wow, I really wish Corvo was still around to get his take on that article. I totally agree with it. But then I don't really know what the church is supposed to do about it. I mean they create this sort of chasm.
Baby
Nursery
Primary
Young Men/Young women (no dating until 16, nothing beyond basic kissing and even that should be restrained)
Mission
<Emptyness>
Marriage
Kids
????
Since they can't really drink or party hard or make out or anything most people that age do I don't really know what else they're supposed to do other than act like stunted adults.
I've read the article and am giving it a thought as I go, which I am learning ever more is a strategy I ought not to employ, my tongue being considerably quicker to move than my brain to think reasonably.
That said, I cannot, completely, agree with the editorial's main point: that the treatment of YSA renders them infantile. I
do agree that there
is an emotional, mental, whatever we'd like to term it
gap into which the post-missionary (or, as is the case for no small number, non-mission-serving) young single adults fall in to. At times, it feels as though the time spent as a YSA is viewed more as an error, than a period in which a young person ought to be figuring themselves out. Make no mistake: I love and feel loved by my Branch Presidency, and my feeling out-of-place in branches has more to do with the fact that I bounce between branches than the organization thereof, but there can be no denying that the YSA period of one's life is viewed as unfortunate in an unspoken sort of way. Which is to say, nothing is said, the days when one was a "menace to society" have by and large faded from my experience, but where the young adult who weds is lauded and the envy of his friends, the single adult is still adrift.
But I'm going off track from what I want to say. I don't agree that it makes one infantile, but I DO agree that the young single adult period does leave one in an awkward, unusual phase that does leave its own scars. It's been my experience that as a YSA more emphasis is put upon doing the "macho" things than the infantile. To have employment, status, and purchasing power, in addition to physique and skill or talent render one more apt to excel in the ring, so to speak. I'm sure those of you familiar with the YSA scene will recall those scenes on Sundays where the one pretty boy or one pretty girl has an entire row of the opposite sex at their beck and call.
I confess I haven't spent a lot of time with young women at school this last year, my fall semester having been dominated by a full schedule, my winter by the great misfortune of only meeting women beneath my age range. What time I HAVE spent with them, though, I would consider normal behavior for people my age: Watching scary movies, participating in sports, sharing meals or what have you. What my roommates who had girlfriends did with them in private is beyond my capacity to say, since, well, I wasn't exactly present.
But there is merit to what is being said. It's been discussed here and is becoming, only slowly, a topic of discussion in Rexburg (usually among the more open-minded faculty) that the population is woefully repressed sexually, and that the faculty literature does nothing to alleviate this. Which is to say, while the Law of Chastity must be upheld, and wisdom cautions that physical contact must have limitations, there is no reason that we ought to call down the puritanical hellfire some members of the faculty launch against the dread scourge of the NCMO or Non-committal Make Out.
I don't think Scavenger Hunts are so bad, but I also like Obstacle Courses and Capture the Flag, so what do I know? Blanket forts, sure, that might be going a bit far. However, I'd like to point out this problem is one I would consider largely characteristic of the American Church. None of my companions in Brazil seemed so puritanical, and to be honest, the first time that anyone in the Church ever spoke frankly to me about sex was on my Mission: which is a failure of colossal proportions to follow through with what is being taught. I have a father, and yes, my father did sit and talk to me and teach me because that's what dad's do, but I think it is only fair to say that a young man requires more than JUST his dad, and when he has so many men he is being told to look to, and they're taking the time to speak about sex on some level, then he is owed, at the very least, a little frankness.
As you can see, I'm not at all very organized with this, so I'll just try and sum up: I don't think the YSA is becoming infantile, since so much focus is being put on growing up, but I concede that the YSA are sort of left hanging out there, waiting to get on a bus either to the SA or the family wards, which is a directionless and unfortunate state. I think that the unwillingness to even
discuss sex beyond condemnation of its sinful employ is a major stumbling block the modern American Church must over come, and it does leave the young single adults feeling out of place and odd among their non-member peers.
Above all, though, for me, is the very odd, open-ended nature of the post-mission path for a member of the Church. When I came home from my Mission, I
crashed because life was just so different. I felt aimless, forgotten, and completely lost. I'd gone two years in a completely different world, and come home to find that everything was different, the same, and nobody cared after I'd lost my "shine". Those same stares of "Why haven't you left for your mission yet?" were and are replaced with "Why aren't you wed yet?" At least, I felt that way. Getting it back together again was hard for me, if not for others, and it feels indicative of the fact that there is just a big empty space for YSA.
I don't really know how helpful this is, or informative, or whatever. I can only really describe what it is like from my own point of view, that for an RM who has come home, life is a bit disappointing at times. That said, it isn't ALL awful. I've had some good experiences as a Young Single Adult. Some fun at FHE (though I suppose it is juvenile), College is becoming a more enjoyable experience as I learn to make it so, and the like. Some spiritual experiences, too. Life can be frustrating as a YSA sometimes, and the temptation to blame it all on being a member can be big, too, but as I said, there's fun to be had, and not all of it juvenile.
Speaking of people who don't go to single's ward, there was this one girl I met at a dinner awhile back who doesn't go to single's wards because well who needs a good reason. I really out to find a way to run into her again . . .
Nearly 6 years and 2 kids later, still going strong and loving life. My Patriarchal blessing indicated that my wife would always be able to stay home and take care of the kids and we would have enough money for the bills. and somehow, it has always worked out. We have always had enough to go around... 
