BIONIC-ARRRMMM!!
Member
Don't worry guys. This sexy son of a gun will save the dubya E
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November Wrasslin' |OT| Survival Season Without The G
- Thread starter tm24
- Start date
darkside31337
Tomodachi wa Mahou
I thought JBL had a good explanation - how ironclad could a contract really be if Johnny Ace was the one who was wrote it up?
Also Johnny Ace being back was totally awesome. Like they managed to break an entire years worth of storyline that culminated in him being fired and he comes back on the show for a segment advertising K-Mart and some toys. The absurdity of it all made it pretty great.
"Lol Johnny Ace sucks at his job" is a handwave at best. It's just a flimsy way to transition from one story to another.
Johnny Ace coming back to shill is another great example of how continuity works in the WWE.
Is the LAW on tonight? Station I had bookmarked is talking about football/handegg.
Professor Beef
Banned
Why not? It makes more sense than Orton/Bryan.
It's just sad that they couldn't use Cena to build that second title to mean something. Instead, they just moved him over to that belt so they could get a good unification match. This tells the current crop of Smackdown talent, they aren't good enough for that big of a match. I mean, they aren't but they're really putting it out there.
Orton/Cena
Orton/Bryan.
Why does Orton need to be a part of this? He has dragged down every main event of the last four PPVs, he doesn't draw ratings or buyrates despite nearly a decade of pushing, he gets weak reactions from crowds constantly.
So, are we headed to a Unification match? Finally. Get this over with and finally retire Big Gold. I've always thought having the two titles were silly. "World Heavyweight Champion" would encompass and override the "WWE Champion" but it was always treated as a second fiddle belt.
Unify it, retire Big Gold, use the new WWE belt and have one World Heavyweight Championship. Unify the US/Intercontinental belts too. If you need two mid card titles, use the IC belt and then reintroduce the TV title that is defended on every Raw/Smackdown/PPV as a title that is used to get exposure to young, up and coming stars. Also, reintroduce the 15 minute time limit rule for the TV title too. We used really nicely when heels had the belt.
Unify it, retire Big Gold, use the new WWE belt and have one World Heavyweight Championship. Unify the US/Intercontinental belts too. If you need two mid card titles, use the IC belt and then reintroduce the TV title that is defended on every Raw/Smackdown/PPV as a title that is used to get exposure to young, up and coming stars. Also, reintroduce the 15 minute time limit rule for the TV title too. We used really nicely when heels had the belt.
I nearly did this last year after that awful SS but TLC ended up being one of the stronger shows last year.
While I actually love that idea from a visual element I think that if they are really going to go with unification (which they should have done years ago when the brand split ended) you should probably save it for Royal Rumble or Wrestlemania.
That being said an EC match with both champs in there and only one winner would be really great too.
HarryDemeanor
Member
Somebody should take the WrestleMania 2000 main event and put a Triple H in every corner along with all four competitors as Triple H.
Speedy Blue Dude
Banned
So I didn't watch Survivor Series... just reading your reactions (will read the reviews later), so... how the fuck did Cena challenging Orton work?
"Hey Orton, fuck you give me back my belt. I just beat Alberto Del Rio and realized, no one here deserves to even fucking challenge me for this shitty belt, give me back my real fucking belt you bitch because I'm the only one here who deserves a fucking belt."
"Hey Orton, fuck you give me back my belt. I just beat Alberto Del Rio and realized, no one here deserves to even fucking challenge me for this shitty belt, give me back my real fucking belt you bitch because I'm the only one here who deserves a fucking belt."
Not necessarily Orton's fault. He's not great by any means, but the man can get some pops. Problem is he comes with a hell of a big anchor around his neck:
These two have cut the legs out from underneath everyone in the main event scene. Neither is willing to appear vulnerable yet butts into everything and as a result, no one has any teeth. DBry came off as dangerous and capable as a 14 year old with a couple of vandalism charges against these two. Big Show wept a lot (yet managed to get the only gleams of good booking since Summerslam), Orton is second banana to HHH because of the latter's whims and we're reminded of that constantly.
There's more to it than that, though; even the H's were good at being heels, they haven't structured the story in a way that leads to closure. These two have just dominated the time needed to build feuds around the things that actually matter (the belts and the wrestlers' relationships with one another) and haven't given us anything to make up for that. Everything is filtered through them and nothing is the better for it; there's no comeuppance on the horizon and since neither wants to look weak (despite it being NECESSARY for these roles), we don't even get teases that something may be coming. They just exist, taking up time and giving nothing back. Five PPVs in a row with HHH interference or other BS and we have nothing but the promise of more to come. They don't even have the gravitas they need to justify that behavior any more; they want to be the mega heels, the Vince McMahons of the PG era, but waste their time booking their heel allies (Shield, Vicki and Brad) as if they were face managers, trying to get "So cool" pops from the crowd on the mic at the cost of neutering their talent by embarrassing them or engaging in whatever arcane one-ups-manship/carnie code BS that leads to this neverending parade of no-selling, spotlight hogging, directionless pap week in and week out. It's pointless. What does it mean? What are their motivations? Why should we care?
The end result is going to be the same, regardless of who's in the ring. The PPVs don't matter because there are no stakes that matter. It's all tied up with these two, who have no idea what they're doing but trying to look better than everyone while they do it. I'm sure Orton's to blame for some of this PPV's problems, but I'm laying the majority of it at the Hs' feet.
He just went out there and raised the belt..
Technically he didn't get a rematch after Bryan beat him for the belt.
bean breath
Member
Norman Smiley sighting on Total Divas.
HarryDemeanor
Member
He came out and posed a bit. That's how they did it.
I guess that's really how you get a title shot these days.
Daniel Bryan has touched that title for the last time. It's just like with Ryder. Both got themselves over when they shouldn't have and both were paired with Cena in some way to see if they had what it took, and they didn't.
You guys should be lucky that Bryan can even claim to be a WWE Champion. Triple H did us all a favor.
Orton will duck the shit outta Cena, and get cheap wins to retain. FORCING CENA TO DEFEND THE WWE UNIVERSE AND ENTER THE ROYAL RUMBLE TO CHALLENGE ORTON AT WRESTLEMANIA 30.
He eliminates Daniel Bryan for the win, just to remind all of you that the WWE knows what you REALLY want. You want the two ABSOLUTE BEST.
Oh and those Yes chants? They belong to John Cena. Always have.
You guys should be lucky that Bryan can even claim to be a WWE Champion. Triple H did us all a favor.
Orton will duck the shit outta Cena, and get cheap wins to retain. FORCING CENA TO DEFEND THE WWE UNIVERSE AND ENTER THE ROYAL RUMBLE TO CHALLENGE ORTON AT WRESTLEMANIA 30.
He eliminates Daniel Bryan for the win, just to remind all of you that the WWE knows what you REALLY want. You want the two ABSOLUTE BEST.
Oh and those Yes chants? They belong to John Cena. Always have.
bean breath
Member
All throughout the show there were backstage promos were Orton would air his frustrations to The Authority. Towards the end of the show, John Cena was now with The Authority speaking in hushed tones. When Orton walked in and saw this, they stared each other down before Cena left. Orton then questioned The Authority, wondering WTF was going on.
Cut to Cena coming out after Orton won.
They'll fill in the holes tomorrow night.
WhoaIsThatMars
Member
I was at the show. Currently uploading what happened when they went off air. I'll throw it on here when it's done uploading
Arrowgigantic
Member
Twitter joke:
"This was the worst Survivor Series finish of all time." --Bret Hart
"This was the worst Survivor Series finish of all time." --Bret Hart
WhoaIsThatMars
Member
Here ya goooooo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTaME2Eu37E
should be noted that I ran out of space on my phone where it cuts off. HHH throws jacket on floor and unties tie. Vince comes out and stops him. Vince walks toward ring. HHH stops him. Vince picks up his jacket off the floor and uses it as if he was doing the Ole shit with Cena teasing him to come at him. Then the show ended. Interesting...I guess
We'll see them throw all of this out the window tomorrow night on Raw so whatever lol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTaME2Eu37E
should be noted that I ran out of space on my phone where it cuts off. HHH throws jacket on floor and unties tie. Vince comes out and stops him. Vince walks toward ring. HHH stops him. Vince picks up his jacket off the floor and uses it as if he was doing the Ole shit with Cena teasing him to come at him. Then the show ended. Interesting...I guess
We'll see them throw all of this out the window tomorrow night on Raw so whatever lol
I don't understand anything anymore.
Why are Triple H and Stephanie playing antagonist to Orton? Triple H pedigree's Bryan, declares Orton the face of the company and what's best for business, but afterwards they keep going against him and telling him off... I skip around alot during Raw and PPV's, but did I miss a segment?
Ah, fuck it, I don't care.
How to kill the last bit of interest left in WWE? Do Orton vs. Cena.
Orton vs. Cena. In 2013.
Why are Triple H and Stephanie playing antagonist to Orton? Triple H pedigree's Bryan, declares Orton the face of the company and what's best for business, but afterwards they keep going against him and telling him off... I skip around alot during Raw and PPV's, but did I miss a segment?
Ah, fuck it, I don't care.
How to kill the last bit of interest left in WWE? Do Orton vs. Cena.
Orton vs. Cena. In 2013.
toddhunter
Member
legitshook.com
WCW Monday Nitro 11/15/99
Norman Smiley vs Jimmy Hart Hardcore Match
Norman is in football pads. Jimmy Hart comes out in a mother fucking suit of armor. I wonder if he borrowed that from The Genius, or if Genius was the one to originally borrow it from him. This is ludicrous. "He looks like the world's toughest nickel." Lol, what? Jimmy Hart tried to do the Big Wiggle, but the armor really hampered him. Knobs came out and hit Norman with a chair, but the shoulder pads saved him. Too bad he turned around and got cracked in the head. Norman kicks out! Jimmy tries to splash Norman through a table off the apron. Norman moves. Norman wins! Knobs beat the shit out of him after the match.
We're shown the brackets for tonight. We are to the elite 8. Bret Hart vs Kidman, Sting vs Lex, Scott Hall vs Chris Benoit, and Jeff Jarrett vs Buff Bagwell are the tournament matches we have tonight. Also tonight is Goldberg vs Hennig and a House of Pain cage match.
TO THE BACK. Tenay talks with Hennig. If Perfect can beat Goldberg, he will get a new contract. Elsewhere, Kim asks Terry Taylor for someone. Elsewhere elsewhere, The Outsiders arrive, with Nash dressed up as Sid this week.
EARLIER TODAY. Tenay talked with Spice. AC Jazz no showed and was kicked out of the group. Tygress then attacked Spice and we had a pull apart cat fight.
The Outsiders come to the ring. Nash does a Sid impression. HE IS THE RULER OF THE WORLD! Basically, Sid might be mentally challenged. BUT HE IS THE RULER OF THE WORLD! Sid comes out. All this shit stops tonight. "But you know and I know that you are only half the man that I am. And I have half the brains that you do." And even without saying that, he proved it by stumbling over his entire promo and repeating himself. He challenged Nash to a match tonight. "I'm begging you, Kevin, for once in your life be a man, not a clown!" This was one of the worst live promos I've ever seen that wasn't by a rookie or on an indie show. Hilarious.
TO THE BACK. Tenay talks with Booker, who has a match with Creative Control, also known as Gerald and Patrick. GET IT? When midnight strikes, Creative Control is fucking boned. Elsewhere, Kim comes to TPTB's office. One of the bros hits on her.
TO THE POWERS THAT BE. Kim thinks it is bullshit that she's being made to wrestle. Dr. Claw Russo says that she's under contract and if she doesn't want to dance, she has to wrestle. She'll get a tune up match tonight against Asya. Asya is now a seasoned veteran. Also, there will be a special referee. Kevin Nash then walked in and sat down.
Booker T. vs Creative Control
Booker took forever to come out because Chavo was trying to sell him shit. We get word that Nash's retirement has been lifted and he will face Sid tonight. Tony says it was a lame angle anyway. Fuck the Harris Brothers. God damn it I hate them. The lights went out and Midnight arrived, causing a DQ.
TO THE BACK. The First Family all argue. Flynn might have left the group. Elsewhere, Goldberg decides to show up fashionably late.
TO THE POWERS THAT BE. Dr. Claw Russo shits all over the Blu Brothers and DOA (another gimmick he was responsible for that he's now burying) and threatens to call Dutch Mantel of the Harris Brothers don't get their shit together. He wants Torrie and the luchadors.
Johnny Boon vs Evan Karagias
That's right, a ref vs wrestler match. Evan has a title match this Sunday, but he's having a competitive fight with a ref on the go home Nitro. Madusa is on color trying to be sexy. She isn't. This is ridiculous. This is the only ref who doesn't die when getting brushed against because he and Evan have been punching the shit out of each other for a few minutes. Madusa gets in the ring and pulls Johnny's shirt over his head and then shoving him down. Evan wins. Again, Evan has a title shot in 6 days and had to have outside interference to beat a ref.
TO THE POWERS THAT BE. The luchadors are in the office. Dr. Claw Russo calls El Dandy Lou Ferrigno Jr. and says that mid carders don't make much money. But tonight, they have a chance to make $10K in a pinata on a pole match!
TO THE BACK. Steve Williams and Jim Ross arrive. Elsewhere, Creative Control are looking for Torrie.
Juventud Guerrera vs Silver King vs El Dandy vs Psychosis vs Villano V Pinata On A Pole Match
Each man has a stick. Whoever breaks the pinata first will get $10K. Of course, the pinata falls with in the first 20 seconds. JR and Dr. Death come out. JR says Tony has always been B Team. We get to hear a lot about football. SLUG FEST SLUG FEST SLUG FEST! HE'S GOT THE STICK HE'S GOT THE STICK HE'S GOT THE STICK! PINATA PINATA PINATA! Who is that? Is that Juvi? This actually kind of started out funny, and the impression is accurate in many ways, but I find it a lot more offensive now than I did back then. It wouldn't be that bad if he wasn't doing the face thing with it. Juvi is the only name Oklahoma knows, so he screams it over and over. Juvi holds the pinata up and shakes it, revealing CANDY CANDY CANDY. Dr. Death then comes in the ring and murders all the luchadors. I believe Silver King technically won since he had the check. Dr. Death then stole it. I don't know if it was a DQ or not.
TO THE BACK. Tenay talks to Goldberg about possibly retiring Curt Hennig. Goldberg doesn't give a shit about any of this nonsense going on. Elsewhere, Tenay talked to Kevin Nash. Nash got real serious and took offense to Tony saying his retirement angle was bogus. As far as he was concerned, WCW sucked and he took time off until things got fun again. Now that Hall is back, it is fun for him.
Goldberg vs Curt Hennig
The match starts in the back as Hennig tried to slam a door on Goldberg to prevent him from even coming to the ring. It didn't work. They brawl all through the back and finally make it to the ring area. Perfect totally had Goldberg pinned for like a minute straight with a submission hold. Goldberg's shoulders were flat on the mat and the ref was right there and didn't even bother to count or even tell him to move his shoulders a little. Hennig immediately taps to a knee bar, but since he wasn't pinned, he still has a job. He decked the ref and got speared. Goldberg was limping after the spear.
TO THE BACK. Kim is on the phone, probably with DDP. The lights start flashing and she freaks out. Instead of David, it was Janitor Jim Duggan who says the fuses are always going out around there. Does that mean Jim thinks that every building they run is the same building? Elsewhere, Creative Control find the Filthy Animals and ask for Torrie. Elsewhere elsewhere, Chavo sells Duggan some fuses.
Vampiro/The Misfits vs The Wall/Berlyn
All of the Misfits are pretty jacked for rock stars. Lol, Tony calls Berlyn, Alex. God damn they've killed his gimmick hard. The first move is a belly to belly that Vamp probably got a concussion on. Wall chokeslammed Only and one of the other dudes. Crushed that guy. Berlyn and Wall do a suplex missile dropkick combo. Wall made the cover, but Alex pulled him off and got pissed. Wall would do the same thing when Alex made a pin. Wall chokeslammed Vamp and pinned him. Berlyn then whipped Vamp repeatedly with a chain. Vamp definitely got fucked up in this match. He took 2 or 3 really high angled bumps on his head and shoulders.
TO THE BACK. Creative Control walk Torrie to TPTB's office. Elsewhere, Goldberg is still pumped up.
TO THE POWERS THAT BE. Dr. Claw Russo tells Torrie that ITS ALL ABOUT DA RATINGS and gives her a bikini to put on.
Rick Steiner vs Sid WCW TV Championship
Allegedly this is a title match. Steiner didn't come out with it. These fans are great because they're clearly doing whatever they can to keep themselves entertained. They brawl into the crowd. They then fight up to the stage. Sid powerbombs Rick through a part of the stage and walks off. I'm not even sure if this match actually started or not. After the break, Rick was being attended to by EMTs. We follow it all the way to the back where he is loaded into an ambulance feet first. They almost drop him, which is one of the reasons why you don't load people in feet first so if you do drop them, they don't slam down on their heads. Also so their head isn't right in the way in the event of a rear end collision.
TO THE BACK. Tenay chides Sid for possibly ending Rick's career. He doesn't even acknowledge it and instead is intent on killing Nash. Elsewhere, Nash tapes up for his fight. Elsewhere elsewhere, Jerry Flynn and Barbarian head into the boiler room. They fight. It's not a match, but they are in wrestling gear and there are multiple cameras. Flynn eventually knocks Barb out. Elsewhere elsewhere elsewhere, Asya heads to the ring. Elsewhere elsewhere elsewhere elsewhere, Tenay talks to Benoit about this match with Hall.
Asya vs Kim Special Guest Referee: Torrie
Torrie and Asya have one of the worst cat fights I've ever seen. Kidman and Eddie cover Torrie up and take her to the back. David Flair came out with a ref shirt on. Kim bailed. Asya gave him a side walk slam and elbow to the dick. He recovered and gave her a suplex. Shane came in and got hit with a crowbar. David bails.
TO THE BACK. Someone delivers flowers to Sting. They're from Lex. Lex DOES want to fuck him. I knew it. Elsewhere, Lex and Liz (Lix? Lez?) are nervous about Sting turning down the flowers. They show this by repeating the same dialog verbatim as last week in a similar segment. Elsewhere elsewhere, Goldberg replenishes his electrolytes. Elsewhere elsewhere elsewhere, Kim is still running from David.
Chris Benoit vs Scott Hall
Bret came out with Benoit. Hall spends a longer time stalling than any match has lasted so far. They have a real match, but even after a nap, I'm still mentally exhausted from this show. Nash got involved. Ref didn't care. While Benoit, Nash, and Bret were fighting on the floor, Sid ran out and powerbombed Hall. Benoit went back in to pin, but Nash broke it. Hall pulled something out of his tights. He was locked in the Iron Crossface before he could use it. Benoit advances to the final four.
TO THE BACK. Goldberg calmly drinks coffee. Elsewhere, Tenay talks with Buff about TPTB. Buff said that Jeff isn't going over him. Who cares what you said? I ignore you most of the time. Lol, Brain.
Kidman vs Bret Hart
I'd like for this to be Bret vs 123 Kid 2.0, but it's Nitro. A Russo Nitro. Kidman blocks the Sharpshooter. He did not block the slingshot that sent him flying over the top. Kidman made a come back. The Outsiders came out and hit on Torrie. Eddie and Konnan fought with them. Bret countered a rana with the Sharpshooter and advances to the final four. During the break, Kidman was powerbobmed, Rey was injured (he's already injured) and Eddie and Konnan were laid out.
TO THE BACK. Lex and Liz are in the kitchen. They ask for brownies. Someone gives them a big plate of brownies that just happened around. Elsewhere, Tenay talked to Jeff Jarrett about his tournament match. Jeff is going to the finals. Deal with it. Slapnuts.
Buff Bagwell vs Jeff Jarrett
Jeff has new music, which sounds like instrumental ICP, so it still is quite inappropriate for him. Shortly after the match starts, Creative Control came out. The ref decides to tie his shoe as they slide a guitar into the ring. Buff hit one of them with it. Jeff still won with the Stroke. Dustin Rhodes made a save after the match.
TO THE BACK. Nash paces for his match. Elsewhere., Goldberg headbutts a SURGE machine to get a drink because he had no change on him. Elsewhere elsewhere, Liz and Lex are putting Exlax in some brownies.
EARLIER TODAY. Tenay talked with the Revolution about the House of Pain cage match with the Filthy Animals. It's stupid. Saturn really likes House of Pain and Everlast.
TO THE BACK. Janitor Jim intercepts the brownie delivery and eats them himself.
Filthy Animals vs Revolution House of Pain Cage Match
HOP is a match where you win by handcuffing your opponent's hands and feet to the cage. Tony randomly rants about marks on the internet who think they know how to call a match. Naturally, they have Eddie chained up with in the first 2 minutes, leaving Konnan to work the match. Konnan is cuffed and this cage match ends in like 5 minutes. I'm quite sure that no legs were cuffed to the cage, so the match shouldn't have ended at all. Rey came out and was strung up by his injured leg from the top of the cage. Security stopped the beat down.
Sting vs The Total Package
Sting totally dominates Lex until there is a ref bump and Liz pepper sprayed him. Meng came out and put Lex in the Tongan Deathgrip. Liz tries to spray Meng and couldn't figure out how. Sting is placed on Lex and advances to the final four.
TO THE BACK. Jim Duggan is shitting his brains out. He did it in TPTB's bathroom and left it, calling Russo a jackoff as he walked away. Elsewhere, Sid headed to the ring.
During the break, Goldberg left his locker room.
Kevin Nash vs Sid Street Fight
I don't get what's going on with Sid. He's basically been booked as a face for two weeks and his match with Goldberg wasn't even mentioned on Thunder or tonight. It's like they just dropped it half way through the feud so Sid could instead feud with Rick Steiner and the Outsiders. Match starts in the aisle and quickly heads into the crowd. They have exactly the boring big man brawl that you'd expect. Hall came out to stop Sid from hitting the powerbomb. Goldberg came out and double speared the Outsiders, causing a DQ in an anything goes street fight. Sid and Goldberg fight, with Sid hitting a low blow. Bret prevented Sid from using a giant padded chair. WE'RE OUTTA TIME!
DQ Count: I honestly don't know.
Russo has been in charge for a month and we've already had 2 pole matches and 2 cage matches on TV without any hype. In addition, we have had a 32 man tournament where all but 3 finishes have been via DQ, count out, or interference. We've had guys openly saying they weren't going to do any more jobs, guys saying everything is a work, announcers talking about angles being lame, intentional production errors seeing people breaking character, guys burying their current and past gimmicks, Russo himself burying WWF characters he was responsible for, and wrestlers saying WCW sucks and their career is in the shitter for having to work there. Speaking of shit, we had our first backstage shit promo, completely with farts. The WWF is mentioned every week. One show had Nash pretend to be Vince the whole show just so he and Hall could tell the WWF to suck it. Suddenly, all the women are now wrestling, even though none of them are trained wrestlers. Ratings (especially top of the hour) are mentioned multiple times a week.
This shit is madness.
WCW Monday Nitro 11/15/99
Norman Smiley vs Jimmy Hart Hardcore Match
Norman is in football pads. Jimmy Hart comes out in a mother fucking suit of armor. I wonder if he borrowed that from The Genius, or if Genius was the one to originally borrow it from him. This is ludicrous. "He looks like the world's toughest nickel." Lol, what? Jimmy Hart tried to do the Big Wiggle, but the armor really hampered him. Knobs came out and hit Norman with a chair, but the shoulder pads saved him. Too bad he turned around and got cracked in the head. Norman kicks out! Jimmy tries to splash Norman through a table off the apron. Norman moves. Norman wins! Knobs beat the shit out of him after the match.
We're shown the brackets for tonight. We are to the elite 8. Bret Hart vs Kidman, Sting vs Lex, Scott Hall vs Chris Benoit, and Jeff Jarrett vs Buff Bagwell are the tournament matches we have tonight. Also tonight is Goldberg vs Hennig and a House of Pain cage match.
TO THE BACK. Tenay talks with Hennig. If Perfect can beat Goldberg, he will get a new contract. Elsewhere, Kim asks Terry Taylor for someone. Elsewhere elsewhere, The Outsiders arrive, with Nash dressed up as Sid this week.
EARLIER TODAY. Tenay talked with Spice. AC Jazz no showed and was kicked out of the group. Tygress then attacked Spice and we had a pull apart cat fight.
The Outsiders come to the ring. Nash does a Sid impression. HE IS THE RULER OF THE WORLD! Basically, Sid might be mentally challenged. BUT HE IS THE RULER OF THE WORLD! Sid comes out. All this shit stops tonight. "But you know and I know that you are only half the man that I am. And I have half the brains that you do." And even without saying that, he proved it by stumbling over his entire promo and repeating himself. He challenged Nash to a match tonight. "I'm begging you, Kevin, for once in your life be a man, not a clown!" This was one of the worst live promos I've ever seen that wasn't by a rookie or on an indie show. Hilarious.
TO THE BACK. Tenay talks with Booker, who has a match with Creative Control, also known as Gerald and Patrick. GET IT? When midnight strikes, Creative Control is fucking boned. Elsewhere, Kim comes to TPTB's office. One of the bros hits on her.
TO THE POWERS THAT BE. Kim thinks it is bullshit that she's being made to wrestle. Dr. Claw Russo says that she's under contract and if she doesn't want to dance, she has to wrestle. She'll get a tune up match tonight against Asya. Asya is now a seasoned veteran. Also, there will be a special referee. Kevin Nash then walked in and sat down.
Booker T. vs Creative Control
Booker took forever to come out because Chavo was trying to sell him shit. We get word that Nash's retirement has been lifted and he will face Sid tonight. Tony says it was a lame angle anyway. Fuck the Harris Brothers. God damn it I hate them. The lights went out and Midnight arrived, causing a DQ.
TO THE BACK. The First Family all argue. Flynn might have left the group. Elsewhere, Goldberg decides to show up fashionably late.
TO THE POWERS THAT BE. Dr. Claw Russo shits all over the Blu Brothers and DOA (another gimmick he was responsible for that he's now burying) and threatens to call Dutch Mantel of the Harris Brothers don't get their shit together. He wants Torrie and the luchadors.
Johnny Boon vs Evan Karagias
That's right, a ref vs wrestler match. Evan has a title match this Sunday, but he's having a competitive fight with a ref on the go home Nitro. Madusa is on color trying to be sexy. She isn't. This is ridiculous. This is the only ref who doesn't die when getting brushed against because he and Evan have been punching the shit out of each other for a few minutes. Madusa gets in the ring and pulls Johnny's shirt over his head and then shoving him down. Evan wins. Again, Evan has a title shot in 6 days and had to have outside interference to beat a ref.
TO THE POWERS THAT BE. The luchadors are in the office. Dr. Claw Russo calls El Dandy Lou Ferrigno Jr. and says that mid carders don't make much money. But tonight, they have a chance to make $10K in a pinata on a pole match!
TO THE BACK. Steve Williams and Jim Ross arrive. Elsewhere, Creative Control are looking for Torrie.
Juventud Guerrera vs Silver King vs El Dandy vs Psychosis vs Villano V Pinata On A Pole Match
Each man has a stick. Whoever breaks the pinata first will get $10K. Of course, the pinata falls with in the first 20 seconds. JR and Dr. Death come out. JR says Tony has always been B Team. We get to hear a lot about football. SLUG FEST SLUG FEST SLUG FEST! HE'S GOT THE STICK HE'S GOT THE STICK HE'S GOT THE STICK! PINATA PINATA PINATA! Who is that? Is that Juvi? This actually kind of started out funny, and the impression is accurate in many ways, but I find it a lot more offensive now than I did back then. It wouldn't be that bad if he wasn't doing the face thing with it. Juvi is the only name Oklahoma knows, so he screams it over and over. Juvi holds the pinata up and shakes it, revealing CANDY CANDY CANDY. Dr. Death then comes in the ring and murders all the luchadors. I believe Silver King technically won since he had the check. Dr. Death then stole it. I don't know if it was a DQ or not.
TO THE BACK. Tenay talks to Goldberg about possibly retiring Curt Hennig. Goldberg doesn't give a shit about any of this nonsense going on. Elsewhere, Tenay talked to Kevin Nash. Nash got real serious and took offense to Tony saying his retirement angle was bogus. As far as he was concerned, WCW sucked and he took time off until things got fun again. Now that Hall is back, it is fun for him.
Goldberg vs Curt Hennig
The match starts in the back as Hennig tried to slam a door on Goldberg to prevent him from even coming to the ring. It didn't work. They brawl all through the back and finally make it to the ring area. Perfect totally had Goldberg pinned for like a minute straight with a submission hold. Goldberg's shoulders were flat on the mat and the ref was right there and didn't even bother to count or even tell him to move his shoulders a little. Hennig immediately taps to a knee bar, but since he wasn't pinned, he still has a job. He decked the ref and got speared. Goldberg was limping after the spear.
TO THE BACK. Kim is on the phone, probably with DDP. The lights start flashing and she freaks out. Instead of David, it was Janitor Jim Duggan who says the fuses are always going out around there. Does that mean Jim thinks that every building they run is the same building? Elsewhere, Creative Control find the Filthy Animals and ask for Torrie. Elsewhere elsewhere, Chavo sells Duggan some fuses.
Vampiro/The Misfits vs The Wall/Berlyn
All of the Misfits are pretty jacked for rock stars. Lol, Tony calls Berlyn, Alex. God damn they've killed his gimmick hard. The first move is a belly to belly that Vamp probably got a concussion on. Wall chokeslammed Only and one of the other dudes. Crushed that guy. Berlyn and Wall do a suplex missile dropkick combo. Wall made the cover, but Alex pulled him off and got pissed. Wall would do the same thing when Alex made a pin. Wall chokeslammed Vamp and pinned him. Berlyn then whipped Vamp repeatedly with a chain. Vamp definitely got fucked up in this match. He took 2 or 3 really high angled bumps on his head and shoulders.
TO THE BACK. Creative Control walk Torrie to TPTB's office. Elsewhere, Goldberg is still pumped up.
TO THE POWERS THAT BE. Dr. Claw Russo tells Torrie that ITS ALL ABOUT DA RATINGS and gives her a bikini to put on.
Rick Steiner vs Sid WCW TV Championship
Allegedly this is a title match. Steiner didn't come out with it. These fans are great because they're clearly doing whatever they can to keep themselves entertained. They brawl into the crowd. They then fight up to the stage. Sid powerbombs Rick through a part of the stage and walks off. I'm not even sure if this match actually started or not. After the break, Rick was being attended to by EMTs. We follow it all the way to the back where he is loaded into an ambulance feet first. They almost drop him, which is one of the reasons why you don't load people in feet first so if you do drop them, they don't slam down on their heads. Also so their head isn't right in the way in the event of a rear end collision.
TO THE BACK. Tenay chides Sid for possibly ending Rick's career. He doesn't even acknowledge it and instead is intent on killing Nash. Elsewhere, Nash tapes up for his fight. Elsewhere elsewhere, Jerry Flynn and Barbarian head into the boiler room. They fight. It's not a match, but they are in wrestling gear and there are multiple cameras. Flynn eventually knocks Barb out. Elsewhere elsewhere elsewhere, Asya heads to the ring. Elsewhere elsewhere elsewhere elsewhere, Tenay talks to Benoit about this match with Hall.
Asya vs Kim Special Guest Referee: Torrie
Torrie and Asya have one of the worst cat fights I've ever seen. Kidman and Eddie cover Torrie up and take her to the back. David Flair came out with a ref shirt on. Kim bailed. Asya gave him a side walk slam and elbow to the dick. He recovered and gave her a suplex. Shane came in and got hit with a crowbar. David bails.
TO THE BACK. Someone delivers flowers to Sting. They're from Lex. Lex DOES want to fuck him. I knew it. Elsewhere, Lex and Liz (Lix? Lez?) are nervous about Sting turning down the flowers. They show this by repeating the same dialog verbatim as last week in a similar segment. Elsewhere elsewhere, Goldberg replenishes his electrolytes. Elsewhere elsewhere elsewhere, Kim is still running from David.
Chris Benoit vs Scott Hall
Bret came out with Benoit. Hall spends a longer time stalling than any match has lasted so far. They have a real match, but even after a nap, I'm still mentally exhausted from this show. Nash got involved. Ref didn't care. While Benoit, Nash, and Bret were fighting on the floor, Sid ran out and powerbombed Hall. Benoit went back in to pin, but Nash broke it. Hall pulled something out of his tights. He was locked in the Iron Crossface before he could use it. Benoit advances to the final four.
TO THE BACK. Goldberg calmly drinks coffee. Elsewhere, Tenay talks with Buff about TPTB. Buff said that Jeff isn't going over him. Who cares what you said? I ignore you most of the time. Lol, Brain.
Kidman vs Bret Hart
I'd like for this to be Bret vs 123 Kid 2.0, but it's Nitro. A Russo Nitro. Kidman blocks the Sharpshooter. He did not block the slingshot that sent him flying over the top. Kidman made a come back. The Outsiders came out and hit on Torrie. Eddie and Konnan fought with them. Bret countered a rana with the Sharpshooter and advances to the final four. During the break, Kidman was powerbobmed, Rey was injured (he's already injured) and Eddie and Konnan were laid out.
TO THE BACK. Lex and Liz are in the kitchen. They ask for brownies. Someone gives them a big plate of brownies that just happened around. Elsewhere, Tenay talked to Jeff Jarrett about his tournament match. Jeff is going to the finals. Deal with it. Slapnuts.
Buff Bagwell vs Jeff Jarrett
Jeff has new music, which sounds like instrumental ICP, so it still is quite inappropriate for him. Shortly after the match starts, Creative Control came out. The ref decides to tie his shoe as they slide a guitar into the ring. Buff hit one of them with it. Jeff still won with the Stroke. Dustin Rhodes made a save after the match.
TO THE BACK. Nash paces for his match. Elsewhere., Goldberg headbutts a SURGE machine to get a drink because he had no change on him. Elsewhere elsewhere, Liz and Lex are putting Exlax in some brownies.
EARLIER TODAY. Tenay talked with the Revolution about the House of Pain cage match with the Filthy Animals. It's stupid. Saturn really likes House of Pain and Everlast.
TO THE BACK. Janitor Jim intercepts the brownie delivery and eats them himself.
Filthy Animals vs Revolution House of Pain Cage Match
HOP is a match where you win by handcuffing your opponent's hands and feet to the cage. Tony randomly rants about marks on the internet who think they know how to call a match. Naturally, they have Eddie chained up with in the first 2 minutes, leaving Konnan to work the match. Konnan is cuffed and this cage match ends in like 5 minutes. I'm quite sure that no legs were cuffed to the cage, so the match shouldn't have ended at all. Rey came out and was strung up by his injured leg from the top of the cage. Security stopped the beat down.
Sting vs The Total Package
Sting totally dominates Lex until there is a ref bump and Liz pepper sprayed him. Meng came out and put Lex in the Tongan Deathgrip. Liz tries to spray Meng and couldn't figure out how. Sting is placed on Lex and advances to the final four.
TO THE BACK. Jim Duggan is shitting his brains out. He did it in TPTB's bathroom and left it, calling Russo a jackoff as he walked away. Elsewhere, Sid headed to the ring.
During the break, Goldberg left his locker room.
Kevin Nash vs Sid Street Fight
I don't get what's going on with Sid. He's basically been booked as a face for two weeks and his match with Goldberg wasn't even mentioned on Thunder or tonight. It's like they just dropped it half way through the feud so Sid could instead feud with Rick Steiner and the Outsiders. Match starts in the aisle and quickly heads into the crowd. They have exactly the boring big man brawl that you'd expect. Hall came out to stop Sid from hitting the powerbomb. Goldberg came out and double speared the Outsiders, causing a DQ in an anything goes street fight. Sid and Goldberg fight, with Sid hitting a low blow. Bret prevented Sid from using a giant padded chair. WE'RE OUTTA TIME!
DQ Count: I honestly don't know.
Russo has been in charge for a month and we've already had 2 pole matches and 2 cage matches on TV without any hype. In addition, we have had a 32 man tournament where all but 3 finishes have been via DQ, count out, or interference. We've had guys openly saying they weren't going to do any more jobs, guys saying everything is a work, announcers talking about angles being lame, intentional production errors seeing people breaking character, guys burying their current and past gimmicks, Russo himself burying WWF characters he was responsible for, and wrestlers saying WCW sucks and their career is in the shitter for having to work there. Speaking of shit, we had our first backstage shit promo, completely with farts. The WWF is mentioned every week. One show had Nash pretend to be Vince the whole show just so he and Hall could tell the WWF to suck it. Suddenly, all the women are now wrestling, even though none of them are trained wrestlers. Ratings (especially top of the hour) are mentioned multiple times a week.
This shit is madness.
Nocturnowl
Member
Every time Cena and Orton is teased my mind goes back to 2011 with this and the thrilling conclusion later on. CAN YOU FEEL THE EXCITEMENT IN THE AIR?! clearly the Rock/Austin of these times.
Because WWE is capable of disappointing in every avenue what's the point of Corporate Kane? I was kind of expecting him to do stuff but nope, nothing.
Because WWE is capable of disappointing in every avenue what's the point of Corporate Kane? I was kind of expecting him to do stuff but nope, nothing.
British Monsoon
Member
You're a bad man for booing rampage, his mrs had a kid this week and he's generally awesomegreat heel though
Love me some project ego and Manson YIP
Haha, it's hard not to boo Rampage, he's so good at being an arsehole. Although, out of all the 'Screw Indy Wrestling' guys, I definitely like Rampage the most. Haskins and Cruz are little turds.
Also, Kirby & Manson did a whole slo-mo section to their match yesterday, which was fucking hilarious. Plus, I love that Manson's wrestling boots are drawn on and I was creasing up at the random shit he was chatting throughout the match. Dude's awesome.
Been thinking about this for a few weeks.
I think this is just a way to retire Kane from in-ring action and move him to a backstage agent role.
British Monsoon
Member
Still laptop-less, *sigh*, thank god for youtube, though - just watched this match from the Champion Carnival 2008 and, suffice to say, Kensuke & Suzuki don't like each other very much;
Kesuke Sasaki vs Minoru Suzuki - (AJPW 04/08/08)
Once you break the habit of watching every week, it's easy as hell to ignore. WrassleGAF helps in this regard. It's nice to wake up the morning after a RAW or a PPV and see your decision not to watch the show validated by all the negative opinions posted here.
Kesuke Sasaki vs Minoru Suzuki - (AJPW 04/08/08)
Once you break the habit of watching every week, it's easy as hell to ignore. WrassleGAF helps in this regard. It's nice to wake up the morning after a RAW or a PPV and see your decision not to watch the show validated by all the negative opinions posted here.
Serpentine
Banned
Weak ass PPV, but it was better than the last 2-3, but only barely. 5v5 was good, Punk/Bryan vs Wyatts was good, IC defense was decent, Ryback/Henry wasn't complete shit. The rest was boring garbage, basically.
there are some major differences between Ryder and Bryan, though, i.e. wrestling ability
You'd joke when the talk of when the WWE would finally unify the WWE title and the WHC, that they would do so with two of the most overused guys in the past decade. Two of whom feuded for at least two years non stop and were atop of the RAW program and had little if anyone else. Nobody cared at the Rumble when they teased it a few years ago, and I doubt people do now.
It does stink they continue to push Orton in this spot. We get it, he is buddies with Hunter and is fairly young at 33 despite being a vet, but it feels like they don't care to properly push any other heels anymore (concerning the WWE title).
And yeah, follow them on Youtube and watch clips that way. It's what I do and saves me over 2 hours and 50 minutes from watching it live.
It does stink they continue to push Orton in this spot. We get it, he is buddies with Hunter and is fairly young at 33 despite being a vet, but it feels like they don't care to properly push any other heels anymore (concerning the WWE title).
And yeah, follow them on Youtube and watch clips that way. It's what I do and saves me over 2 hours and 50 minutes from watching it live.
Pretty much yeah, I skip around and hit the few people I like, watch that and skip everything else.
Then I listen to the podcast people raging about it.
Serpentine
Banned
The only time i've enjoyed Orton in the past forever was when he busted out that Rick Rude-lite promo
but otherwise he's a total bore despite being a capable wrestler.
Like Curtis Axel.
from outta nowhere
Like Curtis Axel.
Snowman Prophet of Doom
Member
I think it was Dragonzord who said that Orton's problem is that he rarely ever LOSES himself in his heel-ness. He spends so much time trying to look cool, trying to look mean, trying to look badass that the acting become obvious, even in wrestling terms.
I'm honestly kind of glad Cena and Orton can occupy one slot on the shows together for a while, instead of having to see them separately. Let's just hope the unification match is at the Rumble, so neither of them are actually in the Rumble itself and we can get someone interesting to win it.
So what the fuck happened? WWE was getting pretty good right up until Summerslam, then it was promising when it looked like Daniel Bryan was getting a "rage against the man" type of push, then it just fell HARD off a goddamn cliff. Did something change backstage? Were there politics or shenanigans involved? I get that these fall PPVs don't really seem to matter to them, but then why waste Daniel Bryan's popularity on them when they must have KNOWN they were going to be mediocre in terms of buyrate? WWE's incompetence is just BAFFLING. I know fantasy booking is kinda silly, but seriously - it's NOT. THAT. HARD. Good wrestling + REAL promos (a.k.a. stuff said backstage, to a camera) + soap opera storylines = ratings, money, and interest. WWE's wrestling is in a pretty good place, but it's like they just said "fuck it" to having any kind of coherent, interesting story. Who's at fault? Vince? Hunner? Stephanie? If it's Hunner, then what the fuck? Dude may have an ego, but he's also a wrestling fan, and even the biggest ego in the world couldn't blind him to how shoddy the product is right now.
I'm honestly kind of glad Cena and Orton can occupy one slot on the shows together for a while, instead of having to see them separately. Let's just hope the unification match is at the Rumble, so neither of them are actually in the Rumble itself and we can get someone interesting to win it.
So what the fuck happened? WWE was getting pretty good right up until Summerslam, then it was promising when it looked like Daniel Bryan was getting a "rage against the man" type of push, then it just fell HARD off a goddamn cliff. Did something change backstage? Were there politics or shenanigans involved? I get that these fall PPVs don't really seem to matter to them, but then why waste Daniel Bryan's popularity on them when they must have KNOWN they were going to be mediocre in terms of buyrate? WWE's incompetence is just BAFFLING. I know fantasy booking is kinda silly, but seriously - it's NOT. THAT. HARD. Good wrestling + REAL promos (a.k.a. stuff said backstage, to a camera) + soap opera storylines = ratings, money, and interest. WWE's wrestling is in a pretty good place, but it's like they just said "fuck it" to having any kind of coherent, interesting story. Who's at fault? Vince? Hunner? Stephanie? If it's Hunner, then what the fuck? Dude may have an ego, but he's also a wrestling fan, and even the biggest ego in the world couldn't blind him to how shoddy the product is right now.
Serpentine
Banned
For sure. He also still does the babyface crowd-hyping moves while basically getting the crowd to cheer for him.
It's pretty clear what happened. It's the classic story of a company getting cold feet when pushing a new star because things didn't take off as fast as they had hoped, so they go redouble their efforts with the established guys thinking that must be what the fans really wanted to see in the first place. It happens all the time in wrestling.
Lead Writer David Kreizman left and they either never replaced him or replaced him with the shittiest Lead Writer ever.
slightconfuse
Banned
British Monsoon
Member
H's was the turning point in this year going sour - at the start of the year he was just a waste of an opponent for Brock, but since he's become more heavily involved things have gotten worse. Similarly, the turning point of 2011 going sour was H's sticking his nose into things and fucking up the Summer of Punk. The show revolves far too much around authority figures and, while it's a proven archetype in wrestling, it needs the right people for the job and for them to be utilised properly. That hasn't happened. Orton, Big Show, Bryan, all characters mismanaged over the past few months at great detriment to the product. That's why they have to reset and go with Cena vs Orton, because they've royally screwed things up. Of course, I doubt Mr. H's or Mrs. H's and her 'creative' department see this as any fault of their own.
I watched the Total Divas recap on WWE.com. I've yet to see an episode, but it looks amazing. They worked a shoot fake angle on a shoot recap show of a fake shoot reality show based on the inner workings of a fake show that pretends to be shoot. Tiny Fey can stick it, brother.
British Monsoon
Member
Suzuki-gun, ichiban!
