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[CrazedArabMan]

H: Hey Cleary, I know we made a deal with you last year to look after you after this season, but you didn't play much because you are made of glass, you fell down more than a toddler learning to walk, you had less points than than Ville Leino, and you just flat out suck. But you do have those old intangibles that we really need.

C: Why thanks Holland, you are a nice guy, I'm so lucky you are our GM, so can I get a contract offer based on our verbal agreement from last year?

H: Certainly! Babcock and I agree that we need an old vet who can be a big body on the ice and give us that leadership in the locker room that will put us ahead of other teams.

B: Yup, we need Cleary back Real Gud!

H: Let's take a look at your play from last year to come to a number we can both work with:

C: Uh, that isn't me from last year...

H: Oh, my mistake, you played so little last year and were irrelevant when you were on the ice that I had to dig up something from the previous years... But anyways how does 1.5 million sound for one year.

C: That's a little low, my intangibles and leadership are worth more than that.

H: OK, how about an extra 1 million in bonuses just for not falling down when you step on the ice.

C: That's going to be tough but I can do it.

H: Alright we have a deal!!!

B: Don't worry Danny boy, we'll slot you into the top unit since Pavs needs a big body to play with, and you can screen the goalie by falling into him on the first power play unit. I like that real gud!

C: Awesome, let's celebrate!

Q: Hey guys, can I join

H: Of course Quincey, so glad you and your 4.2 million dollars per year decided to join us in welcoming back a veteran leader who will take this team to the Stanley Cup! Both of you make this offseason one of the best in years! We like our team.

B: Yup, they both are real gud guys.

Meanwhile, Wings fans:

Le Fin

 

[Razorskin]

Let's be honest--he's not touching those bonuses.

All the bonus money hinges on him being able to finish a shift.

 

[zroid]

#PrayForCrazed

 

[Freyjadour]

I can't even enjoy the Wings being stuck with Cleary, since the Blues signed Ott.

If you need him he'll be where he usually is.

 

[CrazedArabMan]

#PrayForCrazed

I want this to be a real hashtag, you twitter folk get on it!

 

[MetatronM]

I actually saw the Cleary thing online earlier at work and just got a big ridiculous grin on my face knowing what this thread would be like.

 

[Plinko]

It's funny.

I thought I'd be stunned, but I'm not. I expected this. Holland has nothing left. He's done. Salary cap ends and he can't do crap. Terrible trades. Awful in free agency.

 

[Kave_Man]

oh wow you still post here?

I skip out on the offseason.

The crazy reactions have lost some of their lustre.

 

[CrazedArabMan]

I skip out on the offseason.

The crazy reactions have lost some of their lustre.

I would usually have more of a rage post but I expected this so it is no surprise to me the stupidity Holland had done this year.

 

[RC]

I would usually have more of a rage post but I expected this so it is no surprise to me the stupidity Holland had done this year.

You've let me down Crazed.

 

[T.M. MacReady]

I would usually have more of a rage post but I expected this so it is no surprise to me the stupidity Holland had done this year.

this post is like the Al Capone's vault of Offseason NHLGaf.

 

[CrazedArabMan]

You've let me down Crazed.

Sorry

I thought my picture story would substitute a classic rage.

 

[Marvie_3]

yeeeessssss

$2.5M for Cleary? Bargain.

looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

 

[Socreges]

That wasn't rage but it was pretty crazy. Seems like someone who's finally snapped. Maybe it'd be more convincing if he'd had puppets instead of pictures.

 

[CrazedArabMan]

That wasn't rage but it was pretty crazy. Seems like someone who's finally snapped. Maybe it'd be more convincing if he'd had puppets instead of pictures.

Only if you hand make the puppets for me to use.

 

[Unhandled Exception]

Oreilly on the trade market seems more and more likely.

 

[Stasis]

For all two of you following my PS3 sale, I'm happy to report all went well! She was just genuinely nice. And I've spent some of the money with no issues.

 

[shadowkat]

Because us of the neogaf cat mafia don't degrade ourselves like that!

Exactly.

 

[Unhandled Exception]

Leafs fans will make an offer you can't refuse!

I'll need the laughs amidst this bullshit yet again. Two times it's been contract time for the guy with two different people handling the negotiations and we get the same result. Get a good return and ship this kid out to the nearest capfloor team who wants to be at the ceiling with one contract. I'm sick of it.

 

[equippedwithtowel]

This will get use.

 

[gaming_noob]

JVR for O'Reilly?

A future of O'Reilly and Nylander down the middle would be siiiick.

 

[Wingfan19]

AMAZING POST

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLZ!!!!

 

[Roflobear]

.

lol amazing couple of posts

 

[DopeyFish]

JVR for O'Reilly?

A future of O'Reilly and Nylander down the middle would be siiiick.

Or phaneuf and a pick

Do ittttt

 

[gaming_noob]

Or phaneuf and a pick

Do ittttt

Nah man, HFboards Avs fans don't seem to want Phaneuf. Sell high on JVR...

 

[ShaneB]

Dan Cleary is a good ol Newfoundlander. He'll always be ok in my books.

 

[zroid]

Nah man, HFboards Avs fans don't seem to want Phaneuf. Sell high on JVR...

don't teams always do the opposite of what HFboards wants? or was it the other way around...

 

[Marvie_3]

Finally watched that lastest NHL 15 video. Glad to see EA spending another year on trivial details that nobody cares about instead of fixing the broken gameplay.

 

[DopeyFish]

don't teams always do the opposite of what HFboards wants? or was it the other way around...

Except for the JVR/Schenn trade

It was the one damn proposal where i saw basically everyone agree it was a good idea

 

[Unhandled Exception]

Finally watched that lastest NHL 15 video. Glad to see EA spending another year on trivial details that nobody cares about instead of fixing the broken gameplay.

BUT DUDE DID YOU SEE DEM CLOTH PHYSICS

ALSO REALISTIC ARENAS

ALSO fuck that Fantasy League was way more fun anyway.

 

[Dastardly Jerks]

At some point to we begin to wonder what outsiders' perception of the community is when threads like these (and similar/worse depressing news stories and manufactured outrage) are regularly near the top of the front page and garnering large post counts?

People that get their perspective of the world based on what they read on GAF are gonna have one hell of a screwed-up perception.

And since that's like, 90% of GAF... Ho boy.

Would you date a GIRL who had genital herpes? A GIRL??? Why are you imposing your gender binaries on me??? RAPE!

lol, funny enough someone said pretty much that.

But there were girls in there shitposting with the "Hell no" line of posting, so I'm assuming they were also saying they wouldn't date a girl who had herpes because they aren't homosexual.

Forgot about him, I wonder what injury he's dealing with right now.

I'm not sure if it's a result of me being on here for a few years now, or just Gaf getting more popular, but this kind of shit seems to be becoming more and more prevalent.

The internet brings weirdos together. I mean, what's the difference between a bunch of guys talking about fucking ponies and anime girls and us watching the Leafs get fucked every March?

How are you supposed to carry out a fully fledged relationship without sexual stimulation, Giggzy? Sex is an important aspect of any relationship. Unless you're saying a guy and his 2D woman of choice aren't really together...which just strikes me as regressive and probably is a stance that would be frowned upon by 3021. You should really try opening up your mind or your great grand children will be talking about their lineage of bigotry. If you can even have children in a respectable society.

[macklemore voice] this is fucking awesome

Oh man I wonder if the duck mask on the lower corner towards the back is holographic it looks like it

It is! Hrtc linked an instagram video of it a while ago shimmering in the light.

Hiller was the first to have a matte mask and now Gibson is the first to have a holographic mask. Ducks setting new fashion trends in mask design? You bet your bottom dollar they are *starts making out with a Webbed D*

I believe in a thing called "Love". Just listen into the rhythm of my heart.

Fun fact: I wore a The Darkness hoodie pretty much 24/7 for the winter of 2005.

Fun story: On friday nights, me and some pals used to go to an underground metal bar that had live bands. All meeting up after work in the city CBD etc. One evening, there was a huge group of big burly tradies. All oldskool sort of metalheads etc. I put on "The Darkness - I believe in a thing called love" on the jukebox and sat back down. Song comes on and this booth full of old metalheads got absolutely rowdy and pissed off "AWWW WHAT THA FARK IS THIS SHIT AWW YEW FARKIN KIDDING FARKIN CHANGE IT SHANE" and so this "Shane" guy got up and paid for the next track, Motley Crue or some shit... But my table and I caught onto it. Laughed our asses off at their reaction and hatched a plan. We all chucked in some change, waited til they were distracted, got $20 worth of jukebox tokens and went over and paid for 10 The Darkness songs in a row... All 3 they had on there... "I believe in a thing called love" "Love is only a feeling" and "Christmas Time (Don't Let the Bells End)" - the end song being the most hilarious because it was obviously a fucking Xmas gimmick track.

After the first track, they got pissed off again. After the second, they were even louder, after the third they started yelling at the bar staff (who just shrugged). Next rotation, you could see them start to get sad and defeated. They were actually whimpering and looking downtrodden. We sat there watching them for most of it waiting for them to just give up. On the third playthrough of the Xmas gimmick track, they finally left all while yelling abuse "FARKIN' SHIT PLACE. WHAT THE FARK. FARRRRRRK".

It. was. glorious.

We should start some NHL fanfics.

Manics and Kadri. But updated to 2014...

Crazed and Cleary.

https://twitter.com/danyallstar15/status/487335578393120768

This guy is killing it

Really enjoying these tweets.

Makes me wonder what # jersey Heatley will go though... 51? Getzlaf had to wear that during the Olympics. But 5x numbers are probably too rookie for The Motherfuckin' All Star.

 

[Plinko]

Finally watched that lastest NHL 15 video. Glad to see EA spending another year on trivial details that nobody cares about instead of fixing the broken gameplay.

This right here.

EVERY year.

 

[Dastardly Jerks]

This right here.

EVERY year.

You'll all still buy it anyway.

(As will I)

 

[zroid]

I would rather pay for DLC roster updates to NHL '94 than buy the new games

 

[MacAttack]

Finally watched that lastest NHL 15 video. Glad to see EA spending another year on trivial details that nobody cares about instead of fixing the broken gameplay.

Just like the Bruins off-season, I don't even bother checking anymore. See y'all in the regular season.

 

[ShaneB]

I would rather pay for DLC roster updates to NHL '94 than buy the new games

http://www.nhl94.com/

 

[zroid]

http://www.nhl94.com/

.
.
.

mindblown.gif

 

[ShaneB]

.
.
.

mindblown.gif

The dedication some of these folks keeping communities like that alive is just crazy to me. I'm in a Madden 08 PC league, and the community is devoted as hell with roster updates. I posted some screenshots of updated NHL 94 ages ago as well. Crazy stuff.

 

[Calamari41]

*starts making out with a Webbed D*

This guy gets it. He gets it.

Long Live The Webbed D. Long may he reign.

 

[Quick]

Digging through my NHL-GAF Photoshop archive. Memories.

 

[shadowkat]

Those are great.

Love Kave's banner.

And this doesn't even include the books.

 

[Cake Boss]

This will always be my favorite, we looked so young here. Where has the time gone

 

[Marvie_3]

This will always be my favorite, we looked so young here. Where has the time gone

Pretending to be drunk on the internet causes you to age much quicker than normal.

 

[Cake Boss]

Margie pls.

 

[T.M. MacReady]

More things need to be "Presented by After Hours".

 

[Kave_Man]

Those are great.

Love Kave's banner.

And this doesn't even include the books.

Back when After Hours started I became the unofficial end of it when I'd show up in the morning to announce who might be starting in goal for the Leafs.

 

[Dastardly Jerks]

Where's the Cat respondent Leafs goalie update banner?

This will always be my favorite, we looked so young here. Where has the time gone

Time has ravaged us, friend.

 

[Dastardly Jerks]

Back when After Hours started I became the unofficial end of it when I'd show up in the morning to announce who might be starting in goal for the Leafs.

This is true. When Kavey showed up, you knew it was time to get back to normal. Like werewolves.

 

[Acid08]

DW backpedaling on his "rebuild" talk.

Such a weird offseason. I think it's clear he wasn't able to get Jumbo or Patty to waive so his talk is shifting. This half assed attempt at shaking things up is so dumb and signing dudes like Mike Brown and John Scott to contracts when we have younger players to fill those rolls is so opposite of what he was preaching.

It'll be interesting to see who starts with the team this year. I certainly hope he's somewhat serious and players like Hamilton, Tennyson, Tierny, Hayes, and Mueller get their shot at the team over guys like Kennedy, Burish, Brown, and Scott.

At least we're going to have cap space to work with this year, unlike last. Makes a trade deadline acquisition much more realistic.

 

[Holiday]

If you need him he'll be where he usually is.

I laughed, but in that way a person laughs when they're hiding sadness.