Carmel gelato and a movie that my SO chooses.
Outside of that work out+work on that day.
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LGBTQIA+ |OT9| The Return of the Queen
- Thread starter Sibylus
- Start date
Outside of that work out+work on that day.
Astral Dog
Member
Come on he doesn"t look that young :/
old enoughbto work as model
yes i searched him 
TenCentCoast
Banned
Being a bad girlfriend, probably. But in all seriousness I'm gonna get my SO a volume of Grayson and some chocolates.
Dude I'm a damn hard core Lesbo but that last pic is smoking hot.Come on he doesn"t look that young :/
yes i searched him
yes i searched him
Thank you <3
Thequietone
Member
Thanks. It's just I feel I do have something to show for my two degrees. I may not have a job yet that fully uses my skills but I feel the knowledge and critical thinking skills from my education are more important to me than any job. I am grateful to have the education that I have because I know many cannot afford or have access to it.
Astral Dog
Member
Thats what we all shall do more often,take pride in our education,knowledge and integrity instead of seeing degrees as pure tools to use in job hunting,climbing society or making money.
More people should at least respect that imo,but what are we going to do? 😟
Its very difficult and can't always be done
CornBurrito
Member
This dude I met at a party who is 16 years older than me told me to call him if I ever want to go on a date.
I'm thinking of setting up a valentines day date with him. On one hand, he's 16 years older than me. On the other hand, he's really handsome. And it wouldn't be a serious date.
I'm thinking of setting up a valentines day date with him. On one hand, he's 16 years older than me. On the other hand, he's really handsome. And it wouldn't be a serious date.
I need to ask, what makes one male, psychologically speaking? Or female, or anything else, for that matter.
I started wondering about that some time ago. I think i'm asexual (and aromantic to boot, so figuring out if i'm demi seems kinda difficult). So, i don't think i can say i'm male based on sexual preferences as there are none really. Biologically... well, i don't think that means much really. One doesn't define gender based on activities or other such material preferences.
I guess i could say i'm comfortable with my body but does even that mean much? I don't think so. Certainly doesn't seem to be enough of a reason to define myself as male.
Stripping these away... what does this leave me with? As far as i can say, being male seems to be learned thing. I tend to answer male when asked but then it seems completely irrelevant question in most contexts so i assume i basically default to what seems to be learned behavior. If i think about it, my first thought is "what the fuck does it matter?".
I started wondering about that some time ago. I think i'm asexual (and aromantic to boot, so figuring out if i'm demi seems kinda difficult). So, i don't think i can say i'm male based on sexual preferences as there are none really. Biologically... well, i don't think that means much really. One doesn't define gender based on activities or other such material preferences.
I guess i could say i'm comfortable with my body but does even that mean much? I don't think so. Certainly doesn't seem to be enough of a reason to define myself as male.
Stripping these away... what does this leave me with? As far as i can say, being male seems to be learned thing. I tend to answer male when asked but then it seems completely irrelevant question in most contexts so i assume i basically default to what seems to be learned behavior. If i think about it, my first thought is "what the fuck does it matter?".
Go for it. If he doesn't keel over and die of old age during the date then it will have been a success.
Astral Dog
Member
Go out and make his Valentine CB 💘
You would be doing a noble thing ,and he likely understands its not too serious either.
Thequietone
Member
I dated an older man once. Trump supporter and an asshole. Good in bed though.
Astral Dog
Member
Hmm,there are papers were you can identify as "neither" or,if it doesn't really bother you and you said you are comfortable with your body,just answer "male". Its not (should be not) about sexual attraction Gender traditions or personality, really.
So it would be easier to introduce you as an asexual man.
Maybe someone else has a better answer though.
CornBurrito
Member
My biggest worry is that I'm awful in bed. Pretty sure I am lol.
99.9 % of people are at first.
It's a learned trait and the majority of partners are okay with that
Thequietone
Member
Everyone sucks at it at first. It's a learning experience. I am always doing new things.
I figure, i am what i am, not sure that needs a label. Though i guess "genderless" might be fitting, in absence of "i don't care".
In any case, it isn't that i'm confused or uncomfortable with myself rather i kinda wonder "why". Maybe. Not sure i have the right question...
Also wonder if this kind of wondering might be usual for asexuals.
CornBurrito
Member
So for more context, at that party where I met the 16+ year older guy I slept with the host. But neither of us came. I got really fuckin close but just couldn't get over the edge. I also couldn't get it fully up but idk if that's just from me being a kinky bastard (i usually need some sort of bdsm element to get it up), a result of porn addiction, or the copious amounts of alcohol impacting performance. And then for whatever reason (maybe he was out of lube) he didn't move beyond just using his tongue/fingers on me. So it has me feeling a bit insecure.
I kind of want to ask why he didn't put his dick in me but that feels like a question not worth asking due to the awkwardness of it.
D
Deleted member 465307
Unconfirmed Member
Sexual orientation and interest in sex are typically held to be conceptually separate from sex and gender. Could you talk a bit more about how you see your sex or gender being impacted or affected by being asexual?
Henchmen21
Banned
I've never once had a Valentine's Day anything. How Despair inducing.
*Raises a glass* Eternally single gaf unite!
Fixed for the funny
Thequietone
Member
Was it just anal stimulation or did he also reach around to a hand job? Because it took me awhile to achieve orgasm through anal stimulation/penetration alone and always needed a reach around to finish me.
Thequietone
Member
Jokes on you, I'm slightly tipsy and did that on purpose because I knew someone couldn't resist.
As far as i know, asexual is basically sexual orientation. Not interested sex (except perhaps intellectually, kinda wonder about the experience) and that is how it has always been for me. I never became interested in girls or boys or anyone in puberty, and i don't think i've ever developed any kind of sexual or romantic attraction to others. I just don't need sex nor romance.
One impact, possible impact, is that i'm not sure i understand others who actually need those things. I know why, but don't understand it, if that makes sense. (I mean, can someone who isn't asexual understand complete lack of urge for sex? Works both ways, so this might not be a real impact but rather perfectly normal.)
I guess my issue is that i'm supposedly male (presumably since i'm biologically male) but i don't have any idea why that is. In the fundamental sort of way. As far as i can determine, the whole concept seems made up when i think about it, as it certainly doesn't really seem to be related to biological sex, based on that there are people for whom gender and sex most certainly don't seem to be the same thing. And so, rationally genderless/"i don't care" would be a better fit for me, though ultimately it would change nothing.
Strictly speaking, i'm not sure this is even important for me, but i like knowing things, whether they're about myself or not.
EDIT TL;DR "What is gender and does it even really matter".
EDIT2 my tldr isn't quite accurate as i reckon it matters for some, but close enough for me.
Thequietone
Member
Don't think I'm doing anything for v day. I'm actually expecting the Trump supporter to call me since he hasn't rubbed it in that Trump won and I was wrong yet. He would be that insensitive. I really don't understand how a member of the LGBTQ community can support Trump.
Sex = the type of gametes (sex cells you have), and in humans specifically it's down to the presence of the Y chromosome
Gender = a set of behaviors and cultural codes that typically identifies you as either (or more) sexes in society
This is just one way to look at it. There are other ways because language and psychological research are fuzzy on this point.
There's a term for what you're feeling and it's agender.
Gender = a set of behaviors and cultural codes that typically identifies you as either (or more) sexes in society
This is just one way to look at it. There are other ways because language and psychological research are fuzzy on this point.
There's a term for what you're feeling and it's agender.
Behaviors and cultural codes? Never figured those out. I mean... I can think of some stereotypical (and sometimes real probably) male behavior but none i can see myself doing.
Which is why i figure gender is really a made up thing.
Interesting to know there's a term... Asexual, aromatic, agender has good alliterative appeal.
D
Deleted member 465307
Unconfirmed Member
Hmm. Okay. So it seems like you're exploring your identity and how that fits into your community and society. I see two issues you've raised: 1) Being able to understand other people who are not asexual and them being able to understand you, & 2) Your relationship with gender.
Regarding asexuality, I think most people should be able to understand it. There might be some people who push and pressure you into finding a relationship or hookup and will be confused you when you say you don't want either, but that's likely more a result of the norm being challenged rather than an inability to conceptually understand the ideas of being aromantic and asexual. As someone who for the longest time didn't understand sex and why people do it (still kiiiiind of don't), I personally think it's generally harder to understand being sexual than being asexual.
As for sex and gender (and speaking to your TLDR), depending on where you live and your surrounding culture, sex and gender may be less or more important. I think it typically manifests in the form of expected behaviors and ways of thinking. Your society might care a lot about gender (e.g., sort certain activities and public/private spaces by gender) or it might care a lot less. Ultimately, whether gender matters or not is a question that has to be answered according to various value sets. For some, it really does. For you, it might not matter at all. It's a social phenomenon, and we all kind of figure out how we want to (and will) interact with it. I think the questions you raise are interesting ones; I invite you to consider every personal question you see on a form next time you fill one out. Ask yourself why those are the questions that were chosen and what importance they could possibly hold.
If you're interested in thinking more about sex and gender, there are some great books out there about the subject that I'm sure people in this thread could recommend. Let us know if you're interested.
Mm, something as simple as dressing also ties into those codes. Do you think you dress masculinely? And I don't mean in like outrageously masculine uniform like a football gear, but just in terms of cut/fitting/color?
Unrelated: KIKI is releasing February 24th, it's Paris is Burning for Millenials
http://www.firstshowing.net/2017/watch-trailer-for-kiki-documentary-about-nycs-lgbtq-dance-scene/
CornBurrito
Member
I mean I was stroking my own dick I just couldn't really get full mast.
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
I'll read the long post tomorrow, mobile posting. Figure it needs thinking too.
I dress functionally. Beyond that, I don't pay attention. I buy clothes from men's sections/stores but frankly, men's clothing seems more functional and practical. Plus it is a habit.
Fashion, style, they belong to the large group of things i regard irrelevant and uninteresting.
(Wish i had a robot body so i wouldn't have think about getting clothes. Would solve several other annoyances too.)
...Define masculine dressing (semi-joke).
I dress functionally. Beyond that, I don't pay attention. I buy clothes from men's sections/stores but frankly, men's clothing seems more functional and practical. Plus it is a habit.
Fashion, style, they belong to the large group of things i regard irrelevant and uninteresting.
(Wish i had a robot body so i wouldn't have think about getting clothes. Would solve several other annoyances too.)
Thequietone
Member
Might have been alcohol, maybe not have been fully comfortable with the situation, or it could have been a number of things. I know I wasn't comfortable at first. It wasn't until I was comfortable with my sexuality and could focus on the moment that I could achieve orgasm quickly/easily. I will say that I am Bi/pansexual and I had difficulty accepting my sexuality so it may be different for you.
I've never once had a Valentine's Day anything. How Despair inducing.
Same tbh.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
im going to make a batch of no bake cookie batter and eat it out of the pan and then hate myself afterwards
Aarglefarg
Member
Where does this Hunky Nostradamus tag come from?
P.S. I bought Tales of Berseria because people said good things about it here.
P.S. I bought Tales of Berseria because people said good things about it here.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
in joke from TV GAF
The Emperor
Member
Gonna hang out with some lgbt single friends on v day night watching movies n havin food as and then going out clubbing! We have sworn we would not spend the night alone and al together haha
Urban Viking
Member
Same here. We won't even be in the same city this year.
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