tv right now tbh.

I think the new starters are not as good as last gen, but the owl and the seal might evolve into something cool. I hate the fire cat.

 

[Mostmanlyman]

Yeah the new water starter looks dumb. I like the fire one but the grass one is the best.

 

[Brawly Likes to Brawl]

i hope it loses the circus theme

I need my trickster clown that trolls circles around everything in case they screw up the cat.

 

[B-Dex]

Uncharted 4 is ending me. Crying at Chapter 4. The graphics. This is already better Uncharted 3rash

The Epilogue is trash. Wasted potential. The game's title is irrelevant and trash. Combat scenarios remain trash. But everything else is good.

 

[Kinsei]

i hope it loses the circus theme

I doubt it. It seems like all three have a circus theme with the owl as the ring leader and the cat as the fire breather/performing tiger.

I think it's obvious who I like the most.

 

[Vazra]

The Epilogue is trash. Wasted potential. The game's title is irrelevant and trash. Combat scenarios remain trash. But everything else is good.

Sounds like another Uncharted to me. ¯\_(&#12484_/¯

 

[_Isaac]

Both.

He's really cute, and the song is nice.

Oh, and he's bi.

Like yaasss

Edit: Him

<3

This is a nice photo.

 

[Dany]

in a month im going to DC for their pride festivities.

anyone here from the area?

 

[Dead Prince]

Grass tarter looks like they too less time to do and just turned on the symmetry mode and drew half the body and called it a day

 

[BlueBadger]

Starting with Litten, no contest. I'm way too big of a cat person to not pick Litten <3

 

[_Isaac]

Starting with Litten, no contest. I'm way too big of a cat person to not pick Litten <3

It's definitely the least ugly.

 

[BlueBadger]

It's definitely the least ugly.

LMAO. I agree with you there. I actually think the grass starter is kind of cute as well. I really, really dislike that water one though.. I find it sort of hideous IMO !

I'm sorry if I offend anybody with that opinion :'(

 

[RatskyWatsky]

shitten could never

 

[Deleted member 465307]

It's definitely the least ugly.

LMAO. I agree with you there. I actually think the grass starter is kind of cute as well. I really, really dislike that water one though.. I find it sort of hideous IMO !

I'm sorry if I offend anybody with that opinion :'(

I couldn't call Rowlet ugly. In my metric of cuteness where the closer to Kirby you are the better, Rowlet is pretty darn cute. Also, owls are great and so are bowties. My first reaction to Popplio was not a positive one, though. It has since grown on me, partially thanks to its art. Perhaps it will help you, too:

shitten could never

A baguette? Why??? That made me laugh a lot.

Also, Shitten is a good name. The only one I thought of using was Pooplio, but I have faith it has a good soul and does not deserve my hate. Even if I dragged it very hard earlier today. I am now Pokénlightened.

 

[Mostmanlyman]

shitten could never

Ahhhhh thats great.

 

[Crayons]

Me when someone asks which pokemon I'll choose

I have a date on Tuesday and I'm looking forward to it. He said he wants to kiss me and grab my butt

 

[Vazra]

He said he wants to kiss me and grab my butt

And people say romance is dead.

 

[Berordn]

I have a date on Tuesday and I'm looking forward to it. He said he wants to kiss me and grab my butt

i mean, if anything were going to drag me out of the house that would probably be it

 

[Salarians]

.

 

[Mostmanlyman]

.

That amazing.

 

[Crayons]

And people say romance is dead.

i mean, if anything were going to drag me out of the house that would probably be it

haha right? I like that he didn't just send me a dick pic and spam me with weird shit. really made this guy stand out

& i love that dog pic rofl

 

[Dead Prince]

is he a real guy though