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My wife lands in seventeen hours. Good. Have to stop smoking then. Bad.

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F

Folder

Unconfirmed Member
So after what has been one of the most incredible periods in human histort, my wife erica lands in London in about seventeen hours.
Fucking YES!
However, I had stopped smoking. Then I started again.
Fucking SHIT!
Anyhow, I hate smoking. I'm just really adicted to it. But I have to stop or I'll get divorced. And that would be bad. Any top tips? I'm going to have to go serious colf turkey in the next few days and I was looking to you, my interweb cyberfamily for help, guidance or sneering, whatever.
Oh my god, she's nearly here. She'll be boarding a plane soon in Seattle. Then it's so long Jesusland!
Oh please hurry up!
Over to you GAF.
:)
 
D

demi

Member
FUCKING FUCK!

SMOKE SMOKE SMOKE THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE SMOKE SMOKE MMMM NICOTINE

urkuma_cigarettes.jpg



"smoooooke us, Folder, smoke us harrrrd. us fags just love to be sucked on, so come on, suck on us fags...mmmm"
 
S

Scrow

Still Tagged Accordingly
Replace one addiction for another, preferably healthier addiction. Sex, coffee or alcohol for example. The latter not being the best alternative, but still better than filling your lungs with tar and helping breed cancer in your body.

And don’t quit smoking for anyone else but yourself.
 
F

Folder

Unconfirmed Member
demi said:
FUCKING FUCK!

SMOKE SMOKE SMOKE THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE SMOKE SMOKE MMMM NICOTINE

urkuma_cigarettes.jpg



"smoooooke us, Folder, smoke us harrrrd. us fags just love to be sucked on, so come on, suck on us fags...mmmm"
Click to expand...
Curses! It's true!
Thing about smoking is the lies the addiction tells you.
"It's okay to smoke. Everyone does it!"
Um, actually, it kills you and makes you smell. Good successful people generally stop.
"Just have one ciggy! That'll be fine, what, now you're no longer addicted!"
Well, if I have one, some sort of crackhead gene kicks in and I leather 19 more...
"Well then just smoke when you go down the pub. That's okay."
*Goes down the pub every single day as soon as possible to smoke all evening.
Bah CuntBug!

Anyway, Erica will land at 1200 GMT tomorrow!

*dances*
 
F

Folder

Unconfirmed Member
Naked Snake said:
I hate your avatar.
Click to expand...
I'll change it for, um, let me think... I know, a naked surfing hobbit! No one will have though of... Oh, wait a moment...
I don't like it much either really but I'm kind of stuck with it. Sugestions? :)
Scrow said:
Replace one addiction for another, preferably healthier addiction. Sex, coffee or alcohol for example.
Click to expand...
When you say replace. Um, I have all those already. I'm a really adictive person. And love smoking, sex, drinking and getting wired in the morning on lattes.
Fuck! I'm doomed! :(
 
F

Folder

Unconfirmed Member
demi said:
Actually, I think I fancy a fag myself. Care to join me?
Click to expand...
It's your age. It's natural to be curious about boylove, but no, thanks for the offer. :lol
 
D

demi

Member
Scrow said:
no... pictures please!
Click to expand...

NOT AGAIN NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo


Another Folder thread quickly derailed into a picture fest! TAKE IT TO THE BACKSTREETS.


It's your age. It's natural to be curious about boylove, but no, thanks for the offer.
Click to expand...

:(

You can be so mean
 
F

Folder

Unconfirmed Member
demi said:
NOT AGAIN NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo
Another Folder thread quickly derailed into a picture fest! TAKE IT TO THE BACKSTREETS.
Click to expand...
What he said.
Would be stalkers can catch her today at SeaTac at 1600 Pacific or tomorrow at Heathrow 1200 GMT. She's going to be busting her ass with work over the next month. London fashion week approaches = lots of walking up and down wearing odd clothing.
I want her for me! Stupid jobs! :(
 
S

Scrow

Still Tagged Accordingly
Folder said:
When you say replace. Um, I have all those already. I'm a really adictive person. And love smoking, sex, drinking and getting wired in the morning on lattes.
Fuck! I'm doomed! :(
Click to expand...
they were only examples... alternatively you could simply increase intake of those addictions to fill the hole left by cigs.
demi said:
NOT AGAIN NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo


Another Folder thread quickly derailed into a picture fest! TAKE IT TO THE BACKSTREETS.
Click to expand...
well shit.... why do i have to be the one left in the dark? someone PM... please? Now i'm curious, especially if threads have been derailed because of her in the past...
 
D

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
I thought the title said "My life ends in 17 hours". ha
 
F

Folder

Unconfirmed Member
Scrow said:
they were only examples... alternatively you could simply increase intake of those addictions to fill the hole left by cigs.
Click to expand...
Hmm. It's an interesting thought! Might end up with me wired, yet hammered pissed and my wife lying on the floor looking dazed with a ruptured pelvis though...
Which, let's face it, isn't ideal...
 
F

Folder

Unconfirmed Member
Right now I'm going to smoke a cig.
I'll be back in five minutes with a joy report.
Curses.
 
S

Scrow

Still Tagged Accordingly
Folder said:
Might end up with me wired, yet hammered pissed and my wife lying on the floor looking dazed with a ruptured pelvis though...
Which, let's face it, isn't ideal...
Click to expand...
High on caffeine, "tingly" on alcohol and getting too much sex? Sounds pretty fucking great to me.
 
A

aoi tsuki

Member
Yeah, i hate my smoking myself, but i think it would help to have a significant other who would help me ease out of it. Of course you have to do it for yourself, but support is essential for getting over addictions. Unfortunately i live in the tobacco belt of the US, so everyone i meet here smokes. :(
 
L

Leon

Junior Member
Folder, just finish or preferably throw away the current pack you have. The wife pressure will probably take care of any incentive to buy a new one.
 
F

Folder

Unconfirmed Member
Leon said:
Folder, just finish or preferably throw away the current pack you have. The wife pressure will probably take care of any incentive to buy a new one.
Click to expand...
Urgh!
Going to power through I reckon.
I've been unable to eat with excitement.
If I can't smoke, I mean Christ, come on!
 
L

Leon

Junior Member
Folder said:
I've been unable to eat with excitement.
If I can't smoke, I mean Christ, come on!
Click to expand...

By that logic, will you be unable to have sex with excitement, too?

Should be fun.
 
T

Teflar

Member
I stopped smoking cold turkey...
It was too hard to light!

(Hehe)

Best advice I can offer is get something to occupy your mouth.

(perverts)

When I quit smoking I used gum, but I have heard that toothpicks work out well too. Often times if I find myself at a bar really craving one I can bum one and keep it in my mouth, but not light it, though I think that tends to look silly.

Either way, good luck with this and if you need addtional help there is always nicotine gum or the patch, I would think that your wife would understand if you needed a little help breaking the habit, cold turkey is damn hard. :D
 
F

Folder

Unconfirmed Member
Teflar said:
Either way, good luck with this and if you need addtional help there is always nicotine gum or the patch, I would think that your wife would understand if you needed a little help breaking the habit, cold turkey is damn hard. :D
Click to expand...
Cheers man. I think I might try the classic secret smoking in the pub with my friends option.
Oh god. She'll be banging the gardener in a month... :'-(
 
F

Folder

Unconfirmed Member
fart said:
god i hate you folder
Click to expand...
...
huh?
That's fine.
As long as your mum carries on loving me in that "special way"
:)
 
J

JoshuaJSlone

Member
Think of cost alternatives? Lately I've been nagging my Atkins dieting mom about how many loaves of bread we could get for each pack of cigarettes she buys. :)
 
E

evil solrac v3.0

Member
the way i see it, you need to stop having sex. cause after sex you always have to have the post coital cigarrete. your wifey is just gonna have to find other ways to pleasure herself.
 
B

border

Member
Find someone who loves you for who you are. And next time get this stuff worked out before getting married.
 
E

evil solrac v3.0

Member
border said:
Find someone who loves you for who you are. And next time get this stuff worked out before getting married.
Click to expand...


have you seen the wife!? oh... i see what your plan is. very machiavellian. you ARE a worthy opponent. :lol
 
F

Folder

Unconfirmed Member
Today I have consumed only bread, butter, wholegrain mustard, lager, vodka, tea and cigarettes in varying quantities.
Fucking fuck my in my fuckhole.
My wife lands in fucking 13 and a half hours.
OMG.
Sorry, I'm being a spaz but I simply can't believe it. She's almost here. I feel like crying with happiness. :)
border said:
Find someone who loves you for who you are. And next time get this stuff worked out before getting married.
Click to expand...
You should write a book.
I might PM you the title.
 
E

evil solrac v3.0

Member
Folder said:
Today I have consumed only bread, butter, wholegrain mustard, lager, vodka, tea and cigarettes in varying quantities.
Fucking fuck my in my fuckhole.
My wife lands in fucking 13 and a half hours.
OMG.
Sorry, I'm being a spaz but I simply can't believe it. She's almost here. I feel like crying with happiness. :)
Click to expand...


*punches folder in the guts* cut it out already!!!!
 
C

ConfusingJazz

Member
Folder said:
Today I have consumed only bread, butter, wholegrain mustard, lager, vodka, tea and cigarettes in varying quantities.
Fucking fuck my in my fuckhole.
My wife lands in fucking 13 and a half hours.
OMG.
Sorry, I'm being a spaz but I simply can't believe it. She's almost here. I feel like crying with happiness. :)
Click to expand...

Dude, just throw the cigarettes away now man.

Or burn them in a giant piller of flame, that would look cooler, but for god's sake, DON'T BREATHE THE SMOKE! Its for show, not for practical purposes.
 
F

Fifty

Member
Folder said:
Today I have consumed only bread, butter, wholegrain mustard, lager, vodka, tea and cigarettes in varying quantities.
Fucking fuck my in my fuckhole.
My wife lands in fucking 13 and a half hours.
OMG.
Sorry, I'm being a spaz but I simply can't believe it. She's almost here. I feel like crying with happiness. :)

You should write a book.
I might PM you the title.
Click to expand...


Throw the cigs out and start chewing gum to keep your mouth occupied.
 
F

Folder

Unconfirmed Member
evil solrac v3.0 said:
*punches folder in the guts* cut it out already!!!!
Click to expand...
I can't help it.
I'm drinking faster and my heart (seriously) is fucking hammering out of my chest.
*cheese warning*
I never thought it was possible to feel like this about someone.
I never realised half of me was missing until I met Erica.
She's nearly here.
Oh god, I'm crying while posting on GAF.
I hope she never finds this out!
:)
 
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