As the crowd thinned out, the group desperately tried to determine who the last no-fun-haver was.
"It's him!" shrieked the angry mom.
"It has to be him," cried the creepy guy wearing a Microsoft hat.
"Yeah, sure, man. Whatever," mumbled the stoner.
Bewildered, Timeaisis left the line.
Timeaisis was removed from the list
Immediately after, the Mom grabbed the clipboard and crossed another name off.
Lone_Prodigy was removed from the list
The Mom, the creepy Microsoft employee, and the man with pee dribbling down his pants remained.
The man holding a Surface broke down crying. "I can't do this any more. This isn't who I am." With that he stripped completely naked and dropped on all fours. He mooed a few times before crawling to a nearby field to enjoy some fresh grass.
Sorian achieved his win condition was removed from the list
The Mom and the Pee Man remained.
The Mom shrieked with laughter. "You were right all along! You were right, and you couldn't do anything about it!" Her laughter seemed to carry for miles so unsettling the Pee Man that a large wet spot appeared on his pants. He ran from the building crying.
LaunchpadMcQ was end gamed.
The manager returned. "So, uh, there was a miscommunication, and uh... we actually have 15 of these things, so uh... oh." He stopped as he realized only one person was still in line.
"I'll take all of them!" she laughed.
"Not so fast."
The Mom turned to find the return of the Divorced Dad and the fired Security Guard.
"We did this together. We split it evenly," the Dad continued, "My custody hearing is tomorrow."
The Security Guard pipped in, "Yeah, and I could use the extra cash."
Begrudgingly, the Mom nodded.
They paid the manager, who seemed rather disinterested in the whole affair.
The game has ended in a No-Fun-Allowed / Moocrosoft victory!
It was only when they got home that they realized the boxes were filled with Harry Potter books. Somewhere out there, the game store manager booked a flight to Brazil.
To be continued?
"It's him!" shrieked the angry mom.
"It has to be him," cried the creepy guy wearing a Microsoft hat.
"Yeah, sure, man. Whatever," mumbled the stoner.
Bewildered, Timeaisis left the line.
Timeaisis was removed from the list
Ordinary Kid
You are so ordinary, you dont even get flavor.
You are a Fun-aligned (Town) Ordinary Townie.
Thanks to some RNG bullshit, you have not been given a role even though we all know you would have played way better than the people who got one.
You win if all No-Fun-Allowed-aligned players are removed from the list.
Immediately after, the Mom grabbed the clipboard and crossed another name off.
Lone_Prodigy was removed from the list
Stoner Dude
Yeah, but like think about it, man. If you dont regulate capitalism all corporations will eventually merge into one giant corporation which will control the government because money is power. See? See? Dont you get it, man? Communism and capitalism are the same thing! Why did we fight all those wars then its total-- oh hold on Spongebob is back on.
Youve been riding a solid [8] all day. Kid Cudi is blaring. Youre browsing r/trees for the dank memes. And youre hanging out in this line with mostly cool people. Life couldnt get any better. You even brought along some brownies to share with everyone! Your own special blend! Now they can enjoy the good life too.
You are a Fun-aligned (Town) 1-shot day vigilante.
Once per game you may give someone a brownie posting in the thread BECKY: <player name>. That person will immediately die from an overdose and be removed from the game.
You win if all No-Fun-Allowed-aligned players are removed from the list.
The Mom, the creepy Microsoft employee, and the man with pee dribbling down his pants remained.
The man holding a Surface broke down crying. "I can't do this any more. This isn't who I am." With that he stripped completely naked and dropped on all fours. He mooed a few times before crawling to a nearby field to enjoy some fresh grass.
Sorian achieved his win condition was removed from the list
Microsoft Guerrilla Marketer
Mooooo. You are a true artist. A painter. Poet. Activist. You stand up for your beliefs no matter how extreme. Moo. All milk should be GMO free. Animals who identify as human should be free to make love to any humans they please. Moo. Humans who identify as farm animals -- like say cows, should be free to eat grass and moo and lick the other cows. And no one should think thats weird.
Unfortunately, bovine-inspired paintings and poetry do not sell nearly as much as you expected, and your parents have cut off all contact after you threw up Christmas dinner and ate the vomit. No matter how much you tried to explain how cud is totally natural for any creature with four stomachs, they just wouldnt hear it. To pay the bills you were forced to get a job as a Guerrilla Marketer for Microsoft.
Youve been assigned to the launch of the NX in an attempt to push Microsoft related products. They may be an udderly evil corporation, but they dont ask too many questions about your after hours activities.
You are a Moocrosoft-aligned (3P) Survivor with Post Restrictions.
Each day you will be given a Microsoft product to casually push on to the unsuspecting consumers. You must mention the product in at least three posts that day or you will fail. If you fail two times, Steve Balmer will personally come out of retirement to fire you.
Due to a NDA, there are some restrictions on what you can say:
- You may never imply that you have a Post Restriction or that you have to say specific things as part of your role.
- You may never mention that you are a marketer or work for Microsoft.
- You may never say anything negative about any Microsoft product.
Breaking any of these rules is an instant failure and you will be removed from the game when the day ends.
Each night you must cowlick one player by sending me the night action: COWLICK: <player name>. The player will receive the following message: You woke up with a cowlick! but that is the only effect. You may not lick the same person twice. Once in the game you may optionally withhold the lick by sending me the night action: LICK MYSELF.
You win if you are still alive at the end of the game and have not failed the guerilla marketing campaign two times or broken any of the NDA rules. If you have any questions about what you can or cannot say let me know!
Alternately you will win if every currently-living player has a cowlick. You don't need to lick yourself to win.
The Mom and the Pee Man remained.
The Mom shrieked with laughter. "You were right all along! You were right, and you couldn't do anything about it!" Her laughter seemed to carry for miles so unsettling the Pee Man that a large wet spot appeared on his pants. He ran from the building crying.
LaunchpadMcQ was end gamed.
Incontinence Guy
Hey, wheres the bathroom?
*goes to the bathroom*
Hey, can you watch my stuff?
*goes to the bathroom*
Hey, hold my spot please.
*goes to the bathroom*
Hey, Ill be right back.
*goes to the bathroom*
Hey...
*goes to the bathroom*
You are a Fun-aligned (Town) Sleepwalker.
Each night you will ask a random person to watch your stuff while you go to the bathroom.
You hydrate way too much and constantly go to the bathroom.
You win if all No-Fun-Allowed-aligned players are removed from the list.
The manager returned. "So, uh, there was a miscommunication, and uh... we actually have 15 of these things, so uh... oh." He stopped as he realized only one person was still in line.
"I'll take all of them!" she laughed.
"Not so fast."
The Mom turned to find the return of the Divorced Dad and the fired Security Guard.
"We did this together. We split it evenly," the Dad continued, "My custody hearing is tomorrow."
The Security Guard pipped in, "Yeah, and I could use the extra cash."
Begrudgingly, the Mom nodded.
They paid the manager, who seemed rather disinterested in the whole affair.
The game has ended in a No-Fun-Allowed / Moocrosoft victory!
Darryl said:Shrieking Mom
Hayden? Hayden, dear, you must finish your kale chips. I know, pumpkin, but we know how you-- oh, okay. If you want Mcdonald's, well go there right away. Mommy always gets her perfect little boy exactly what she wants--
ROSA HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO HAND WASH MY COTTON SWEATERS. THEY SHRINK. SHRINK, ROSA. WHATS THE WORD FOR SHRINK IN YOUR NATIVE TONGUE? WHAT A WASTE! ID SEND YOU BACK TO WHATEVER THIRD WORLD HOLE YOU CRAWLED OUT OF IF I DIDNT HAVE SUCH A HIGH MORAL CODE.
Come on, sweet angel, mommy will buy you chicken nuggets on the way to get your game thingy. Im sorry mommy yells at the lesser people, but theyre just so... lesser.
You are a No-Fun-Allowed-aligned (Mafia) lynchbomb. Your teammates are x and the messageboard is here:
If you are lynched, you will blow up in a screaming rage causing the last person to vote for you to be removed from the list as well.
You may also perform your factions night kill by sending me the night action REMOVE: <player name>
You may only perform one night action per night
You win if No-Fun-Allowed-aligned players hold a majority vote.
It was only when they got home that they realized the boxes were filled with Harry Potter books. Somewhere out there, the game store manager booked a flight to Brazil.
To be continued?