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NFL 2015 Wild Card |OT| - A Fraud Goes Wild

bionic77

Member
When I graduated I went to work at a local mutual fund back office and got a nice little signing bonus. I was like 21. Since I was already in a rad three bedroom loft apartment with some buddies I didn't want to move out. Instead I decided to buy new furniture. Did it real big. Drove all the way to Chicago to the nearest Ikea. Looked a lot like Tabris except mostly brown, with that sweet sweet fake wood look. So shiny, I thought it looked awesome.

Like the third night I had this furniture we had an after party and I'll never forget this freaky nipple ringed 18 year old who I had been hanging out with off and on came into my room. She started laughing and told me all my new furniture looked like Fisher Price shit and left (well, all the way to the couch).

I sold it all on ebay the next week for a couple hundo. Now I won't even let my toddlers have ikea furniture. That shit scarred me.

Tabris probably pays for sex though and adds extra if they don't laugh.
Holy shit the IKEA shopping stuff is like a time machine for me. The only difference was that I didn't sell mine. I kept it until I moved out of my first apartment and put it where all IKEA furniture ends up after a year. In the garbage.

And I don't think probably is the right word when it comes to Tabris paying for sex. Tabris probably pays for sex like the Pats probably cheat and like I probably liked the new Star Wars.
 
Billy_Kave needs to watch his shit.
P0HTxYy.gif
 

JABEE

Member
I really doubt that.

He has had 20 years to develop whatever filters he uses now to be able to interact in society without going to jail. College ez would have been raw as fuck.
I wonder how many compounds there are in Wisconsin like the Avery's.

After watching "Making A Murderer," I know what a Wisconsin "compound" looks like.
 
No Thursday night fuckball has turned this thread into Thursday night fuckery.

I am legit scared of what some of you were to do with your lives if there was no football.
 

bionic77

Member
I haven't followed the Tabris backstory, what is it that you do again?
Pays Asian women to tell him he is not a complete sack of shit in between sessions of touching his incredibly small penis.

Apparently he couldn't find anyone in Canada who wanted that job.
 

Tabris

Member
Wow I go out and not talk to some hot girl with a nose ring and bare shoulders and Tabris is still here. Swell.

You should borrow my hubris :)

Guy your life is so boring you felt the need to run away for six months to go fuck third world hookers. Or pretend to. I'm not sure which is worse.

Going with my best friend to Thailand for 6 months (beach house for most of it), 3 months in Japan, 1 month in South Korea, 2 months in China / Hong Kong.
 

bionic77

Member
That's because your Mom doesn't live in Canada.

I don't mind bionic hating because he has to go back to his boring parent lifestyle after this. :)
Mom jokes huh?

You might be right about needing more money. You will probably need more than $100k when you go to Thailand to get a girl to spend more than 10 minutes with you.
 
Chip in Santa Clara? Yes please!

You don't mean this.. You just want the Niners to suck..

We don't want FMT to die. He's gonna be a dad for god's sake.

Killing that elk really did help me get over the Brewers losing that year.


I have no compound in Wisconsin. Just a family farm. Not gonna lie, wouldn't be totally surprised if my uncle who lives there throws cats into bonfires.

Don't go to that farm.

Duly noted.

Ez.. What do you do in real life because I think you may have mentioned before and I can't recall.

No Thursday night fuckball has turned this thread into Thursday night fuckery.

I am legit scared of what some of you were to do with your lives if there was no football.

I would probably be watching reruns of Law and Order.

Because everyone keeps talking about Bionic's rug.

It's the hotness.
 
Sometimes my friends ask me why are you laughing (when I'm reading GAF on my phone), and I don't know how to respond. But I think I have a great answer now.

"It's because I'm associated with some of the biggest fucks this planet has ever seen"
 

Spinluck

Member
No Thursday night fuckball has turned this thread into Thursday night fuckery.

I am legit scared of what some of you were to do with your lives if there was no football.

Idk, I've heard that some of us (or maybe just one of us) have threatened to beat the shit out of another poster on here before. Have you heard of anyone on here doing such a thing?
 

Tabris

Member
Mom jokes huh?

You might be right about needing more money. You will probably need more than $100k when you go to Thailand to get a girl to spend more than 10 minutes with you.

Well my best friend is going with me for an entire year, so there's someone that can put up with me more then 10 minutes and she's awesome :)

You're from somewhere in the middle of the US, so I assume you had to marry your cousin or sister? or were you lucky and only had to marry your 2nd cousin?
 

Spinluck

Member
Well my best friend is going with me for an entire year, so there's someone that can put up with me more then 10 minutes and she's awesome :)

You're from somewhere in the middle of the US, so I assume you had to marry your cousin or sister? or were you lucky and only had to marry your 2nd cousin?

Oh look guys, big shot over here has a female friend.

Hurr hurr hurr!

I have a couch.

Where did you get it?
 

eznark

Banned
Hurtful.

I thought we were boys, ez. You've changed since your Milwaukee days.

You're right.

I would have slit your throat the first time I heard your disgusting Minnesota accent.

Today, I had a conference call and one of the attendees was in Duluth and....I was polite to her. Don't tell anyone.
 

BigAT

Member
Well my best friend is going with me for an entire year, so there's someone that can put up with me more then 10 minutes and she's awesome :)

You're from somewhere in the middle of the US, so I assume you had to marry your cousin or sister? or were you lucky and only had to marry your 2nd cousin?

Wait, you're travelling for a year with someone that friend zoned you?

Holy fuck.
 
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