• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

NFL 2016 Offseason Thread |OT3| - With the 29th pick of the 2016 NFL draft...

FMT is a dad! How best to celebrate?

Results are only viewable after voting.
T

Tom Penny

Member
CrocMother said:
She saw me walking, with a full 60 lb pack, asked what I was doing, if she could walk with me for a bit. I told her about my journey and she offered to take me out to dinner. At first I declined, but then she said her family owned a 5 star steak restaurant. Since I had been eating nothing but cliff bars for 5 days, I took her up on the offer.

We walked to her car, which was a bmw sports car. That was the first clue she was loaded. The second clue came when she said she had to swing by her place, which was a fucking mansion. She invited me inside and we had a few beers by the pool. That's when she told me it was actually her husband who owned the restaurant, and he was gone for the night.

Not sure if I should continue, since there are gatas still up.
Click to expand...

So this women brings guys to her husbands restaurant and then fucks them. That seems logical. What could go wrong?
 
C

CrocMother

Banned
MechDX said:
Fuck gata. Go on....
Click to expand...

After a few beers we rolled up to the restaurant. The valet ran out to greet her like his fucking job depended on it, I guess because her husband owned the place.

Inside, we talked to a few of her rich friends. Now it's important to note that I had been sleeping outside, and had not showered or had a real conversation with a human being, for five days. I had been walked to La Jolla from San Diego.

Now, she had offered to let me sleep at her place already, but I thought better of it. After a few drinks and hours of conversation, it had gotten dark so I didn't have a choice really. We went back to her place and played cards for a bit. She poured me a glass of cognac, which I remember because it was the first and only time I've had cognac.

This whole time, she had been paranoid that her husband was coming back and even called him and told him that I was her hair dressers nephew or some shit, just in case he got back. That was a fucking stupid move on her part, as I'll explain later

I'm trying to finish the Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, so if you want the rest of the story I'll be back in a bit
 
M

MechDX

Member
CrocMother said:
After a few beers we rolled up to the restaurant. The valet ran out to greet her like his fucking job depended on it, I guess because her husband owned the place.

Inside, we talked to a few of her rich friends. Now it's important to note that I had been sleeping outside, and had not showered or had a real conversation with a human being, for five days. I had been walked to La Jolla from San Diego.

Now, she had offered to let me sleep at her place already, but I thought better of it. After a few drinks and hours of conversation, it had gotten dark so I didn't have a choice really. We went back to her place and played cards for a bit. She poured me a glass of cognac, which I remember because it was the first and only time I've had cognac.

This whole time, she had been paranoid that her husband was coming back and even called him and told him that I was her hair dressers nephew or some shit, just in case he got back. That was a fucking stupid move on her part, as I'll explain later

I'm trying to finish the Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, so if you want the rest of the story I'll be back in a bit
Click to expand...


Who walked you?
 
Z

Zvonimir Boban

Banned
The cat, who sleeps by my feet every single night, has decided to climb on top of my stomach and fall asleep there for some unfathomable reason. So now I'm stuck like this, unable to sleep.

Pets are awful.
 
C

CrocMother

Banned
MechDX said:
Who walked you?
Click to expand...

Hah. I walked I meant.

There's not much more so I'll just tell you.

We went into the backyard and fucked on top of a hill, so she could see if her husband was pulling into the drive way. When he didn't come back, we fucked again on the couch. She was 47 years old, half-hispanic half-italian. She had huge breasts and was in good shape. No kids. She and her husband slept in separate bedrooms. Her husband had slept with a hooker who then blackmailed him, and when he stopped paying her she called the wife.

She was thirsty. She was a wild sex starved beast. That's one great thing about older women, they appreciate the hell out of your body.

I woke up at the crack of dawn the next morning, and after I was showered and getting dressed her husband came back. Now this may sound silly, but my first reaction was to affect a gay accent. I don't think he bought it. He was a short, fat, bald italian man. He basically looked at me, then walked out in rage and drove away in his ferrari. It was awkward.

I just had her drop me off from where she picked me up and I kept walking.
 
M

MechDX

Member
CrocMother said:
Hah. I walked I meant.

There's not much more so I'll just tell you.

We went into the backyard and fucked on top of a hill, so she could see if her husband was pulling into the drive way. When he didn't come back, we fucked again on the couch. She was 47 years old, half-hispanic half-italian. She had huge breasts and was in good shape. No kids. She and her husband slept in separate bedrooms. Her husband had slept with a hooker who then blackmailed him, and when he stopped paying her she called the wife.

She was thirsty. She was a wild sex starved beast. That's one great thing about older women, they appreciate the hell out of your body.
Click to expand...

I woke up at the crack of dawn the next morning, and after I was showered and getting dressed her husband came back. Now this may sound silly, but my first reaction was to affect a gay accent. I don't think he bought it. He was a short, fat, bald italian man. He basically looked at me, then walked out in rage and drove away in his ferrari. It was awkward.

I just had her drop me off from where she picked me up and I kept walking.
Click to expand...

No doubt. Had many, many escapades in my early to mid twenties with women in their early to mid thirties up to early forties. I appreciated that no games were played. Girls in that age still acted like freaking teenagers and it annoyed the hell out of me. the older women just wanted a good time with no strings attached and I obliged them. Good times.
 
C

CrocMother

Banned
MechDX said:
No doubt. Had many, many escapades in my early to mid twenties with women in their early to mid thirties up to early forties. I appreciated that no games were played. Girls in that age still acted like freaking teenagers and it annoyed the hell out of me. the older women just wanted a good time with no strings attached and I obliged them. Good times.
Click to expand...

L1YxpS9.gif
 
K

Kastrioti

Persecution Complex
Matthew Stafford's TD run helps Lions beat Raiders

DETROIT -- Matthew Stafford's toenail on his right, big toe was black and blue.

"I just tore it off," he said.

A win will likely ease the pain.

Stafford ran for a go-ahead 5-yard touchdown early in the fourth quarter on a drive that included him making a couple other key plays with his feet, helping the Detroit Lions beat the Oakland Raiders 18-13 Sunday.
Click to expand...

http://espn.go.com/nfl/recap?gameId=400791636

The Lions would go on to win and hold Derek Carr to 13/25 169 yards at a 6.8 yard average attempt.

Darius Slay covered Amari Cooper the whole game holding him to 0 receptions.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

  • Poll
NFL '24/'25 |OT| #FreeCheetah Edition 🐆💨
2 3
101
2K
offtopic replied
  • Poll
NFL '23/'24 |OT| Bradyless Edition
|OT| Social 26 27 28 29 30
1K
53K
12Goblins replied
  • Poll
2021 NFL Season | OT | "Some of those blokes are giving 110, 120%"
|OT| Social News 27 28 29 30 31
2K
72K
Smiggs replied
2020 NFL Draft: Zoom Meeting Edition
|OT| 2 3
134
8K
Moogle11 replied
2019 NFL Draft
2 3 4
168
8K
AaronB replied
Top Bottom