My Girlfriend Keeps Getting Stoned All Day and Playing Fallout

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This thread is just fascinating.

If the genders were reversed and it was a girlfriend complaining about her pot smoking boyfriend, nobody would be saying these things (of course assuming OPs info is accurate).

I would, but then again, I smoke weed and play video games all day.
 
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This thread is just fascinating.

If the genders were reversed and it was a girlfriend complaining about her pot smoking boyfriend, nobody would be saying these things (of course assuming OPs info is accurate).

People would just default to him being a troglodyte and not worth the OP's time, regardless of his side of the story.
 
This thread is just fascinating.

If the genders were reversed and it was a girlfriend complaining about her pot smoking boyfriend, nobody would be saying these things (of course assuming OPs info is accurate).

bu ... but videogames and pot are the only important things in a relationship! /s
 
So this is a troll thread, right?

I mean, someone took a post from some other website and changed the genders to see how we'd react differently?
 
If we replaced "habitually smokes weed" with "devotes copious amounts of time to video game podcast" or whatever happens to be your drug of choice would it make it better for you John? Are you hating because of the illicit drug use?

are you being purposely dense and contrarian because you're bored?

you could replace "smokes weed" with "anything that is potentially disruptive to the relationship" and my stance would be the same. why are you singling out the drug-use reference anyway? the "plays videogames" part can potentially be as damaging as "smoking weed" if it presents an obstruction to having a fruitful and enjoyable intimate relationship.
 
Chill, bro.

Relationship dynamics in today's world isn't like a scene between Don and Betty.

It's almost like you have never been in a relationship with such an overreaction.

The overaction being her new crazy love of Fallout and blunts or this dude getting all flustered because someone isn't fitting his pre-envisioned mold perfectly?

It's not even that... i'll try to cut down on the snark. I get the whole feeling ignored and being kind of pissed off because I've had to find a comfortable middle ground with my lady over the years and it's definitely not 11 hours of gaming to one 20 minute conversation then head+bed. But when a game is coming out that I KNOW i'm gonna fall in love with my wife usually knows it as well and at some point i have the "Hey... so you know i'm gonna be a fucking robot for a few days right?" And she smiles and nods and is like "of course you are you freak of nature. Better eat and sleep now before 12:00 thursday hits." ... cause we understand each other and know each other.

This is not even mentioning how insane it is for me to have someone take a picture of a dirty apt, put it up on a forum he visits regularly and basically be like "I can't believe she isn't cleaning up this mess for me!" ... Maybe it comes from living alone and with many other roomates and people but if I want my space to be clean? It's fuckin clean. And if I have an issue with the way someone is treating my space - neverfuckingmind if it's someone close/intimate to my life like a girlfriend/fiance/wife - you're godamned right i'm gonna talk to her about it DIRECTLY. Not beat around the bush. not "We need to talk .." ... but turn off the tv "Hey. Dude. Look around you... help me clean this place now..." instead of feeling entitled. I dunno.. everyone has their own ways I suppose..

You sound like someone who is trying way to hard to impress people on the internet.

Is it working? ..... it's not working is it.
 
This thread is just fascinating.

If the genders were reversed and it was a girlfriend complaining about her pot smoking boyfriend, nobody would be saying these things (of course assuming OPs info is accurate).

It's just the way it is. I think both genders will never see eye-to-eye on everything and will value different attributes. Relationships are about compromising these differences.

It's the same reason why posters in this thread are saying she's perfect because on paper she is... Until they are in a relationship like the OP's and it's not so cute anymore.
 
I do wonder if we swapped the situation with the opposite personality type, a sober, church-going soccer mom driven to always "be places" and "doing things" what the reaction would be. That kind of woman would be my nightmare.

If be places and doing things means copious amounts of shopping that would be my nightmare.
 
OP....

This is what you do.

1. Roll a jay
2. Watch porn, get rock hard
3. Put on bathrobe of some sort
4. Light jay
5. Walk in front of the TV while she's playing
6. Drop robe, show her your stuff

If she doesn't fuck you immediately.....

You're fucked.
 
this doesn't actually pertain to my comment like you think it does. i was speaking to the seemingly short list of qualifications people have for a "good girlfriend". it's clear that the OP cares about his girlfriend and the relationship, he wouldn't have made the thread if he didn't.
It's not just those things. You're completely discounting how OP says his girlfriend usually acts. He essentially described her as an awesome girlfriend up until the last few weeks.

If the biggest complaint he has with his relationship is that once every 10 years she finds a game to get obsessed with for a few weeks, I'd say he caught a winner. That's why I said all he has to do is wait for her obsession to blow over. It's a phase that what seems like a usually awesome girlfriend is going through.
 
Ok so, a few months ago, I got really into Fallout 3 and New Vegas. I played the shit out of them, but always did so on my own time. I'd always mention to my girlfriend how blown away I was by the games until I finally finished playing them.

So a couple weeks ago, she randomly started playing the game on her own. I thought it was neat cause I could talk to her about how great the game is if she ended up getting into it.

Any ways, she's become a monster. All she does with her free time now is get high, and play Fallout til she goes to bed. She's well on her way to getting 100% in the game, and I will admit she had quite an awesome character.

But still, its been weeks of this now. I come home from work, she's just there stoned playing Fallout. She doesn't talk to me all night, never cooks any more, we don't go out for walks or dinner, just Fallout, Fallout, Fallout. Worst part is knowing how pumped she is for New Vegas.

I don't know what to do. I feel like the redditors wife meme. I try to talk to her about it, but she just make Jerry Seinfeld style jokes about creatures in Fallout "Whats the deal with these super mutants? What makes them so super any ways?". Oh, and she always has the Fallout soundtrack on if she finds herself doing non Fallout related things.

Some times, I'll wake up in the middle of the night, and hear Three Dogs voice. Its the worst shit ever.

Guys, I don't know what to do. Please help.

Sounds like the gender roles swapped, OP.

This reminds me of the steorotypical scenario, of a boyfriend too distracted watching TV sports day in-day out to pay attention to his surroundings.
 
I would say that people have different life goals which produce dramatically different responses to different activities.

Some people just want to have relax and have fun; that is, they view these activities as the purpose of life. Given that as a starting position, then of course the girlfriend's behavior is not only acceptable, it's "living the dream."

I can understand why some are talking about low standards vs right standards, but the crux of the matter is that she doesn't have this lifestyle according to the OP. This is a phase, so far a phase that has lasted a couple of weeks.

The OP can always opt to talk to her and drag her out of the house, so that they can focus on each other. I imagine one of the real reasons this has yet to happen is because most likely his gf isn't the only one smoking heavy, and therefore the OP's willingness to act has diminished greatly, and it's easier to make a thread on neogaf. They live together so I'm assuming they didn't start dating 2 months ago. There seems to be a lack of communication in the OP's relationship, and fixing that would be the first thing on the to do list.

Also there is no purpose in life aside from happiness, and that's what you do your whole life (reach for it). Some people find it in small shit, others in ambition. Some guys want gf's who are into games and never manage to find one that suits them, that's why you get a bunch of posts talking about how great it should be. On the other hand I get a feeling many folks are looking for a robot tailor made to them, a soul mate of the digital age. People go through atypical shit during periods in their lives, if a guy can't handle a gf that goes through a period like this, maybe he really should put on a profile on okcupid and search for his digital soul mate.
 
It's not just those things. You're completely discounting how OP says his girlfriend usually acts. He essentially described her as an awesome girlfriend up until the last few weeks.

If the biggest complaint he has with his relationship is that once every 10 years she finds a game to get obsessed with for a few weeks, I'd say he caught a winner. That's why I said all he has to do is wait for her obsession to blow over. It's a phase that what seems like a usually awesome girlfriend is going through.

...i'm not discounting anything because i wasn't talking about the OPs girlfriend in the original post you quoted. i haven't expressed my thoughts about the original topic whatsoever, just that some people seem to expect less from their partners than others. you're critiquing an opinion i haven't even expressed, calm down.

for the record i agree with you. i did the same thing with Fallout 3 as a matter of fact. i spent about a month of doing nothing but playing that game from the time i got home from work until it was time to go to bed. i was dealing with some major life changes at the time and i just needed to escape for awhile.

if her behavior was otherwise acceptable/enjoyable/normal to OP, there is obviously a reason her behavior has recently changed. whether or not she's using the weed and the game to deal with something unrelated, or it just so happens that this is something she does every so often is up to the OP to find out and handle (or not).
 
Also there is no purpose in life aside from happiness, and that's what you do your whole life (reach for it). Some people find it in small shit, others in ambition. Some guys want gf's who are into games and never manage to find one that suits them, that's why you get a bunch of posts talking about how great it should be.

Absolutely, some people believe this, while others do not -- that was my point. If your only goal is happiness and this is what makes you happy, then of course the girlfriend is "living the dream."

There are really two conversations going on here now; first, people who are actually addressing the OP's concerns, and second, people having a meta-conversation about what makes a good girlfriend/person/etc.
 
This thread is just fascinating.

If the genders were reversed and it was a girlfriend complaining about her pot smoking boyfriend, nobody would be saying these things (of course assuming OPs info is accurate).

On the contrary, people might say the same. I image there are gaffers that do or will defend getting stoned all day and playing Fallout lol

Girl with no social life is stealth brag?

Doesn't have a social life? It sounds like shes smart doing it with her own free time (as the OP pointed out) and is in a (seemingly) healthy relationship....It seems like shes just on a gaming binge. I mean...cmon...who here hasn't had that. Even the OP said "I played the shit out of them, but always did so on my own time."...I don't know the full details but that pic and pointing out a 'hardcore' game like Fallout and how cool her character is...I just got a stealth brag feel to this. I could be wrong. If so, OP just bring it up and talk to her about it. Be wary she could throw it in your face and say you did the same exact thing. lol
 
Absolutely, some people believe this, while others do not -- that was my point. If your only goal is happiness and this is what makes you happy, then of course the girlfriend is "living the dream."

There are really two conversations going on here now; first, people who are actually addressing the OP's concerns, and second, people having a meta-conversation about what makes a good girlfriend/person/etc.

Everybody's only goal is happiness. A human being who doesn't mind living his life depressed doesn't really stay sane too long.

And yeah you're right, there's two discussions taking place. One of them sounds a bit useless to me in the context of the thread, and I don't think a couple of "living the dream" snipes should be taken into consideration as full blown lifestyle options, and rather take it in context. The Op's problem seems incredibly easy to fix.
 
Everybody's only goal is happiness. A human being who doesn't mind living his life depressed doesn't really stay sane too long.

That is clearly not true.

Different people have different life goals -- that much should be obvious. It's a very complicated discussion that can't possibly be contained in this thread, but I think it goes without saying that not everyone agrees with your premise that happiness is literally the only goal.
 
Only thing you need to do is talk to her. If she isn't willing to compromise for your relationship or communicate sincerely with you then you need to tell her she WILL be spending time with you or you're through.

Do you really want to be in a relationship where a piece of plastic is more important to her than spending time with you?

That being said if you're REALLY desperate and have tried talking to her sabotage the game or console.

The kind of "relationship" you're currently in is not a healthy one.
 
That is clearly not true.

Different people have different life goals -- that much should be obvious. It's a very complicated discussion that can't possibly be contained in this thread, but I think it goes without saying that not everyone agrees with your premise on what everyone's life goals are, and insisting that it's true and that anyone who disagrees must be sad and/or insane only sounds deliberately provocative without providing much evidence for your hypothesis.

How is that clearly not true? The only thing that changes is what makes you happy. Even in sacrifice, you do so based on the outcome that will make you happier. I don't see how anybody out there has a life goal of taking the necessary steps to be sad and depressed. That's simply not how your brain acts, which is why depression exists. It comes from an inability to find silver linings and feel happy about what little or not you have.
 
How is that clearly not true? The only thing that changes is what makes you happy. Even in sacrifice, you do so based on the outcome that will make you happier. I don't see how anybody out there has a life goal of taking the necessary steps to be sad and depressed. That's simply not how your brain acts, which is why depression exists. It comes from an inability to find silver linings and feel happy about what little or not you have.

My simple response: this is a tautology. If you're suggesting that anything anyone wants to do they do because it makes them happy, then of course by definition the only goal is happiness, because people want to do things... that they want to do. This isn't a valuable definition that provides specificity, would be my argument.

My more complex response: this is far too complex a discussion for what is already a messy thread. Again, you will not find that philosophers, ethicists or moralists all universally agree that happiness is clearly the only goal for humans in life and that's that. It doesn't mean you're wrong, mind you, it just means this a far more complex discussion than you're giving it credit for here.
 
I think it's fascinating (as others have remarked) that if the gender roles were reversed, the pot-smoking, Fallout 3 playing boyfriend would be considered a complete loser, yet there are some who are like 'this girl sounds like a winner.'

I'm neutral on the matter myself (I think the OP's relationship dynamics with her aren't made fully available to us because... well, of course he's gonna bias the story towards himself and leave out key details) but I just know if I told posted what a bitch my GF can be and how crazy/clingy/possessive she can be, yet then posted pics of her playing Tearaway on Vita in her bra and panties, I'd get about the same result.

And to OP: You guys really need to talk. And you need to come to an understanding instead of letting the issue build up.
 
My simple response: this is a tautology. If you're suggesting that anything anyone wants to do they do because it makes them happy, then of course by definition the only goal is happiness, because people want to do things... that they want to do. This isn't a valuable definition that provides specificity, would be my argument.

My more complex response: this is far too complex a discussion for what is already a messy thread. Again, you will not find that philosophers, ethicists or moralists all universally agree that happiness is clearly the only goal for humans in life and that's that. It doesn't mean you're wrong, mind you, it just means this a far more complex discussion than you're giving it credit for here.

I'm suggesting that what a mentally normal person does is trade offs. People don't do things that they want to do, because in many cases you have to do what you don't want to do. But the reason you do it, is because you follow rationale. It either makes you directly happy, or somebody else happy that in the end it will make you happier than another solution, or it might be a situation that is defined by a moral compass where you only get any happiness from it in the long term.

Hence, framing the argument as "if the only thing you want in life is to be happy" is a deceiving proposition. That doesn't really matter for the discussion, since that's a general rule in life. Trying to define what happiness is, or rather real happiness, is what you will find theologians, philosophers and ethicists arguing about.

But yes, you are depressingly right in that even though I would love to discuss this and all its complexities (I love to learn either way, even when I'm bitterly wrong), this is the wrong thread.
 
I think it's fascinating (as others have remarked) that if the gender roles were reversed, the pot-smoking, Fallout 3 playing boyfriend would be considered a complete loser, yet there are some who are like 'this girl sounds like a winner.'

I'm neutral on the matter myself (I think the OP's relationship dynamics with her aren't made fully available to us because... well, of course he's gonna bias the story towards himself and leave out key details) but I just know if I told posted what a bitch my GF can be and how crazy/clingy/possessive she can be, yet then posted pics of her playing Tearaway on Vita in her bra and panties, I'd get about the same result.

And to OP: You guys really need to talk. And you need to come to an understanding instead of letting the issue build up.

It's not really that fascinating. He posted this on a gaming forum full of people who think getting high and playing Fallout all day sounds like a great time. There are many guys out there who would consider what she's doing 'loser'ish behavior.
 
I couldn't live with a person who's continually stoned and does nothing all day.
My girlfriend gets on my ass for not picking up my clothes off the bedroom floor in the morning and I tell her to get out of my way when I clean up the bathroom.

Both of us get angry as fuck when we have to clean, not at eachother, but simply at messes. Fuck things that get dirty man. Fortunately all that aggression gets taken out on eachother in other ways following the weekend cleanings.
 
I couldn't live with a person who's continually stoned and does nothing all day.
My girlfriend gets on my ass for not picking up my clothes off the bedroom floor in the morning and I tell her to get out of my way when I clean up the bathroom.

Both of us get angry as fuck when we have to clean, not at eachother, but simply at messes. Fuck things that get dirty man. Fortunately all that aggression gets taken out on eachother in other ways following the weekend cleanings.

Just fuck on top of the mess.
 
So you have a super chilled girlfriend that doesn't complain or moan about anything you do AND likes video games? I'm not seeing the problem.
 
So you have a super chilled girlfriend that doesn't complain or moan about anything you do AND likes video games? I'm not seeing the problem.

She doesn't complain or moan about anything the OP does because she is too busy addicted to a game currently.

Honestly I feel a little bad for the OP, best thing to do is talk to her about it.
 
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