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[RedRum]

https://deadspin.com/every-nhl-team-is-bad-a-season-preview-1818851595

some gems:

Thanks to this link I just found out that the Wings' new arena is named after pizza.

I'm okay with this.

All arena's should be named after food.

 

[Erdrick]

I saw a man in maybe his 50s or 60s wearing a Jets shirt.

I wanted to tell him that Bell quietly raised prices for MTS service users to make him feel bad.

Back when prices weren't as expensive for phone usage I suppose.

But then he could reply by telling you a tale when he was young back when the Leafs last won the cup.

 

[a916]

New York Islanders

2016-17 record: 41-29-12

What’s bad: No one has done less with more for as long as Garth Snow, who went straight from the ice to the front office and, hey, what do you know? He’s blown more first-round picks than Lisa Ann. This team is John Tavares and 19 people slowly pulling Tavares’s prime into a watery grave. Tavares is a free agent after the season and currently on a team that’s never winning the Cup and could be playing next season in Quebec, Seattle, Kansas City, Brooklyn, Long Island, or an abandoned warehouse on Staten Island. If he comes back next season, he’s dumber than Snow.

Lord if that isn't how I feel about him...

 

[Yawnier]

Lord if that isn't how I feel about him...

Lmao

He’s blown more first-round picks than Lisa Ann.

 

[Quick]

Detroit Red Wings

2016-17 record: 33-36-13

What’s bad: Super-old players that aren’t good anymore but have expensive, long-term contracts have left the Red Wings in a state of extreme dilapidation. You know how the New England Patriots continue to win with ruthless, cold-blooded decisions that result in beloved players thrown out on their asses all the time? The Red Wings are the bizarro version of that franchise, and they just bilked taxpayers into funding an arena named after the worst pizza on the planet. The Red Wings have eight players signed to contracts that will take them beyond age 35 and two beyond age 40. They are a third Red movie nobody wants.

This is gud

 

[Cake Boss]

Fuck the wings

 

[shadowkat]

I am ready.

 

[Socreges]

What’s bad: No one has done less with more for as long as Garth Snow, who went straight from the ice to the front office and, hey, what do you know? He’s blown more first-round picks than Lisa Ann. This team is John Tavares and 19 people slowly pulling Tavares’s prime into a watery grave. Tavares is a free agent after the season and currently on a team that’s never winning the Cup and could be playing next season in Quebec, Seattle, Kansas City, Brooklyn, Long Island, or an abandoned warehouse on Staten Island. If he comes back next season, he’s dumber than Snow.

Fuck, this is depressing.

 

[lamaroo]

I am ready.

Got all your beer ready?

 

[DopeyFish]

why do they have the leafs roster drawing all these players

 

[Samyy]

HOCKEY!!!!

 

[Unhandled Exception]

Fuck, this is depressing.

Not gonna lie, that was a huge concern of mine regarding MacKinnon. At least Rantanen will be around for a long time too.

 

[Harrison Bergeron]

Wouldn't be surprised if the Leafs fall flat on their faces in this opening game, but they'll be all right. Potential to be an exciting game though.

 

[imBask]

why do they have the leafs roster drawing all these players

nice

 

[shadowkat]

Got all your beer ready?

:|

 

[ElephantShell]

Wouldn't be surprised if the Leafs fall flat on their faces in this opening game, but they'll be all right. Potential to be an exciting game though.

I'm predicting a Jets goal in the first 5 mins then it will even out and probably go to OT.

 

[DopeyFish]

jesus fuck jets

you could stop with the jet sounds and the siren

 

[SuperSonic1305]

The Jets have been back for 5 seasons already? Jesus.

 

[CreeperBlocks]

When the NHL gets new Alternate Jerseys, can we get a Classic Jets Jersey?

 

[Erdrick]

Ahhh opening night. Love this!

 

[Cake Boss]

jesus fuck jets

you could stop with the jet sounds and the siren

It's representative of all people that leave Winnipeg.

 

[imBask]

Ahhh opening night. Love this!

one of the few nights a year you're not mathematically eliminated

 

[Erdrick]

one of the few nights a year you're not mathematically eliminated

Talk shit to me once you've got an actual NHL team in front of your goalie.

Go ahead.

I'll wait.

 

[ElephantShell]

Talk shit to me once you've got an actual NHL team in front of your goalie.

Go ahead.

I'll wait.

They dont need an NHL team they have fuckin Joe.

 

[Yawnier]

It's representative of all people that leave Winnipeg.

one of the few nights a year you're not mathematically eliminated

Thread is already on fire tonight

 

[DopeyFish]

Talk shit to me once you've got an actual NHL team in front of your goalie.

Go ahead.

I'll wait.

at least they have a goalie

 

[Ondor]

Okay Jets, I've got money on you this year so don't screw this up

Spoiler

like you did the past two seasons:|

 

[Cake Boss]

Talk shit to me once you've got an actual NHL goalie in front of your team.

Go ahead.

I'll wait.

Ftfy.

 

[Quick]

No whoosh sounds for scratched players.

 

[RedRum]

No whoosh sounds for scratched players.

LOL

 

[Harrison Bergeron]

Laine's going to win the Rocket Richard this year.

 

[imBask]

Talk shit to me once you've got an actual NHL team in front of your goalie.

Go ahead.

I'll wait.

I expect nothing less than an agressive knee-jerk reaction from a guy rooting for a team full of big goons

how's the weather in 1976?

 

[Cake Boss]

No whoosh sounds for scratched players.

Edited. Don't want to get banned on opening day lol.

 

[Harrison Bergeron]

The same silence you expect when their cops kill indegenious people.

Ok, that's a bit much for friendly hockey trash talk don't you think?

 

[Clydefrog]

H o c
K e y

M o u s e

 

[Ondor]

The same silence you expect when their cops kill indegenious people.

fuck

 

[CreeperBlocks]

.

Psst Cake... remember we’re in off topic not community my friend

 

[DopeyFish]

... and edmonton?

wat

4 injuries is enough for a moment of silence?

edit: oh sorry, 5 injuries

 

[Harrison Bergeron]

Never realized how tiny that barn in Winnipeg is. Looks like an AHL rink still.

 

[DopeyFish]

Never realized how tiny that barn in Winnipeg is. Looks like an AHL rink still.

very representative of the quality of their team

COME AT ME ERDRICK

 

[Ondor]

... and edmonton?

wat

4 injuries is enough for a moment of silence?

edit: oh sorry, 5 injuries

They're keeping the politics out of hockey by having a moment of silence for every city.

 

[RedRum]

Season opening hate is the best hate.

 

[Dubbedinenglish]

No whoosh sounds for scratched players.

They’re grounded

 

[Smiley90]

Edited. Don't want to get banned on opening day lol.

Cakey is ALL. IN. on day one

 

[Harrison Bergeron]

Lol, Paul Maurice. What a fraud.

 

[ElephantShell]

Is it possible that Laine'd facial hair is worse this year?

I think it is.

Its not for everyone Patrick just shave it.

 

[Erdrick]

I expect nothing less than an agressive knee-jerk reaction from a guy rooting for a team full of big goons

how's the weather in 1976?

Dunno, wasn't born yet.

Other than Byfuglien, who is regarded as a goon on the Jets by other team fans?

 

[Wingfan19]

Hockey tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime!!!!

 

[Quick]

Edited. Don't want to get banned on opening day lol.

I appreciate your realness Cake.

They’re grounded

Ohhhhhhhhh makes sense.

Never realized how tiny that barn in Winnipeg is. Looks like an AHL rink still.

Second smallest by seat capacity I think. Barclays Center is the smallest in the league.

 

[BigJonsson]

GO LEAFS GO!