I have some thoughts on Metroid: Samus Returns.
The atmosphere is nonexistent
Which is weird as hell for a Metroid game. I honestly can't tell you what the difference is between any two areas in the game. They're all the goddamn same. The backgrounds look nigh identical, the enemies are mostly palette swaps, and there's no variety in the challenges any given environment presents. It'd be one thing if the areas at least looked cool, but can anyone honestly tell the difference between what we have here and what's in any given sci-fi-themed shovelware launched on Steam last month?
Super Metroid owed a huge amount of its success to the strength of its atmosphere. Remember when you were in Brinstar, and then entered the red soil area, and the
creepy music kicked in? And then you got to the tubes that eventually lead to Maridia, and you realize that it's gotten super dark, and you start noticing all the subtle details like the glow of Samus' visor that's illuminating your way. It's moody, it's evocative, and this sort of feeling permeated the entire game. Reaching a new area was exciting, because you had no idea what was around the corner, but you knew it was going to be new and exciting.
That is what gave Super Metroid such a satisfying sense of progression.
Samus Returns has precisely none of that.
The music is terrible
Which kind of goes hand-in-hand with the lackluster atmosphere. It's not aggressively bad; it's arguably worse -- just plain
boring. It's generic, "atmospheric" schlock that adds precisely nothing to the proceedings. The lone exceptions are the the Norfair theme and the
later in the game, because they have some actual musical merit. Unfortunately, somebody else wrote those songs decades ago, so I'm not giving credit to whoever lead the charge here.
I was thinking back to that story about how that deaf guy at Capcom wrote the soundtrack for Resident Evil: Dual Shock, and that's why we had
that basement theme that sounded like somebody farting in a circus. That was terrible music, too, but at least I remembered it.
The controls are clumsy as hell
I did not feel like I had adequate precision at any point in the game. There are a lot of things contributing to this. Being forced to use the circle pad in a 2D games is just nonsense, and the 3DS' uncomfortable form factor doesn't exactly make dealing with it any easier. But then, there's the myriad smaller problems like the delay between when you can shoot and use your counter attack, the clunky touch interface for swapping weapons, the spider ball randomly changing directions on you in tight spaces, the needlessly difficult-to-aim grapple beam, etc. Then you factor in the 30fps frame rate in what's otherwise a fast-paced action game. It adds up, and feels like a mess in those dicier segments where you really need to be in command.
The power-ups are lame
Really, this was just the worst batch of abilities I could imagine. The ice shot is annoying, because you'll end up freezing most enemies, rather than killing them, so they just become an obstacle. The Aeion lightning armor ability is a waste of everyone's fucking time -- you use it to move past those red plants, and that's uh... it. It has no practical use outside of that. The beam burst just makes me angry. It's a more powerful shot that can actually kill shielded enemies, but isn't that why I have missiles?
Wait, why are the missiles so useless, anyway? It looks like you're firing a pea shooter when you use them, and they don't hurt like... any of the armored enemies you would actually hope to kill with them. And they give you so damn many of them -- there's this wild imbalance when scavenging for new items where I would constantly find more missiles, but no energy tanks. But I actually
wanted energy tanks, whereas if I had the stock 30 missiles or whatever it was that you start the game with, I would've been just fine. But now, I have more than 100, but no energy for the beam burst that actually hurts enemies. Mother. Fuck.
Anyway, pretty much all of the abilities you get in the game are basically just keycards for locked doors. You'll use them to get past one obstacle, but they rarely increase your ability to explore the world, and they generally don't do much to aid you in combat. It's woefully unsatisfying, and after a while, I lost any enthusiasm for finding new gear, because, well... who cares? That feeling was only amplified once I realized that...
The exploration is a scam
Samus Returns is an illusory Metroid game. It is, for all intents and purposes, a completely linear experience. You trudge through an area, kill the requisite number of Metroids, return to the statue, and move onto the next level... and that's kind of it. There's little to no incentive to return to previous areas once you've finished them, even after you've obtained a bevy of new abilities. You're not going to go back to a previous area and uncover a swath of new territory to explore or some nifty secrets. There are no tantalizing, just out of reach areas to pull you back, and you know in the back of your head that all you're really going to find is more goddamn missiles (which, fuck's sake, nobody really needed or wanted more of, ever.) Samus Returns' idea of exploration is backtracking to open a different colored door. Whoopty fucking doo.
Problem is, this is Metroid's fucking wheelhouse. That's why people have so much reverence for this franchise. It's because the more you play, the more freeing it is. You realize, "oh yeah, I can get through that earlier area now," so you head back. But on your way, you'll realize that the ledge you couldn't reach is now accessible, that the other power-up you got lets you break through that wall you
totally forgot about, and then you get sidetracked by this totally different thing that you never expected to pop up. There's cool shit to find and meaningful new spaces to explore just by randomly going off the beaten path.
And hey, I get it -- that's tough to do. That's why so many have aspired to Super Metroid's level of design and fallen short. But you have to at least
try, right? That's why the exploration in Samus Returns falls flat. There is no sense of discovery, and even if there was, there would be nothing interesting to find, given how the game doles out its power-ups.
The counter attack was a mistake
Okay, so the counter attack was kind of a cool idea, and the first time you do it in-game, it's pretty slick. By the 3rd or 4th time you do it, it's not. It's fine to give a Metroid game some sort of twist, but when the execution is just "enemies dive bomb you a lot, and you can't really do much about it," you should probably reevaluate. The melee attack shtick gets old in a hurry, and in a Metroid game, I really just want to shoot enemies. I'm a simple man.
I think the developers must've realized this at some point, too, so their solution was to give almost all the enemies armor, so that your guns are pretty much useless. So now, when you encounter an enemy, you should stop, wait for them to come to you, counter them, and
then shoot them... like I wanted to do in the first fucking place. It's functional, but it comes at the expense of flow. And it doesn't even work very well, thanks to the clunky controls. You can't counter an enemy on the other side of you by simply hitting the button, but turning around and then countering can take too long. You can't cancel out of shooting to counter, so being logical and firing your weapons to weaken the enemy and countering to finish them off isn't really a viable tactic. The delay after performing a counter, and then using it again takes too long, making it impossible to dispatch two enemies who decide to dive bomb you at the same time. It's a lot of small problems that make the whole thing feel woefully unpolished. Past a certain point, I just wanted to run past enemies instead of getting caught up in their passive aggressive bullshit, but you kinda can't do that, either.
It's one thing to introduce a new combat mechanic into the game, but it's another thing entirely to force me to rely so heavily on it; particularly when it cuts against the the rest of the game's design.
The enemies are annoying and shitty
Which is I'm pretty sure, the direct result of wanting to put the counter mechanic front and center. Your weapons, particularly early on, are just not powerful enough, and then there's all the armored foes that you basically have to counter in order to kill. But did they have to be so goddamn obnoxious, even beyond that? There are slugs that leave behind some green goo that hurts you if you step in it, so they'll randomly block off areas you want to go until you kill them and wait for the green stuff to disappear. Oh, and they're armored, so... deal with that, too. The masses of mosquitoes take an eternity to kill, and damage you quite a bit. You're supposed to use the beam burst to kill them, but honestly... how does that make it any more fun or challenging? The jellyfish looking things that are basically just cannon fodder eventually electrify entire platforms at random, which makes getting from point A to point B in certain rooms a complete pain; again, without adding any fun or challenge.
And then, there are the Metroids. I know they based this on Metroid II, where you had to kill 40 Metroids, but
holy shit, it did not have to be this repetitive. There's nowhere near enough variation on the Metroids' attack patterns to justify fighting 40 fucking Metroids. You'll fight one that has the power of electricity, and then you fight one with the power of fire, and... they're the same damn fight. Nothing changes, and there is nothing unique for you, the player, to experience. Eventually, you'll encounter more "sophisticated" Metroids that scurry away to a different room after you damage them, so you have to find them again and restart the fight. I'm guessing the developers played Monster Hunter, saw that they did that exact same thing, and were like "us, too -- we can do this!" Except, it makes no fucking sense here, and makes 40 Metroids feel like 400.
Holy hell are the graphics bad
I mean, just fugly. Art design is subjective, sure, but Jesus, it just looks like
crap. Why all the bizarre color palettes? So many sections just seem to use a million different shades of brown and orange, which not only looks like garbage; it results in enemies getting lost in the background. That's just amateurish. The whole game looks painfully low-rez, too, probably because it is, and the gaudy bloom lighting only makes the game more of a hazy, blurry mess. And this runs at an unstable 30fps? Really? If that's the best they can do with the tech, they should've gone back to the (literal) drawing board.
Here's the thing. Super Metroid came out 23 years ago. It looked great at the time, and it looks great now. It runs at basically the same resolution. Samus Returns should've been sprite-based, particularly in light of the hardware constraints. There's always some goober that raises the point that, "well, 2D sprites are expensive, an indie studio like Nintendo can't afford that!" Fuck you. I don't care if it's expensive, I care about the end product... and frankly, that's Nintendo's problem to solve anyway. All I see is this:
You're telling me that more than 2 decades of tech and design advancement lead to
that? And that's without factoring in how much more smoothly Super Metroid runs. We could do this same experiment with Metroid Fusion from 2002 or Zero Mission from 2004, and the result would be the same. It's shit.
So, uh...
Yeah. The game has some serious fucking problems. I think it's worth playing for Metroid fans, but I think the only 2D Metroid worse than it is...
*shock* Metroid II. If you stripped away the Metroid veneer, you'd be left with another passable indie game where the developers were obviously inspired by Metroid, but clearly didn't get what made it good.