I'll bring this to the basics. Someone in the group says "Ready to rock and roll?" with a reply "ready." and they fly and follow just fine.
Someone says "We should slow down. It doesn't look like both of us could make it at this speed." with a reply "Heh." and speeding up. We can interpret this as LD not listening to RD's statement. RD said they wouldn't make it at this speed. LD didn't listen. Result: they didn't make it, as seen by RD's injury. It doesn't matter why it happened. RD was flying at the wrong distance? She doesn't know the wingman distance at x speeds, she's usually a leader. Hence why she said they wouldn't make it at this speed. RD mistakenly blinded herself with the single file formation? She did say going at that speed they wouldn't make it. Maybe she always makes that mistake when following and doesn't know any better. Hence why she told LD that they wouldn't make it at that speed. Every mistake made wouldn't haven't have had an opportunity to happen if LD listened to RD. The lead pony didn't listen to the wing pony.
Lead pony shouldn't just listen and accept things they want to hear ("Oh! There's one [flag]!"), they should listen to everything the wing pony says.
LD heard what the wing pony said. Wing pony said that they weren't going to make it at that speed. But then the wing pony decided on a course of action that the lead pony didn't approve of (slowing down). Lead pony dismissed the wing pony's suggestion and took her own initiative to
show the wing pony how it's done. She didn't order her wing pony to follow, and she certainly didn't order her wing pony to follow so closely that she couldn't see what was going on ahead of her, nor have enough response time to properly imitate the lead pony's moves.
If RD "knew" that slowing down was the only way to avoid a crash, she should have accepted that LD was going to crash and slowed down to pick up the remains of her leader. RD didn't know what LD was doing, and she followed too close to watch and
learn what LD was doing. If RD was following too close to even see the obstacles she knew were coming up at alarming speeds, that should've been her first hint that it was time to back off. LD was ahead of RD and had no sightline on RD, and even if she did, she had no control over the amount of distance RD was leaving.
Ideally, yes, LD should've said something like "watch me" before her dive.
But RD "knew" that LD had thrown herself into a death spiral, and apparently said "Death, huh? Oh well, orders is orders" and threw herself into a death spiral of her own. But RD was wrong. LD wasn't trying to crash and burn. RD apparently was. Because orders. RD can't blame LD for clipping her wing (although I can understand her being mad about it), she did it to herself through her own mistake.
There are multiple instances of RD giving LD information and suggestions that LD ignores when it's not what she wants to hear or do. RD, while in disagreement, still listened and followed all of LD's advice and information, using the correct organizational procedure of trying to resolve the conflict with the person first (not causing conflict during the mission, but after), and going up the chain of command if problems still occur.
RD went to her commanding officer to complain about being made subordinate to LD as soon as she heard of it. Not exactly proper conduct. Spitfire told RD that she needed to learn from LD and her willingness to push boundaries.
RD
agreed to participate with the tornado, because she agreed that such behavior was part of Spitfire's orders. She wasn't withholding her complaints. She blew up at LD after the fact because she was upset by the scare her friends went through, and offended that LD thought it was cool. She went up the chain of command because LD argued (rightly) that her actions were supported by Spitfire. And when Spitfire endorsed a reality that RD found unpleasant, RD quit.