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[HoopzBarkley]

So... you're basically a sex offender.

Just wow.

 

[Rollo Tomasi]

I wonder how many of these confessors come back to this thread and reply to their own confessions, acting like the confessors are sick and disgusting people but it is really them?

 

[Xpike]

Wouldn't it take as much effort to make purposeful mistakes and false evidence to distract from your cheating as actually doing the work if you understood it?

This guy is either a genius or about to get the worst wake-up call of his life.

 

[Chainsawkitten]

I recently graduated from college with a CS degree, and I let computers do all the rote computing for me.

Isn't that the point?

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Here's a confession:

I hate women. I really do. So goddamn much. Which is weird because politically I'm a clear-cut feminist. Some people even react incredulous when they hear my opinions about women's issues, as if a young guy can't be feminist. And don't think these opinions aren't sincere. One of the reasons I became conflicted over my religion, Islam, was because of the way it talked about and portrayed women. Still, despite being a feminist politically and always acting as polite as possible towards women, I still feel like I hate women. I always go out of my way to not have to interact with any women, and in discussions about women's issues like, campus rape or the verbal abuse that gets thrown around on the internet, I might agree with the feminist viewpoints, but I identify with the men's rights douche bags. Hell, I even identified with Elliot Rodgers. What he did was terrible and what he said was racist and misogynistic, yet I still felt like I was more like him than the people attacking him and the men's rights groups that defended him. I know that identifying with someone like Elliot Rodgers makes me a terrible person but it's a process that happens entirely involuntary. Perhaps it's because I'm still a virgin myself. I haven't seriously interacted with a woman since I was 15, which is 7 years ago so my virginity is entirely because of a lack of trying and yet I always feel rejected. You know that comic with the fat guy sitting across from a pretty woman? A part of me believes I'm him, and that every woman hates me and is disgusted by me. Therefore I (secretly) hate them back. It makes absolutely no sense and yet it's a feeling I can't shake no matter what I try.

I think if you hate women, you're not a feminist, but a guy who is trying to delude himself into thinking he's somehow better than he actually is.

And you know what, you're right. None of your feelings make sense. If you at least made an attempt, I could respect the attempt. But you're content to sit back and just hate women for your own laziness. At least you admit that you're aware of this hypocritical dichotimy.

But maybe... I don't think you hate women. I think you hate yourself and you're projecting your own hate onto women, but you already know that. Women didn't reject you. You didn't try and you're content to sit on your own laurels.

The strangest thing is you know this but you feel this way regardless.

I'm not a shrink. But I think you need one. If you find yourself identifying with Elliot Rodgers, you need genuine help.

I'm sitting here, and truth be told, I understand how you feel. I'm having a Will Graham moment. But it is a disgusting feeling, and I don't imagine you like feeling like that all of the time. It must be exhausting and disquieting and distressing. Spending all your days faking to the rest of the world while your irrational hate metastasizes inside you. Is this really what you want? Is this what you'll allow yourself to be?

Also, now I must post the comic.

You don't have to be that guy, man. It's not too late.

I apologize for the halting way I responded to this, I was working it out in my brain. Man, it must be exhausting to be you.

I wonder how many of these confessors come back to this thread and reply to their own confessions, acting like the confessors are sick and disgusting people but it is really them?

I guarantee some of them do.

 

[Xpike]

women are human beings too
just treat them like you would treat a male friend
you weirdo

 

[dani_dc]

A Cup writes in a follow up to her previous fondling confession.

Not an unusual idea.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Not an unusual idea.

God, I need a girlfriend.

 

[HoopzBarkley]

I wonder how many of these confessors come back to this thread and reply to their own confessions, acting like the confessors are sick and disgusting people but it is really them?

I'm pretty sure they would.

 

[NCR Redslayer]

God, I need a girlfriend.

Go to a Gaf meetup then.

 

[Necrovex]

Not an unusual idea.

Must resist urge to go to Fakku.

God, I need a girlfriend.

More importantly, this!

The fat guy comic will always be the greatest comic known to man, next to the Persona 3 'Minato is a douche' comic.

 

[dani_dc]

God, I need a girlfriend.

I'm sure you'll get some... interesting propositions from the confessions email.

 

[KingGondo]

I wonder how many of these confessors come back to this thread and reply to their own confessions, acting like the confessors are sick and disgusting people but it is really them?

Every. Single. One.

 

[NoctisVsStar]

God, I need a girlfriend.

every single person does..

Spoiler

Me too, been single for like 8 months after my 3yr relationship ended

 

[Kid Ska]

The misogyny is strong with this one.

 

[gaiages]

Damn, you guys are so strong. Every time I waltz into this thread, I immediately have to back out. I can't handle the cringe. Stomach is too weak for this shit. But I have to say, I think this is a great idea (it does really give some people a chance to be open with things that are burdening them). That's really awesome. I just can't handle it (but hey, I have an excuse, I'm going through chemo and am constantly nauseous. SO GIVE me a break. But gah damn, some of these.

Usually I counter the sad and distressing with the Funny Pictures thread. This is basically me reading the thread:

"OMG what a terrible, horrible person this father is. I feel all my hope in humanity slipping away."
*changes tab*
"AHAHAHA THAT PUPPY'S SO CUTE I feel better now."

Kind of a bipolar way to deal with it, but hey, it works.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Damn, you guys are so strong. Every time I waltz into this thread, I immediately have to back out. I can't handle the cringe. Stomach is too weak for this shit. But I have to say, I think this is a great idea (it does really give some people a chance to be open with things that are burdening them). That's really awesome. I just can't handle it (but hey, I have an excuse, I'm going through chemo and am constantly nauseous. SO GIVE me a break. But gah damn, some of these.

Waltz with me through the darkness.

 

[NoctisVsStar]

Damn, you guys are so strong. Every time I waltz into this thread, I immediately have to back out. I can't handle the cringe. Stomach is too weak for this shit. But I have to say, I think this is a great idea (it does really give some people a chance to be open with things that are burdening them). That's really awesome. I just can't handle it (but hey, I have an excuse, I'm going through chemo and am constantly nauseous. SO GIVE me a break. But gah damn, some of these.

Walk with us through the darkness

 

[Septimus Prime]

Man, so I'm going back and reading the two old threads posted in the opening post, and it's taking forever. This is a type of thread where you really need to read every single post. It's like The Wire of GAF threads.

 

[MattyG]

Man, so I'm going back and reading the two old threads posted in the opening post, and it's taking forever. This is a type of thread where you really need to read every single post. It's like The Wire of GAF threads.

I just tried to do that. Can't do it. No way I'm gonna make it all the way through both, and I refuse to start them if I can't finish them.

 

[dani_dc]

I just tried to do that. Can't do it. No way I'm gonna make it all the way through both, and I refuse to start them if I can't finish them.

We need someone to go through the threads and do a "best off" post with links to the more entertaining/disturbing confessions.

 

[CreeperBlocks]

Damn, you guys are so strong. Every time I waltz into this thread, I immediately have to back out. I can't handle the cringe. Stomach is too weak for this shit. But I have to say, I think this is a great idea (it does really give some people a chance to be open with things that are burdening them). That's really awesome. I just can't handle it (but hey, I have an excuse, I'm going through chemo and am constantly nauseous. SO GIVE me a break. But gah damn, some of these.

Embrace The Cringe.

 

[butzopower]

Woman hating dude sounds more like he's afraid of women / doesn't know how to initiate a conversation. This leads to him being frustrated with himself / hating himself, and that get's disassociated to thinking he hates women, as NTGYK stated.

I have this happen now and then with my girlfriend, where I'll get jealous of her past experiences and feel like I need to push myself away from her, and then rationalize somehow that she deserves it.

The mind/ego is quick flee, but also wants to be blameless and feel in control, so it convinces you it's the other entity's fault. You have to just accept that you need to get over yourself, you are doing this to you, and you are the only one who's in control of it, no matter how much you want to externalize it / blame your surroundings.

 

[Bold One]

I am genuinely scared to be associated with some of the people here.

 

[Featheredkitten]

It's funny you reference that. There's a belief that every guy has the Oedipus complex in that we all have a repressed urge to sleep with our mothers. Apparently that's why guys sought after girls that share common traits with their moms.

I definitely don't believe that but it's a thing.

Ugh Freud and his ideas, they're a lot of times untestable and most of the haven't been or weren't empirically tested for 50 damn years. From him that we get penis envy (discredited) and anal/oral fixations caused by under or over indulgence during development (<discredited). Oedipus complexes are not common, except for gross confessor dude, i wouldn't worry that you secretly-from-yourself have one.

Oh Freud and your theories

Seems like most "openly female" Gaffers are popular here. I'm sure if the gender ratio was flipped, the few men on the site would garner more attention. I need to join a forum with 90%+ females to find out if my theory is true.

Really? I'll just....ok...

 

[Azulsky]

Damn, you guys are so strong. Every time I waltz into this thread, I immediately have to back out. I can't handle the cringe. Stomach is too weak for this shit. But I have to say, I think this is a great idea (it does really give some people a chance to be open with things that are burdening them). That's really awesome. I just can't handle it (but hey, I have an excuse, I'm going through chemo and am constantly nauseous. SO GIVE me a break. But gah damn, some of these.

But we have just started

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

To the people trying to send me inside information and rumours: I am not Kotaku.

 

[perfectchaos007]

To the people trying to send me inside information and rumours: I am not Kotaku.

Dude....is creamsugar sending you those NPD numbers? spill em brah

 

[striferser]

Damn, you guys are so strong. Every time I waltz into this thread, I immediately have to back out. I can't handle the cringe. Stomach is too weak for this shit. But I have to say, I think this is a great idea (it does really give some people a chance to be open with things that are burdening them). That's really awesome. I just can't handle it (but hey, I have an excuse, I'm going through chemo and am constantly nauseous. SO GIVE me a break. But gah damn, some of these.

It is insane. But hey, i've read the previous confession, and boy, some of those are just....eugh...
Some of these stuff is sickening, like that mom lover, the retail manager, and the father that cheat with his son girlfriend. Seriously, sender, please fix your shit.

 

[davepoobond]

To the people trying to send me inside information and rumours: I am not Kotaku.

Halo 6 will have a ketchup marketing campaign

 

[marrec]

Halo 6 will have a ketchup marketing campaign

Because Microsoft has a lot of catching up to do! ZING!

Take THAT Bill Gates.

 

[Necrovex]

To the people trying to send me inside information and rumours: I am not Kotaku.

Dude. This is your chance to become a lead writer at Kotaku with all of those scoops.

 

[Magwik]

To the people trying to send me inside information and rumours: I am not Kotaku.

I actually want to hear some of these

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

If I could trade you my notoriety I would.

It's not really your notoriety so much as your family's.

So, what's Marrec been up to nowadays, hmmmmmmmmmm?

 

[Featheredkitten]

If I could trade you my notoriety I would.

But everyone loves you! 'Course that's IRL too

 

[dani_dc]

If I could trade you my notoriety I would.

Just switch accounts with Featheredkitten, that way both of you get your wishes!

Spoiler

Just don't get too creeped out when people ask you how's sex with Marrec.

 

[TheLostBigBoss]

It's not really your notoriety so much as your family's.

So, what's Marrec been up to nowadays, hmmmmmmmmmm?

Ok, can someone fill me in on this shit?

 

[HGStormy]

Confession: Potatoes are tasty.

 

[Blargonaut]

God, I need a girlfriend.

You and me both.

 

[NCR Redslayer]

This thread goes so fast that I barely keep up.
Yet its so good.

 

[Go_Ly_Dow]

so excited to see what comes up

don't delay. keep em coming!

 

[Septimus Prime]

Okay, so I'm reading this thread and last year's, and I have the two tabs next to each other, and in both, the conversation eventually starts steering to Fiction and Featheredkitten and Marrec. Now it's hard to even keep track of which thread I'm in.

 

[Featheredkitten]

Naw, most people don't even know the family connection really.



Apparently not, considering some of the shit I've seen off site

.

 

[HGStormy]

Okay, so I'm reading this thread and last year's, and I have the two tabs next to each other, and in both, the conversation eventually starts steering to Fiction and Featheredkitten and Marrec. Now it's hard to even keep track of which thread I'm in.

Time is a flat circle

 

[dani_dc]

Ok, can someone fill me in on this shit?

If you don't feel like reading all thread (it's worth it though), I feel this image (stolen from the thread) sums up the situation decently.

 

[Featheredkitten]

That graph is out of date.

 

[dani_dc]

That graph is out of date.

Care to update it?

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Yep, it's true. I don't know why I do it, but I do. I mentioned it on gaf before, but never went into much detail.
Basically, sometimes (rarely, actually) when I pee, I turn on the tap and pee against the current (I'm not savage enough to not rinse out the sink and leave it dirty). I do this mostly in my own bathroom sink and sometimes in other people's sinks, but never in kitchens - because people's plates are there, man - or in public ones - because it's either too dirty or there are cameras.
It first started when I was just a boy and I was in my friend's house. I had to hold it in for a while because my friend was shitting in his toilet. I couldn't bear it any more and decided to pee in his kitchen sink. I had to be quiet in case he heard, so I peed slowly. It was intense and scary. I didn't enjoy it that time, but for some reason unbeknownst to me, I decided to pee in my own bathroom sink, whilst recalling this event some few months later.
Maybe it's because when I put my dick on the sink I like the cold feeling. Maybe it's because I can rest my penis on the sink without focusing on aiming much. Maybe it's because I like the sound when the pee interacts with the running water. Maybe it's shaking my dick dry and it going on the floor making me feel evil. Maybe it's the thrill of doing something nasty. It could be a combination of all these things, I just don't know.
Help me, gaf. I want to know why more than anything.

Maybe it's because you have a urine fetish. Ever heard of a golden shower?

 

[terrisus]

It's funny you reference that. There's a belief that every guy has the Oedipus complex in that we all have a repressed urge to sleep with our mothers. Apparently that's why guys sought after girls that share common traits with their moms.

I definitely don't believe that but it's a thing.

Confessions like this make me glad I am so anal about cleaning the public restrooms at work and never ever ever take off my gloves while doing so.

And speaking of Freud... >.>

 

[Pickman]

Alright, kicking things off we've got a depressed Deckard Cain just really hoping you'll pay him some attention:

It means more to me than I really want to admit how badly I want to be well-known on GAF. All my friends in real life I've lost, my parents have kicked me out, I hate my housemates, I haven't had a girlfriend in almost a year, I barely have conversations with people at the two places I work, I had to drop out of school, and I am severely depressed from the whole situation. It eats away at me when I see a well-known poster get recognized in other threads, have people reference past things they've said, etc. Generally be embraced by the community. When I stop posting for a while I want someone to think "I wonder where x went." I want to be associated with something, to have one thing in my life that acknowledges that I exist. I don't care if it's a message board and it's ultimately pointless I need someone to care at least a tiny bit so I can keep on living. I need to feel like I belong somewhere, and if it's not on this goddamn website then its nowhere

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1GobfII8Vcb