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"Madame Web" | Rotten Watch

ManaByte

Gold Member
Who watched these dailies and thought this is good.
OIP.YgBYn3R7lkcCc44guLRh8gAAAA
 

jason10mm

Gold Member
‘Lets sell this piece of shit by making out that Sydney Sweeney ends up in a skin tight black spider costume!’

’Thats not in the film, though.’

’Who cares? The idiots will have paid by then.’

100% guarantee this conversation happened.
More importantly, who the HELL casts Dakota, Sydney, and that Dora chick and DOESNT have them in bikinis, tight latex, and wet t-shirts the entire film?

It would be like casting Sly, Arnie, or Cavill for a film and then they don't punch anyone. Whats the point?
 

DeafTourette

Perpetually Offended
Isn't his wife like 30 years younger than him? He just had a kid too. I guess trying to keep up with all that helps lol.

Did anyone watch this thing?

Wait... You really thought that was Bob Deniro? It's John Campea, a YouTube movie reviewer and pundit.
 
Got zero complaints about Sydney Sweeney's (absolutely slamming) body but the face is just okay for me. She doesn't look bright (wouldnotbang.meme.jpg)

On the other hand people don't seem to fawn over Dakota Johnson much but she's got kind of a discount Sophie Marceau vibe that I'm totally into.

I'm pretty sure I've never watched anything either one of them is in though.
 
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Alcibiades

Member
Saw it in true IMAX Dual Laser a couple of weeks ago.

Enjoyed it for what it was but there are definitely some pretty bad moments. The dialogue and situations are sometimes unintentionally funny.

I never watched the trailer and had no idea what the movie was about, I sorta figured it was a Gwen movie or something of the sort. I expected the three girls to get power at some point but it didn't bother me they didn't.

The biggest flaw in the story is that the villain seems to have these superpowers that he never quite uses to his full potential against the four main characters. He chases them using his powers but doesn't follow through. The movie minimize his abilities in the fights. Would have made more sense to keep him lower powered throughout.

The other thing that didn't make sense was the villain having government surveillance powers to know where the good guys are at all times, yet the main character is able to make it out to South America undetected?

Not a good movie by any means but better the The Marvels and Morbius for sure.
 
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kunonabi

Member
Is this more memes than the Jared Leto vampire movie? I will only see it if it's meme worthy.
Personally I find dakota's performance infinitely more hilarious than anything in Morbius. Morbius just felt like a movie written by an a.i. or something. Like it it had a faint idea of how a movie script is supposed to function and it just sort of assembled one based on third party descriptions.
 

OneBigPuss

Member
It's received the Hideo Kojima "I saw it" award


From what i know about "Kojima reviews" on twitter is that he just describes the movies he saw and says few things about it from his point of view but the score is in the number of sentences he writes. The less he writes about the movie he saw the less he likes it. No description about Madam Web says it all then :p
 
Again, how can anyone watch the acting of Syndey Sweeney and say it's anything but horrible. I never heard about her before but when I saw 'Anyone but you' , which is a terrible movie, I immediately said "she must have slept with the director"...

Everyone else sees that she's only being put in movies/series for her body assets right? Even though I think she has a butterface with the horse mouth.
 

GymWolf

Member
Again, how can anyone watch the acting of Syndey Sweeney and say it's anything but horrible. I never heard about her before but when I saw 'Anyone but you' , which is a terrible movie, I immediately said "she must have slept with the director"...

Everyone else sees that she's only being put in movies/series for her body assets right? Even though I think she has a butterface with the horse mouth.
I think her face is a bit shrodinger, under the right condition it looks nice, unde the wrong condition she looks like dead fish eye billie eilish.
 

wondermega

Member
This came to Netflix recently, I had zero intention of watching it but A. my friend brought it up as a curiosity the other day and 2. I was bored and then that curiosity got the best of me. Saw that it was number one on Netflix so...

Anyway I'll get right to the meat and potatoes here. First of all I'm fairly superhero burned out at this point, but these "outside of the overblown MCU superhero films" do have a certain standout attraction to me since they will at least be a little different, if nothing else. Secondly.. the movie actually started out kind of compelling. The evil Spider-Man character sounds a bit... dubious, for so many reasons, but even if half-assedly attempted could still be cool for a bunch of the usual expected reasons (at this point I'm more interested in an evil Spider-Man movie than a heroic one, actually).

Knowing zero about Madame Web other than a couple of images from a comic I'd come across, no attachment or expectations of the character. Oh she's an EMT worker? That actually sounds kind of like a cool wrinkle! And then after she starts getting her visions, that stuff was actually particularly interesting how they handled it, all things considered. They didn't over explain, just sort of hit you with it as the character (and bystanders) were experiencing it, then the reset would occur. It was a neat gimmick. Hmm, this movie is actually not too bad!

And then.. maybe a bit past a third of the way into the film.. it started getting bad. I couldn't stand any of how the young girls were handled, the movie became "quick let's get from point A to B" and just felt rushed, haphazardly written, poorly acted (well I guess they did the best they could with the "clearly no one really cares" material they were given). Not to sound like one of those people, but it really felt like "ok now let's truly make this into a girl Power film VS the mean man bad guy!" Yeah that's fine and you have to make movies like this in 2024 I guess, but at least just try to make it good I guess? The enemy character ended up being pretty stupid, weak, and plagued with misfortune to the degree that it became comical (not that you'd laugh at it, more like again lazy writing to keep him at bay and never really able to present much of a threat beyond being intimidating.. "oh there he is! Bad guy! Let's get away from him, some more!" Sure to be fair, whenever you have any kind of supernatural adversary and you have nothing, it's probably going to make the most sense to dodge, dodge, dodge but I think maybe they just went to the well one too many times or something. Anyway as is always the case with these films, at some point they hastily wrap it up and it's evident they haven't a particularly interesting or clever way to do that, so it just kind of runs out of gas.

I guess I wouldn't even make post about this film at all, if I didn't somehow wind up feeling a bit disappointed by it, given the actual promise the first 3rd of the movie led with. Yeah, I get it that the film was likely pretty rushed for XYZ reasons. Yeah, I get it that the budget was probably really small and they decided that the film was going to probably be a bunch of filler and mostly chase after the gimmicks wore thin. But geez Sony come on. They clearly are spending time and energy and serious moolah with the Spider Verse stuff and it's very clearly working for them, they have a license to print money with these IPs even if it's Spiderman-less. Anyway I'll say that it is worth a watch at least for those curious like me, but once the film starts getting excessively draggy (you'll know when) then there is zero shame in turning it off and reading about the rest of the plot on Wikipedia for this film (or just shrugging and forgetting about it altogether).

Next!
 
QJkG3K7.png


This is my favourite moment in the movie. It's supposed to be a gut wrenching moment of loss and realization on how not to accept the visions but take action to make sure they don't happen.
But then you look and notice this dump truck is driving full speed past a burning building into the river. In any normal movie there would be some CGI backround put there to make the road go on but here it was 100% certain the movie would be released in theaters to keep the rights going back to Marvel.
So why bother? A sentiment shared by everyone in this movie.
 
Again, how can anyone watch the acting of Syndey Sweeney and say it's anything but horrible. I never heard about her before but when I saw 'Anyone but you' , which is a terrible movie, I immediately said "she must have slept with the director"...

Everyone else sees that she's only being put in movies/series for her body assets right? Even though I think she has a butterface with the horse mouth.
Since this thread was bumped, the show that managed to bring out her best acting was Euphoria. It was such a well played role that they made her essentially mirror the performance in another HBO show, White Lotus.
 

wondermega

Member
QJkG3K7.png


This is my favourite moment in the movie. It's supposed to be a gut wrenching moment of loss and realization on how not to accept the visions but take action to make sure they don't happen.
But then you look and notice this dump truck is driving full speed past a burning building into the river. In any normal movie there would be some CGI backround put there to make the road go on but here it was 100% certain the movie would be released in theaters to keep the rights going back to Marvel.
So why bother? A sentiment shared by everyone in this movie.
Noticed this too, although I forgot about it soon after (as the film was starting to get crappier at that point, haha). A glaringly obvious error that at the time felt like it just didn't make sense.
 
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