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LGBTQIA Thread |OT5| Can't even drink straight

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daripad

Member
Well, I gave my cousin his 3DS back with my copy smash but I'll ask him to let me borrow it again this week so we can play :D Nah, I've been around but I haven't posted in this thread in a while.

Ok, just Pm me when you are able to play ;)

I'm a little concerned about my skin color, because many people (not just gay people) have told me that they prefer white guys, so it is a not frustrating to know that I have a disadvantage that is not even my fault 😕 but at the same time I comprehend them because we don't chose who we are attracted to physically. What do you think guys?
 

Kevyt

Member
Ok, just Pm me when you are able to play ;)

I'm a little concerned about my skin color, because many people (not just gay people) have told me that they prefer white guys, so it is a not frustrating to know that I have a disadvantage that is not even my fault �� but at the same time I comprehend them because we don't chose who we are attracted to physically. What do you think guys?

I know the feeling D:

It's complicated but it's best not to dwell on it. For example I was once told that I was "too dark skinned". Another time, long ago, someone made a nasty comment saying "I don't like black guys like you" to which I responded by saying that I was Hispanic but this person said it was the same to her. Yes, it was a girl... lol. It was actually one of my friend's sister, my friend was trying to set me up with her. I followed along because during this time I was very deep in the closet. I didn't feel bad that I was rejected at all (because it was a girl) but her comment left a sour taste on my mouth. Fast forward until recently and another comment of similar nature about my skin color and how this person prefers light skin Hispanics or white guys preferably. I was like okay I: Feeling like you are being rejected because of your skin color is a bit rough, and discouraging.

This was all in real life, not in the internet... it made me feel uncomfortable and unsure about myself. I grew up with a somewhat racist family and I just felt awkward and out of place as far as my skin color (I was referred to as the "toasted one" by my cousins, and no it wasn't said as an affectionate nickname but as a snarky slur). But then I figured, there's nothing I can do about it. I am who I am, and if some people like white guys only then that's fine, that's who they are and those are their likes. I respect them. I certainly felt at a disadvantage, but figured it was mostly due to my lack of confidence and low self esteem. But it's getting better and I feel comfortable in my own skin. I suggest you don't pay much attention to it. There are all kinds of guys that have different likes and fetishes - and it's certainly not just about skin color or ethnicity. We come in all sizes, shapes and colors, and there's something for everyone. Just have hope and patience <3
 
Ok, just Pm me when you are able to play ;)

I'm a little concerned about my skin color, because many people (not just gay people) have told me that they prefer white guys, so it is a not frustrating to know that I have a disadvantage that is not even my fault &#55357;&#56853; but at the same time I comprehend them because we don't chose who we are attracted to physically. What do you think guys?
It's definitely frustrating. I used to get told that I was too pale (usually by other white people) and had people ask me why I wasn't disgusted by it and went out to tan more, but not as much recently (and I seem to get away with it in the US without turning heads). Don't waste your time with people like that. It's definitely a form of societal conditioning as well, though. It says nothing about you and your attractiveness.
 
Personally all I want in a guy is someone who's idea of a good time is cuddling up on the sofa with me and watching a movie/playing games/just spending time together. Someone who's not loud and obnoxious and is more of a subdued person like me.


And if he happened to have the body of a model and a dick the size of a pornstar, who am I to judge? ;)
 

Kevyt

Member
Personally all I want in a guy is someone who's idea of a good time is cuddling up on the sofa with me and watching a movie/playing games/just spending time together. Someone who's not loud and obnoxious and is more of a subdued person like me.


And if he happened to have the body of a model and a dick the size of a pornstar, who am I to judge? ;)

Like Ron Jeremy?? Bwahahaha... :p

up-ron_jeremy_1_lg.jpg

jk ;)
 

GCX

Member
Personally all I want in a guy is someone who's idea of a good time is cuddling up on the sofa with me and watching a movie/playing games/just spending time together. Someone who's not loud and obnoxious and is more of a subdued person like me.
That's pretty much my bf.

Lesson of the story: There really really is somebody for everyone.
 

Caladrius

Member
Me at 11 years old, jumping on the sofa. Landed right between the legs on the arm rest. Couldn't breath for almost a minute.

Oof.

Was yours erect too?

im tired of white guys like honestly i used to find them hot but now its just like whatever

image.php


I don't believe you. :V

That's pretty much my bf.

Lesson of the story: There really really is somebody for everyone.

Hooray! This way I won't be alone when I establish my dictatorship!
 

Captcha

Member
Ok, just Pm me when you are able to play ;)

I'm a little concerned about my skin color, because many people (not just gay people) have told me that they prefer white guys, so it is a not frustrating to know that I have a disadvantage that is not even my fault &#65533;&#65533; but at the same time I comprehend them because we don't chose who we are attracted to physically. What do you think guys?

People that would dismiss you are doing you a favor anyway. I don't know what color you are, but I personally prefer swarthy dudes. I think it's because I turned out kinda pale even though I am half-Mexican D:. I was just talking to a friend about this, but someone like Russell Wilson is perfect:

<3
 

daripad

Member
im tired of white guys like honestly i used to find them hot but now its just like whatever

Says the guy who uses Dark Pit :p

I know the feeling D:

Where are you from? It looks like people round you are racist but IIRC you are hispanic so it is weird if they told you those things considering there are people with your same skin color everywhere.

It's definitely frustrating.

I never thought that white people would get called things. I'm sorry for that Necromanti, I hope you have gotten over it.

People that would dismiss you are doing you a favor anyway.

Yes, I think the same, but it leaves me with less options :p I'm mexican anyway, you can imagine my skin color.
 

Enzon

Member
I personally don't care about race, i have noticed that i tend to like more white men but i don't know why. That said, if a guy is great, makes me laugh and likes to watch movies cuddling with me i don't care what color his skin is
 

VegiHam

Member
I personally don't care about race, i have noticed that i tend to like more white men but i don't know why. That said, if a guy is great, makes me laugh and likes to watch movies cuddling with me i don't care what color his skin is
Same! Most of my crushes have been white due to the fact that >95% of the people in my life have been white :p
 

Enzon

Member
Same! Most of my crushes have been white due to the fact that >95% of the people in my life have been white :p

In my case 95% of the people in my life is latin and while there's a lot of latin guys i've liked in the past, my biggest crushes have always been with white guys, i guess i've just met great guys that are white and that's it haha
 

Vazduh

Member
I very much doubt it, but thanks for the kind words.

The old cliche is always true: time heals everything.

If it's possible, a bit of distance from the guy in question will help, too, at least for a week or two, until the initial (strong) feelings settle a bit.

Until that happens, I wish you the best of luck. Hold on!
 

bigkrev

Member
Am I a really shallow person if I'm only attracted to white guys?

With some tertiary attraction to Asians mostly due to the fact that I like smaller (in both size and, uh, you know) guys D:
 
Am I a really shallow person if I'm only attracted to white guys?

With some tertiary attraction to Asians mostly due to the fact that I like smaller (in both size and, uh, you know) guys D:

There are people online who think if you put you are only interested in white/black/whatever guys that you are somehow racist. It boggles the mind.
 
The old cliche is always true: time heals everything.

If it's possible, a bit of distance from the guy in question will help, too, at least for a week or two, until the initial (strong) feelings settle a bit.

Until that happens, I wish you the best of luck. Hold on!
Trust me when I say that personal experience tells me otherwise; time can also make wounds fester.

I doubt a week or two of distance will help much because these feelings aren't new, just reawoken after getting back in touch with him. I just tried to ignore them before, and time made me forget.

Thanks for the well wishing though. It is appreciated.
 
Did I tell you Gays that I'm going to be able to move to the college dorms in one year? I'm so happy that I'm going to be able to get away from all this. I still need to come out to my Dad and the rest of my family.. But if things go bad I won't worry since they're not paying for anything. Yaaaasss
 

berzeli

Banned
There are people online who think if you put you are only interested in white/black/whatever guys that you are somehow racist. It boggles the mind.

Eh. When you make blanket statements such as "I only find X attractive" (with regards to ethnicity) you knowingly or not make a statement that is racist. It doesn't necessarily make the person who says it racist but the statement sure is. But more than that it is ignorant, sure maybe every single person that you've ever found attractive have been of a certain ethnicity but that could be down to who you encounter rather than something inherent to a certain ethnicity. There are ways to present one's thoughts about what one finds attractive that doesn't come across as racist, just take a few extra seconds before posting and look at the phrasing. There is a subtle, but noticeable difference between saying "I only find X attractive" and "I mostly find X attractive".

Society overall is incredibly horrendous when it comes to defining and presenting appearance/beauty as a concept with some very weird standards and invisible rules for what is "allowed" (especially when it comes to people of colour). Which unfortunately skews peoples perception of reality.
 

Mr. F

Banned
Did I tell you Gays that I'm going to be able to move to the college dorms in one year? I'm so happy that I'm going to be able to get away from all this. I still need to come out to my Dad and the rest of my family.. But if things go bad I won't worry since they're not paying for anything. Yaaaasss

Congrats, dorm life is an awesome experience. Do you know yet whether it's a single room or shared?
 

bigkrev

Member
Did I tell you Gays that I'm going to be able to move to the college dorms in one year? I'm so happy that I'm going to be able to get away from all this. I still need to come out to my Dad and the rest of my family.. But if things go bad I won't worry since they're not paying for anything. Yaaaasss

Assuming you are shared, you should probably let your roomate know as soon as possible about yourself. Odds are it won't be a problem, but just in case, you want to know as soon as possible so other arrangements for both of you can be made.
 
Eh. When you make blanket statements such as "I only find X attractive" (with regards to ethnicity) you knowingly or not make a statement that is racist. It doesn't necessarily make the person who says it racist but the statement sure is. But more than that it is ignorant, sure maybe every single person that you've ever found attractive have been of a certain ethnicity but that could be down to who you encounter rather than something inherent to a certain ethnicity. There are ways to present one's thoughts about what one finds attractive that doesn't come across as racist, just take a few extra seconds before posting and look at the phrasing. There is a subtle, but noticeable difference between saying "I only find X attractive" and "I mostly find X attractive".

Society overall is incredibly horrendous when it comes to defining and presenting appearance/beauty as a concept with some very weird standards and invisible rules for what is "allowed" (especially when it comes to people of colour). Which unfortunately skews peoples perception of reality.

Saying you prefer a race over another is not racist. Its personal taste and purely subjective. You're not valuing a race's ability to love as being superior to another. That would be racist.
 

Vazduh

Member
Trust me when I say that personal experience tells me otherwise; time can also make wounds fester.

I doubt a week or two of distance will help much because these feelings aren't new, just reawoken after getting back in touch with him. I just tried to ignore them before, and time made me forget.

Thanks for the well wishing though. It is appreciated.

I'm sorry for generalizing too much in the post above, obviously not everyone will have the same experiences.

But I also want to ask you - would you like not to have those kinds of feelings for him? I mean, are you convinced that guy was the one or do you believe there might be someone else who would be as good or even better for you?
 

berzeli

Banned
Saying you prefer a race over another is not racist.

Yes I am selectively quoting you and taking things out of context, but still:
BxHNj6y.gif

Its personal taste and purely subjective. You're not valuing a race's ability to love as being superior to another. That would be racist.

Like I said in my post, there are ways to express your preferences that doesn't come across as racist. Saying that an entire ethnic group is incapable of being beautiful because of their ethnicity is racist and not just "being shallow" or something along those lines. You don't have to be overtly racist to say something racist or perpetuate harmful ideas.
 
Saying you prefer a race over another is not racist. Its personal taste and purely subjective. You're not valuing a race's ability to love as being superior to another. That would be racist.

That's pretty much the very definition of racism. Aesthetic preferences are one thing, but specifically tying preferences to "inherent" racial qualities is definitely racist on some level. Example:

1. "I don't like girls with frizzy hair." Not racist.

2. "I don't like black girls." Definitely racist.

3. "I don't like black girls because of their frizzy hair." May not be worth grabbing the torches and pitchforks for, but it is still racist by a baseline standard.

For one, not only are you making assumptions about an entire race and likely tying projection and personal experience to it unnecessarily, but you're also using small numbers of people as spokespeople or representatives for an entire race, aka stereotyping. Even if you may not consider it offensive or derogatory or whatever in the way that actively subjugating someone to prejudice because of race is, it's absolutely a racist thing to do, even if subtle. "I normally don't like spanish guys, but you're pretty cute," "you're so polite for a Scotsman," "this is the longest I've ever been with a black guy," etc. are all no-nos. You're absolutely allowed to have preferences, for example wanting someone with red hair or freckles or glasses or even being tan, but the second you actually tie those qualities to a race, positively or negatively, it's absolutely racially-charged and by extension racism.

5cKuoT2.gif
 

red13th

Member
People that would dismiss you are doing you a favor anyway. I don't know what color you are, but I personally prefer swarthy dudes. I think it's because I turned out kinda pale even though I am half-Mexican D:. I was just talking to a friend about this, but someone like Russell Wilson is perfect:


<3

damn the things I'd do to Wilson if I had the chance. soooo hot.
 

Enzon

Member
I don't understand how can someone say they don't like a race, period. Even inside a race there's so much diversity. I don't usually have crushes for indian guys for example (and i don't know many of them) but just next week i was almost literally drooling over an indian guy friend of my friend.
 
I don't understand how can someone say they don't like a race, period. Even inside a race there's so much diversity. I don't usually have crushes for indian guys for example (and i don't know many of them) but just next week i was almost literally drooling over an indian guy friend of my friend.

Yeah, same. Just seems weird to me to attach particular feelings of attraction to an entire race.
 
I'm sorry for generalizing too much in the post above, obviously not everyone will have the same experiences.

But I also want to ask you - would you like not to have those kinds of feelings for him? I mean, are you convinced that guy was the one or do you believe there might be someone else who would be as good or even better for you?
Don't be sorry, duder. No need to be. Just explaining my different outlook is all.

As for your question, I don't really know how to answer that. He means a lot to me. I care about him and his well-being, in a way that's... different from most friends. From even my best straight friend. I don't know what that means or how to deal with it though. How do you stop feeling something without losing the close friendship?

I don't know that he's the one, or that he'd be good for me. Maybe not. But my heart has never listened to my brain before.
 

Rayis

Member
I've found people of all races attractive, but I'm probably going to end up with a hispanic guy due to the cultural similarities and the demographics of where I live
 

bigkrev

Member
I guess I should note when I say "I'm only attracted to White guys", I'm talking on a physical level. I can be romantically/emotionally attracted to someone of any race, but I feel that there needs to be some level of physical attraction in a relationship for it to work out
 

Golnei

Member
Yeah, same. Just seems weird to me to attach particular feelings of attraction to an entire race.

I can't really empathise with it either - I might usually find certain physical traits appealing, but I wouldn't be able to racialise them without some impressive mental contortions.

And it's hard to not perceive those blanket dismissals as reflections of social stigma attached to race, especially since white men so often aren't their subject. When desirability has been coded as white for so long, outright rejecting non-white ethnicities as capable of being attractive appears as anything other than an innocent statement of preference.
 
Congrats, dorm life is an awesome experience. Do you know yet whether it's a single room or shared?
Thanks, I'm pretty sure it's shared.
Assuming you are shared, you should probably let your roomate know as soon as possible about yourself. Odds are it won't be a problem, but just in case, you want to know as soon as possible so other arrangements for both of you can be made.
Thank you for the advice, I won't be surprised if I have to deal with a homophobe considering I live in Arizona :V
 
I'm sad that I missed out on the dorm experience during college. I lived at home for the first year or so, then I moved into an apartment with my best friend.. that was fun, but I don't think it's the exact same experience as in a dorm setting.
 

Kevyt

Member
Says the guy who uses Dark Pit :p



Where are you from? It looks like people round you are racist but IIRC you are hispanic so it is weird if they told you those things considering there are people with your same skin color everywhere.



I never thought that white people would get called things. I'm sorry for that Necromanti, I hope you have gotten over it.



Yes, I think the same, but it leaves me with less options :p I'm mexican anyway, you can imagine my skin color.

It was just three people... and some of my family members have archaic ideas about race and skin color. Other than that, everyone in here is super cool and open. It's one of the great things about living in a very liberal and blue state (Maryland). I'm Mexican too.

everyone needs love

i'm selective

insert
insert asian
joke
;)

That's pretty much the very definition of racism. Aesthetic preferences are one thing, but specifically tying preferences to "inherent" racial qualities is definitely racist on some level. Example:

1. "I don't like girls with frizzy hair." Not racist.

2. "I don't like black girls." Definitely racist.

3. "I don't like black girls because of their frizzy hair." May not be worth grabbing the torches and pitchforks for, but it is still racist by a baseline standard.

For one, not only are you making assumptions about an entire race and likely tying projection and personal experience to it unnecessarily, but you're also using small numbers of people as spokespeople or representatives for an entire race, aka stereotyping. Even if you may not consider it offensive or derogatory or whatever in the way that actively subjugating someone to prejudice because of race is, it's absolutely a racist thing to do, even if subtle. "I normally don't like spanish guys, but you're pretty cute," "you're so polite for a Scotsman," "this is the longest I've ever been with a black guy," etc. are all no-nos. You're absolutely allowed to have preferences, for example wanting someone with red hair or freckles or glasses or even being tan, but the second you actually tie those qualities to a race, positively or negatively, it's absolutely racially-charged and by extension racism.

5cKuoT2.gif

Very true. That was a really good explanation. That gif though... from a Collegehumor video, it was a fun one. :p
 
That's pretty much the very definition of racism. Aesthetic preferences are one thing, but specifically tying preferences to "inherent" racial qualities is definitely racist on some level. Example:

1. "I don't like girls with frizzy hair." Not racist.

2. "I don't like black girls." Definitely racist.

3. "I don't like black girls because of their frizzy hair." May not be worth grabbing the torches and pitchforks for, but it is still racist by a baseline standard.

For one, not only are you making assumptions about an entire race and likely tying projection and personal experience to it unnecessarily, but you're also using small numbers of people as spokespeople or representatives for an entire race, aka stereotyping. Even if you may not consider it offensive or derogatory or whatever in the way that actively subjugating someone to prejudice because of race is, it's absolutely a racist thing to do, even if subtle. "I normally don't like spanish guys, but you're pretty cute," "you're so polite for a Scotsman," "this is the longest I've ever been with a black guy," etc. are all no-nos. You're absolutely allowed to have preferences, for example wanting someone with red hair or freckles or glasses or even being tan, but the second you actually tie those qualities to a race, positively or negatively, it's absolutely racially-charged and by extension racism.

5cKuoT2.gif

Again, its not racism. Saying you find a certain race sexually attractive at the exclusion of others is not racism for the simple fact you are stating a personal preference. Its not based on any valuation of the races (whites are better so I will choose to date them) as being intrinsically better or worse than any other.
 

RM8

Member
I don't see it as inherently racist (stating a personal preference doesn't imply inferiority / superiority), but it's a bit odd to me. Do people from other races that are considered attractive look completely "meh" to you? Also, what about mixed people?
 
That's pretty much the very definition of racism. Aesthetic preferences are one thing, but specifically tying preferences to "inherent" racial qualities is definitely racist on some level. Example:

1. "I don't like girls with frizzy hair." Not racist.

2. "I don't like black girls." Definitely racist.

3. "I don't like black girls because of their frizzy hair." May not be worth grabbing the torches and pitchforks for, but it is still racist by a baseline standard.

For one, not only are you making assumptions about an entire race and likely tying projection and personal experience to it unnecessarily, but you're also using small numbers of people as spokespeople or representatives for an entire race, aka stereotyping. Even if you may not consider it offensive or derogatory or whatever in the way that actively subjugating someone to prejudice because of race is, it's absolutely a racist thing to do, even if subtle. "I normally don't like spanish guys, but you're pretty cute," "you're so polite for a Scotsman," "this is the longest I've ever been with a black guy," etc. are all no-nos. You're absolutely allowed to have preferences, for example wanting someone with red hair or freckles or glasses or even being tan, but the second you actually tie those qualities to a race, positively or negatively, it's absolutely racially-charged and by extension racism.

5cKuoT2.gif
You really hit some great notes on this about race, racial preference,and racism. People
Don't want to think that their racial preferences are not influenced by outside social forces, and that a race of people (that is very diverse in itself )are a certain way and in a sense, and packaged or looks one type of way only which is ridiculous. We know many people within groups are diverse no matter how much we try to measure and categorize. Maybe it's also from not being too fsmiliar with another race or culture for some.
I find it incredibly liberating finding so many types of men attractive. I used to like certain men in waves. One only or mostly black then almost exclusively white at one point. But looking back its so ridiculous. There are so many types of attractive people everywhere of different races height ages weight and size.
As an example my friend told me he doesn't like Asian guys because they are too deme nine to him, yet went bonkers at a dude wearing one of those bara sweaters not even 15 minutes later. How silly and ridiculous is that. We're not ignorant to the diverse nature and appearance of human beings but sometimes we tend to forget that when we try to find people as attractive. Sorry if this post seems messy im posting from my phone :/
 

berzeli

Banned
Again, its not racism. Saying you find a certain race sexually attractive at the exclusion of others is not racism for the simple fact you are stating a personal preference. Its not based on any valuation of the races (whites are better so I will choose to date them) as being intrinsically better or worse than any other.

Yes it is. You are saying that people of a certain ethnicity are "being intrinsically better or worse" at being physically attractive as a inherent part of their ethnicity. That is putting a valuation on ethnicity not just stating a preference.

Sub-Zero put it very well in his post:

You're absolutely allowed to have preferences ... but the second you actually tie those qualities to a race, positively or negatively, it's absolutely racially-charged and by extension racism.

I'm not sure how to make it clearer than that.
 
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