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LGBTQIA+ |OT8| PrEPare Yourself.

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D

dryuriev7777

Member
I have the opposite problem. I am so good at flirting but then it turns out I'm not as fun and interesting as I may originally seem and then disappointment sets in. This rings particularly true with me in regards to sex: I can usually handle things with finesse socially but sexually people will be lucky to even touch me, let alone see my super shitty sexual prowess. On top of that I have a small penis soooo... Im terrible at sex lol
 
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umop_3pisdn

Member
I just meant that being too controlled, or ambivalent, might be the cause. But if you actually are ambivalent, you aren't going to try to feel otherwise about it. But if you're being too self-controlled, maybe that's a habit that sends mixed messages, that could be changed. Or maybe they just don't vibe with your idiosyncrasies, which is something that happens to everyone.
 
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Androidsleeps

Member
So I met with a guy who I had a sort of "benefits" relationship with last night, we knew each other for a while and fooled around couple of times. However, things didn't go as well as I expected this time. I felt like I was forcing myself to enjoy it and failing miserably. I got tired after like 10 minutes and couldn't even "finish". I don't think I'm able to do hook-ups at this point...the thing is I'm crushing hard on someone who I may never be able to get with but I just can't get him outta my mind. This sucks.
 
R

RM8

Member
umop_3pisdn said:
I just meant that being too controlled, or ambivalent, might be the cause. But if you actually are ambivalent, you aren't going to try to feel otherwise about it. But if you're being too self-controlled, maybe that's a habit that sends mixed messages, that could be changed. Or maybe they just don't vibe with your idiosyncrasies, which is something that happens to everyone.
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I'm definitely too self controlled, or hopelessly shy when things get even slightly romantic / playful / etc. :( Just last Monday after spending a good part of the day with dude B, I looked directly into his eyes and couldn't keep it going because, jeez, he's 300% my type and I got embarrassed and awkwardly looked elsewhere. If this annoys me, the one doing it, then I guess it's one of those traits that makes people believe I'm just not worth their dating time.
 
A

Androidsleeps

Member
RM8 said:
I'm definitely too self controlled, or hopelessly shy when things get even slightly romantic / playful / etc. :( Just last Monday after spending a good part of the day with dude B, I looked directly into his eyes and couldn't keep it going because, jeez, he's 300% my type and I got embarrassed and awkwardly looked elsewhere. If this annoys me, the one doing it, then I guess it's one of those traits that makes people believe I'm just not worth their dating time.
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Literally me :(
 
B

Barrylocke

Member
RM8 said:
I think I make a good first impression, I've never had to ask for a second date, it's my date the one who does it. So something particularly terrible happens on the second to fourth dates that stop things to a halt, lol. So even thought it may appear like I'm just not very interested, I'm the one who actually has no idea why things ended abruptly :(

As for the guy I'm dating that is seemingly losing interest - I really don't know. The very first thing I told him (on Hornet, lol) is that I think he's cool / handsome or however you translate かっこいい lol. He was texting me so, so much and I made an effort to reply quickly, which I often stuck at. Oh well. And I really thought we clicked, going out with him is legit fun :[
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To be frank, a lot of guys in my experience (personal and heresay) seem to use some sort of physical response as a gauge if a guy likes them. This is why I asked if you actually desire to kiss, hold hands, sit closer to, etc with a guy that you like. If you do then I think you may serve well making a move to do so and see how they react. If they react negatively then pull back, and if it's positive then go for it. If you feel uncomfortable doing that, then maybe just ask them straightforwardly that you'd like to kiss them or hold their hand and see how they react
If it's a flat no, then...at least you know for sure.

If you DON'T desire to move forward like that even when you like a guy then this is honestly ok. There's not much to do then verbally express that you honestly enjoyed your time and would like to go out again soon. Then followup and, if they don't ask you for a date, ask them yourself. They may have been shy themselves and assumed that you weren't so interested. It happens! The main tricky part is if they give you some runaround because they're disinterested but don't want to be the one to say no. This sucks, and it takes time to see it through (or potential denials of people who are ACTUALLY busy) but those are the breaks of dating I suppose.
 
U

umop_3pisdn

Member
RM8 said:
I'm definitely too self controlled, or hopelessly shy when things get even slightly romantic / playful / etc. :( Just last Monday after spending a good part of the day with dude B, I looked directly into his eyes and couldn't keep it going because, jeez, he's 300% my type and I got embarrassed and awkwardly looked elsewhere. If this annoys me, the one doing it, then I guess it's one of those traits that makes people believe I'm just not worth their dating time.
Click to expand...

I think it's more the case that people don't like fretting over what the other person might be feeling, it tests a person's confidence and makes them feel vulnerable. In general I think people are most attracted to people whose emotions or reactions are sensible to them.

And I mean for that statement to carry a tinge of optimism, because I don't think it's that they believe you're "not worth their time", it's more that both of you feeling vulnerable and uncertain about it makes things difficult to stabilize. Though some people do like a challenge, and really enjoy the chase, and maybe those are the sorts of people to keep an eye out for. I think you still have to play along with them, though, it's just that in that case playing along is a game of hot-and-cold that they derive some enjoyment from. If that's how you tend to be in romance (simultaneously giving and withholding), and they get off on 'conquering' your resistance, it can be a lot of fun for both of you.

And I can relate to what you're saying, I'm pretty shy too.
 
R

RM8

Member
umop_3pisdn said:
I think it's more the case that people don't like fretting over what the other person might be feeling, it tests a person's confidence and makes them feel vulnerable. In general I think people are most attracted to people whose emotions or reactions are sensible to them.

And I mean for that statement to carry a tinge of optimism, because I don't think it's that they believe you're "not worth their time", it's more that both of you feeling vulnerable and uncertain about it makes things difficult to stabilize. Though some people do like a challenge, and really enjoy the chase, and maybe those are the sorts of people to keep an eye out for.

And I can relate to what you're saying, I'm pretty shy too.
Click to expand...
I'll see if I can salvage things with this guy by being more upfront :p And I'll try to make it super clear that I'm into him.

Barrylocke said:
To be frank, a lot of guys in my experience (personal and heresay) seem to use some sort of physical response as a gauge if a guy likes them. This is why I asked if you actually desire to kiss, hold hands, sit closer to, etc with a guy that you like. If you do then I think you may serve well making a move to do so and see how they react. If they react negatively then pull back, and if it's positive then go for it. If you feel uncomfortable doing that, then maybe just ask them straightforwardly that you'd like to kiss them or hold their hand and see how they react
If it's a flat no, then...at least you know for sure.

If you DON'T desire to move forward like that even when you like a guy then this is honestly ok. There's not much to do then verbally express that you honestly enjoyed your time and would like to go out again soon. Then followup and, if they don't ask you for a date, ask them yourself. They may have been shy themselves and assumed that you weren't so interested. It happens! The main tricky part is if they give you some runaround because they're disinterested but don't want to be the one to say no. This sucks, and it takes time to see it through (or potential denials of people who are ACTUALLY busy) but those are the breaks of dating I suppose.
Click to expand...
It's not that I don't want physical contact, but I really don't even know how to go about it when I'm dating. And it's doubly weird because people here don't hug or shake hands which weirds me out to no end when meeting with someone or when we're saying goodbye, lol. This guy, while I was showing him something on Google maps (we were looking for a coffee shop) got excessively close to me and it felt really nice, but I guess there was no way for me to, like, reciprocate other than not moving away from him, lol.
 
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RatskyWatsky

Hunky Nostradamus
Troubled Bat said:
I searched and found nothing. Wtf

Thank you!! You're my hero. :)
Click to expand...

7eOXmIp.gif
 
Majmun

Majmun

Member
My cousin loves having sex with women, but only falls in love with men.

I'm actually kind of jealous of his intersting sexuality.
 
T

T.O.P

Banned
hateradio said:
Outside of his car? In public
Click to expand...

Yup it was a really well hidden spot but still

Anyway, just got back from my second date, he was older, less hung and so less passionate that what he sold me on Grindr

Fuckin hell it was the most boring sex I've ever had

He also had a thing for liking everything damn cm on my body, had to rush home and take a shower asap

I also stopped at Mickeyds to get a milkshake, that's how depressing it was
 
T

T.O.P

Banned
Oh yes I forgot about that guy that gave me head a week ago and I later found out that he was a priest, he had a "Don" on his FB name, I thought it was some kind of weird fetish

Big mistake
 
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Ahasverus

Member
RobotNinjaHornets said:
I have never been on a date and I find the idea utterly terrifying
Click to expand...
It is terrifying.

You know what works for me? Have a normal, scary date, remain in good terms, continue but slowly fade communication with the other person the days next, then come back months later with a casual encounter with the same person, like, you wish him well on his birthday and let things go from there, you'll have your first real date, as now you are "acquaintances" and don't have to feign anymore. Wild sex ensues. If you're lucky.
 
A

Aarglefarg

Member
T.O.P said:
Oh yes I forgot about that guy that gave me head a week ago and I later found out that he was a priest, he had a "Don" on his FB name, I thought it was some kind of weird fetish

Big mistake
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I'm not certain what the mistake was, is he homophobic or is it weird because of the social role (I can't find the right words) or something else?
 
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RatskyWatsky

Hunky Nostradamus
Sai-kun said:
Hey y'all! :3 I recently completed my second ever EP and put it up for streaming/download on SoundCloud and Bandcamp. It's called 'Unearthed', and if you're into minimal techno/house at all, I'd definitely suggest giving it a listen!

It's ten tracks, the first seven of which are original compositions, tracks 8 and 9 are remixes I did of AlunaGeorge and A-WA (an israeli band who you should also be listening to), and the tenth is a collaboration between a GAFfer and myself.

You can stream it on SoundCloud here

You can stream it AND download it from Bandcamp here

I always hate doing self promo, especially unsolicited, but this album is something I've worked pretty hard on since around May, and I'm really happy with the results, and so excited to share it where I can :)
Click to expand...

real talk sis: your album is fucking great! I liked all of the songs (so chill!), but 2 and 6 were definitely my favorites~

you really made something to be proud of :)
 
K

Kevyt

Member
dryuriev7777 said:
I have the opposite problem. I am so good at flirting but then it turns out I'm not as fun and interesting as I may originally seem and then disappointment sets in. This rings particularly true with me in regards to sex: I can usually handle things with finesse socially but sexually people will be lucky to even touch me, let alone see my super shitty sexual prowess. On top of that I have a small penis soooo... Im terrible at sex lol
Click to expand...

One of my most enjoyable experiences as far as sex goes was with a guy who's really small. He's the smallest guy I've seen, and it was still pleasurable.

I don't think size matters that much if you're doing it right, and likewise chemistry and whatnot is more important tbf.
 
R

RobotNinjaHornets

Banned
Ahasverus said:
It is terrifying.

You know what works for me? Have a normal, scary date, remain in good terms, continue but slowly fade communication with the other person the days next, then come back months later with a casual encounter with the same person, like, you wish him well on his birthday and let things go from there, you'll have your first real date, as now you are "acquaintances" and don't have to feign anymore. Wild sex ensues. If you're lucky.
Click to expand...

Huh

Interesting

umop_3pisdn said:
Me neither tbh, I've just had dalliances that happened under informal circumstances.
Click to expand...

Literally all I've ever done is meet up with a guy off Grindr at 11 at night, go back to his flat and let shenanigans ensue. Anything where I have to hold a conversation for a decent length of time? Pls no
 
V

Vazra

irresponsible vagina leak
Flight delayed because of my health. Also the doctors actually dont know what it is since they see some dengue and also chicken pox. Should be this way for about 10 days or so
 
S

Sai-kun

Banned
RatskyWatsky said:
real talk sis: your album is fucking great! I liked all of the songs (so chill!), but 2 and 6 were definitely my favorites~

you really made something to be proud of :)
Click to expand...

this legit made my day. thank you so much for listening and for the feedback.

this music isn't something i really make for the sake of other people, but it makes me really happy that other people can connect to it just like i do.

i am very proud of this work i've done, in the sense that i'm both proud to have created something from nothing and taken it to completion, and and proud to have created something that you can listen to and enjoy! <3 <3 <3

I'm definitely on a little break from producing, but I already have a fewwww ideas for the next album!!
 
B

Blood Diamonds

Banned
I ordered a PS3 controller and it took forever to get here and now it's here but the car isn't here so I can't go pick it up and it's friday so I can't pick up stuff on saturday and sunday which means I have to wait till Monday when I have a test for my Psychology class :)

god is dead :)
 
D

dryuriev7777

Member
Seath said:
One of my most enjoyable experiences as far as sex goes was with a guy who's really small. He's the smallest guy I've seen, and it was still pleasurable.

I don't think size matters that much if you're doing it right, and likewise chemistry and whatnot is more important tbf.
Click to expand...

I realize a lot of it is in my head. I've never had a guy complain or say anything about my size or my prowess, but even if they felt that way I was never clued into it. I've also mostly been a bottom, so that may attribute to nobody complaining.

Honestly, I've had 5 partners in my life and I've had sex with them numerous times but I don't think I've ever had sex where I've been comfortable. I mean I don't think it's really a lack of chemistry, they were all guys I really enjoyed being with and outside of sex I felt really comfortable with them. Even then most of them were really good during sex and they were cool with my trepidation, they asked questions, checked in on me during sex, made sure they got explicit consent multiple times, they make sure I climax, etc. I mean I'm a sexual guy and I do want to have sex and putting on a show for people doesn't bother me, but the second someone starts moving their hand up my inner thigh or talks dirty in my ear my body and my mind just nope nope nopes out of it.

This is turning into more of a therapy session than I intended lol. Fret not for I shall still take everyone out on a lovely gentlemanly date.
 
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RobotNinjaHornets

Banned
Seath said:
Huh? That's interesting
Click to expand...
~*~Social Anxiety~*~

It's alright if I'm part of a group, especially with people I know, since I can just be sarcastic from the sidelines which is &#127775;my&#11088;forte&#127775;, but when it's one on one I quite often go blank and panic and end up in a cycle of thinking that I should think of something to say. The pills I'm on have helped a lot, but that fear is still there

Why's it interesting Seathie? :3
 
C

CornBurrito

Member
I feel like this coworker of mine is giving me mixed signals.

I always got the feeling she didn't like me. Today I complimented her jacket (a beautiful shade of dark green), and then she gave it to me. Like... asked me what size I wore, told me to try it on, and then said I could have it. Insisted I have it actually.

RobotNinjaHornets said:
~*~Social Anxiety~*~

It's alright if I'm part of a group, especially with people I know, since I can just be sarcastic from the sidelines which is &#55356;&#57119;my&#11088;forte&#55356;&#57119;, but when it's one on one I quite often go blank and panic and end up in a cycle of thinking that I should think of something to say. The pills I'm on have helped a lot, but that fear is still there

Why's it interesting Seathie? :3
Click to expand...

I'm so the opposite. I can handle 1 on 1. I collapse in group settings.
 
U

umop_3pisdn

Member
RobotNinjaHornets said:
Literally all I've ever done is meet up with a guy off Grindr at 11 at night, go back to his flat and let shenanigans ensue. Anything where I have to hold a conversation for a decent length of time? Pls no
Click to expand...

For me it's like I meet someone through a mutual friend or a class I'm taking or something (basically by accident) and then I like them for a while until I realize that I don't like them enough to rearrange my priorities for them, or they for me.

But that's maybe because most of the time the people I've been involved with have kind of been losers. I suspect if I really liked someone I'd change my priorities for them. But that seems kind of unlikely to happen since I'm just not motivated enough to actively try to meet people. I sometimes get the urge to date/try to meet someone, but it lasts like a week and then is gone.
 
Astral Dog

Astral Dog

Member
CornBurrito said:
I feel like this coworker of mine is giving me mixed signals.

I always got the feeling she didn't like me. Today I complimented her jacket (a beautiful shade of dark green), and then she gave it to me. Like... asked me what size I wore, told me to try it on, and then said I could have it. Insisted I have it actually.



I'm so the opposite. I can handle 1 on 1. I collapse in group settings.
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aww, you got a new green jacket, maybe she actually hated it.
pics
 
J

JCX

Member
dryuriev7777 said:
I have bought myself a family size bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon. I'm getting an extra $400 bonus in my paycheck tomorrow. Plans have been cemented with the gathering of friends this weekend. Let us all hope that one of my friends brings his friend that I met once and he's kinda dorky but suuuuuper cute and maybe we'll start talking and then I'll say something terrible and/or barf spaghetti while talking to him and ruin the whole mood and then I'll jerk off later to thoughts of what could have been.

It's gonna be a good weekend.

Edit: I just realized that our avatars go well together, JCX! It's a match made in heaven lets date then get married then adopt a few puppies then we'll both feel like we rushed into things and I'll be slightly bitter and then we can get a divorce but I'm taking 2 of the 3 puppies with me.
Click to expand...

Let's do it. Iconic avatar taste tbh.

First time on a third date tonight. Real nervous slash excited.
 
R

RatskyWatsky

Hunky Nostradamus
Seath said:
One of my most enjoyable experiences as far as sex goes was with a guy who's really small. He's the smallest guy I've seen, and it was still pleasurable.
Click to expand...

deets

Vazra said:
Flight delayed because of my health. Also the doctors actually dont know what it is since they see some dengue and also chicken pox. Should be this way for about 10 days or so
Click to expand...

um google says denue is 'very rare'. wtf gurl drink some liquids

Sai-kun said:
this legit made my day. thank you so much for listening and for the feedback.

this music isn't something i really make for the sake of other people, but it makes me really happy that other people can connect to it just like i do.

i am very proud of this work i've done, in the sense that i'm both proud to have created something from nothing and taken it to completion, and and proud to have created something that you can listen to and enjoy! <3 <3 <3

I'm definitely on a little break from producing, but I already have a fewwww ideas for the next album!!
Click to expand...

it was a pleasure! truly

it must be an amazing feeling :) I'm looking forward to whatever you do next~ <3

Crayons said:
I love being gay.
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how come
 
H

Henchmen21

Banned
Seath said:
One of my most enjoyable experiences as far as sex goes was with a guy who's really small. He's the smallest guy I've seen, and it was still pleasurable.

I don't think size matters that much if you're doing it right, and likewise chemistry and whatnot is more important tbf.
Click to expand...

So by Gaf standards he was only 10 inches?
 
C

Crayons

Banned
RatskyWatsky said:
how come
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Idk. I think I'm really starting to understand "gay pride". It took a long time, but not only do I feel comfortable in my own skin, but I love being gay. 2016 is an amazing time to be gay. We've made so much progress, (we still have further to go), but wow. Whenever I learn a singer or author or politician is gay, I'm just really happy to see - it reminds me that we aren't invisible. We're here and we're queer.

:)
 
K

Kevyt

Member
Crayons said:
I love being gay.
Click to expand...

Not I. I do wish I was straight...

Crayons said:
Idk. I think I'm really starting to understand "gay pride". It took a long time, but not only do I feel comfortable in my own skin, but I love being gay. 2016 is an amazing time to be gay. We've made so much progress, (we still have further to go), but wow. Whenever I learn a singer or author or politician is gay, I'm just really happy to see - it reminds me that we aren't invisible. We're here and we're queer.

:)
Click to expand...

Same, but at the same time, on a very personal level, this has come with a great price to pay. I was just thinking about it today and if I want to have a serious relationship with another man I will have to cut off a lot of people from my life including my parents. That's not something I'm really looking forward to it.

I just wish I didn't have to choose between the two. I:
 
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