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NFL Offseason Thread - Who cares who won we got a draft to prepare for!

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squicken

Member
Thank you to brother squicken for the avatar. Now everytime I post Staffords' green eyes, confident smile will be looking at you, backed up with the statistics I post.

GAF doesn't respect stats. Better to be up 29-0 with 9 attempts and be a legend forever
 

Stinkles

Clothed, sober, cooperative
Three quarters of a million people are driving out of Seattle right now. Traffic is remarkably good considering, but still pretty ntense.
 

bionic77

Member
wtf bill nye is a seahawks fan? guess i have to join an organized religion then. which one will swindle me out of the least amount of money?
Mormons and Muslims let you get down with more than one girl. I think Muslims have to give 2% to charity. Mormons I want to say it is 10%.

Pretty sure neither allows for ass play so sacrifices will have to be made. Unless you are willing to join a cult. Then it's thunderdome rules while you get to bang everyone's wife's and daughters.
 
http://grantland.com/features/bill-barnwell-nfl-bets-made-2013-season/

Heh went back over a Grantland article before the NFL season and Bill Barnwell lost about $1800 betting on the NFL before the season. The most hilarious bets were 4 on Tampa Bay which all lost and for Trent Richardson to win the rushing title (he only bet $20 but it's still hilarious).

Edit: I suck at math so he lost way less than that but it's still funny looking at some of them now.
 

Farooq

Banned

Please. Dallas would rather use another second round pick on Witten's replacement.

Mormons and Muslims let you get down with more than one girl. I think Muslims have to give 2% to charity. Mormons I want to say it is 10%.

Pretty sure neither allows for ass play so sacrifices will have to be made. Unless you are willing to join a cult. Then it's thunderdome rules while you get to bang everyone's wife's and daughters.

Between the two, go Mormon. If you try to leave Islam, they will kill you. Well, at least that is what the religion mandates. I had a couple violent threats go my way once I told people about my lack of belief. Fuck them, 7th century motherfuckers.
 

Tamanon

Banned
Please. Dallas would rather use another second round pick on Witten's replacement.



Between the two, go Mormon. If you try to leave Islam, they will kill you. Well, at least that is what the religion mandates. I had a couple violent threats go my way once I told people about my lack of belief. Fuck them, 7th century motherfuckers.

Yeah but from my experience Mormon girls are pretty awful in bed so it's not even worth it.
 

Kastrioti

Persecution Complex
13766796-mmmain.jpg


This happened twice this past season. Once in the pic I posted above, and once against the Packers on a screen pass on the right side of the field where had Bush not dropped it, it would've been an easy TD. Mind you, that game against the Packers we were without Megatrin, Nate Burleson etc and it was still a close game, If Bush catches that screen pass with Warford and Waddle pulling the whole game changes and I think we can win.

This is why I think a speed back being drafted in rounds 1-4 is essential for us this season.
 
Mormons and Muslims let you get down with more than one girl. I think Muslims have to give 2% to charity. Mormons I want to say it is 10%.

Pretty sure neither allows for ass play so sacrifices will have to be made. Unless you are willing to join a cult. Then it's thunderdome rules while you get to bang everyone's wife's and daughters.

i'm going to start my own religion and ask for donations from people
 

mkenyon

Banned
The nice thing about the Seahawks is they have no fans outside of the Pacific Northwest, so the rest of us can pretty much just ignore that this season ever happened. Also they'll go back to being cellar dwellers in a couple years when their roster is decimated by bad contracts and PED suspensions. Wilson is not good enough to carry that team on his own, and he's going to get Flacco money. Enjoy your day in the sun before it starts raining again Seattle!
gYYNFYs.jpg
 
The nice thing about the Seahawks is they have no fans outside of the Pacific Northwest, so the rest of us can pretty much just ignore that this season ever happened. Also they'll go back to being cellar dwellers in a couple years when their roster is decimated by bad contracts and PED suspensions. Wilson is not good enough to carry that team on his own, and he's going to get Flacco money. Enjoy your day in the sun before it starts raining again Seattle!

Why so salty Panthers brother?

They got their ring now, but our time is coming. We'll get one eventually.
 

Crisco

Banned
Salt? Nah, I'm an NC State fan and we still claim Wilson as ours. It sucks the way our season ended but the Seahawks are one of the least objectionable teams to win a Super Bowl ever. They are basically harmless, like if the Browns ever got really good for a few seasons.
 

bionic77

Member
Why so salty Panthers brother?

They got their ring now, but our time is coming. We'll get one eventually.
Windows close fast. Get a playmaker in FA and take some chances in the draft for guys who can step in day one.

I really am amazed at how the Niners have put together a championship contender 3 straight years. That is so hard to do.
 

Colasante

Member
Windows close fast. Get a playmaker in FA and take some chances in the draft for guys who can step in day one.

I really am amazed at how the Niners have put together a championship contender 3 straight years. That is so hard to do.

AFC-Championship-Football_004-600x389.jpg


Indeed it is! Thanks for the words of praise about our dear Patriots, Bionic.
 

Drakeon

Member
Windows close fast. Get a playmaker in FA and take some chances in the draft for guys who can step in day one.

I really am amazed at how the Niners have put together a championship contender 3 straight years. That is so hard to do.

Harbs is a masterful coach and Baalke has worked some magic in FA. Although that 2012 draft... that was a bad draft. 2013 was much better by all accounts (still waiting to see how good Lemonier, Carradine, Lattimore, etc are). Hoping we don't repeat 2012 this year. Can't really tank a pick worse than the Jenkins pick.
 
Windows close fast. Get a playmaker in FA and take some chances in the draft for guys who can step in day one.

I really am amazed at how the Niners have put together a championship contender 3 straight years. That is so hard to do.

Looking at this draft, the Panthers really picked the best time to need a WR in the worst way. Problem is, they waited so long to really address the position that they now probably need two receivers.

Smitty is good WR3 now, not a lead guy. I like Ginn for stretching the field, even if he occasionally has stone hands.

Lafell, Hixon
555322240.gif
 
Does Peppers have anything left in the tank? I wonder if he got cut, if Fox could light a fire under him. Though I'd be happier with someone younger.
 
Looking at this draft, the Panthers really picked the best time to need a WR in the worst way. Problem is, they waited so long to really address the position that they now probably need two receivers.

Smitty is good WR3 now, not a lead guy. I like Ginn for stretching the field, even if he occasionally has stone hands.

Lafell, Hixon
555322240.gif
Decker in FA?
 

bionic77

Member
AFC-Championship-Football_004-600x389.jpg


Indeed it is! Thanks for the words of praise about our dear Patriots, Bionic.
Pats were never legit contenders. They were never as good as the Niners in the past 3 years. They just made the most of a weak division, conference and whatever shady stuff they can get away with.
 

Konka

Banned
Pats were never legit contenders. They were never as good as the Niners in the past 3 years. They just made the most of a weak division, conference and whatever shady stuff they can get away with.

I dunno...I'd say they were pretty legit contenders when they were in the Super Bowl in the 2011 season...?
 

bionic77

Member
I dunno...I'd say they were pretty legit contenders when they were in the Super Bowl in the 2011 season...?
They lost to every decent team they played. That was the easiest schedule ever.

I remember we dominated them in Pittsburgh that year. Our defense broke down at the end of the year though from injuries. Honestly did they beat a good team that year? I don't think they did...
 
They lost to every decent team they played. That was the easiest schedule ever.

I remember we dominated them in Pittsburgh that year. Our defense broke down at the end of the year though from injuries. Honestly did they beat a good team that year? I don't think they did...

Nope, they faced only two teams that wound up with winning records in the regular season, Steelers and Giants, and lost both. They did beat the Ravens in the championship game when what's his name dropped that TD pass that would have won it and Cuntlip then missed the tying FG.
 

bionic77

Member
Nope, they faced only two teams that wound up with winning records in the regular season, Steelers and Giants, and lost both. They did beat the Ravens in the championship game when what's his name dropped that TD pass that would have won it and Cuntlip then missed the tying FG.
Yeah I seem to remember them not beating anyone good.
 

XiaNaphryz

LATIN, MATRIPEDICABUS, DO YOU SPEAK IT
Previously, in NFL-GAF Prison Chronicles:

NFL-GAF Prison part 1.
NFL-GAF Prison part 2.
NFL-GAF Prison part 3.
NFL-GAF Prison part 4.

As always, click on any image to get the full res screenshot.

-----

The next morning Doom, Frankman, and Kave head to the shower while DM and Penny try to figure out why the hell they feel so sore waking up.



The 3 who slept in beds take showers, while for some reason Doom and Kave just stand around watching. Though I think Doom's just delirious from lack of sleep.



DM insists the other 2 smelly motherfuckers take a damn shower, but they're not having it. Meanwhile Kave seems to be pushing in on Penny for some reason.



Breakfast time. Doom and Penny take all the bacon, leaving the rest to have the mystery gruel.



Pissed off, Frankman makes a remark on Kave's clothing preferences while DM bitches him out for skipping on that shower.



Doom and Kave save their bacon for last, probably some attempt at sticking it to the other 3 for getting beds the previous night.



Free Time later that afternoon.



Kave heads to the weight bench.



Penny confronts Doom about what the hell happened the night before. Doom tries to make something up.



Meanwhile, DM and Frankman head off to play some pool. DM complains that parts of his uniform are filthy for some reason. Until we can unlock prison labor and get a laundry service going, he'll have to deal with it.



Following the game, Frankman heads back to the holding cell and whines about how filthy it is. The cooks meanwhile prep the late meal. Dropping ingredients on the floor is completely safe and hygenic, no health violations at this facility!



No idea on what happened after Doom's and Penny's discussion, but Doom felt like he needed a shower. By himself, far far away in the empty and incomplete cell block.



Yard time. DM continues to hurl insults at Kave for not taking a shower.



At dinner time, everyone gets suspicious of the food upon arrival for some reason. They all ignore it. Penny bitches out loud how disgustingly dirty the room is while Frankman again stays away from everyone else, especially that dirty Kave guy. DM, Doom, and Kave appear to be up to something though.



Penny's outburst attracts the guard over. Frankman slowly moves away from the whole thing while Doom hopes to snag a bed tonight.



Noone ends up eating anything and the cooks have to throw away all the food they prepped earlier.



Well before sleep time starts, DM, Kave, and Penny decide to claim beds early, leaving Frankman and Doom in the dust. Doom bitches about missing out again.



Midnight rolls around and Day 6 begins, meaning more funds come in. I use the money to order beds in the cell block. Just need to wait another day and we can afford cell doors, and then another next batch of inmates can be held in the holding cell.



Without sleep for over 40 hours, Doom again jumps onto Penny's bed. Oh gawd...



Later on in the night, a pissed off Frankman moves onto Kave's bed. The horror...



Doom's not done yet...even later that night, he moves on to DM. DM better hope we get laundry service sometime soon!



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We'll get through the rest of Day 6 next post, and when Day 7 rolls around we should have enough funds for the first batch of individual cell rooms so we can bring in a new group of Gaffers into the holding cell.

-----

Reminder - For anyone wanting to see the master list of who's in the game, who needs more in-depth prison bios, and info on how to get your name on the list or more info for your character, go to this post:

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=96106213&postcount=15013

And as always, all images and posts are being archived here: https://xianaphryz.imgur.com
 
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