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[JDHarbs]

I feel like I wouldn't even have depression if I wasn't bombarded by media every day that shoves expectations for life down my throat. It's like an infinite loop that I can't break. I can't connect with people which makes me stay home alone which makes me watch media which makes me depressed which makes me not connect with people and so on... rinse and repeat.

Ive been drastically reducing my consumption of it lately to only what I absolutely want to see. The biggest culprit has been television. All of these commercials I see of good times with friends/family or finding love are too much. I only turn it on now to watch the ocassional show or sport and turn it right off. Social media was the next big problem. Seeing updates daily of people I knew living full lives just makes me feel left behind. I've unfollowed everyone on social media except a select few now.

I'm unmotivated to play games lately so I've been spending a lot of time streaming videos and I've noticed a small uptick in my mood. Hopefully I can keep it going.

 

[J_Macgrady]

I feel like I wouldn't even have depression if I wasn't bombarded by media every day that shoves expectations for life down my throat. It's like an infinite loop that I can't break. I can't connect with people which makes me stay home alone which makes me watch media which makes me depressed which makes me not connect with people and so on... rinse and repeat.

Ive been drastically reducing my consumption of it lately to only what I absolutely want to see. The biggest culprit has been television. All of these commercials I see of good times with friends/family or finding love are too much. I only turn it on now to watch the ocassional show or sport and turn it right off. Social media was the next big problem. Seeing updates daily of people I knew living full lives just makes me feel left behind. I've unfollowed everyone on social media except a select few now.

I'm unmotivated to play games lately so I've been spending a lot of time streaming videos and I've noticed a small uptick in my mood. Hopefully I can keep it going.

All of that mainstream happy stuff is pretty toxic to be honest. It's been awhile since I've dealt with severe mental illnesses, but even after the major depressive episode I constantly felt like I was missing out on something to the point of feeling sad (Not depressed. I don't throw that depressed word out lightly). Now I just reached a point of saying fuck all that mainstream happy shit and just do what makes me feel good. Don't worry about images. They're all toxic.

 

[Freeza Under The Shower]

It's not all bad, there are good moments, right? Just wish I felt less like a stray cat, unwanted and unloved.

This may be somewhat inappropriate, but I like that metaphor.

 

[rubes7844]

Today marks my 4th year of seeing my shrink and handling my depression issues. It was the best decision of my life. Even though I have everything I could hope for, I wasn't happy and at times, I am. I thank the heavens for meds. I'll probably be on them for the rest of my life but it keeps me level and I'm thankful for that.

 

[Irishmantis]

Hi although not as severe as some of things I'm reading what you guys got in here but I'm very curious is there anybody with Dyspraxia in here?

Always wanted to make a thread on it

I'm not officially officially diagnosed on paper but I more or less am lol just couldn't afford it at the moment

But i imagine I'm not alone?

 

[rubes7844]

Hi although not as severe as some of things I'm reading what you guys got in here but I'm very curious is there anybody with Dyspraxia in here?

Always wanted to make a thread on it

I'm not officially officially diagnosed on paper but I more or less am lol just couldn't afford it at the moment

But i imagine I'm not alone?

Don't self diagnose or you'll be driving yourself crazy. Try saving up to have a consultation. Plenty of doctors have payment plans.

 

[Irishmantis]

Don't self diagnose or you'll be driving yourself crazy. Try saving up to have a consultation. Plenty of doctors have payment plans.

Oh I'm in the middle of doing that right now

Sorry I should of added that in

Nothing worst then people who just diagnose themselves

By I know already is by 2 reasons first one I got mental exam as akid in elementary school that I actually reached out to get last year it literally said "Shows symptoms of Dyspraxia and should get checked" something along them lines, but the ironic thing is I lost that lol

But the 2nd time was in high school in a special class with an educational specialist who actually introduced me to dyspraxia as she felt that's what I have but for some reason she cannot officially diagnose me. I can't remember why it was years ago

But yeah I'm planning on getting it officially diagnosed ASAP. I tried to tell my doctor but she didn't understand it and sent me to fucking Nerologist that hasn't nothing to do with Dyspraxia at the time.

 

[A Human Becoming]

I put my dog down today when I learned she had cancer. She had lost 20 pounds and could barely get up. She meant the world to me and was my outlet to give affection since I can't do it with people. I can already imagine the void in my life she'll leave, how routines will change. I loved her so much. I tried to mentally prepare for this, but it still hurts so badly.

 

[redlegs87]

I just turned 28 and I'm jobless and live at home with my parents, who are getting old. I feel nothing but constant guilt of being a leech. I'm afraid to go out and get a job because I hate the way I look (going out in public is severely distressing for me) and I haven't even tried since I applied to ten or so places back in August.

I am also just little under a year away from being 30 and I have only recently this year gotten a job my first one in 6 1/2 years. Before that I lived off my family and was a hermit that only ever left the house for doctor appointments and the times I'd go see a movie but only in the middle of a week day matinee where no one else would be. I one day just grew tired of it and I applied for medicaid and was accepted eventually and I vowed I'd work on myself as I can't expect to be happy with myself by just being inside all the time and what am I to do when my parent dies and I am left alone and useless. Find any reason you can as long as it's positive and latch on to it if it will give you the push to keep going on and trying as much as you can.

I put my dog down today when I learned she had cancer. She had lost 20 pounds and could barely get up. She meant the world to me and was my outlet to give affection since I can't do it with people. I can already imagine the void in my life she'll leave, how routines will change. I loved her so much. I tried to mentally prepare for this, but it still hurts so badly.

I am really sorry to hear about this. I do hope you find some peace soon with what's happened. I know when my beagle goes I am going to just be a utter wreck she's been the one constant bright spot in my life for the past 13 years and I can't imagine life without her or any other dog or animal to replace her. Just typing this I am on the verge of bawling my eyes out.

 

[Kwixotik]

.

 

[A Human Becoming]

I am really sorry to hear about this. I do hope you find some peace soon with what's happened. I know when my beagle goes I am going to just be a utter wreck she's been the one constant bright spot in my life for the past 13 years and I can't imagine life without her or any other dog or animal to replace her. Just typing this I am on the verge of bawling my eyes out.

I too got teary-eyed at the thought of it and yesterday it finally came. She has been with me for ten years. My life is going to be significantly worse without her presence.

 

[-Minsc-]

Here's where I'm at.

When I reflect back on my life since graduating from high school (2000) I can tell there's this rooted desire to get out there. Next week I'll turn thirty five and I feel hobbies from my past have largely played their part in my life. I do enjoy watching shows, reading online comics, playing video games, or simply reading random stuff around the internet. The problem I have is I can tell I'm spending too much time on them and they are having a negative effect on other responsibilities in life. On top of it, I feel these interests have not lead me to the in-person social connections I'd like to have. While they are great hobbies, I feel my interest in them is a hold over from following the herd and not pursuing the things I really want to do.

Playing games like Minecraft taught me a few things. I enjoying creating things, desire more social connections, and I don't desire to do these things largely in a virtual space. I guess it's kind of like moving on from that woman who doesn't want to be with you. While a part of me doesn't want to, I feel it's something I have to do.

 

[DJKhaled]

How do I get off these fucking benzos when every welfare cheque I get goes straight into buying more online, i cant even escape them because they will always be available for me as long as I have the internet. But even if they werent so readily available to be delivered to my door I will then get withdrawals and can die... how do I get myself in these positions.

 

[Kwixotik]

How do I get off these fucking benzos when every welfare cheque I get goes straight into buying more online, i cant even escape them because they will always be available for me as long as I have the internet. But even if they werent so readily available to be delivered to my door I will then get withdrawals and can die... how do I get myself in these positions.

My roommate last year got himself stuck in the very same cycle and he's still struggling to get out. It sucks so bad. I hope you can escape it.

Is medical detox an option? If not, do you have a trusted friend who can hold everything for you and help you taper? Can you find the willpower to avoid ordering more when the withdrawals have passed? Are you going to therapy or anything?

How long has this been a problem for you?

 

[Magwik]

Man I'm getting really tired of just having no energy for well, anything. I don't know if my body just doesn't agree with Prozac or what, but never having energy and always feeling fatigued is killing me. Shit, the bags under my eyes were so bad my boss had to ask me if I got into a fight once before. It doesnt make much sense either as I was doing just fine at getting up in the morning a month ago yet here I barely can.

 

[Teriyaki Blues]

Man I'm getting really tired of just having no energy for well, anything. I don't know if my body just doesn't agree with Prozac or what, but never having energy and always feeling fatigued is killing me. Shit, the bags under my eyes were so bad my boss had to ask me if I got into a fight once before. It doesnt make much sense either as I was doing just fine at getting up in the morning a month ago yet here I barely can.

Go to a doctor and get your blood checked ASAP. I'm dealing with an endocrine system problem myself that is giving me similar issues, but excessive fatigue can be caused by so many things that it is best to have the pros check it out.

I'm in a flare with my IBS right now and it makes everything worse. I hate how closely my physical and mental health are tied. I'm probably going to anxiety myself into a cardiac episode sooner or later.

 

[Zelias]

Christ, my life is a mess right now.

I work admin in a supermarket. I've been warning my superiors for ages now that money is going missing from the tills and I can't explain why (but there's a pattern that suggests that a particular staff member is either stealing or incredibly incompetent). What has management done about this? Fuck all. They've disregarded me and done nothing.

Now my manager decides to give a fuck about missing money. And she's blaming me, threatening to bring in loss prevention, even though I've been warning them over and over again to no avail. I'm genuinely worried and I really, really don't want to step foot in the store again. Rumour is my manager thinks she's going to be offered a better role and wants everything to be perfect, and it wouldn't be the first time she's hung a colleague out to dry for her own laziness and incompetence.

I'd leave, straight up walk out, but I need the money. In the meantime I'm just desperately searching for anything - I've been job hunting all year and failed interview after failed interview has just gotten me down. Now it seems even Christmas retail jobs don't want me. I'm terrified that I'm going to end up jobless and penniless, and there's nothing I can do about it.

To make things even better, I also have some weird fatigue issues going on right now. I struggle to stay awake beyond about 9pm or so, my mind just fogs over and I can't concentrate or anything. I can't sleep beyond about 6-7am though to fix my sleep pattern. And I often feel achey and ill these days too. I can sleep 8 hours and feel like I've not been to bed at all. It's frustrating.

 

[NIGHT-]

Finally got an appointment with a highly reviewed psychologist today. I hope this is the beginning of the end of my obsession towards my ex and my past relationship. I want to be free again, and live for myself

 

[grap3fruitman]

The problem is I don't know how to fix my life and I have no support.

 

[Pamplemousse]

The problem is I don't know how to fix my life and I have no support.

Depends on what needs to be fixed. If your problems are unfixable, like mine are, then psychologists will only offer you coping mechanisms. I find there's only so much coping that can be done. I've been at the end of my rope for years now, but I hope you can find improvement.

 

[grap3fruitman]

Depends on what needs to be fixed. If your problems are unfixable, like mine are, then psychologists will only offer you coping mechanisms. I find there's only so much coping that can be done. I've been at the end of my rope for years now, but I hope you can find improvement.

I can't even get as far as seeing anyone regularly. I need help just setting that up.

Cross-post from Facebook:

Everything OT* helped me with a few months ago has fallen apart. Bureaucracy is stupid. I was getting some support from the county but I no longer qualify for Medicaid since I started getting disability for my PTSD. Which makes no sense. Now I have to pay for my own insurance but it's with government money anyway so what the hell? Anyway, being put in the hospital a few months ago has put me into such a financial strain. Before I went into the hospital, I actually had a bit of savings (which I was using to live off of), but the meds they put me on sent me on a manic spending spree plus the hospital bills are starting to come in. Did I mention the police are potentially going to sue me as well? For hurting themselves while breaking and entering into my home. Everyone that tried to "help" me that night has since made my life infinitely more miserable and I already wanted to kill myself. This just makes things worse. I need help figuring out bills. I need help figuring out insurance. I need help with doctors. I'm a fucking mess.

 

[JDHarbs]

Are there any good mobile apps that anyone would recommend to help with anxiety or depression?

 

[Jindrax]

The only reason I'm still here is because it would destroy my brother if I'd end it all.
But I have no reason to be here. I'm alone. I try my hardest. I make new friends. I go on dates. Yet I still feel alone and empty. It's been three years since she walked out of my life. And every day the urge to just walk out of that window get bigger and bigger. I don't want to be here anymore. But I have no choice.

 

[thepotatoman]

So they say that the solution to anxiety is to not avoid the thing you're anxious about, and it'll get better after you do it more and more, right?

Well, since I got the perfect job for me november of last year, I've been doing a lot of that. Not always right away, and I've fallen into many downward spirals, but I'm proud I've worked myself out of them every time.

Problem is, my anxiety seems to be getting worse and worse, not better. It's like my willpower gets eaten away every time I have to work through it, and each downward spiral gets worse and harder to work out of.

Always the same stuff about worrying about not being able to do my assignment, making me want to avoid the assignment, or worried about social stuff to get help from coworkers, making want to avoid emailing or contacting them, and then getting to the point i've avoided everything so long I'm starting to lie and worry about the lies and being behind and everything goes to crap.

So I've forced my way out of that a lot, but every time is getting harder and harder, and the current downward spiral I'm in just seems impossible to work out of. I can't get out of it without being able to focus on writing emails and programing, but I can't focus when I'm having some of my worst panic attacks followed by complete and utter exhaustion.

Has anyone had this sort of thing happen to them? Any tips?

As much as I really really hate long term medications, I've started Fluoxetine out of desperation about 2 weeks ago but it hasn't helped at all yet, and I can't wait for months on end to find the right mix when I'm this bad off. I'm also doing therapy, which I think is helping a little bit, but practicing these new ways of thinking is hard when you're facing some of the worst and consistent anxiety attacks of your life.

 

[-Minsc-]

Christ, my life is a mess right now.

I work admin in a supermarket. I've been warning my superiors for ages now that money is going missing from the tills and I can't explain why (but there's a pattern that suggests that a particular staff member is either stealing or incredibly incompetent). What has management done about this? Fuck all. They've disregarded me and done nothing.

Now my manager decides to give a fuck about missing money. And she's blaming me, threatening to bring in loss prevention, even though I've been warning them over and over again to no avail. I'm genuinely worried and I really, really don't want to step foot in the store again. Rumour is my manager thinks she's going to be offered a better role and wants everything to be perfect, and it wouldn't be the first time she's hung a colleague out to dry for her own laziness and incompetence.

I'd leave, straight up walk out, but I need the money. In the meantime I'm just desperately searching for anything - I've been job hunting all year and failed interview after failed interview has just gotten me down. Now it seems even Christmas retail jobs don't want me. I'm terrified that I'm going to end up jobless and penniless, and there's nothing I can do about it.

To make things even better, I also have some weird fatigue issues going on right now. I struggle to stay awake beyond about 9pm or so, my mind just fogs over and I can't concentrate or anything. I can't sleep beyond about 6-7am though to fix my sleep pattern. And I often feel achey and ill these days too. I can sleep 8 hours and feel like I've not been to bed at all. It's frustrating.

Your store situation sounds quite similar to what a friend of my had to deal with at the store he works. He pulled through it all. Have you considered looking into non-retail jobs?

 

[Megalosaro]

Don't do it. If I can snap out of this shit, I think anyone can. Please seek help.

I never believed I could do it. Never. Ever. I was depressed for a very long time and things felt darker and darker as time went on. It became so hard to function I thought I might develop dementia or something. I'm 34 now and my depression set in during my teens I think. I only just got over it.

You can do it. Don't give up.

Just seems like an inevitability at this point. Every day it just seems closer to "
the end". My family is in ruins. My parents can't exist without my nephew. He moved to Wisconsin without them. It's so bad that they are going to move there next year. They want me to go with them, but I have no interest in it.

My best friend is growing. He has a potential job with Google. He will probably move up there. If it's not The Google, it will be somewhere else. He is constantly talking about "abandoning me" and shit like that. Says it will be for my own good.

I'm going to be all alone soon. I don't have a very tight social network. Not very many friends. My coworkers don't really like me that much. I have a reputation as a "fuck up". They view me as odd too.

Everything feels like it's ending.

 

[Pamplemousse]

I'm so depressed. This hot guy messaged me on Grindr, and I was all excited. Unfortunately, he asked whether I was masculine or effeminate. I know which one is preferred. I wish I could change my stupid voice. I hate it so much. It's so unfair that I have be stuck like this.

Everyone thinks the sad gay story is the repressed closeted guy story, but it's not. The sad story is the guy who doesn't even get the chance to ever be in any closet because his voice outs him immediately to everyone. It's awful. No other attractive guy is attracted to it for it obvious reasons. If you're attracted to other men, then a guy with a feminine voice won't turn you on. I hate that I had to be cursed like this. I despise it so much. It fills me with so much rage. If I could just stab it out of me, I'd do it so fast.

 

[Blues1990]

I want to know how you guys are able to cope with loneliness? I'm taking the necessary steps to neutralize it, but I feel frustrated that I always been the instigator to ask if my friends if they want to do something, but I never hear back. I thought making new connections and building new relationships could fix this, but history is repeating itself.

 

[neojubei]

I'm so depressed. This hot guy messaged me on Grindr, and I was all excited. Unfortunately, he asked whether I was masculine or effeminate. I know which one is preferred. I wish I could change my stupid voice. I hate it so much. It's so unfair that I have be stuck like this.

Everyone thinks the sad gay story is the repressed closeted guy story, but it's not. The sad story is the guy who doesn't even get the chance to ever be in any closet because his voice outs him immediately to everyone. It's awful. No other attractive guy is attracted to it for it obvious reasons. If you're attracted to other men, then a guy with a feminine voice won't turn you on. I hate that I had to be cursed like this. I despise it so much. It fills me with so much rage. If I could just stab it out of me, I'd do it so fast.

There are tons of guys out there that love effeminate guys, myself included. Most of the gay friends i go out with are effeminate dudes. I personally avoid dudes that want "masculine" or "straight-acting". For me a dude is a dude whether he is masculine or effeminate. As for me, i fall into the masculine to the point that i dont even register on gay men's gaydar. The few people who know i am gay have always told me they would have never have known if i didn't tell them. One friend, straight female, thought i was pretending to be gay to find girls until she saw me drunkingly kiss a mutual male friend of ours. It sucks because i could be trying to cruise a guy and he probably thinks i want to beat him up.

 

[jb1234]

I want to know how you guys are able to cope with loneliness? I'm taking the necessary steps to neutralize it, but I feel frustrated that I always been the instigator to ask if my friends if they want to do something, but I never hear back. I thought making new connections and building new relationships could fix this, but history is repeating itself.

I cry a lot. It actually drives me a little crazy.

 

[Astral Dog]

I'm so depressed. This hot guy messaged me on Grindr, and I was all excited. Unfortunately, he asked whether I was masculine or effeminate. I know which one is preferred. I wish I could change my stupid voice. I hate it so much. It's so unfair that I have be stuck like this.

Everyone thinks the sad gay story is the repressed closeted guy story, but it's not. The sad story is the guy who doesn't even get the chance to ever be in any closet because his voice outs him immediately to everyone. It's awful. No other attractive guy is attracted to it for it obvious reasons. If you're attracted to other men, then a guy with a feminine voice won't turn you on. I hate that I had to be cursed like this. I despise it so much. It fills me with so much rage. If I could just stab it out of me, I'd do it so fast.

Dont be sad Pample, im sure your voice is super cute and lots of guys adore feminine types, i think you need to use it with more confidence and stand out a bit more, with Pride 🌈

I want to know how you guys are able to cope with loneliness? I'm taking the necessary steps to neutralize it, but I feel frustrated that I always been the instigator to ask if my friends if they want to do something, but I never hear back. I thought making new connections and building new relationships could fix this, but history is repeating itself.

Try, talk, talk and talk, tell about your feelings, your favorite movies, your passions, your favorite music, tell jokes, be yourself and always practice.

If not, then lots of food, drugs and tv 😥

 

[Hey_Blinkin]

I want to know how you guys are able to cope with loneliness? I'm taking the necessary steps to neutralize it, but I feel frustrated that I always been the instigator to ask if my friends if they want to do something, but I never hear back. I thought making new connections and building new relationships could fix this, but history is repeating itself.

While I know it's not the healthiest way to live, I spend my time playing video games, watching Netflix, Neogaf, music, etc. Anything to keep my mind off of how lonely I am. I'm in my mid 30s and everyone I grew up with has moved on so I literally have no friends and have no dating experience. As sad as it is to say the people on this website that I've never met are some of the closest people in my life. I've been trying to go to local bars and be more outgoing but I just end up sitting at the bar by myself looking at my phone.

If I could give any advice it would be to never accept being alone like I did earlier in life. In my early twenties I damn near turned into a hermit and severed all ties with everyone outside of my immediate family. I just accepted the fact that I would always be alone and that was that. Now I'm struggling to get back out there and find something resembling a normal life.

 

[gaiages]

I want to know how you guys are able to cope with loneliness? I'm taking the necessary steps to neutralize it, but I feel frustrated that I always been the instigator to ask if my friends if they want to do something, but I never hear back. I thought making new connections and building new relationships could fix this, but history is repeating itself.

I just went through a mini breakdown myself today over this, heh. It's really a bad feeling to realize that, yet again, all these friends really didn't seem enthusiastic about being in my company once every few months, and when I decide to wait for them to contact me... that day never comes.

Unfortunately, the only solution I have right now is my healthy game backlog and somewhat forced isolation from not having a car (my boyfriend is also having a similar problem with some of his friends because the effort of driving to him is too much, even though we live in town and by no means in some bumfuck area. Like friends will legit berate him about him getting a car, and also offer him rides to get-togethers and conveniently forget to call him or pick him up or pick up the phone the day of, leaving him wondering if they're coming for hours). I mean, it really sucks.

If I find the answer to your question, I'll let you know. I thought I really had it last time with my last group of friends, but well, you know how that ended already I'm sure For now though, both me and my boyfriend have come to terms with the fact that we only have a couple decent friends that actually enjoy our company, and meeting new people in most scenarios is going to be hard without reliable transportation (or a bunch of Uber fees).

EDIT: Oh, my internet friends keep me sane. I don't talk about anything personal with them, but having a place to chat with fun people I'll probably never meet about video games no one I've met in real life has heard of is fun, if fleeting.

 

[jb1234]

While I know it's not the healthiest way to live, I spend my time playing video games, watching Netflix, Neogaf, music, etc. Anything to keep my mind off of how lonely I am. I'm in my mid 30s and everyone I grew up with has moved on so I literally have no friends and have no dating experience. As sad as it is to say the people on this website that I've never met are some of the closest people in my life. I've been trying to go to local bars and be more outgoing but I just end up sitting at the bar by myself looking at my phone.

You sound like me, haha. I dodge the bar scene, though. Not much there for me. Have you tried doing meetups? I've had a certain amount of success with those and would do more if my health were better. No lasting friendships (nor do I expect any) but it's nice to at least be around like-minded people.

 

[Pamplemousse]

There are tons of guys out there that love effeminate guys, myself included. Most of the gay friends i go out with are effeminate dudes. I personally avoid dudes that want "masculine" or "straight-acting". For me a dude is a dude whether he is masculine or effeminate. As for me, i fall into the masculine to the point that i dont even register on gay men's gaydar. The few people who know i am gay have always told me they would have never have known if i didn't tell them. One friend, straight female, thought i was pretending to be gay to find girls until she saw me drunkingly kiss a mutual male friend of ours. It sucks because i could be trying to cruise a guy and he probably thinks i want to beat him up.

Dont be sad Pample, im sure your voice is super cute and lots of guys adore feminine types, i think you need to use it with more confidence and stand out a bit more, with Pride 🌈

Thanks, guys. I guess it's nice hearing that some guys like it. I just don't like my voice this way. It's a lost cause at this point anyway. I've accepted that I won't have anyone for the remainder of my life regardless of my voice because I also have a physical problem that prevents me from being intimate with other guys. Then there's the issue of also just being generally unattractive. I digress. I just don't understand the point of this life.

 

[Blues1990]

Are there any good mobile apps that anyone would recommend to help with anxiety or depression?

MindShift was recommended to me by my psychologist. I've been using it whenever I feel anxious, & I think it's worth giving a shot. Best of all, it's free!

Try, talk, talk and talk, tell about your feelings, your favorite movies, your passions, your favorite music, tell jokes, be yourself and always practice.

I'm a bit confused with this advice. Do I need to talk to myself about my feelings, or to a close friend, about them?

While I know it's not the healthiest way to live, I spend my time playing video games, watching Netflix, Neogaf, music, etc. Anything to keep my mind off of how lonely I am. I'm in my mid 30s and everyone I grew up with has moved on so I literally have no friends and have no dating experience. As sad as it is to say the people on this website that I've never met are some of the closest people in my life. I've been trying to go to local bars and be more outgoing, but I just end up sitting at the bar by myself looking at my phone.

If I could give any advice it would be to never accept being alone like I did earlier in life. In my early twenties I damn near turned into a hermit and severed all ties with everyone outside of my immediate family. I just accepted the fact that I would always be alone and that was that. Now I'm struggling to get back out there and find something resembling a normal life.

While I'm not the sort to live the hermet life (my mind needs to be in the company of others to stay sane), those are wise words to live by. Thank you.

I just went through a mini breakdown myself today over this, heh. It's really a bad feeling to realize that, yet again, all these friends really didn't seem enthusiastic about being in my company once every few months, and when I decide to wait for them to contact me... that day never comes.

Unfortunately, the only solution I have right now is my healthy game backlog and somewhat forced isolation from not having a car (my boyfriend is also having a similar problem with some of his friends because the effort of driving to him is too much, even though we live in town and by no means in some bumfuck area. Like friends will legit berate him about him getting a car, and also offer him rides to get-togethers and conveniently forget to call him or pick him up or pick up the phone the day of, leaving him wondering if they're coming for hours). I mean, it really sucks.

If I find the answer to your question, I'll let you know. I thought I really had it last time with my last group of friends, but well, you know how that ended already I'm sure For now though, both me and my boyfriend have come to terms with the fact that we only have a couple decent friends that actually enjoy our company, and meeting new people in most scenarios is going to be hard without reliable transportation (or a bunch of Uber fees).

EDIT: Oh, my internet friends keep me sane. I don't talk about anything personal with them, but having a place to chat with fun people I'll probably never meet about video games no one I've met in real life has heard of is fun, if fleeting.

I in a similar boat like you & your significant other, as I'm getting tired of going to a multitude of socializing events & conventions with the goal of meeting new people, which results with one-sided relationships that eventually fizzles out. I get people are busy, and they are not obligated to call me if they don't want to.

But what's the point in gaining connections when it feels like you are not welcomed? I want to feel like people generally like me in their company. It's bullshit.

 

[NIGHT-]

I want to know how you guys are able to cope with loneliness? I'm taking the necessary steps to neutralize it, but I feel frustrated that I always been the instigator to ask if my friends if they want to do something, but I never hear back. I thought making new connections and building new relationships could fix this, but history is repeating itself.

I'm trying to make new friends. It's tough when you hit your 30's though. Sucks that I lost 2 of my closet friends recently. I miss them and the late nights we spent together

 

[Metalingus5150]

Honestly, whenever I'm at school, it's like every subject just makes me want to give up. There is always something going on, it's like I have to face reality of how things really are. I'm not bad at school, it's not that the content is bad, the content just makes me feel hopeless.

 

[Jonogunn]

I just fucked up in my relationship that has been the most stressful relationship I've ever been in. A lot to do is my fault and my fucking up and immaturities.

And now I lost her for real and for good this time and she treated me with the deepest of care and love anyone ever has and now she's gone and my heart can't take it.

I'm already so fucked up physically and mentally and in a low point of my life and now I have less and I have no one to blame but myself for getting where I am at now in life.

I keep finds ways to hit new lows in my life I dunno what I have left to go on.

 

[Curt Baboon]

God damn it, now I'm crying alone in my apartment.

I have always suffered from some form of depression (I've become extremely good at hiding it by now) but a few days ago the dumbest thing happened and now the last three years or so of my life have come rushing in to kick my ass. I have cried twice this past week, and I feel like I keep trying to force it just to release some energy. And I don't mean "cool-looking single tear followed by reflection" kind of crying, I mean sobbing uncontrollably while listing to certain music that I KNOW will make me feel bad.

I've gotten the idea of finally talking to a therapist or something, but I literally trust none of them. Not because I don't think it works, but because I live in Costa Rica and I don't feel comfortable trusting myself to some random person here; considering I studied Psychology for a few years at the local college and the thought of getting stuck with someone similar to my classmates seems to me like a gigantic waste of time.

Also, I have been drowning myself in drugs and other stuff for the last couple of years as a distraction; and it just got the point where it's obviously not working anymore (who could've seen that one coming!). I am great at making friends and I have no problem in most social situations, but I don't really feel connected to any of the people around me other than my (quite lovely) family. I have never had a girlfriend despite being pretty good looking and charismatic, which I know is entirely my fault for being so lethargic and self-centered for so long.

I guess I have never felt so lonely before, or at least I have never let it bother me until now. I feel like part of me absolutely loves who I am and the way I think, but that same part of myself is now making me more aware of how unhappy I am (and have been for a while).

I honestly have no idea how to do this. Now I don't want to eat, have had nausea pretty much all day for the past week and my body just feels all wrong. I've never seen this kind of depression before, and it's just ruining me.

...

Anyways, how was your day?

 

[redlegs87]

I want to know how you guys are able to cope with loneliness? I'm taking the necessary steps to neutralize it, but I feel frustrated that I always been the instigator to ask if my friends if they want to do something, but I never hear back. I thought making new connections and building new relationships could fix this, but history is repeating itself.

For the longest time I dealt with loneliness by shutting my self of from the world. From when I was 22 to 28 I barely ever left the house. I really don't know how I didn't go totally insane from boredom and zero human interaction outside of my mom and sister. I used games and music and the internet to occupy pretty much all my waking hours. Now that I am working and go out I find myself less reliant on games to keep me occupied. Outside of work I don't really hang with anyone yet but I am not really lonely anymore since I get my fill of interaction at work. Another reason is I am going to be meeting online friends at a convention next year so I have something to look forward to.

While I know it's not the healthiest way to live, I spend my time playing video games, watching Netflix, Neogaf, music, etc. Anything to keep my mind off of how lonely I am. I'm in my mid 30s and everyone I grew up with has moved on so I literally have no friends and have no dating experience. As sad as it is to say the people on this website that I've never met are some of the closest people in my life. I've been trying to go to local bars and be more outgoing but I just end up sitting at the bar by myself looking at my phone.

If I could give any advice it would be to never accept being alone like I did earlier in life. In my early twenties I damn near turned into a hermit and severed all ties with everyone outside of my immediate family. I just accepted the fact that I would always be alone and that was that. Now I'm struggling to get back out there and find something resembling a normal life.

Yeah don't shut yourself of from the world like us. Find interest groups in your area that you'd be willing to visit and meet new people. Whatever you do I hope you have the best of luck.

 

[Wag]

Guys, I'm afraid I'm going to be homeless. My parents tried to setup a trust for me and in the process screwed up my finances. I lost my SSI and am living on $540/mo. I still have to pay $400/mo rent + utilities.

I don't know what to do at this point. I've been living in my apartment for 23yrs. I've dealt with chronic depression and anxiety for most of my life and because of it and physical disabilities I've been unable to work. I'm trying to get out of this, but considering I'm in my late 40's now it's like I'm starting from the beginning. I'm just starting to feel better but things are moving very slowly.

I fear I'll end up living in a homeless shelter and get severely depressed and unable to function.

 

[Puck Beaverton]

election not helping with depression that I've been having. cynicism is throught roof and I feel unmotivated to do anything. future looks bleak fam

feeing good

 

[jacob armitage]

I really feel like keeping that "Yo Gaf it always gets better" thread open would be helpful.

 

[RoyaleDuke]

I think I am gonna smoke a pile of weed my friend gave me and watch enter the void.

then for the rest of the month I'm writing my novel, publishing it, writing a couple more and then I'm gone like Iggy Pop if I have the cash.

I'm done with people. Done with everything.


I got tired of whippin' fools and keepin' score
So I thought well fuck it man
I'll just pack my soul and scram

Paraguay.

Out of the way, I'll get away
Won't have to hear the things they say
Tamales and a Bank Account, are all I need so count me out

 

[Steamlord]

Trying to keep it together over here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6C8SX0mWP0&t=16s

 

[Empyrean Heaven]

I can't go on anymore. This country has shown that people like me with mental illnesses aren't welcome here anymore.

 

[boutrosinit]

I want to leave a piece of information I've been fortunate enough to discover through friends, mental health trauma (since worked through) and observation.

What depression seems to be, is a silent inner voice, and / or the physiology of said inner voice, minus the actual voice.

Imagine someone who's opinion you care about saying "You can't. You will fail. Don't bother. You're fat. You're stupid. You're ugly." And see the sensations and reactions you have on a mental and physiological level.

Now imagine that this is the tape playing through your entire being, every fucking day.

This, as far as I understand, is depression.


I am thankful I don't have to deal with that anymore.

I want you, whoever you are, to know that you can, you might fail, but if you do it's a learning experience so you don't fail next time (and it is actually important to be comfortable failing so you can learn to succeed, as many great successes before us will attest), DO bother, you might be fat, but it's a choice to change that if you want or need to. Many people who are considered ugly have done just fucking fine.


You'll start dying faster the moment you let this voice beat you. It's hard to start fighting against it, but it will get weaker and you'll get better. DO bother. DO fight.

 

[Pamplemousse]

What depression seems to be, is a silent inner voice, and / or the physiology of said inner voice, minus the actual voice.

Imagine someone who's opinion you care about saying "You can't. You will fail. Don't bother. You're fat. You're stupid. You're ugly." And see the sensations and reactions you have on a mental and physiological level.

Now imagine that this is the tape playing through your entire being, every fucking day.

This, as far as I understand, is depression.

This is so accurate. I hear these things every single day on a loop in my mind. The problem is that I agree with them. The voice is right.

 

[Psychoward]

my depression has flared up again because of the election results and I hate how we as a society still don't accept mental health

i know i can't come in to work tomorrow and even though it's only a retail job with plenty of people already working during my shift i had to make up some bullshit about having a fever because I know my manager wouldn't get it if i just said i was feeling too depressed to work on my feet for 8 hours