March 17, 2008
Wii-kly Update: Zero New Classic Games Added to Wii Shop Channel
It's St. Patrick's Day, and Virtual Console is celebrating with our very own potato famine. This week, we suggest you sit back in front of your Wii, Classic Controller in hand, and imagine what it would be like if there was a game to play. Drink a warm, cheap, foul-tasting pisswater beer with a hearty dollop of green food coloring, choke down some corned beef, and sing songs about the old days, when the fields were green with new Virtual Console releases. Remember when we put out four games a week? Well, now you can eff off and die.
Nintendo adds new games to the Wii Shop Channel at 9 a.m. Pacific time every Monday. Wii owners with a high-speed Internet connection can redeem Wii Points to download the games. Wii Points can be purchased in the Wii Shop Channel or at retail outlets. This weeks new game is:
Nothing (1000 Wii Points): There is no game, however, all Wii owners are still asked to pay 1000 Wii Points just in gratitude for having the privilege of owning this godforsaken thing. You know how many children go to bed at night crying because they don't have a Wii? It's probably a fair few.