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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!

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R

Red_taiyaki

Member
_Ph03n1x_ said:
Bah I was afraid of this. I'll just ask now and if I get shot down without a decent reason I'm gonna move on. Thanks for the help guys.
Click to expand...

My general rule is ask them out every third email. As in, if they reject you the first time continue communication again until you've sent another three emails back-and-forth. Current girl I'm chatting with (and should be meeting up with sometime this week) took six emails each back-and-forth before we decided to meet this week.

Now GRANTED, she's been busy studying her ass off so yaaaaaaaah. Small delay.

If it's taken any more than 12-15 emails/messages total I usually move on.
 
R

RayStorm

Member
After Devolution kindly reviewed my profile and suggested a better showing of personality I came to the conclusion that I have no
personality
idea how to do so. Actually in quite a bit of disparity to reality I thought I already did.
But going through my profile again I saw the point.

I was/still am pretty general with what I write about myself, few examples, actually very little aside from some (to me) mildly funny statements.

So I tried to expand some things a bit but still can't quite shake the feeling of just having used more empty words than before without actually conveying all that much more.

So... help me please.

My self-summary
I am 27% more transparent than average.

From time to time I actually do allow my creativity to do some very ordinary things. Like following the joy of painting and trying my hand at painting a Christmas palm tree. Nonetheless I would like to make a case for my uniqueness - I am great at practical application of the principles learned in Tetris.

My interest in the world is only limited by time. I think change is exciting and every new discovery shall be welcomed with open arms. Having said that, I also do like to talk in broad and general terms that do nothing at all to describe anything at all. Indeed, using words just for the sake of using them sometimes becomes an obsession that severely limits the time I could spend to explore and inform myself about the world and its inhabitants.

People (so far just me but it will catch on, just wait for it) like to call me Dr. Theoretical. The same people seem to confuse me for a Supervillain looking for world domination... Tsk! Just mentioning a slight desire for ruling the world seems to alarm people.

Quote for the Link to my profile
 
P

_Ph03n1x_

Member
Red_taiyaki said:
My general rule is ask them out every third email. As in, if they reject you the first time continue communication again until you've sent another three emails back-and-forth. Current girl I'm chatting with (and should be meeting up with sometime this week) took six emails each back-and-forth before we decided to meet this week.

Now GRANTED, she's been busy studying her ass off so yaaaaaaaah. Small delay.

If it's taken any more than 12-15 emails/messages total I usually move on.
Click to expand...

Yeah that's a good rule to follow and I sort of did that anyway but she said she was hesitant to meet so I backed off. i'll try to get her number and if she doesn't have a decent reason I'll just move on. Will update with an outcome
 
P

Pastry

Banned
Red_taiyaki said:
My general rule is ask them out every third email. As in, if they reject you the first time continue communication again until you've sent another three emails back-and-forth. Current girl I'm chatting with (and should be meeting up with sometime this week) took six emails each back-and-forth before we decided to meet this week.

Now GRANTED, she's been busy studying her ass off so yaaaaaaaah. Small delay.

If it's taken any more than 12-15 emails/messages total I usually move on.
Click to expand...

Yeah the girl I have a date with this Friday it took four messages before we agreed to meetup. Granted this was on POF and not OKC but you know same difference.
 
R

Red_taiyaki

Member
Pastry said:
Yeah the girl I have a date with this Friday it took four messages before we agreed to meetup. Granted this was on POF and not OKC but you know same difference.
Click to expand...

I for the life of me, cannot get a date off of POF. Granted, I RARELY ever use the site. I mostly prefer OKC.
 
P

Pastry

Banned
Red_taiyaki said:
I for the life of me, cannot get a date off of POF. Granted, I RARELY ever use the site. I mostly prefer OKC.
Click to expand...

That's weird because its the opposite for me, I have better luck on POF than OKC ( my pictures and info are mostly the same) and the girls that I get responses from are generally cuter also.
 
element

element

Member
RayStorm said:
After Devolution kindly reviewed my profile and suggested a better showing of personality I came to the conclusion that I have no
personality
idea how to do so. Actually in quite a bit of disparity to reality I thought I already did.
Click to expand...
That is one of my problems. I remember asking someone to look at my profile and they just said I sound boring, and really I AM BORING and I'm fine with that.

I like to cook. I take my dog for walks. I work. I go to concerts. The idea I have to add some crazy exaggerated biography to get people interested sucks.

As crappy as it is, I rather find someone that enjoys me as I am then change into someone else.
 
Maddocks

Maddocks

Member
im boring also, to counter that I added humor. Showing them how ill take them out to taco bell and let them order anything they want on the dollar menu, but they can order a large drink because that's how the 1% live.

just be silly. even boring, can still be fun.
 
D

Devolution

Member
element said:
That is one of my problems. I remember asking someone to look at my profile and they just said I sound boring, and really I AM BORING and I'm fine with that.

I like to cook. I take my dog for walks. I work. I go to concerts. The idea I have to add some crazy exaggerated biography to get people interested sucks.

As crappy as it is, I rather find someone that enjoys me as I am then change into someone else.
Click to expand...

Who said you had to change into someone else? The whole point of an online profile is to sell yourself. If you take the tune of "i'm boring deal with it" you aren't engaging anyone.
 
N

NobleGundam

Banned
Devolution said:
Who said you had to change into someone else? The whole point of an online profile is to sell yourself. If you take the tune of "i'm boring deal with it" you aren't engaging anyone.
Click to expand...
This is true. For some reason I rather not sell myself out fully, I'd like the viewer to take an interest to find out through a PM whenever engaging a convo for the pleasure or the mystery.

My profile needs A Lot more work.

I just started several weeks ago and getting results no doubt. Posting here and texting one girl right now ahaha :)
 
A

Ashhong

Member
Damn I'm running out of places to take this girl. There's nothing really for us to do out here. All we do is eat and watch movies. Any ideas?? :( I suggested hanging out at her place before but she seemed to not be comfortable with it, and said that her roommates don't like people over or something. I don't know..
 
D

Devolution

Member
Ashhong said:
Damn I'm running out of places to take this girl. There's nothing really for us to do out here. All we do is eat and watch movies. Any ideas?? :( I suggested hanging out at her place before but she seemed to not be comfortable with it, and said that her roommates don't like people over or something. I don't know..
Click to expand...

Winter definitely makes it harder to just up and do stuff even when you're in a steady relationship =/. Galleries? Museums? Hobby stores? Make some pottery together? Jewelry workshop? Rock climbing? Planetarium? Laser tag?
 
V

Visceir

Member
Ashhong said:
Damn I'm running out of places to take this girl. There's nothing really for us to do out here. All we do is eat and watch movies. Any ideas?? :( I suggested hanging out at her place before but she seemed to not be comfortable with it, and said that her roommates don't like people over or something. I don't know..
Click to expand...

Go to a spa or ice skating. Sex is also pretty fun!
 
W

WascallyWabbit

Member
Ashhong said:
Damn I'm running out of places to take this girl. There's nothing really for us to do out here. All we do is eat and watch movies. Any ideas?? :( I suggested hanging out at her place before but she seemed to not be comfortable with it, and said that her roommates don't like people over or something. I don't know..
Click to expand...

Good suggestions above. You can also google "things to do in X this weekend" and you should be able to find some stuff
 
A

Ashhong

Member
Cool thanks. It's so much harder when we don't have a place to just hang out at. My last ex was from the same city but we had no problem just going back to her place all the time.
 
S

Spunky Monkey

Member
Well i've had one or two replies since i last posted here but like before they really seem like they can't be bothered. Its really tough as theres loads of people i know if they gave me a chance for 5 minutes we'd have a great chat/time but i kinda think my pictures put people off because im not a super hunk.

Sadly theres not much i think i can do to change how i look so im really not sure what i can do. Girls won't reply without a picture and they won't because they judge me on my pictures, not my profile. As i said before i always thought i was a good looking guy, not the best but above average but this is giving my looks confidence a huge knock.
 
M

Misterhbk

Member
Spunky Monkey said:
Well i've had one or two replies since i last posted here but like before they really seem like they can't be bothered. Its really tough as theres loads of people i know if they gave me a chance for 5 minutes we'd have a great chat/time but i kinda think my pictures put people off because im not a super hunk.

Sadly theres not much i think i can do to change how i look so im really not sure what i can do. Girls won't reply without a picture and they won't because they judge me on my pictures, not my profile. As i said before i always thought i was a good looking guy, not the best but above average but this is giving my looks confidence a huge knock.
Click to expand...

There's so many other factors in getting responces than just looks. Honestly I think the opening message is the most important thing. Girls get tons of messages so what's going to make yours stand out? What do you typically put in your opening message?
 
A

Az987

all good things
Check my email: Oh, a message on OKC!

"Hey sexy."

Oooo someone is calling me sexy. Lets go see who this person is.

Goes to OKC

ITS A 52 YEAR OLD WOMAN!

Nononononono
 
S

Spunky Monkey

Member
Misterhbk said:
There's so many other factors in getting responces than just looks. Honestly I think the opening message is the most important thing. Girls get tons of messages so what's going to make yours stand out? What do you typically put in your opening message?
Click to expand...

Yeah its not 100% looks but i think an average message with an attractive picture will easily win over someone much more than a terrible picture but the best personality in the world.

I think my messages are fine, its pretty pointless putting a single message here as i write each one for each person based on their profile, keep away from the sex talk and just leave them as casual questions and chat.

I get a lot of people viewing my profile after they get a message from me but no reply which makes me think it comes down to not being attracted. I've actually created 3 different profiles as a test. All use the same picture and at one time all had the same profile text (i've since messed with them too) but i'd send different messages on each account. One would be what i normally do. One would be a script someone else had written where you edit one or two words to relate it and the 3rd was just a hi i've moved here, looking to meet new people generic message with a question to recommend any cool places.

All 3 profiles have gotten similar results the past week so im narrowing it down to picture more than anything.
 
M

Mecha_Infantry

Banned
I have a chance to message an absolutely amazing chick with similar interested, 1 year younger than me and just seems amazing.

I really don't wanna fuck up the first message, so I might have to ask OKC Momma Devo to review my 1st message to her to make she it's OK!
 
L

Liu Kang Baking A Pie

Member
element said:
That is one of my problems. I remember asking someone to look at my profile and they just said I sound boring, and really I AM BORING and I'm fine with that.

I like to cook. I take my dog for walks. I work. I go to concerts. The idea I have to add some crazy exaggerated biography to get people interested sucks.

As crappy as it is, I rather find someone that enjoys me as I am then change into someone else.
Click to expand...
This is so frustratingly defeatist and thick-headed.

No one told you to have a crazy exaggerated biography. What people keep saying is be funny, thoughtful, engaging, interested, self-assured, ambitious, personable, etc. What you do with your life is like what most people do with theirs. They're just not self-pitying and stubborn about how to interact with people and their world.
 
Maddocks

Maddocks

Member
Az987 said:
Check my email: Oh, a message on OKC!

"Hey sexy."

Oooo someone is calling me sexy. Lets go see who this person is.

Goes to OKC

ITS A 52 YEAR OLD WOMAN!

Nononononono
Click to expand...

you mean 52 years young!

Do it man, do it. Fear nothing!....except hypertension.
 
R

Red_taiyaki

Member
Pastry said:
That's weird because its the opposite for me, I have better luck on POF than OKC ( my pictures and info are mostly the same) and the girls that I get responses from are generally cuter also.
Click to expand...

Hmmm...maybe it's because I live in the Bay Area so there's more cute Asian girls (my preference) on OKC. The ones on POF seem to ignore me for the most part lol.

Well, to be fair I spend 5x the effort on OKC than POF too.
 
M

Misterhbk

Member
Voice of Reason said:
I have a picture with a girl and I get no replies anymore. Should it just be flaunting my fat body in front of the mirror?
Click to expand...

Lol, hopefully you meant this as a joke. I'm going to say the same thing I always say, its about the first message you send. Sure looks matter but not nearly as much to girls as they do to guys.

Ive written messages to girls that lead to no response. Wait a few weeks and write them a different message and suddenly ive got a response and I always use the same few photos. Im among those who simply copy and paste with a few edits here and there for each girl. Its tiring and useless trying to write a unique message for these sites when at best you'll get a 30-40 percent response rate. Ive found a message that seems to work. Now I'm getting messages from several different girls usually daily.
 
V

Voice of Reason

Banned
Misterhbk said:
Lol, hopefully you meant this as a joke. I'm going to say the same thing I always say, its about the first message you send. Sure looks matter but not nearly as much to girls as they do to guys.

Ive written messages to girls that lead to no response. Wait a few weeks and write them a different message and suddenly ive got a response and I always use the same few photos. Im among those who simply copy and paste with a few edits here and there for each girl. Its tiring and useless trying to write a unique message for these sites when at best you'll get a 30-40 percent response rate. Ive found a message that seems to work. Now I'm getting messages from several different girls usually daily.
Click to expand...
Give me a template, yo.

But still: pic with girl or without girl?
 
Maddocks

Maddocks

Member
Voice of Reason said:
Give me a template, yo.

But still: pic with girl or without girl?
Click to expand...

never have a picture with another person. It looks like you are a couple trying to find a 3rd. A group is better then just another person.

toss the picture. If I see a girl and she has a guy with her, shes blacklisted. Don't need some girl with a guy best friend feeding her an ego boost while systematically trying to fuck her, that's my job!
 
Darkmakaimura

Darkmakaimura

Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
Red_taiyaki said:
A warm hole is a warm hole. It don't matter the mileage on it xP.

On a completely different note, have a coffee date with a girl tomorrow. Can't wait. First date of 2013!
Click to expand...
I read this as worm hole. Probably yet another reason I can't find a girlfriend.
 
P

_Ph03n1x_

Member
_Ph03n1x_ said:
Yeah that's a good rule to follow and I sort of did that anyway but she said she was hesitant to meet so I backed off. i'll try to get her number and if she doesn't have a decent reason I'll just move on. Will update with an outcome
Click to expand...

So yeah the girl just stop responding so time for me to move on!
 
A

Ashhong

Member
WascallyWabbit said:
What's wrong with your place? Sorry if missed it earlier
Click to expand...

I live with my family, but on top of that she doesn't drive. So I would have to pick her up, come back to my place, go drop her off, drive back home. I might bring her over one day though when my place isn't out of the way after a night out somewhere.

Tried to go in for the first kiss today, we've been dating for about...2 1/2 weeks or so, been on 5-6 dates? Got rejected. I don't mind really, I know we like each other, she just likes taking things like that slow. I somewhat knew that ahead of time, but didn't know it would be this slow lol. Oh well, good things come to those who wait right?
 
A

Alfarif

This picture? uhh I can explain really!
I redid my profile. I don't really remember what all I had on it before but I'm getting WAY more responses than before (I was talking to 3 or 4 before, I'm talknig to 6-7 at a time now). I think it's the pictures near the bottom of my picture section that are doing it. Hahahahaha. Check it out. Rate me. Whatever, I don't even know.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/alphariff
 
Jaffaboy

Jaffaboy

Member
Sooo... I changed my profile from Single to Seeing Someone three days ago, and set looking for friends only. I just checked my profile and I've got more new messages now than I did in the past 3 months! I think I've found the secret, guyz!
 
M

Mecha_Infantry

Banned
What's the deal with a woman with a kid? Yay nay?

A chick I'm talking to now has a little guy, but I completely missed that point when I first messaged her. Will be a bit cold and obvious if I stop hollering
 
W

WascallyWabbit

Member
Mecha_Infantry said:
What's the deal with a woman with a kid? Yay nay?

I chick I'm talking to now has a little guy, but I completely missed that point when I first messaged her. Will be a bit cold and obvious if I stop hollering
Click to expand...

It's all about personal preference. But I guess if you both are clear on what you want (casual or serious) then I guess proceed as usual

EDIT: Alfarif, I tossed you a rating. Those are some hilarious pics you got haha
 
R

Red_taiyaki

Member
Alfarif said:
I redid my profile. I don't really remember what all I had on it before but I'm getting WAY more responses than before (I was talking to 3 or 4 before, I'm talknig to 6-7 at a time now). I think it's the pictures near the bottom of my picture section that are doing it. Hahahahaha. Check it out. Rate me. Whatever, I don't even know.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/alphariff
Click to expand...

Just rated your profile!

On a side note, has anyone ever seen a guy's profile with "replies selectively"? Pretty much every male profile I've checked out on the website is green...
 
A

Ashhong

Member
Mecha_Infantry said:
What's the deal with a woman with a kid? Yay nay?

A chick I'm talking to now has a little guy, but I completely missed that point when I first messaged her. Will be a bit cold and obvious if I stop hollering
Click to expand...

If you don't want to deal with the kid just stop responding. Online dating is a cold world. Why would it be obvious though? She would assume you knew about the kid before you messaged.
 
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