Yeah ! We are getting there, I wonder what the next run of the ladder is?
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LGBTQIA+ |OT9| The Return of the Queen
- Thread starter Sibylus
- Start date
Yeah ! We are getting there, I wonder what the next run of the ladder is?
Dead Prince
Banned
Guess I should go spread some education and deeply seed it in their head. (I live an hour away from new Orleans)
White supremacy and white privilege are not just "views" a white person holds lmao. These are undeniable facts of our society that literally infect everything. While I can't avoid it completely, I'd rather not have to deal with it in relationships too.
Honestly you defining that as racist is whatever to me. Call me a racist, it doesn't really matter because it doesn't have a tangible effect literally anywhere. I'm not hurting white people by not dating them. I'm not ruining their image. I'm not feeding into a "white" stereotype that hurts them day to day. When a gay person excludes poc from their dating pool, it doesn't come from a place of not relating to them. It comes from generalizations and stereotypes that stem from white supremacy.
And for me it's not just about race. I come from a Muslim background, and a pretty conservative orthodox one at that. Everything about myself is difficult to explain to people who aren't in similar circumstances.
Turned on all my dating sites after a roughly three month break. Turned them off because I was going travelling for a while (and I just really needed a break from it all), but now thats done and I'm home so I guess its time to dive in once again!
New year, new start. Or so I hope. Not just for dating though. I quit my shitty job late last year, and am going back to school. 2017 will be an interesting year.
New year, new start. Or so I hope. Not just for dating though. I quit my shitty job late last year, and am going back to school. 2017 will be an interesting year.
Dead Prince
Banned
Good luck
Also Grindr updated to unlock more guys in the area if you watch a video ad. Lol
Acting like skin tone preference is neutral in a civilization defined by centuries of systemic racism (definition included)... I can't, lettersgaf fam. I would say love yourselves, but the problem is about loving others beyond your own taught limitations.
Wisdom. Excellent post, Haly.
Wisdom. Excellent post, Haly.
Aeriscloud
Banned
What a shame.
Yado called it that, not me. I just responded in kind. Maybe you should take up your problem with that classification with Yado. You know. lmao or whatever.
The mental gymnastics involved here is incredible. You're basing your decision to not date a demographic of people due to preconceived notions based on their skin color - I'm not defining what you're doing as racist. It IS racist. How harmful it is or isn't to that particular demographic as a whole doesn't change what you're doing. The impact on white people as a demographic is negligible, but it's still wrong.
It's completely fucked up when someone puts "no Asians, no blacks, no fems" and so forth in their Grindr profile. And it is also fucked up when you say shit like "I can never date white people lmao" and then go through some lengthy bullshit diatribe approaching this like I'm somehow the asshole. I'm not the one excluding an entire demographic of people based on skin tone.
I'll say no more on the matter.
Lmao roast
WaffleTaco
Wants to outlaw technological innovation.
What's wrong with saying no fems out of curiosity?
Cause you are minimizing the value of a man for him not following what people standards of how a man should act like. Its rooted on our brain that men should be manly and any sign of femininity is seen as weakness so its another problem to deal with.
I personally think putting "No _________________" in your profile is incredibly tacky, and is more likely to make me think you're a very limited, narrow-minded person.
And yes, having "No [insert race here]" is racist. To cut off an entire group of people who can look wildly different from one another based on a man-made construct is inherently racist. This ain't hard.
Especially if you have "No blacks" in your profile, but then turn around and message me with the thought that telling me you're willing to make an exception in my case is somehow a compliment.
And yes, having "No [insert race here]" is racist. To cut off an entire group of people who can look wildly different from one another based on a man-made construct is inherently racist. This ain't hard.
Especially if you have "No blacks" in your profile, but then turn around and message me with the thought that telling me you're willing to make an exception in my case is somehow a compliment.
Misogyny and homophobia wombo-combo.
This is better than what I said. I suck at explaining.
WaffleTaco
Wants to outlaw technological innovation.
I'm not sure I can agree with you two on this. It's not unrealistic to think that someone who is attracted to men to not be attracted to someone who acts feminine.
You're obfuscating the motivation. Men are men, regardless if they act "feminine" or not. Disparaging a man because he "acts like a woman" in the eyes of the given person isn't the expression of a personal preference, it's textbook prejudice working on multiple axes. "Men that act like women are undesirable." It's no better than disparaging someone for their dialect, cultural rearing, language, or their ethnicity.
I also think it's normal to have a preference for particular traits, the issue is people being jerks about it. There are honestly many masculine traits I find attractive, but that doesn't mean I automatically shut down people based on any kind of "masculinity checklist" or whatever.
Sweeney Tom
Banned
Looking for love is hell, is my lesson of the week apparently. Gonna be a sad new year probably but at least I'll be with friends (and wine) during it!
DOWN
Banned
A man who identifies as a man, is one no matter how he acts. To tell him he isn't masculine because of conventions you are judging him on is a prejudice, rather than to simply realize it is a man and therefore masculinity is whatever behavior he owns as a man. He is just as much a man as anyone no matter how many times you want to bring up societal conventions.
You don't get to say someone has to act a certain way in their gender, or else they are less of their gender. It's an essential aspect of LGBT+ rights. Society can't tell us we can't marry other men because we are men and that's not how men act.
It's just degrading to put out there that if someone doesn't fit society's homophobic depiction of what a conventionally masculine guy is, don't bother sending a message. You can say that if you want, but it will be saying plenty about you.
And nobody is denying that conditioning means you can't flip switches on what you are attracted to, but you sure as hell can address those causes and conditions by choice and perhaps become more open and sensitive to the people who are hearing your message.
Prototype Viktor
Member
Isn't Louisiana Republican run, people ain't out there trusting doctor's
Implies there's a choice to be fem or not. Instead of a personality that fits a label made to fit personality
WaffleTaco
Wants to outlaw technological innovation.
Okay, what everyone is saying makes complete logical sense when talking about it on paper. However I don't think it applies to the real world. People like what they like. I don't think it is unrealistic for someone not to want their partner acting in a particular way. Which is why it is probably better if someone clearly says they aren't attracted to someone who acts a particular way.
The men in my family think that guys who wear jeans tight enough to show the shape of their legs and bright colors are feminine.
What makes someone feminine is so freaking subjective that announcing it in your profile doesn't really inform people of your specific preference so much as conjures a caricature in their minds, oh and lends to a perception that you're incredibly judgmental.
What makes someone feminine is so freaking subjective that announcing it in your profile doesn't really inform people of your specific preference so much as conjures a caricature in their minds, oh and lends to a perception that you're incredibly judgmental.
Aeriscloud
Banned
It's okay everyone, no fats is still acceptable.
/s
/s
I like it when someone says I got a cute face but its a pity that Im fat or the guys that would tell me that they would make an exception of the no fats for me. How flattering.
You've got it backwards― "people like what they like" is an essentialist narrative that only works in a paper world where taste is an immutable, inscrutable, and unchangeable set of characteristics. Does not wash with what we know (that preferences can and do change for a variety of reasons).
Prototype Viktor
Member
a friend from a few years back had a boyfriend who for all tense of purposes no one would call him femme, he was buff, worked on a oil rig, dressed only in jeans and a t-shirt but I've never seen someone as "femme" as he. Mostly because he never talked when out and not comfortable with anyone. He would sometimes talk about the struggle with all these no fem guys hitting him up hard because of his look (mostly a by-product of his job) then get disgusted by his personality. I'm half tempted to login to BookFace foe the first time in years to see what they've been upto but
Aeriscloud
Banned
Fuck them, you're too hot for them anyway.
You Know Nothing
Member
It's almost as if you have to step out of your white masc bubble and listen to other perspectives!
Yeah, bubble, cute, my Bio reads "35+ no fem please"
Next thing i'm gonna hear is that i'm prejudiced against younger demographics? How do you choose what to be attracted to?
Seriously, i can't, it's insane how different the lgbt communities from other countries are
You Know Nothing
Member
That's too much work tho.
You can't really dictate what you're attracted to but you can at least acknowledge it's a problem and shitty to certain people and try to limit your bluntness about it. Maybe open your mind and stop writing off people who don't fit a certain race or personality type. You don't necessarily have to fuck them, but at least don't be an asshole about it.
How am i being an asshole? I'm lookin for a specific kind of guy, that's why i'm there in the first place
It doesn't fuckin mean that i hate everybody else that doesn't fit the damn profile
I love your posts!
kitchenmotors
Banned
Man, some of ya'll are a mess.
And preach You Know Nothing.
And preach You Know Nothing.
edgefusion
Member
i woke up this morning to a wrinkle on my forehead. I am devastated. 
Nothing wrong with that. Aging is normal and Im sure is not a big deal as you might think it isi woke up this morning to a wrinkle on my forehead. I am devastated.
DOWN
Banned
Congrats. Since you get better looking with age, you are finally on your way tbhi woke up this morning to a wrinkle on my forehead. I am devastated.
Decided to give FFXIV a go finally. While I was waiting for the game to finish patching I saw a notice about the "Ceremony of Eternal Bonding" and I was like "oh, marriage, I wonder if they have gay marriage"
So I Googled it and the game does, yay.
But one of the search results came up with this
A thread from 2014, by a player who was banned for expressing their hatred of gay marriage being included, saying that they were banned for "speaking as a Christian"
You might mistake them for sounding almost reasonable until you scroll down and see them saying shit like this:
And people wonder why I hate religion. Fucking hell.
I just spent a wonderful evening and morning with my boyfriend and then just see shit like that casually posted by a miserable prick who thinks they are somehow better
It's a horrible slap in the face with reality of just how awful some people out there are.
So I Googled it and the game does, yay.
But one of the search results came up with this
A thread from 2014, by a player who was banned for expressing their hatred of gay marriage being included, saying that they were banned for "speaking as a Christian"
You might mistake them for sounding almost reasonable until you scroll down and see them saying shit like this:
And people wonder why I hate religion. Fucking hell.
I just spent a wonderful evening and morning with my boyfriend and then just see shit like that casually posted by a miserable prick who thinks they are somehow better
It's a horrible slap in the face with reality of just how awful some people out there are.
Via Purifico
Banned
It's shitty but it's just one person, even barring the religious aspect he overall sounds like a person with issues in general to be this upset over a MMO.
You have to be really bothered to go in this much over a feature you can easily ignore and not take part in.
You have to be really bothered to go in this much over a feature you can easily ignore and not take part in.
I just started XIV too! Never played a MMO, but it's been pretty fun so far. I got on Ultros since it seems like that's where most of GAF is.
Zero²;227297928 said:
I want a bf that watches the same TV shows I watch or at least tolerates them enough to watch with me and plays videogames with me even if he may have a bit of bad taste at times like enjoying Bethesda buggy games and Ubisoft lazy yearly games for example. I think there is nothing odd wanting someone to have similar interests and its quite common from what Ive seen around. Of course you are not looking for a twin and you want them to have their own set of differences to bring interesting conversations or discover things you haven't checked.
Via Purifico
Banned
XIV has great aesthetics and I enjoy the lore but the combat is what's not doing it for me.
Black Desert hit the right spot for me in terms of combat.
Black Desert hit the right spot for me in terms of combat.
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