Sweeney Tom
Banned
here's the Bills http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2016-buffalo-bills-1785446085
We’ve had more people fall from the top deck at Ralph Wilson Stadium than wins in the playoffs over the last 16 years.
Even Cleveland has a championship now.
The last time we had a home prime time game, two people died. Our home opener is a Thursday night game against the Jets. Shit.
Rex Ryan, lauded as some sort of defensive genius, showed up in 2015 and in his first news conference promised to, “build a bully.” The defense, with 9 of 11 starters returning, dropped all the way to 31st in sacks, 19th in yards allowed, and 15th in points allowed. The team finished 8-8.
What did we do to make sure 2016 would be different?
Bills 2016 Draft (* indicates pre-draft knowledge)
Round 1 – DE that needs surgery* and will likely start the season on the PUP list
Round 2 – Give up picks to move up and select an ILB that has an enlarged aorta*
Round 3 – DT that was arrested trying to pay an undercover cop $100 for a blowie*
Round 4 – QB whose ENTIRE college career totals are 11 starts, 15 TD, and 7 INT*
Round 5 – RB who got busted for DUI between mini camp and training camp
Round 6 – With two picks in this round, we take a WR and a CB despite having Watkins and one of the best young corner duos in Gilmore and Darby.
Since the Bills last made the playoffs, I’ve finished elementary, middle, and high school. I started and finished college, was gainfully employed for four years after college, and am currently interning after my first year of graduate school. The other day I bragged that the Bills just had back-to-back non-losing season.
Last season, during a Patriots extra-point attempt, in other words, immediately following a Patriots touchdown, the Bills committed a taunting penalty.
I can still remember watching the Music City Miracle happen before my eyes. I was a happy, somewhat unassuming 8-year old, watching the game at a friend’s house (the type of jerkoff who you feature on this very website for lighting himself on fire at a tailgate... he’s now in jail). As Derrick Mason crossed the goal line, my friend’s white-trash father finished his (probably fresh) beer, gently setting that empty can down, and walked out their front door without saying a word, his eyes staring vacantly into the abyss.
A part of my innocence died that day.
Starting next season, Bills fans may have to specify which Clinton was President the last time they were in the playoffs.
There’s still a hole in the drywall at my dad’s house from the Music City Miracle. My preteen ears had never heard cursing like that before.