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NeoGAF Anonymous Confessions 2014 - Confessember Be Upon Us - Under New Management

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D

dani_dc

Member
I love how it isn't even his ex-girlfriend. It's his exexex-girlfriend.
He somehow dated two other girls while stalking her.

I wonder what's his plan for the other two.
 
C

CloudWolf

Member
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
There's no way this one isn't fake... right? Right!? Gross warning ahead:



There's a whole whack of crazy here, man. You need a legitimate therapist if this isn't a lie. No snark here, go see a doctor. A real doctor.

And if it is a lie, you think to yourself about what kind of guy it takes to say this about his mom in-depth as a joke.
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I once found myself on a Reddit subsection dedicated to (real) stories about incestuous relations. This could've easily been a post on there (minus that last part) and no one would bat an eye, they would probably even cheer him on. Reddit can be a weird and terrible place.
 
R

Red Pencil

Member
I love these threads, for the good, bad, and the ugly. NTGYK, I think you're doing a fine job so far in your new position of power.
 
P

Pickman

Member
Nose Master said:
I kind of want to hear what voice you'll pick for the sociopath ones. Either scumbag dad or the motherfucker.
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hannibal.jpg
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.
 
P

Pickman

Member
Hey,
So here's something I've never told anybody.I probably have a fetish that no one else has. Probably. I have for the longest time only been able to jerk off to reversed videos. Ever since I've started to masturbate, I have been watching Youtube videos of reversed eating, speaking, singing, sports etc. I've even reversed porn before which which was surprisingly more arousing for me that way. Now that I've gotten older, I created a YouTube channel dedicated to the stuff and surprisingly I've had some of my videos reach millions of views because apparently people find them amusing though I never tell people the truth about why I post them. I've even made a couple thousand dollars off of it. Of course, I can get off to still photos and such but I only achieve the best finishes with reversed videos, That being for myself. I guess my question is, Is that weird?
Click to expand...

http://vocaroo.com/i/s10V7daH1br3
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
I'm going to end my life.
I have a steam account with lots of games (500~)
I want to give this account away but I don't know to who since I don't have any friends.
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I hope to God this one is not real and someone fucking around with me, but in case it is real:

Call this number, now:

1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)

Life is worth living, man. I mean... there are tons of games out there yet to come.
 
P

Pickman

Member
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
I hope to God this one is not real and someone fucking around with me, but in case it is real:

Call this number, now:

1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)

Life is worth living, man. I mean... there are tons of games out there yet to come.
Click to expand...

There are people out there you haven't even met yet who want to be your friends. Seriously, you're never completely alone. You even have us schmucks. If you need help, give that number a call and talk to the person on the other end. They aren't going to judge you for it. Everyone has a hard time, and they really, truly want to help.
 
F

Fireblend

Banned
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
I hope to God this one is not real and someone fucking around with me, but in case it is real:

Call this number, now:

1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)

Life is worth living, man. I mean... there are tons of games out there yet to come.
Click to expand...
There's nothing shameful about the thoughts you're having. Call the number above. Or make a thread now, let us have a conversation with you. If you're not on GAF, create a reddit thread on /r/suicidewatch and talk it with others. I can't hope to understand what you're going through, no one can, but please, you are more important than you realize, and you can get out of whatever bad spot you're in, with the support of others. Give it a shot.
 
N

Necrovex

Member
perfectchaos007 said:
Yeah the worst part about that story, was the 18 year old girl/woman was already seen by her parents as a "lost cause", and scumbag dad is just exacerbating that situation. Nevermind that this girl was his sons girlfriend.
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I went out with a woman once who mother dated (and presumingly fucked) an ex of her. The woman was pretty messed up partly due to that.
 
N

Nintendoga

Member
You gotta give Pyscho Guy some credit for effort though. Took him 6 fucking years to pull together a plan like that and make it happen. Most people give up that shit after a week. I'm impressed tbh.

Doesn't stop the fact that you're fucking crazy tho.
 
P

Pickman

Member
I am the guy who takes over your shift for you and smiles. I am the guy who you can phone in the middle of the night, totally wasted - and i will discuss the problem of global overpopulation with you. If you need some money - i have over, no prob, just give it back when you can. All the people in my vicinity like me, and even if not - i dont care, the world is full of other people.

But.

I may be the most unvorgiving person in a 500km radius. If someone pissed on my leg, i will remember that. And one day, the day you will enjoy your life and may have completely forgotten about my existence, your shit will come back to you. Not many people know about this facette of my personality, and those who do - i trust them with my life. (Really, i do. Two times i did and i still live.)

My exexex-girlfriend was a spoiled woman. Not that i cared. I loved her like i never loved anyone before. We were together for almost 6 years. Two months after we got in an engagement, i found out she was sleeping with a ... lets say a guy who could not even form a sentence without the equivalent of "YO" and "FUCK" in german. 6 months the only things i did was to get drunk, sober up and get drunk again. Even planned to kill myself, but just before i jumped, i realised my little brother will need me in the future. So i didnt.

Two years pass. I have multiple shadow-facebook accounts and stalk her life. I am waiting, waiting for the opening for my move. I the meantime, she moved together with said guy and left again after four months. Then another one, three months. Little dots of glee colouring my daily routine. She gets fired. Get a new job, she moves again. I wait. I wait and observe, managing my life, new girlfriends and woman.

I get in contact with her mother on FB. "Ohhhh R.! Long time no see! What happened, tell me! Blablablabla." We exchange messages at times, meaningless words which are only used by me to get more information.

Another 6 years pass.

Her mother changes her status to "Divorced". I message her my condolences (sp?), she answers with a long winded message about how her man was a self-righteous asshole and cheated on her multiple times. I can relate to that, somewhat. We get on the phone. I comfort her, i assure her it is not "over". She has two daughters to live for!
Yes, i know the feeling of being betrayed by a person you were so close for for so long. I know it hurts.

We phone for almost 10 hours (had to change phone batteries after four hours, lol). At the end she stopped crying and i invited her for a talk, maybe someday? If you want to speak your shit off your soul, i will listen. She agrees. I drive over 450km in the night, get some sleep and meet her. She talks and cries. I listen and comfort her.

Last weeeked i slept with the mother of my exexex-gf. It was probably the strangest but very enjoyable experience for both sides. I filmed the whole thing, because i prepared the hotel room before. With 3 cameras.

My exexex has the complete edited movie, with sound now. As i know her, this will fuck her head up even more than before.
Her mother is the only parent part she were ever close to. And now, this part is tainted. By my dick.


I can not brush my smile away. Since monday, i feel a bit more complete. The ex got what she deserved and R. got the feeling of being desirable by a (relatively) yound man.

Life is good.
Click to expand...

I went through a couple weird voices in here, sorry. But you get the idea.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1O01zaNFymY
 
P

Pickman

Member
Jarrod38 said:
Where you going for a Gomer Pyle voice there? Anyways how many of these confessions are even real?
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Heh, that's just a character I used to do on the PA at my old job after closing to get a laugh out of the rest of the staff cleaning up. I toned it down a bit, since it's usually a really feminine voice and super-southern, a kind hearted lady by the name of Josephine who gets shit on by angry customers all day.

Next one might be a long-lost McKenzie brother from Strange Brew.
 
J

JBourne

maybe tomorrow it rains
Some of these confessions just seem like made up garbage from try-hard lamefucks who spend too much time watching movies and stewing over that girl in middle school who didn't pay attention to them.
 
B

butzopower

proud of his butz
So you've extracted revenge at 31 on a girl you started dating at 17 and broke up with at 23. Totally sounds like you won.
 
L

Liquid-San

Member
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
There's no way this one isn't fake... right? Right!? Gross warning ahead:



There's a whole whack of crazy here, man. You need a legitimate therapist if this isn't a lie. No snark here, go see a doctor. A real doctor.

And if it is a lie, you think to yourself about what kind of guy it takes to say this about his mom in-depth as a joke.
Click to expand...

100614-what-the-fuck-is-happening-rig-jLDM.gif


NotTheGuyYouKill said:
GAF notoriety isn't all it's cracked up to be. Have you considered getting a hobby, joining a club, expanding your social circle? Leaving your current location and restarting in a new one? Returning to school?
Click to expand...

It really isn't. Also, being accepted by a bunch of strangers over the internet doesn't sound appealing in the slightest. Just try to branch out and do new things. Starting over is never easy, but it's better than trying to be popular on a forum. After all, let's say you get your way and the following day the internet crashes, what then? You don't want a situation like this:

tumblr_inline_nc0exfmnnq1qaivs7.gif


Awful looking gif, I know.

NotTheGuyYouKill said:
TLDR: Simp gets dumped by girlfriend, stalks her, waits six years for revenge, and then fucks her mom and tapes it.



You're a fucking psycho.
Click to expand...

This is it, huh guys?
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
First off, I am 28 and a guy. Occasionally I fantasize about having boobs. Not man boobs, but full on breasts. I also fantasize about wearing women's clothing. Lately, I have been fantasizing about it more and more. Sometimes, I wish I was a woman, but am also content with being a man.
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Hey man, if you wanna wear women's clothes, go for it. Eventually, fantasizing ain't gonna be enough and you're gonna wanna put something on.

Go for delicate.
 
R

Rex Griswold

Member
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
Maybe post less on GAF on work on your relationship more
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I can actually relate to that confessor's BF, maybe not the part where I dumped her ass(because I haven't), but the part where she'd talk to anyone BUT me about our relationship troubles.

Disrespectful and shows a lack of interest in the relationship. Then again, I'd rather it was GAF than her laugh-at-all-the-other-guys-my-boyfriend-doesn't-know-about friends. Seriously fuck them.

Fuck it, confessor, stop being afraid of confrontation and talk to him, confessor's BF, stop being a punk and confront her instead of bailing.

Unless it was a terrible situation where no one was happy, then ignore me.
 
S

SnakeEyes

Banned
Fiction said:
Marrec is my little brother. Featheredkitten is his fiancee. I once stumbled into a thread of someone asking for advice about their sex life, read the whole op and went quote before realizing that the OP was Marrec. Made a 'inside joke' comment and all hell broke loose due to several people knowing the connection.
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Hahaha oh man - just found the page where all hell broke loose and I gotta say, I'm glad my store is empty right now because I've been laughing my ass off for a good 5 solid minutes! :D
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
I think this is a confession worth reading:

About 4 months ago, after a string of shitty events and actions I had to take to get away from an abusive boyfriend, I had all the plans in motion to end my life. I am one of those people who never threatens self harm as a cry for help- despite being surrounded by severe mental illness and suicide attempts growing up with an ill family member. If it weren't for my dog and my father being such a good man, I doubt I would be as strong as I am, still able to pick myself up and struggle through the days that have become some of the worst of my life recently.

I was a prominent figure on mental health GAF, and am a fighter in regards to mental health, suicide awareness/prevention, etc. But because of that, when the chips are down, I keep my own serious problems and hurts in "like a man" because I was raised by my father and that's what he always has done. I'll talk about other stuff that bothers me, other petty things going on- a distraction from what was festering in me to give up.

I don't think anyone really noticed how close I was because I don't make self-harm threats, I just would have done it. No fanfare. Gone. But I didn't. I got hired at a job I really needed, even though it was day/night flip 12 hour shift work that was terrible for me with what I had going on beforehand. And I got stalked at that job, or had another particular male practically following me around the job site, constantly hovering, when I just wanted to be left alone to do my work and avoid others as much as possible so I could get through the days, trying to remember why I was keeping myself alive without the prison mentality I was welcomed with on such a male-dominated job site.

This is all a big deal to me because I have never even entertained the thought of wanting to end my own life before. Not once. I knew better- or always knew I was stronger than that. Could handle and get through the pain. That's why I fought so hard for that community as often as I could: to be a humorous or inane distraction, honest school/career advice, or someone to yap with/listen to, because I know there are people out there who can't handle that pain as well as I can and those distractions and support can be invaluable.

I'm no saint, I made and will continue to make mistakes, but have resolved to walk away since I can do more good for myself and people who want me in their life now, instead of always giving my "heart and soul" away to the community. Someone called me the heart and soul of that community. I don't know what that means anymore, really. I did what I did because I cared- because I'm not callous and bitter, despite my damages and the fact that my mental and emotional health has been drained to near empty by the [sarcasm]people lottery I seem to have been winning over the last two years.[/sarcasm]
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Edit: I didn't initially comment on this because I was unsure what to say. Here is what I want to say: Go. Don't waste your time here, go and get your life together. Be happy, do what you want, with the people you wanna spend your time with. Your priority is you. Your mental and emotional health. Don't come back. Go and live your life and I hope you can be happy and satisfied in the future. I truly do.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
I've been dieting and working out lately, and I think I've been taking it too far. I basically eat nothing in an attempt to lose weight.

I usually eat nothing until dinner. I might have a granola bar or something for lunch. I'm eating healthy when I do eat, but I find myself getting disgusted when I eat more than a certain amount.

I have never caused myself to intentionally vomit, but I am afraid that I am developing an eating disorder. I'm too ashamed to admit my problem publicly and don't know what to do.

The worst part? I enjoy the sensation of being hungry. I like the feeling of having my stomach rumble. And a large part of me feels that all of this is incredibly fucked up.
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I too am trying to diet, but there is no way I've gone this far.

Look, you need to see a doctor, or a dietician/nutritionist. This is not healthy, and the longer it goes like this, the worse your insides will get. Hey, maybe I'm being a bit paranoid here and whatever you eat at dinner works for you, but I've always been under the impression it's better to eat smaller portions, but consistently versus one single meal.

Anyone else got anything on this?
 
NeOak

NeOak

Member
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
I too am trying to diet, but there is no way I've gone this far.

Look, you need to see a doctor, or a dietician/nutritionist. This is not healthy, and the longer it goes like this, the worse your insides will get. Hey, maybe I'm being a bit paranoid here and whatever you eat at dinner works for you, but I've always been under the impression it's better to eat smaller portions, but consistently versus one single meal.

Anyone else got anything on this?
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Engines don't run on fumes.
 
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