Meta GAF |ON| Gaf on Gaf

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Aww yiss, when the neighbor kid came over earlier and my wife wasn't here I'm like nahhh go away, I'm not dealing with that.

Wife comes home, kid comes back, now her hair is tangled up in my kid's drone blades and the wife is like freaking out that she might need to cut this girl's hair. Yeah dude that's why I said go the fuck away earlier, what is you thinking inviting her in??

Women. Amirite
 
My wife was just invited to go see Die Hard: The Musical tonight by a few of her friends. They only have the one extra ticket.

I'm quite jealous.
 
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I feel like if dropping off your kid on a Monday feels like you're in Nintendo 64 you should be able to just go back to bed
 
*middle of the night fridge run*

Oh shit we got chocolate milk in this bitch? alright…
 
*middle of the night fridge run*

Oh shit we got chocolate milk in this bitch? alright…

This is me with Jalapeno cheese. I have mostly stopped after dinner snacking this year but I still see this in the fridge, when grabbing a drink in the middle of the night, and have that I-must-devour-the-whole-block feeling tugging at the back of my mind.

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This is me with Jalapeno cheese. I have mostly stopped after dinner snacking this year but I still see this in the fridge, when grabbing a drink in the middle of the night, and have that I-must-devour-the-whole-block feeling tugging at the back of my mind.

mv_jalapeno.ashx
Bro the cranberry jalapeño onion cilantro cream cheese spread my wife made demands I shove that shit in my mouth with a wheat thin…somehow I'm still making weight right now, but barely
 
One of my reports said "what the fuck?" about something to me today and then was like oops, and I said no fam. You just went up a notch
 
I can only repeat myself:

You guys are so darn cute ❤️

It's like coming home and listening to my dad who recently discovered "X".

"Look look, that one lady liked my post. I even got a heart emoji from her. But then there's this one poster. I mean what does that even mean "toxic masculinity"? I'm not toxic! I'm gonna write an email!"

I Feel This Love GIF by Danica McKellar
 
I can only repeat myself:



It's like coming home and listening to my dad who recently discovered "X".

"Look look, that one lady liked my post. I even got a heart emoji from her. But then there's this one poster. I mean what does that even mean "toxic masculinity"? I'm not toxic! I'm gonna write an email!"

I Feel This Love GIF by Danica McKellar
Can you pinch my cheek too?

one on my face don't make it weird
 
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