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LGBTQIA+ |OT8| PrEPare Yourself.

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B

brainchild

Banned
Bayonetta said:
27
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Well, you definitely need to find a way to get them to budge on the 'not letting my adult child stay outside for too long' issue because it's not healthy and can actually start to have detrimental effects. I understand that it's not your fault, but it's something that you're gonna need to start fighting for. It's a basic human right.

Also, if job opportunities are limited in your area, you may want to see if you can make money online with an internet based job or work from home.

Being self-sufficient is a CRUCIAL component to adulthood and your parents really, really need to understand this.
 
V

Vazra

irresponsible vagina leak
brainchild said:
Well, you definitely need to find a way to get them to budge on the 'not letting my adult child stay outside for too long' issue because it's not healthy and can actually start to have detrimental effects. I understand that it's not your fault, but it's something that you're gonna need to start fighting for. It's a basic human right.

Also, if job opportunities are limited in your area, you may want to see if you can make money online with an internet based job or work from home.

Being self-sufficient is a CRUCIAL component to adulthood and your parents really, really need to understand this.
Click to expand...

I have been talking with them of that issue for years but they go into the whole my house my rules. Also I feel they are being more harsher on me than my brother because I'm gay and maybe they are adding more worries on their heads than they should since I think I should be able to know what is good or bad for me and I'm an a well educated adult if I may say that myself. My brother gets to go out and stay out really late (they still call him if its 2 or 3am) but if I go out they don't want me back around 10pm-12am which if Im going out at night I pretty much have to decline invitations from a friend that tries hanging out with me. In a way I feel that if I had a job like my brother where Im paying bills in the house maybe they would treat me the same as my brother but also since I had the car accident November 2014 they are being extra with letting me go out alone.

As for the effects I'm starting to become uncomfortable when going out and dealing with large crowds. I wasn't a social butterfly by any means but I interacted more with people around than what I do now. I'm trying to go out more but as far as I can go without my parents complaining is my local mall which doesn't really have any stores of my interest or the local beach which while nice is not a place I would go too often. (There is not a lot of places to go in this city) If I go out with my brother they don't have an issues with me staying out late but I don't like the idea of having to drag my brother when he doesn't have to and he has probably other things he rather be doing.

I really hope something shows up soon that pays decently enough to move out or at least help paying the bills so they ease up on me with the whole going out issue.
 
A

Aarglefarg

Member
Crayons said:
that really awkward moment when you have no job and your parents think you get your money from selling your body
Click to expand...
To probably get more awkward, didn't you mention ages and ages ago there being a creepy older internet guy years ago gifting things? If they knew about that then maybe it's a related concern?

A few years ago my mum judgementally asked me if I'd been having sex with heaps of men, when I hadn't had sex with men (or at all) in years. The reason she asked was because I was going to a doctor for a common butt issue. :(
 
D

Delio

Member
brainchild said:
Honestly? This is absolutely normal for anyone who doesn't engage in a lot of physical or social activities on at least a semi-frequent basis. The older you get, the more obvious it becomes.

Go hiking, do some volunteer work, join a chess club, pick up golfing, etc. and those symptoms should happen less often. It would probably be good to see what kinds of things there are to do in your area. You never know, you might surprise yourself!
Click to expand...

I should take a class. Anything to get me out of the house.
 
B

brainchild

Banned
Bayonetta said:
I have been talking with them of that issue for years but they go into the whole my house my rules. Also I feel they are being more harsher on me than my brother because I'm gay and maybe they are adding more worries on their heads than they should since I think I should be able to know what is good or bad for me and I'm an a well educated adult if I may say that myself. My brother gets to go out and stay out really late (they still call him if its 2 or 3am) but if I go out they don't want me back around 10pm-12am which if Im going out at night I pretty much have to decline invitations from a friend that tries hanging out with me. In a way I feel that if I had a job like my brother where Im paying bills in the house maybe they would treat me the same as my brother but also since I had the car accident November 2014 they are being extra with letting me go out alone.

As for the effects I'm starting to become uncomfortable when going out and dealing with large crowds. I wasn't a social butterfly by any means but I interacted more with people around than what I do now. I'm trying to go out more but as far as I can go without my parents complaining is my local mall which doesn't really have any stores of my interest or the local beach which while nice is not a place I would go too often. (There is not a lot of places to go in this city) If I go out with my brother they don't have an issues with me staying out late but I don't like the idea of having to drag my brother when he doesn't have to and he has probably other things he rather be doing.

I really hope something shows up soon that pays decently enough to move out or at least help paying the bills so they ease up on me with the whole going out issue.
Click to expand...

That's really unfortunate. I hope your situation gets better soon, and at the very least, you find somewhere else that you could stay.

Delio said:
I should take a class. Anything to get me out of the house.
Click to expand...

Good idea!
 
Monocle

Monocle

Member
brainchild said:
Honestly? This is absolutely normal for anyone who doesn't engage in a lot of physical or social activities on at least a semi-frequent basis. The older you get, the more obvious it becomes.

Go hiking, do some volunteer work, join a chess club, pick up golfing, etc. and those symptoms should happen less often. It would probably be good to see what kinds of things there are to do in your area. You never know, you might surprise yourself!
Click to expand...
Yep, all of this.
 
V

Vazra

irresponsible vagina leak
kitchenmotors said:
Also in my own experience, and not as a stealth brag or anything, but guys have been fascinated by the thickness.
Click to expand...

whitney_receipts.gif
 
Casanova

Casanova

Member
kitchenmotors said:
I think part of it is the opposite of what they might have, like being uncut. Also in my own experience, and not as a stealth brag or anything, but guys have been fascinated by the thickness.
Click to expand...

I'm a guy, and as such, I want to be fascinated by the thickness as well. Lol

You better believe I want in on the next Skype..
 
K

Kater

Banned
Casanova said:
I'm a guy, and as such, I want to be fascinated by the thickness as well. Lol

You better believe I want in on the next Skype..
Click to expand...

The next one? There's an existing group chat (most of the time just used for text chat) if you mean that.

If you or anyone else want an invite, me and other people here can invite you
 
Casanova

Casanova

Member
Kater said:
The next one? There's an existing group chat (most of the time just used for text chat) if you mean that.

If you or anyone else want an invite, me and other people here can invite you
Click to expand...

I'm not sure what exactly it is, I just heard mention of it as proof of the thickness. Lol
 
Z

Zalasta

Member
BeesEight said:
Where are these straight men?!
Click to expand...

Rare but they are out there. I've mentioned before I've been dating a straight bodybuilder for almost 2 months. At first he wanted something casual because he is still interested in asking women out. I was ok with it since we're long distance and he's straight after all. However, after spending a week and 3 weekends together so far, he now considers us exclusive. In a recent conversation, he said he still feels no attraction to men in general despite being in a relationship with me, which is fine with me, I'm not looking to change him nor to turn him gay. Anyway, he surprised me by kissing me in public, so I'm quite certain this is a guy who is confident about his own sexuality and not confused about what he likes and doesn't like.
 
B

brainchild

Banned
Zalasta said:
Rare but they are out there. I've mentioned before I've been dating a straight bodybuilder for almost 2 months. At first he wanted something casual because he is still interested in asking women out. I was ok with it since we're long distance and he's straight after all. However, after spending a week and 3 weekends together so far, he now considers us exclusive. In a recent conversation, he said he still feels no attraction to men in general despite being in a relationship with me, which is fine with me, I'm not looking to change him nor to turn him gay. Anyway, he surprised me by kissing me in public, so I'm quite certain this is a guy who is confident about his own sexuality and not confused about what he likes and doesn't like.
Click to expand...

Sounds like a sexually fluid guy who likes a healthy dose of homoeroticism. Not gay, but I wouldn't consider that purely straight either.

EDIT:

And he may not be confused about his sexuality, but he might also not be sure how to categorize it.

He could simply be emotionally homosexual but not sexually attracted to men.
 
O

Omegasquash

Member
Bayonetta said:
I have been talking with them of that issue for years but they go into the whole my house my rules. Also I feel they are being more harsher on me than my brother because I'm gay and maybe they are adding more worries on their heads than they should since I think I should be able to know what is good or bad for me and I'm an a well educated adult if I may say that myself. My brother gets to go out and stay out really late (they still call him if its 2 or 3am) but if I go out they don't want me back around 10pm-12am which if Im going out at night I pretty much have to decline invitations from a friend that tries hanging out with me. In a way I feel that if I had a job like my brother where Im paying bills in the house maybe they would treat me the same as my brother but also since I had the car accident November 2014 they are being extra with letting me go out alone.

As for the effects I'm starting to become uncomfortable when going out and dealing with large crowds. I wasn't a social butterfly by any means but I interacted more with people around than what I do now. I'm trying to go out more but as far as I can go without my parents complaining is my local mall which doesn't really have any stores of my interest or the local beach which while nice is not a place I would go too often. (There is not a lot of places to go in this city) If I go out with my brother they don't have an issues with me staying out late but I don't like the idea of having to drag my brother when he doesn't have to and he has probably other things he rather be doing.

I really hope something shows up soon that pays decently enough to move out or at least help paying the bills so they ease up on me with the whole going out issue.
Click to expand...

Obviously late to respond on this, but taking a look at this compels me to jump in. A couple of things, here, and forgive me for my ignorance on background, qualifications, etc.

1) Job - Crucial, but not for parental approval...you're 27. This is for you. It's a way to get out of the house every day, start pulling in money, and start contributing.

2) Save - It's a massive demonstrator and proof of ability to yourself - again, not the parents - that you're your own person, and accountable to yourself, complete with goals, targets, etc. It'll also make it easier to make a down payment or deposit on something.

3) Contribute FAIRLY - That doesn't mean that you need to pay out 1/4 of the mortgage, real estate taxes, or whatever else. Chip in on the bills, like cable. Chip in on a family cell phone plan if you have one. Chip in on little things around the house. Light bulb gone out? Replace it with an LED or something. Table got a loose leg? Take a look and fix it. Contributions don't have to be monetary, and in making them, you're PARTICIPATING in the household upkeep/maintenance. That COUNTS, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If your ass is washing the dishes, then that's something the fam isn't doing, you know?

My rough estimate is that, if you save aggressively once you get a job, you're looking at about a year before you can find a place of your own, or at least a place that's not "home". A few months of whipping tail on things is more than enough of a foundation for you to say "Look ma/pa, I'm working hard, I'm responsible, and I'm dying to get out with some friends and be social before I'm 30. I'll be back safely, but I need to prove that to you, so please, let me prove it." You're not asking to go out, you're asking for the opportunity to demonstrate that you're a responsible adult, that can do responsible adult things.

Sorry for the excessively long post. Just seems to me that there are clear steps and keys to success that, once you've got 'em, you'll just enjoy the ride.
 
B

BeesEight

Member
Casanova said:
I'm a guy, and as such, I want to be fascinated by the thickness as well. Lol

You better believe I want in on the next Skype..
Click to expand...

Gaygaf Skype. You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

Zalasta said:
Rare but they are out there. I've mentioned before I've been dating a straight bodybuilder for almost 2 months. At first he wanted something casual because he is still interested in asking women out. I was ok with it since we're long distance and he's straight after all. However, after spending a week and 3 weekends together so far, he now considers us exclusive. In a recent conversation, he said he still feels no attraction to men in general despite being in a relationship with me, which is fine with me, I'm not looking to change him nor to turn him gay. Anyway, he surprised me by kissing me in public, so I'm quite certain this is a guy who is confident about his own sexuality and not confused about what he likes and doesn't like.
Click to expand...

Hm... yeah. That doesn't sound straight.

Though, to be fair to your boyfriend, none of these guys sound straight. Also, I have no idea how you date someone that professes no attraction but if he kissed you maybe there's the possibility for more?
 
P

Pamplemousse

Member
Zalasta said:
Rare but they are out there. I've mentioned before I've been dating a straight bodybuilder for almost 2 months. At first he wanted something casual because he is still interested in asking women out. I was ok with it since we're long distance and he's straight after all. However, after spending a week and 3 weekends together so far, he now considers us exclusive. In a recent conversation, he said he still feels no attraction to men in general despite being in a relationship with me, which is fine with me, I'm not looking to change him nor to turn him gay. Anyway, he surprised me by kissing me in public, so I'm quite certain this is a guy who is confident about his own sexuality and not confused about what he likes and doesn't like.
Click to expand...
Yeah, that's not straight.
 
V

Vazra

irresponsible vagina leak
Omegasquash said:
Obviously late to respond on this, but taking a look at this compels me to jump in. A couple of things, here, and forgive me for my ignorance on background, qualifications, etc.

1) Job - Crucial, but not for parental approval...you're 27. This is for you. It's a way to get out of the house every day, start pulling in money, and start contributing.

2) Save - It's a massive demonstrator and proof of ability to yourself - again, not the parents - that you're your own person, and accountable to yourself, complete with goals, targets, etc. It'll also make it easier to make a down payment or deposit on something.

3) Contribute FAIRLY - That doesn't mean that you need to pay out 1/4 of the mortgage, real estate taxes, or whatever else. Chip in on the bills, like cable. Chip in on a family cell phone plan if you have one. Chip in on little things around the house. Light bulb gone out? Replace it with an LED or something. Table got a loose leg? Take a look and fix it. Contributions don't have to be monetary, and in making them, you're PARTICIPATING in the household upkeep/maintenance. That COUNTS, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If your ass is washing the dishes, then that's something the fam isn't doing, you know?

My rough estimate is that, if you save aggressively once you get a job, you're looking at about a year before you can find a place of your own, or at least a place that's not "home". A few months of whipping tail on things is more than enough of a foundation for you to say "Look ma/pa, I'm working hard, I'm responsible, and I'm dying to get out with some friends and be social before I'm 30. I'll be back safely, but I need to prove that to you, so please, let me prove it." You're not asking to go out, you're asking for the opportunity to demonstrate that you're a responsible adult, that can do responsible adult things.

Sorry for the excessively long post. Just seems to me that there are clear steps and keys to success that, once you've got 'em, you'll just enjoy the ride.
Click to expand...


I'm sending my CV and filling up job applications for a lot of places some that I'm not even qualified or wouldn't be interested in a few years ago but the situation here is basically that a lot of places are closing down or shrinking staff. For example all Gamestops are leaving the Island, Best Buy seems to be going on the same route and Walmart seems to be in a legal issue that might end up with them leaving the island. It's not only retail stores the ones getting closed too so you are starting to see a lot of people unemployed around the Island

As for contributing on the house when I was working was basically one check for me and one for the house so I contributed to the house monthly when I had a job. Right now I got food stamps so I guess in a way that is helping but clearly not enough and I'm at home doing nothing but filling up online applications and some days I go to warehouses and other places that dont do the applications online to leave my CV. Not a single call has happened on that time.

My parents have been talking about sending me to US to look for jobs since things here sadly seem like a sinking ship but economically speaking at the moment it is not feasible to send me yet without the right amount of savings to have a back up. I do have family in Florida, Washington and NY so I got some places I could stay while I find something and if certain amount of weeks or months I dont find anything I should have some savings to return.

As for the situation of going out no one is really safe on that and in part I understand why cause they worry and then they cant sleep until we're home. My brother since he pretty much is helping with a lot of the bills they are easier on him but he still has to be home around certain time. Im pretty sure once I get a steady job I should be able to solve some of the main issues I have fairly easily. Afterall without money I can't do much and some of the other things can be eased up with that.
 
K

kitchenmotors

Banned
Pamplemousse said:
Yeah, that's not straight.
Click to expand...

In my experience with my straight friend who I had an exclusive sexual relationship with for a while, sexuality isn't black and white. When I was young and naive I felt it was, he was either gay or bi if we were having sex, but turns out I was the only guy he was sexually attracted to because of our friendship and experiences we had together.

Going with the flow is fine as long as expectations aren't high, and I never expected a relationship out of him.
 
G

Grakl

Member
kitchenmotors said:
In my experience with my straight friend who I had an exclusive sexual relationship with for a while, sexuality isn't black and white. When I was young and naive I felt it was, he was either gay or bi if we were having sex, but turns out I was the only guy he was sexually attracted to because of our friendship and experiences we had together.

Going with the flow is fine as long as expectations aren't high, and I never expected a relationship out of him.
Click to expand...
Right, it's not black and white, he's just kinda bi
 
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