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[Always-honest]

Skiesofwonder
might have swallowed some of Elvis' sperm in his mothers womb
(Today, 09:54 AM)

 

[Discotheque]

That's awesome man. You've basically come out of something that Elvis was inside of!!!!

Seriously, that's a really cool story. But I have a really big problem with that 'list' of yours. Dido just seems so out of place lol.

 

[wRATH2x]

From what I remember my mom told me she was seeing Elvis Presley during the Divorce with Priscilla. If Linda Thompson was already living with him or not I have no idea. But I do remember my mom telling me that Elvis would tell her how he had zero real feelings for Linda Thompson and the relationship with Linda was to hide how much the divorce was hurting him so bad.

I think they were only seeing each other for maybe 3 months before my grandma basically squashed the thing. But Elvis and my mom continued to talk over the phone for the next year or two. Crazy stuff.

Your mom is awesome.

 

[dvdjamm]

Or was it this guy?

And he had his racist moments too...

http://www.wnew.com/2009/11/rock-101-elvis-costello-and-ray-charles.html

 

[Skiesofwonder]

Congrats, your mom was a slut.

Fuck off please. Who said my mom even slept with Elvis Presley?

And Dido is awesome. All you haters can go hide in a corner and cry yourself to sleep for all I care.

 

[PetriP-TNT]

I would be rather proud if my mom slept with Elvis, tbh

and Dido's White Flag is in easily in the top 10 of female singler mainstream radio pop shit in the 2000's list.

 

[Kevtones]

I went to homecoming with a girl whose mom went to prom with Brad Pitt. She still had a picture of it showing around the house despite being married :lol

 

[Chinner]

are we supposed to act like you achieved something?

 

[K' Dash]

Pics?

 

[Jamesfrom818]

Fuck off please. Who said my mom even slept with Elvis Presley?

And Dido is awesome. All you haters can go hide in a corner and cry yourself to sleep for all I care.

He's in denial! Who's going to fly a girl out to Hawaii and not fuck her brains out? You trippin.

 

[lethial]

Good for her?

 

[Doodis]

Okay, GAF, I didn't really want to do this, but I feel I have to defend the Skiesofwonder doubters.

Remember all those stories about Elvis still being alive and that his death was a conspiracy? Well those stories are true. AND I AM ELVIS.

I've been trying to keep a low profile, but I'm blowing my cover to let you all know that Skiesofwonder's mom really was my lover, as he claims. Back when she was 20, she really pulled some seriously sweet tricks. But all good things must come to an end, and I eventually moved on.

So, to wrap this up, no need to visit snopes.com. This story is CONFIRMED.

P.S. Some of you may be curious about our time together, and I'll just say this: swallows.

 

[YoungHav]

LOL your mom was an elvis groupie. She shouldn't have told you, too many horrible images. Threesomes and whatnot.

 

[dojokun]

Only me and 1 other guy thinks that it's completely ridiculous how we're supposed to believe that the OP found out two years ago and made a thread acting like he just found out?

 

[Callo Merlose]

This thread plays like the Picard song, except it plays like this:

Another one is.... Elvis. So imagine my reaction when my mom's best friend tells me that my mom dated Elvis for awhile! Yeah, I totally thought "bullshit!" on that one. But before I knew it my brothers and dad were confirming it to! Later that day my dad pulled out a video type of my mom and fricken Elvis Presley at the Aloha from Hawaii concert (among other stuff). My mind was blown! My mom started going off on story after story about dates with Elvis, talking to him on the phone, getting picked up in a limo and flying with his manager to meet him in Hawaii, receiving loads of presents from him, deep and long conversations, etc.

getting picked up in a limo and flying with his manager to meet him in Hawaii, receiving loads of presents from him, deep and long conversations, etc.

deep and long

receiving loads

deep and long

receiving loads

deep and long

receiving loads

deep and long

receiving loads

deep and long

receiving loads

receiving loads

receiving loads

receiving loads

receiving loads

receiving loads

receiving loads

receiving loads

receiving loads

receiving loads

receiving loads

receiving loads

receiving loads

receiving loads

receiving loads

of thick, white semen.

 

[140.85]

sooooo much better than my mom's story about abe vigoda farting on her in line at tcby

:lol

 

[Skiesofwonder]

He's in denial! Who's going to fly a girl out to Hawaii and not fuck her brains out? You trippin.

She never said she did, so I would like to think she didn't. She was not a fucking groupie or some shit like that. Elvis doesn't fly fricken groupies out to Hawaii or talk to them over the phone for two years after they stop seeing each other. I would like to believe that my mom and Elvis had a connection that went beyond sex.

Only me and 1 other guy thinks that it's completely ridiculous how we're supposed to believe that the OP found out two years ago and made a thread acting like he just found out?

I just posted it now because when I first found out I wasn't a member of NeoGAF. But last night I was listening to Willie Nelson's Always on my Mind and Elvis's version was in the sidebar so I clicked on it and I couldn't help but fricken think about my mom and him when I was listening.

 

[Jamesfrom818]

She never said she did, so I would like to think she didn't. She was not a fucking groupie or some shit like that. Elvis doesn't fly fricken groupies out to Hawaii or talk to them over the phone for two years after they stop seeing each other. I would like to believe that my mom and Elvis had a connection that went beyond sex.

If they were that close, you better believe Elvis was hitting that.

 

[Skiesofwonder]

If they were that close, you better believe Elvis was hitting that.

I don't believe it.

 

[Angry Grimace]

I don't believe it.

Oh, no....

You actually believe your mom dated the King of Rock and Roll and nothing happened and he just respected her too much to....oh. Oh, dear. I'm so, so, sorry.

 

[dojokun]

She never said she did, so I would like to think she didn't. She was not a fucking groupie or some shit like that. Elvis doesn't fly fricken groupies out to Hawaii or talk to them over the phone for two years after they stop seeing each other. I would like to believe that my mom and Elvis had a connection that went beyond sex.

Well if it was beyond sex, then why wouldn't it include sex?

 

[Discotheque]

What's wrong with you people? Most of your moms were boning some lame ass jock or some dork in high school.

This dude's mom got close to the King...the King!!!

 

[Count Dookkake]

Not everyone gets to handle the King's jewels.

 

[dojokun]

I don't believe it.

I do. I think their love-making sessions included oral, too.

 

[Sharp]

This is what I like about GAF having so many more members... the odds of one of us having an improbable, ridiculous, and absolutely true story go way up.

 

[Vicetrailia]

I don't believe it.

I would believe it and its really not that big of a deal. It's sex dude, they did it, who cares now.

 

[Angry Grimace]

Well if it was beyond sex, then why wouldn't it include sex?

He wants to believe it bad enough to actually believe it. Even so, I don't see how this somehow impugns OP's mom's dignity or purity. I would have fucked the King too.

 

[Pterion]

What's wrong with you people? Most of your moms were boning some lame ass jock or some dork in high school.

This dude's mom got close to the King...the King!!!

MJ?

 

[MechDX]

What's wrong with you people? Most of your moms were boning some lame ass jock or some dork in high school.

This dude's mom got close to the King...the King!!!

??

 

[Discotheque]

MJ?

Rock N Roll, not Pop (or burgers for that matter).

 

[xMk2x]

Correction... Elvis FUCKED your mom. That's it.

He already established that:

My mom started going off on story after story about dates with Elvis, talking to him on the phone, getting picked up in a limo and flying with his manager to meet him in Hawaii, receiving loads of presents from him, deep and long

 

[dojokun]

I would believe it and its really not that big of a deal. It's sex dude, they did it, who cares now.

Exactly.

OP: It's not a big deal that your mom probably gave Elvis dick massages with her lips and pole danced for him on his personal beef-pole.

 

[Skiesofwonder]

He wants to believe it bad enough to actually believe it. Even so, I don't see how this somehow impugns OP's mom's dignity or purity. I would have fucked the King too.

You gotta think about it this way: Who do you think grabs Elvis's attention more? A pretty girl who is willing to sleep with him before they even talk, or a pretty girl who treat's Elvis like a normal guy and requires an actual strong relationship before they sleep together? I'm guessing the latter.

Though maybe sex did come into play at one point, but if Elvis continues to call my mom two years down to road, I got a feeling the relationship had a lot more to it then just sex.

 

[dojokun]

You gotta think about it this way: Who do you think grabs Elvis's attention more? A pretty girl who is willing to sleep with him before they even talk, or a pretty girl who treat's Elvis like a normal guy and requires an actual strong relationship before they sleep together? I'm guessing the latter.

Though maybe sex did come into play at one point, but if Elvis continues to call my mom two years down to road, I got a feeling the relationship had a lot more to it then just sex.

Hey man no one is saying it was "only" sex. They're responding to your earlier stated belief that there wasn't any sex. They're saying that there was definitely some ass-slappin', mouth-humping, esophagus-whitening action goin' on.

 

[Skiesofwonder]

Hey man no one is saying it was "only" sex. They're responding to your earlier stated belief that there wasn't any sex.

Oh. Well honestly I don't know if there was or not. Just the thought of asking my mom that *shivers*

But like I said earlier, I would like to believe it didn't happen. But yeah I guess it could of happened.

 

[xMk2x]

Dude, he jackhammered your mum after snorting a line of coke from her thigh.

 

[dojokun]

Oh. Well honestly I don't know if there was or not. Just the thought of asking my mom that *shivers*

But like I said earlier, I would like to believe it didn't happen. But yeah I guess it could of happened.

The next time your mom mentions a date with Elvis, say "Details!"

 

[Rorschach]

All those dance moves were probably used on your mom in the back of a pink Cadillac. Every time you see his hips move like that, think of your mom on the receiving end.

I wonder if she swallowed... well, if she rimmed him, he had to swallow too, right? I mean, come on! It's the king!

[edit] What are the odds your mom ate a PBJ&J sammich?



The extra J is for "jjizz."

 

[Jamesfrom818]

Just ask your dad how your mom is in the sack. That will tell you if Elvis was calling her for two years because they had a deep connection or your mom was just good at deep throating.

 

[half a moon]

I heard of an Elvis Impersonator that preyed after groupies back then.

 

[jett]

I don't believe it.

in the butt

 

[Cow Mengde]

But before I knew it my brothers and dad were confirming it to!

How would your brothers know about it? I mean, I guess she could have told them, but I take it they would be just as skeptical as you were.

Oh and is this a picture of them in Hawaii?

 

[charsace]

Your mom had se with Elvis. Deal with it. No way is a guy flying out some girl he has only known for a short period of time without sex being involved.

Your mom's tongue made the journey from cock tip to taint to asshole.

 

[nyong]

It's not totally unbelieveable considering he's a celebrity. Wilt Chamberlain claims to have "dated" over 20,000 women throughout his career.

 

[Skiesofwonder]

How would your brothers know about it? I mean, I guess she could have told them, but I take it they would be just as skeptical as you were.

They had already seen the video tape when they were much younger. I hadn't.

 

[Baby Milo]

Fuck off please. Who said my mom even slept with Elvis Presley?
.

come on bro... I know this is hard but your just gonna have to accept the fact that your mom was a groupie. Your own mother smh

 

[Count Dookkake]

Can someone shop a MOM I AM DISAPPOINT?

 

[JambiBum]

Looks at OP's recent threads about attention grabbing for facebook and hot girls who want his body.

Shakes head in disbelief.

To clarify: Facebook

Girl with boobies

 

[Atrus]

Statistically speaking, someone had to have a mom who was a rock star's left overs. Of course this doesn't mean that it's the OP's mother but I'm just saying... the odds do exist.

 

[Fenderputty]

come on bro... I know this is hard but your just gonna have to accept the fact that your mom was a groupie. Your own mother smh

I understand that he's probably in denial that his mother slept with Elvis. However, I don't see how this makes her a slut. I does make all of you guys picking on him a bunch of assholes though.