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LGBTQIA+ |OT8| PrEPare Yourself.
- Thread starter Vazra
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Pamplemousse
Member
I agree with you, but I think it's a spectrum like the guy with the NDT avatar said. I don't think anyone is at the extreme end of either side, deep down.
Casanova
Member
Without meaning to sound abrasive, I just just wanted to spill my first thoughts on this straight dude conversation:
We have to acknowledge that there are a ton of guys out there who are simply unwilling to come out even to themselves on the matter of sexuality. He falls somewhere leftish on the spectrum of sexuality if he is having sex with dudes more than once... and especially if he is in a relationship with a dude - regardless of intercourse, because as we all know, not all relationships involve sex in a traditional sense. It's just that there is obviously some emotional and/or sexual attraction to people other than strictly female gender-identifying women; which makes him anything but "straight", in my opinion.
We have to acknowledge that there are a ton of guys out there who are simply unwilling to come out even to themselves on the matter of sexuality. He falls somewhere leftish on the spectrum of sexuality if he is having sex with dudes more than once... and especially if he is in a relationship with a dude - regardless of intercourse, because as we all know, not all relationships involve sex in a traditional sense. It's just that there is obviously some emotional and/or sexual attraction to people other than strictly female gender-identifying women; which makes him anything but "straight", in my opinion.
Pamplemousse
Member
But people can be stupid. He should be saying that he's mostly straight but might occasionally be open to same-sex experiences.
kitchenmotors
Banned
I think you can be a straight guy and still have sex with men. If I decided I wanted to have sex with a woman, that wouldn't make me bi, I just think people should be more open with their sexuality and shouldn't have to label everything.
Dead Prince
Banned
this.
brainchild
Banned
He could be demisexual. Regardless, he's not straight.
You can, but that's clearly not what's happening with your friend. His attraction seems to be squarely in the confines of demisexuality. But that's OK, not a lot of people know about it, so I can't fault him for considering himself to be straight.
Casanova
Member
Well, that's my point - "straight" is a label that is pretty unrealistic. If he's having sex with men then that means that, by definition, he is not "straight". He can be "straight" all he wants to in his own head, but he's not "straight" by standard definition - meaning, of course, that he only is interested in women, emotionally or physically.
brainchild
Banned
Yeah, these are categorical terms, not merely opinion. Of course, it could take some time to figure out where you are on the spectrum, but in this case, we definitely know where he isn't, assuming the information regarding their relationship is true.
Henchmen21
Banned
Nope sorry. You can't have sex with men and then say you're straight. Guys like that want to have their cake and eat it too. They want to have sex with men but don't want to deal with the negative consequences of being bi/gay (i.e. homophobia etc...) that we have to deal with everyday. It's cowardly imo.
Also, morning gaygaf.
Also, morning gaygaf.
kitchenmotors
Banned
I actually like the term fluid sexuality, as I find sexuality changes for some people based on based on the time and place of their experiences.
But the problem with this is that people will throw out that people aren't born gay or whatever their sexual identity is. Labels suck but I've been gay for as long as I can remember. It's a tricky subject and a slippery slope.
I don't agree at all and I think that you can't really comment on the subject to this extent unless you've dealt with it personally. The guys I have known in these situations aren't trying to be cowardly or not deal with the social ramifications of being gay.
This viewpoint makes it seem like they're doing nothing but using the person they're involved with, when it takes two to tango. I definitely wasn't used in these situations.
A good movie on this subject is Chasing Amy. One of my favorite movies ever.
Casanova
Member
He can be as sexually fluid as he wants (in fact, I encourage it!), but if that is the case then it is not fair or logical to try and convince yourself - or others who you are sexually involved with - that you are "straight".
I can call myself a flying penguin as much as I want, but that doesn't make me an actual flying penguin. I am, in fact, a horse - and I act like a horse, and I do horse things with other horses.
Heehee, in all honesty, I understand how this is an endless debate, I just thought I would interject a little bit with my own opinion ^_^
brainchild
Banned
Just because a person isn't 100% straight, it doesn't mean that they can't be attracted to the opposite sex. Bisexual people and sexually fluid people can be attracted to both, but neither group is purely straight.
Omegasquash
Member
Whatever he calls himself, he calls himself. If folks want to scratch their heads over it, that's fine. Applying titles to someone versus letting them identify is kind of shaky, I think.
And remember too that the guy may be struggling with acceptance at a personal and/or social level. Him walking on a certain path doesn't necessarily define him, however I don't get the impression that he's denying anything, especially since he kissed you in public.
Glad you aren't feeling like you're being used, and by all means continue to have fun.
And remember too that the guy may be struggling with acceptance at a personal and/or social level. Him walking on a certain path doesn't necessarily define him, however I don't get the impression that he's denying anything, especially since he kissed you in public.
Glad you aren't feeling like you're being used, and by all means continue to have fun.
kitchenmotors
Banned
It is an endless debate but it's nice to hear experiences from other people regarding this topic.
Personal definition is the only thing that matters tbh. Are you gonna quote a dictionary at someone every time they say they're 'bi' but are also into trans-, queer, and non-binary people?
Look, like I said the first time, I'm not interested in debating labels. In fact, my boyfriend have no problem considering himself as bisexual because he firmly believes everyone is bisexual to some degree. I am the one that hesitate to call him that because he still prefers women and have no attraction to any men but me (nor is he looking to form any emotional attachment or romantic feelings with men). So call him whatever you want, it won't change the fact that he has no interest in guys.
EDIT: I do agree that he's not 100% straight. However, given the choice between straight and bi, the fact is he is more straight than bi, so that's what I consider him as until his preferences change.
EDIT: I do agree that he's not 100% straight. However, given the choice between straight and bi, the fact is he is more straight than bi, so that's what I consider him as until his preferences change.
I think I saw the term for this the other day: demisexual
Probably mixed with a willingness to experiment, maybe 1.5 on the Kinsey scale.
Probably mixed with a willingness to experiment, maybe 1.5 on the Kinsey scale.
Mostmanlyman
Member
Whats the kinsey scale i have seen that mentioned a few times?
Mostmanlyman
Member
Oh ok makes sense thanks.
I got a 3 which is pretty much what i thought.
brainchild
Banned
As long as these are minority groups, our community needs to promote awareness of these various groups so that they can get the resources and support that they need. You can't really do that when you advocate for trivializing demographics. So in this case, it is important for the labels to be clearly defined, even if people choose not to personally adopt them.
Well based on that information, your boyfriend is probably allosexual towards women, and demisexual towards men. And I hate to break it to you, but you probably won't be the only guy that he's ever attracted to in his lifetime, even if he doesn't realize this yet.
Demisexual people are only sexually attracted to other people AFTER they have established an emotional bond with that person first. This is probably how your boyfriend became attracted to you. However, no level of attraction is monogamous. If he's not sexually attracted to any other male, it's probably because they don't connect with him on an emotional level like you do.
Predominantly straight, then, but he still pursued and enjoyed sex with someone of his same gender. He's a bit bi IMO, he might just overwhelmingly prefer women.
I understand the dislike for labels, but words have meaning, and being bi is not a bad thing, nor does it require you to be equally attracted to men and women.
Omegasquash
Member
Three here, too. I question the relevancy of the last question...sexually submissive. Not sure what that would have to do with where you land on a scale of sexuality, but I admit ignorance of the subject to a large degree.
Mostmanlyman
Member
Yeah it was an odd question, the rest make sense. Like if you gay or straight you can totally be submissive, being submissive doesnt matter on your sexuality.
Oh, I think people can describe themselves however they want. I mean, on an individual level, self-identification is the only thing that matters. The issue with the whole gay/straight dichotomy is that, I feel, it creates strict labels or stereotypes that prevent people from being able to either explore or be more open about themselves.
I feel, in an ideal world, most people would be comfortable identifying as bisexual. And not in the classic "half sex with men, half with women" ideal but that sex and sexuality is a complex thing and, you know, sometimes you're just going to feel a personal connection with someone you didn't expect to.
For my literal mind, however, feelings are too ephemeral for a general classification. The subjectivity makes it an incredibly imprecise tool. Take pain, for example. One person's excruciating is another person's mild irritant. Even something that is a seven or an eight pain scale rating for a person one day can be almost half of that another. It's why I prefer a more behavioural approach to classification--as thorny as that is on its own. But, then again, we start getting back to my ideal world.
I mean, hell, I identify as gay even though I'd actually consider myself bi. But it's just easier to communicate to people (amongst other reasons).
Blood Diamonds
Banned
You ever have a class with a really just like beautiful guy and like you think you'll get used to his face and body as time goes on but like it doesn't happen and you're always like "holy shit holy fucking shit please [redacted]"
TheAbsolution
Member
brainchild
Banned
Yes, when I was much younger. That happens less often the older I get.
Good. Got a doctors appointment in a few hours, but other than that I'll be chilling for the rest of the day.
How 'bout yourself?
All the time.
charmed699
Neo Member
Plenty of information to process since I last checked this thread. The Kinsey Scale test says I'm "exclusively homosexual". I do find some girls attractive, but I'm not sure I would ever be able to have sex with one.
I quite like how my hair looks today. Getting better at using product.
I quite like how my hair looks today. Getting better at using product.
brainchild
Banned
Plenty of information to process since I last checked this thread. The Kinsey Scale test says I'm "exclusively homosexual". I do find some girls attractive, but I'm not sure I would ever be able to have sex with one.
I quite like how my hair looks today. Getting better at using product.
Why so serious?
cute pic
F - The test failed to match you to a Kinsey Type profile. Either you answered some questions wrong, or you are a very unusual person.
Great, now online quizzes are telling me I'm weird.
Plenty of information to process since I last checked this thread. The Kinsey Scale test says I'm "exclusively homosexual". I do find some girls attractive, but I'm not sure I would ever be able to have sex with one.
I quite like how my hair looks today. Getting better at using product.
I go the same result. Maybe we are meant for each other!
Kidding unless you don't mind that is
Omegasquash
Member
Pretty good. Rest day from the gym in preparation for leg day tomorrow. Mother in law is on vacation for the weekend so that means being able to sit in my boxers in the living room and do less dishes, as well as be an adult with my wife after the kids go to bed.
A few contracts have gone out today and I expect them back shortly. I also found out that my wife wants to catch a bite with her sister, so I'm on kid detail this evening. Since it's school vacation week, I'm probably going to let my son stay up an extra half hour and work on a Lego project or two with him.
All told, not bad. You?
Yeah, it's a crappy test if you are looking to get to know yourself better. You are better off reading books on sexuality.
HappyPuppy
Member
I just got Street Fighter 5 to work on my laptop, anyone playing?
I'm a beginner and I'm learning so I'm really bad, scrub tier. Would like to play against a beginner.
Fighter ID: HappyPuppy
I'm a beginner and I'm learning so I'm really bad, scrub tier. Would like to play against a beginner.
Fighter ID: HappyPuppy
Via Purifico
Banned
I'll add you, my ID is the same as my name on here just an underscore.
Omegasquash
Member
Solid self examination is what helped me get over the hump in accepting myself. That was a day to remember.
There are a lot of things emotionally and sexually speaking not explored on the test. it hasn't been updated for other things that have come out recently that are there and even so if updated I feel it wouldn't cover things like it should considering how the test is.
Prototype Viktor
Member
that test knows what's up on a scale of 0 to 6 i got a 'F' : The test failed to match you to a Kinsey Type profile. Either you answered some questions wrong, or you are a very unusual person.
tho it's silly to have that as a possible result and too few broad questions anyway
tho it's silly to have that as a possible result and too few broad questions anyway
No, but it's fun to joke about.
Woo! Another F! We should start a club.
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