• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

October Wrasslin' |OT| I'm seein' double here...

Something to keep in mind about that "2K18 royalties" rumor is that it came from Voices of Wrestling, who have a track record that is.... less than perfect.
 
November SD house show lineups have been updated, presumably to fit the next set of storylines. Could change though of course.

Main events are
AJ vs. Jinder
and
Nakamura vs. Owens
 

Bronx-Man

Banned
He is the Biggest Draw in Wrestling

Look forward to The Guy vs. The Draw in a couple of years
tumblr_mzqa4qcJiR1rnjfjfo1_r1_400.gif
 
Not really kept up on much wrestling at the moment but just saw a picture of Zak Knight (one half of the UK Hooligans - Paige's brother) and he looks awful

Seems he injured his back and had a full nervous breakdown, hope he recovers soon :(

I saw Bubblegum is badly hurt as well, hard for these guys who can now make a living just about in Uk indies but when injury strikes they have no way of making money
 
After being rolled up by man-flu last week I'm back to deliver the Kanetober treats, there are no tricks here, only tasty sugary sweet goodness.

mRD3Osh.png


Part 1
Part 2


9. Big Red Love Machine


Someone at WWE must love the beauty and the beast scenario because the amount of romantic plotlines Kane has delved in during his career is possibly the highest of any wrestler, it's almost a shame we never got the glorious merging of the "kane does a tag team" and "kane has a messed up relationship" tropes with him and Val Venis becoming a team or something.

But anyway, Kane has been booked alongside women wrasslers whose roles have run the gamutof valets, hall of fame wrestlers, general managers and so on, variety is the spice of life indeed.

Kane's first love was Tori, a tale that would teach us love is about what's on the inside, and I'm not talking about Kane and his burnt face here, I'm actually talking about how she heel turns for that mess that is X-Pac of all people, crumbs Tori, what a downgrade! The devesating episode of Smackdown revealing the X-Pac and Tori Christmas story is a true heartbreaker as Kane gives the heartshattering performance of a life time despite a full face mask, writhing violently from his ring corner imprisonment and solemnly stumbling off alone into the winter cold (I totally need these giffed).
Since this was the Attitude Era, Kane would be able to actually get revenge to the cheers of the live audience, faking us out by halting his chokeslam attempt only to instead tombstone that damn Jezebel as JR would say.

As an aside did you know Tori was something of a yogi back before it was cool? she had this whole article in one of the few RAW magazines I owned where she was also in revealing pictures and a poster which is certainly not the reason I purchased that issue....
okay I may have had a thing for Tori back then, still upset she just sorta vanished.

Phwoar, look at that sexy beast...and his fanny pack.

Kane's 2002 face run would grab the attention of Terri who had transitioned into a backstage interviewer role, part of Kane's humanisation angle I guess. Alas this same time period featured that whole Katie Vick thing so I guess Trips buried Kane's chances here with an elaborate cockblocking scheme, Terri may like the odd ones like say Golddust but that's too much man.

Okay back to the real storylines and one that would defintely be problematic in our current time period, the Lita storyline, and boy this one is a doozy.
So Kane starts stalking Lita a fair bit during 2004, I guess fiery red head felt like a perfect fit, shame for Kane that Lita already has that goober Matt Hardy in the picture eh? I truly loving relationship that will certainly not go south. Nothing stops Kane though, seemingly not even the word no, Lita gets preggers but it turns out Matt ain't the dad, Kane is!
I'll give you all a moment to stew on the implications of this....

Kane would battle Matt Hardy at Summerslam in a "till death do us part" match, which is a fancy way of saying the winner gets to marry Lita because wrestling works in mysterious nonsensical ways. Since face Matt is a perennial loser, he loses.
Kane has a fancy raw wedding complete with a strings playing his entrance them and some snazzy white suits, so dapper is our man Kane.
The story continues the controversial stupidity as a jobber wrestler Gene Snitsky knocks Kane into Lita during a match and punches his ticket to stardom by being part of an accidental miscarriage, it wasn't his fault is a mantra so strong that it become's Snitsky's actual gimmick.

Somehow this storyline makes rapey Kane a face, well who the heck wants to root for Snitsky anyway? This leads into a strange time period where the Kane and Lita duo actually start getting on like a house on fire (heheheheh), tragedy truly brings them together.
It reaches a sad end in 2005 as Lita betrays Kane for Edge, a situation totally not referencing any real life events involving one Matt Hardy. Regardless of the morally reprehensible way Kane got into this relationship in the first place he's played up as the face in this scenario which is quite frankly bloody hilarious for all the wrong reasons. Kane gets to ruin Lita's second TV wedding and gets revenge on PPV at Vengeance.

There's an incredibly short lived Kelly Kelly angle, I think it may have also been set to involve Orton but WWE dropped this angle before Kreeper Kane could do his thing, and nothing of value was lost.

Lastly we have #AJAll, a set of events that should never have really worked yet somehow did.
Internet darlings CM Punk and Daniel Bryan are embroiled in a title feud, somewhere along the way they realise that this isn't WWE enough and both sorta still monster Kane of 2012 and the ever peppy AJ Lee are thrust into the story creating a love...square? or something, not quite a triangle. The story is more of a showcase for AJ than anything else who stepped up to define her "crazy chick" (WWE Marketing and CM Punk's words, not mine) personality shift as she plays with the emotions of all three men who find themselves enraptured by her adorable self, there may also be a WWE title involved but nevermind that, AJ is wearing a Kane mask, the strangest big red boners are happening right now.
Kane peaces out of the angle earlier than the rest claiming that even AJ is to cray-J for Kane, this angle also served to shift Kane back into comedy monster, something that would actually pay off dividends as we'll see in the next entry.

WQnLJ.gif


Bonus round: Kane has also creepily stalked and/or dragged to hell the likes of Brie Bella and Eve Torres, but that was mainly to get at others and thus not truly part of the Kane romance saga.


10. If you want to see the best Kane team give me a Hell No!

Briefly touched upon early in the tag summary was Kane's partnership with Daniel Bryan, which as you may guess from the title is my favourite of the Kane team ups. Sure Undertaker has the whole ass kicking supernatural bros thing going on but they're better enemies. The team with Bryan was a mutually beneficial run that highlighted both mens comedic character chops, something I'm sure no one was expecting.

Coming out of the feud with Punk WWE had Bryan left like a chump by AJ Lee sparking a much more angry version of the beardo, since AJ was also GM at this point she made him face Kane at Summerslam. Bryan's win led to Kane also lashing out backstage so AJ did what any good GM would do, send both men to anger management class to sort their shit out.

AND IT WAS WONDERFUL

The first class
(that brief summary of Kane's messed up career)

The next class

The restaurant

a series of skits involving Dr Shelby in and out of the class gave rise to a team reminscient of The Rock and Sock connection in how much of a wonderfull mess their team dynamic was, despite still having a competitive streak with each other both men bonded over their shared rage and trials in overcoming it. This would lead to becoming the tag team champs (and debating that "actually I am the tag team champions"), slowly hugging it out in the ring mid match to a crowd pop and basically playing up the awkward alliance angle. Bryan got himself further over and it gave older man Kane something to do on the main roster that didn't require as much ring work.
Team Hell No would reign for 245 days before dropping the belts to some dudes called the shield, whoever they are.

"but I have diagrams, DIAGRAMS!"

In a refreshing change of pace, when the team ended there wasn't a big betrayal or blow off feud, they just went their seperate ways in pursuit of the WWE title, because not every team needs to end with back and forth shoving and miscommunication for three months. Of course Bryan would feud with corporate Kane later on (his only title defence feud in fact, much to fans dismay).
During this run the duo were involved in some pretty dope six man tag matches with The Shield, check 'em out.

neQgK.gif


Also a reminder, the name team hell no was part of three options selected by fans to determine the team name, the others were team teamwork and team friendship, I totally voted friendship by the way.


11. Through hellfire and brimstone, making an entrance

200.gif


Entrances are low key one of the great hallmarks of endearing fans to characters, you remember a guy with a distinct entrance and theme, the Kane character had both down from the word go and mostly his entrance stuck with him until the present. That sinister organ, the explosive pyro, the mood lighting, the in ring motion timed with the turnbuckle pyro, top stuff.

Variations on his theme and small alterations to the entrance have occurred over time. Later themes dropped the Organ in the theme thus Kane's arrival was signalled by the sudden pyro blast, a small change in his in ring motion is that original mask Kane would flick his head up, unmasked Kane onwards would lower his head as if to hide his face, such character work!

Kane's theme has mostly maintained the same melody during his career. Its first variation popped up mid 2000 I think layering on more guitar wailing and thus adding a bit more energy to the original.
Kane's return in 2002 gave us the rather odd choice of a lyrical theme in "slow chemical" which takes the Kane theme as a base and spins off into its own "way better than it should be theme", it's oddly hype.
After some time they eventually switched things up and Kane's "man on fire" theme hit with a return to purely instrumental, notably it dropped the traditional melody associated with Kane's previous themes. It's not as fondly remembered as a result but for what it's worth it's like Kane in Castlevania, a Kanevania if you will.
Lastly upon returning to the mask they finally went back to where we started, with a modern take on the original theme, it includes a few more aural elements and diverges somewhat from the original a bit further in, a nice way to end the Kane soundtrack selection.

Or is it? because I'm not letting you forget this HOT BEAT from WWF Aggresion.


12. Kane's first title win, or how to book yourself into a corner


Our dubious entry in this set of Kanetober belongs to something that should've been celebrated. Monster Kane dethrones the massively over champ Stone Cold within his first year under the new gimmick. Strap yourself in for some Attitude era booking as we revisit the messy trip to Kane's first title win and title loss.
In 1998 the WWE's main event scene started to rely quite heavily on the combo of Austin, Taker, Mankind and Kane (Trips and Rock were just bubbling under at this point as the top of the IC division with their respective factions). It was the beginning of a shift, HBK was taken out by a seemingly career ending injury, Bret was obviously gone as result of the whole 97 Surivor Series kerfuffle and now Austin was THE GUY, as in actually THE GUY and not just a forced guy.

Austin had just come out of his feud with Mankind/Dude Love and Kane/Taker had finally cooled off, so the logical approach was to change partners. Thus Kane was set to challenge Austin at King of the Ring 98, after he finally one ups Taker due to a Mankind distraction that is.
For whatever reason some bright spark thought "what if we made the title match a first blood match even though Kane wears a mask lol", apparently someone (probably Vince) figured this was pure gold, following this someone sarcastically must've said "yeah and because the odds are so in Kane's favour how about he sets himself on fire if he loses", and Vince creamed his draws once again.

Thus Austin is booked into a match that he should lose in both match logic (a bald man in trunks who has bled before versus the masked man with one arm exposed never see to have bled) and story logic (so we're gonna televise a guys setting himself on fire huh?). On the night itself things get even dumber, firstly Kane is rocking a new one off attire where he's got no exposed arm, merely a single hand. Second, the Hell in a Cell from the prior Mankind/Taker match starts mysteriously lowering itself during the matchup further increasing Austin's risk of bloodshed.
Safe to say Vince's love for overcoming the odds booking was well and truly in play here, except they'd gone overboard, these odds just couldn't be logically overcome.
Thus Kane was booked to win, the finish involves Taker and Foley interference with Taker accidentally busting Austin open with a clash of chairs that goes nowhere near Austin's face, during this Kane is conked out in the middle of the ring. Thus Kane becomes WWE champ lying on his arse doing absolutely nothing....bloody hell.

1423439036178

(another Stro special)

Obviously Austin is a top draw, thus the very next night on Raw Kane defends the title and loses clean, all is back to normal in WWE land, except that Kane just got booked like a bit of a chump, something he'd unfortunately have to get used to whenever he sniffed the title scene.
(both matches are at least kinda fun though, so it's not all bad).
I guess it'd be a bigger gripe if the belt had prestige but well, that ship has long sailed.
 

Angry Grimace

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "does something taste funny to you?"
kFGLEr4.png


Happy 6 years. I worked the mods into a shoot in OT

I believe the actual target of that tweet was that Hogan buried Bobby Roode on some podcast and then AJ Styles (and others on the internet) accused him of burying talent and Hogan was trying to claim it was all a work.

Basically, AJ Styles is a jabronie mark without a life that don't know it a work.
 

Hex

Banned
It seems I have one shoot left over from September, it was buried in the back of the proverbial fridge.....

#FUCKKANE

Kane sucks.
So what he ripped a cage open.
He was always boring.
Brian could not help him, X Pac could not help him.
He is given a fantastic entrance and pyro gimmick and he blew it.
His suck runneth over the moment he opened his mouth.
So much early potential wasted.

 
It seems I have one shoot left over from September, it was buried in the back of the proverbial fridge.....

#FUCKKANE

Kane sucks.
So what he ripped a cage open.
He was always boring.
Brian could not help him, X Pac could not help him.
He is given a fantastic entrance and pyro gimmick and he blew it.
His suck runneth over the moment he opened his mouth.
So much early potential wasted.

tenor.gif
 

Angry Grimace

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "does something taste funny to you?"
So what are the chances I watch Raw over Astros/Yankees

KuGsj.gif
 

Hasney

Member
I believe the actual target of that tweet was that Hogan buried Bobby Roode on some podcast and then AJ Styles (and others on the internet) accused him of burying talent and Hogan was trying to claim it was all a work.

Basically, AJ Styles is a jabronie mark without a life that don't know it a work.

Nah, that was the night of Bound for Glory 2011. Bobby Roode was white hot (by TNA standards) and he had a title shot against Angle. Angle won and the TNA fans were not happy.

Hogan made that Tweet and then on the next Impact, James Stork beat Angle for the belt. He's basically trying to say marks don't know because they have a plan... It just wasn't a good plan.

Edit: after doing some searching, I think we're both right because he did also bury Roode on Sirus Radio the day before too.
 

Angry Grimace

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "does something taste funny to you?"
Boy SD sure did get fucked having a bunch of huge breaks between all of their PPVs given that modern WWE has no idea how to write six weeks of scripts without a PPV payoff.
 
Top Bottom