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NFL Preseason/Training Camp Thread |OT| - Make America Great For Once

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S

Sweeney Tom

Banned
http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2016-chicago-bears-1784867777

Dump this shit into the toilet.
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On Sunday, December 21st, 2014, my alarm went off around 8 a.m. I groaned. Then I got up, made some coffee, probably had something to eat. Showered. At this point it’s probably around 9 and my wife is stirring. I make some comment about needing to get dressed and then said something to try and guilt her into coming along. She wasn’t having it so I grimly started to get dressed. And that’s when she said:

“You know, you don’t have to go either.”

And it was like a 350-lb. lineman was lifted from my shoulder. I didn’t have to go either.

So that day I didn’t put on 5 layers of clothes and I didn’t trek a mile to the train in Chicago winter and I didn’t sweat profusely on a 45 minute train ride and I didn’t walk another mile or so with fellow meatheads to Soldier Field and I didn’t climb 3,000 stairs to my seats. I didn’t endure 3+ hours of wind and cold just to have to make a similarly awful return trip home.

And I didn’t see the Bears- led by Jimmy Fucking Clausen- lose to the Lions in person.

None of this seems like a revelation but I assure you: eating approximately $200 in tickets instead of enduring that shit changed me. I don’t have to go.
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I was going to read up on offseason activities, but stopped after seeing this headline. “Eddie Royal could be the Bears’ breakout player of 2016 | Bears Wire.” Scientology couldn’t get its followers to buy that claim.
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I can’t even make this team good in Madden 12.
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The greatest Bears Player of my generation is now a shill for a hair restoration place.
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Jay Cutler is the best QB we have had in my lifetime, and most Bears fans seem to be finally gripping that fact. The sad part was this wasn’t figured out due to any brilliant plays he made (though he did do well last season) it was because we watched this shitheap of a team without him. Holy shit. Watching Jimmy Clausen attempt to play QB against the Seahawks was downright pathetic. We punted so many times, our punter hurt his knee.
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S

Sweeney Tom

Banned
Syrinx said:
Is Deadspin even gonna bother with a "Why Your Team Sucks" for the Browns?
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They already did one.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2016-cleveland-browns-1784308358
It’s going to be pretty ironic in 2020 when Johnny Manziel is the homeless drunk guy giving advice to Jimmy Haslam on which QB we should draft that year.
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I went through this year’s schedule the day it came out and could not find a single game that I thought we had a chance of winning.
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The Browns have a Chief Strategy Officer they poached from the Mets. The Mets aren’t even a football team.

The Chief Strategy Officer used PFF to make all of his draft picks. Harambe could have done this.
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The 2015 Browns missed being the worst team in the NFL by a strength-of-schedule difference of .039 and now they’re even further into the void. Everywhere you look on Cleveland’s roster, you see moves that give away dead-to-rights that this team has no plan to compete for anything but next year’s #1 pick.

Tashaun Gipson, an undrafted free agent who was a beast from his first snap, made the Pro Bowl in 2014, and probably would have gone supernova again last season if he hadn’t gotten hurt, was allowed to walk. His replacement is Rahim Moore, a complete bust who only gets work because he was a second-round pick in 2011.

Alex Mack, one of the most durable and talented human beings ever to play on any offensive line, wasn’t offered a contract even though when he finally got hurt, we received painful proof every week that a truly great center like him is just not replaceable. His job goes to Cameron Erving, who was so awful last year that of course the Browns promoted him.

Mitchell Schwartz, who was terrible until his contract year, is gone. That’s probably for the better except his replacement at right tackle is either Austin Pasztor or Shon Coleman, two unknown quantities who help keep up the Browns’ permanent insistence on building an O-line with an invincible left side and a right side made of strictly theoretical elements.

Isaiah Crowell posted an image to his Instagram of a black man killing a white police officer and in the ensuing fury, pledged his first game check to the Dallas Fallen Officer Foundation.

They’ve been pretending to have a quarterback competition even though Robert Griffin III, who told Bruce Allen in 2012 that he was glad the Browns weren’t able to move up to draft him if you believe this sketchball Skins fan, has the job until he trips while jogging to the field for the first preseason game and crumbles to dust.

The Cavs just won Cleveland’s first big-league championship in a generation. The positive vibes were absolutely everywhere, and it was so predictable how good and mellow and just happy everybody would be that the police didn’t need to round up abandoned couches. (Ahem.) And believe it or not, the Indians are actually a team to beat this year. What if they win the World Series? Would Cleveland turn into one of these cities full of constantly-victorious teams whose spoiled dipshit fans just expect trophies every year? With this strange “winning” sensation Cleveland’s got all of a sudden, I find myself with a new, unfamiliar mindset: I’m unable to care about the Browns. I want to but I sincerely don’t. I bet Joe Thomas feels the same way.
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After some brief research I noticed that in the past 17 seasons, the Jags have finished at the bottom of their division three times, while the Browns have NOT finished last in their division four times.
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Back in 2014 the Browns blew a late game lead against the Indianapolis Colts, capped off by an interception from Brian Hoyer. As I walked out of the bar an irate Browns fan/delivery man from one of the local chicken wing joints, still in his work uniform with a delivery in-hand, sprinted into the bar, delivered a box of food to one of the customers and spent about two minutes screaming obscenities about Brian Hoyer and the team, and how Manziel needs to be the starter, to the TV sets before hopping back into his car and continuing on his route. Manziel made his first start the following week against Cincinnati and got shut out.
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We spent $100K on study that said we should take Bridgewater and our literal crook owner vetoed it to take Johnny Fucking Football. That somehow doesn’t even crack our Top 25 worst moments since coming back to town.
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The Cleveland Browns ended their 2015 on January 3, 2016. There has not been a single moment since when we have been given any reason to think that the 2016 product would be an improvement from last year’s team, which went 3-13. But it does not matter, because right now Cleveland is the city with the shortest drought in major sports championships.
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B

bionic77

Member
Ben lost 15 pounds in the offseason.

Lazy fucker waited until he was 34 before deciding to get into shape.

What a scumbag.

That said. Go Steelers!
 
K

Kastrioti

Persecution Complex
What every NFL starting QB focused on this offseason

Aaron Rodgers: Slim down and tone up

It's no coincidence coach Mike McCarthy reported that Rodgers is "the best shape I've seen him in." That was the 32-year-old quarterback's focus this offseason. His revamped diet -- which eliminated cheese and other dairy products -- paid off. He's listed as 225 pounds but said this offseason he was around 218. When he reported for training camp, he said: "I'm as light as I've been in a while, but my muscle mass is as strong as it's been when I weighed 10 pounds heavier." -- Rob Demovsky
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http://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/pag...caneers-aaron-rodgers-green-bay-packers#NFC N

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dZqo4OZ0Pqs
 
Z

Zvonimir Boban

Banned
Kastrioti said:
What every NFL starting QB focused on this offseason

Aaron Rodgers: Slim down and tone up



http://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/pag...caneers-aaron-rodgers-green-bay-packers#NFC N

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dZqo4OZ0Pqs
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Mark Sanchez: Improve ball security
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Not even gonna do it, it's too easy.

EDIT: I also enjoyed

Jay Cutler: Reduce turnovers
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Sam Bradford: Study Eagles' offense
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CcE3VvG.gif
 
J

JABEE

Member
http://www.bleedinggreennation.com/...-doug-pederson-sam-bradford-quarterback-snaps

Carson Wentz might very well start out the Eagles' 2016 season as a game day inactive, but the rookie quarterback will get plenty of playing time during Philadelphia's first preseason game this Thursday evening. Following practice on Monday, Doug Pederson explained how the Eagles' quarterbacks will split playing time.

"I’m going to try and get them all in the game," Pederson said. "Obviously, Sam [Bradford] will start with the ones. I got Chase [Daniel] going in there. Carson will take the bulk of the second half. And then when I get an opportunity I want to see McLeod [Bethel-Thompson] get some time late in the game."

Preseason football isn't all that interesting to begin with, but the second half of games are typically even more boring since the starters are long gone by that point. The intrigue of getting to see Wentz play, however, adds an untypical intrigue to the game. For many Eagles fans, this will be their first chance to get a look at the team's future franchise quarterback.

Wentz has looked impressive at times during Eagles training camp. He's also had some struggles, though, and it's clear he's not seriously challenging for the starting job right now. Pederson touched on what he specifically wants to see out of Wentz during the rookie's first crack at game action.
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Wentz will play most of the 2nd Half on Thursday.

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H

Himynameischris

Member
Ryan Tannehill: Work on pocket presence

New coach Adam Gase studied the tape and determined Tannehill can begin taking his game to the next level by working on footwork and pocket presence. "Just focus on the little things -- the details, whether it's footwork, read, progression, protection -- there are so many things that go into playing the position," said Tannehill when asked of his areas of improvement. "I think that [Gase is] an expert in pushing guys to reach their potential, and I'm excited to have him." -- James Walker
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Pretty much and the biggest reason for not being able to improve this aspect compared to all the other areas of his game that he has improved on has been because of the garbage O-Line. If you don't trust your O-Line you can't get a feel for the pocket, but he did improve last year so I hope with a better O-Line this year that should be less of an issue.
 
T

Tom Penny

Member
Himynameischris said:
Pretty much and the biggest reason for not being able to improve this aspect compared to all the other areas of his game that he has improved on has been because of the garbage O-Line. If you don't trust your O-Line you can't get a feel for the pocket, but he did improve last year so I hope with a better O-Line this year that should be less of an issue.
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I hear the dolphins offense looks sharp. The were able to get one first down in 8 possessions in scrimmage. Not bad.
 
M

MechDX

Member
http://www.houstontexans.com/news/a...xansCamp/0ce55fd2-4523-4194-afd7-b770e3c716f8

12. Later in the period, Miller was working against one of the defensive backs in one-on-ones. In all the years I’ve covered the Texans, I’ve never seen a receiver lose defensive backs the way that Braxton does. He had the defensive back trailing him down the field, but right on his heels. Miller broke down to prepare for his cut and then darted to his right. The defensive back went...left. I saw that throughout his career at Ohio State. I saw that at the Senior Bowl. I’m seeing it again here. He could get open in a phone booth.
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im-so-giddy-i-cant-contain-myself.gif
 
H

harSon

Banned
bionic77 said:
Ben lost 15 pounds in the offseason.

Lazy fucker waited until he was 34 before deciding to get into shape.

What a scumbag.

That said. Go Steelers!
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What? Ben loses weight every off season and then proceeds to gain it back and more until he's in his ultimate winter slob form.
 
J

Josh5890

Member
Grover Cleveland said:
Josh Norman signed a 1 year deal to make appearances on FOX. (At least 10 over the year plus probably sitting at the desk for their Countdown show on the Washington NFL Franchise's bye week)

Also as President of NFL-GAF, I love all of the fantasy leagues equally.

Dutch signed me to a deal to hawk Shirtless tho....
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http://awfulannouncing.com/2016/report-washingtons-josh-norman-to-join-foxs-nfl-coverage.html

Apparently Jay Gruden had no idea about this. Thia should make for an interesting development.
 
B

Bread

Banned
Everyone at breadstream wants to thank the hundreds of NFL-GAF users who signed The Breadstream Pledge, a pledge that you will name every planet or creature you come across in No Man's Sky after your favorite web streaming service, Breadstream. We can't wait to see all the planets you find and name after us!
 
B

bionic77

Member
harSon said:
What? Ben loses weight every off season and then proceeds to gain it back and more until he's in his ultimate winter slob form.
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This year is different.

I read a cutting edge article that he has doing this new form of exercise called "cardio". He invested in a state of the art treadmill and the experts have taught him that moving and exercising will lead to a loss in weight.

I expect that he will utilize this scientific breakthrough and keep the weight off through the season.
 
M

Milchjon

Member
I still don't quite understand the hate for Gawker and Deadspin in particular.

And this disclaimer under a really dumb post about trying to get Jason Whitlock to post Mein Kampf excerpts made me laugh somewhat hard.

orfcAw6.png
 
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