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[Icefire1424]

ParentGAF help me decide a debate between me and my wife: what's more likely?

1. Jaundice or some other medical condition or cause for concern has turned a small portion of our daughter's upper lip yellow
2. Our 3-year old is lying when she says she didn't try to eat a highlighter

Edit: I was right it washed off

LoL. Been there.


Ice (Noticing that his little one suddenly has blue lips): "Maddie, did you try to eat a blue crayon?"
Maddie: "Noooo, dada".
Ice: "What's that you're holding?
Maddie: "Blue crayon".
Ice: "I see. Let's go play outside for awhile."

 

[H.Protagonist]

Sleep Training Update:

Night 1 - 3 wakings, 7:00am rise (I woke her)
Day 1 - 3 naps, all 1+ hrs

Night 2 - 1 waking, 7:30 rise (I woke her)
Day 2 - 3 naps, all 1+ hrs

Night 3 - 2 wakings (but only right at bed and to wake up at 6am), 7am rise after she wouldn't resettle
Day 3 - 3 naps, 1hr 40 min, then 2 short 40min

Night 4 - No wakings! 7:05am rise (I woke her)
Day 4 - 3 naps, 1hr 30min, then 2 short 40min

Night 5 - No wakings. 7:15 rise (I woke her)
Day 5 - 1 nap, 1+hr, then pram/car naps as we were out all day

Night 6 - No wakings. 6:35am rise (she woke and wouldn't resettle, so got her up at 7)
Day 6 - In prog.


Current Results: Amazing. From waking up 2-4 times to eat every night and going to bed generally OK, but with the occasional strop to no wakings, and almost no fuss at night now. Naps seem to be continuing OK, but still worried that she'll drop the third one.

This is very much like my thinking. These conversations and discussions are going to happen as a regular course be if you abstain or not. Hiding it away is a bad idea.


I say that as someone that brews at home. So explaining things to my son about how that works can be an educational tool also. It's chemistry.

Brewing at home sounds awesome and educational. Hmmm. For the sake of my child I may have to take this up as well.

 

[Red]

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[Peagles]

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[H.Protagonist]

I'm jealous. Nearly at 14 months and we've made it the whole night only a single time.

Sorry, man. No further luck after the introduction of the bear (a great idea, btw, and one I'm going to steal)...?

Wonderful! Are you following a particular method?

I decided to go with a modified Ferber approach after loading her up with a full belly in the hour before bedtime.

I clusterfeed her starting at 6PM, give her her puree at 6:40ish, another quick feed, and then I wait for the sleep signs (eye rubbing, yawning, etc.). When I get that, I take her up to her crib and turn on the white noise app, give her a few swaying cuddles, then suit her up (Magic Merlin Sleep suit). A kiss on the cheek and then I go. She's awake, knows I left, and is basically left to her own devices unless she continued to cry for 15mins, which is when I decided I'd start the countdown. This only happened once during the week, though. After day two she just went down with one or two small cries and then nothing.

The guidelines I used (with an added an additional 10-15mins at the start of any waking to give her a chance to self-soothe before I started the countdown):

NUMBER OF MINUTES TO WAIT BEFORE RESPONDING TO YOUR CHILD

Day 1 – 3 min (1st wait); 5 min (2nd wait); 10 min (3rd wait); 10 min (subsequent waits)

Day 2 – 5 min; 10 min; 12 min; 12 min (subsequent waits)

Day 3 – 10 min; 12 min; 15 min; 15 min (subsequent waits)

Day 4 – 12 min; 15 min; 17 min; 17 min (subsequent waits)

Day 5 – 15 min; 17 min; 20 min; 20 min (subsequent waits)

Day 6 – 17 min; 20 min; 25 min; 25 min (subsequent waits)

Day 7 – 20 min; 25 min; 30 min; 30 min (subsequent waits)


Got the base info from here: HOW TO SLEEP TRAIN YOUR BABY USING CIO OR DR. FERBER’S PROGRESSIVE-WAITING METHOD


I'm on day 7 now and, she was basically gold after day 1. I'm sure she'll have some relapses later down the line (maybe even tonight), but right now I'm getting a baby that goes down at 7PM-ish and sleeps till 7AM with no wakings. She still does 3 naps a day (today she was back to a 2hr nap, a 1hr 20min, and a 40min kip) too. It feels unreal. Seriously. I don't regret waiting till she was nearly 6 months to sleep train fully (we'd worked on self-soothing many times during day naps prior to this), but huzzah. Fucking huzzah.

 

[Red]

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[Peagles]

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[Lebron]

The terrible two's will be the death of me. Everyday is a tantrum over nothing really. Hitting back, "no and mine" are the only words he knows. Then I hear the terror 3's are worse? That's only a couple months away...


My god...

 

[mrkgoo]

There's no strict age boundary.

We were lucky our 4-year old was largely pretty mellow. No crazy tantrums like those I've heard of (destroying things etc). I'm sure theres an element of luck, but what you do probably has a part to play I'm sure, but I guess you can never know. AT 4, she had become a bit more defiant, but still no super crazy things. Sure she will cry, but it's brief. There's no hard and fast rule to how to deal with these things, every child response differently to different parenting methods. You gotta find what works.

Our second child at just 1 year old, on the other hand, is already a handful, so who knows where he's headed.

 

[emag]

We've given sleep training another go now that the little one is 15 months old. Four nights in, so far (not counting one botched attempt on Thursday).

Previous trials failed -- if we tried to let him cry it out, he'd just keep going without any signs of tuckering himself out. The Ferber method didn't help, either. He'd just cry harder once he'd been soothed. We'd also tried putting the crib in our bedroom instead of his own room, but that didn't make things any better.

This time around, cry it out ("extinction", in his own bedroom, with a hearbeat/breath doll) has been surprisingly successful. The first night he went down in under 20 minutes, and it's been 7-15 minutes each night since. He wakes himself up once or twice a night but returns to sleep with well under 5 minutes of complaining each time. It's still heartbreaking to put him down (well, stand him up) in his crib; as soon as we enter his room, he clings onto us, shakes his head no, and pleads to stay with us. The look of betrayed sorrow on his face is the worst of it. I do hope that this is just a stage and it will pass shortly, but he's struggled against sleep ever since he was born. :/

 

[Smokey]

I cannot do self soothe. The crying will not stop, and only intensifies. He's just about 6 months. Then it gets to a point where he starts coughing and sounding likes choking and that's it for me.

Maybe he's faking and knows that's the ultimate sign for me/us to give in, I dunno.

 

[Septimus Prime]

Do you guys worry about your kids inheriting your genetic defects? As someone with asthma and eczema, I kind of freak out internally a bit whenever my son coughs or gets a rash.

 

[JeTmAn81]

Sometimes it's like Hootie says, you just gotta let'er cry

 

[theaface]

Had our 20 week scan today and we were delighted to see our baby is developing really well. We don't want to find out the gender so it was a little disconcerting to hear the sonographer say 'he' at one point. It may just be one of those absent-minded slips of the tongue which I myself have been guilty of, or she could have genuinely let the cat out the bag. Either way, we won't know for sure until January but for now it's difficult to not think its a boy! I guess it doesn't ultimately matter as we'd be thrilled whatever the gender.

 

[Smokey]

Sometimes it's like Hootie says, you just gotta let'er cry

Even if they're 'choking' eh

 

[Red]

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[JoeNut]

Had our 20 week scan today and we were delighted to see our baby is developing really well. We don't want to find out the gender so it was a little disconcerting to hear the sonographer say 'he' at one point. It may just be one of those absent-minded slips of the tongue which I myself have been guilty of, or she could have genuinely let the cat out the bag. Either way, we won't know for sure until January but for now it's difficult to not think its a boy! I guess it doesn't ultimately matter as we'd be thrilled whatever the gender.

Hey man, we have our 20 week scan next Thursday but we're gonna find out the sex, I don't know how you can not want to find out! It's way too big a deal for me to want to keep it a surprise!
As you said, at the end of the day you'll be thrilled whatever the outcome.

 

[Red]

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[Ensoul]

The terrible two's will be the death of me. Everyday is a tantrum over nothing really. Hitting back, "no and mine" are the only words he knows. Then I hear the terror 3's are worse? That's only a couple months away...


My god...

The 3s are tough as well. I didn't really get easier until the kids are 5 and 6 and they can really start to understand you and understand the consequences of their actions. Regardless every age group has their different issues.

Do you guys worry about your kids inheriting your genetic defects? As someone with asthma and eczema, I kind of freak out internally a bit whenever my son coughs or gets a rash.

I do. I have asthma but I believe I have that because my parents used to smoke in the car and at the house so that isn't a major concern. My concern is diabetes. My wife is type 1 and she was diagnosed at age 11. There have been some small scares with my son. We got a call from the school because he kept getting up to use the bathroom in class. Turns out he was just drinking too much water. Another time is when we were out and he went skating and said he felt shaky and he had this blank look on his face and he was sweating. Turns out he was just hungry.

But diabetes is a concern for me.

 

[Soulfire]

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[H.Protagonist]

Every time the Parent thread goes quiet I assume everyone is curled up under a table in the fetal position clutching a bottle of wine...

Updates?

Do you guys worry about your kids inheriting your genetic defects? As someone with asthma and eczema, I kind of freak out internally a bit whenever my son coughs or gets a rash.

I do and I don't. My family has PKD and a world record for inheriting it (it's supposed to be a 50-50 shot). Only untested/unknowns are myself and two cousins. Everyone else (3 generations) got it. It's not fatal anymore, though, and they're making huge strides in transplant medicine, so even if my daughter does inherit it, I know it's something we can get through.

Does anyone know if wraparound high chair tables exist? Or any chairs with platforms under the sides so food doesn't immediately hit the floor?

I've seen things like this in baby stores:

Would that work? I think there are also pouch-like ones.

We had our twenty week scan yesterday. Everything is looking good and we found out we're having a boy. Since we've already got a little girl everyone keeps telling us it's perfect. I'm excited to see the differences between the two, he already feels different. My daughter's stubbornness came through loud in clear while she was still inside, but so far our son seems more laid back, except that instead of kicking outward he likes to kick inward and that sucks.

Congrats, Soulfire~ That's some nice symmetry there. I'd love a boy if we decided to go for a second, too.

 

[BriareosGAF]

Every time the Parent thread goes quiet I assume everyone is curled up under a table in the fetal position clutching a bottle of wine...

Start of school here. Eldest came back from first day with this report: "the girls...are wearing... mascara!" Youngest was on a manic roller coaster of excitement and anxiety.

Congrats, Soulfire~ That's some nice symmetry there. I'd love a boy if we decided to go for a second, too.

Somewhat related, in all the literature I read before we started having children, the two takeaways I remember are that there was a small but non-trivial statistical correlation with depression and fathers who wanted boys but got daughters. The other was that there was a similar correlation in the opposite direction with fathers who played rough physical games with their kids--their daughters had decreased incidence. This led to me playing a game with them with the light-hearted title 'daddy beats you up' which was adapted from when I would teach children's aikido--they would just run at me and I would do light throws or just resist them into my center-point. This was all fun and lovely until one day my youngest came back from school with a drawing of a stubbled father and a title "I love my Daddy because he likes to beat me up."

Good times.

 

[n64coder]

Every time the Parent thread goes quiet I assume everyone is curled up under a table in the fetal position clutching a bottle of wine...

Updates?

My girls are back in school and since they're teenagers, it's mostly easy work except that they can be lazy and need constant reminders to do the things they're supposed to do.

The oldest is a junior and has started driving. We have been doing college tours so she gets a taste of the college experience and to know what to look for. She also does cross country and will be on the ski team again.

The youngest is in 8th grade and has taken over the lawn cutting duty in the family. The new thing for her is joining the competition dance team which means a bunch of classes during the week and 4-5 hours of practice on Saturdays.

My kids are of the age where I can do fun stuff together like go for long bike rides (16+ miles), play tennis, or do some skiing. Good stuff.

 

[Red]

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[zbarron]

As for updates:

Nick is being an average 7 month old. He's on track and loving eating real foods. We're back on sleep training. We slacked after the first time, and it took longer for him to get it the second time. My advice to everyone is don't slack on it the first time.

Gabe, the 5 year old has had a rough time lately. He was just diagnosed with a speech and language disorder, so we're trying to meet with the school to see what help he qualifies for. He also just had minor outpatient surgery. Later the day of the surgery I was vacuuming and he was running toward it and away from it as a game. He was behind me in my blind spot and ran to it while I was bringing it back and the handle got him right in the cheek. I felt horrible after that. Now he's more fearful then usual and on edge. We took him to Touch-A-Truck shortly after all this. He didn't want to have anything to do with the cars and wanted to go home, but then he saw the helicopter land and wanted to check it out. He loved it.

 

[Media]

First day of school here yesterday too. My 13 year continues to be a fucking giant. He answered his phone yesterday and I, for a spilt second, thought I had called my husband.

Middle kid continues to be moody and a bit emotional. Hopefully this phase will pass.

My daughter continues to be teeny, adorable, manipulative, and lies too much. Throw latter two hopefully being a phase as well.

It was weird shoving them all out the door again.

 

[Septimus Prime]

I'm still alive! But it's been an insane week, since we were moving and also trying to close escrow on our old house while the buyers are being annoying. As you all probably already know but I just learned, moving with a baby is a million times harder than without.

 

[JoeNut]

20 week scan today, so excited! hopefully we can find out the gender

 

[theaface]

20 week scan today, so excited! hopefully we can find out the gender

Best of luck. We had our 20 week scan last week and were delighted to hear that our little nugget is doing just fine.

Disappointingly for us, the sonographer made one gender-specific reference (he/she). It could have just been an absent-minded slip of the tongue with no bearing at all, or it could have given the gender away. We won't know for sure until the big day, but it's disappointing to feel like the surprise has been taken away from us.

Still, boy or girl, I don't mind one bit either away and I'm just glad that so far, baby's doing good.

 

[Halcyon]

My baby girl is turning 6 months old in a bit. She's been really the best baby I could imagine. It's hard sometimes but overall I feel blessed. I'm one of those 'constantly taking pictures' dads.

 

[Skiptastic]

Ben turned 1 year old on August 21, and yesterday had his first day at Parent's Day Out! The teacher said he did an excellent job and when my wife went to pick him up, she said he didn't want to leave!

He's an amazing kid and I love him so much!

 

[aliengmr]

Been meaning to share a pic of our youngest. Name's Isaac.

Our oldest is Alexander. (he hates having his picture taken.)

 

[JoeNut]

We're having a boy!!! So excited, we've been calling him He call along so far and it would've been a real shock if it was a girl. Amazing to see him so big, mouth and lips and toes and everything. So crazy. Can't wait to meet him

 

[Halcyon]

Been meaning to share a pic of our youngest. Name's Isaac.

If we woulda had a boy his name woulda been Isaac. Such a cool name. (I like Dead Space)

 

[JeTmAn81]

My daughter is turning two tomorrow. Her party is on Saturday in the park. It's Elmo themed. She loves Elmo. Somehow we ended up with about 30 people coming so we're scrambling to get everything in place for the party. I put together a dance playlist which includes this gem:

https://youtu.be/kKW7TIjqZAA

 

[aliengmr]

If we woulda had a boy his name woulda been Isaac. Such a cool name. (I like Dead Space)

We really struggled with naming him. With Alex it was super easy, we had lunch at Red Robin and my wife started listing names alphabetically. I'm a history buff of sorts so we named him after Alexander the Great.

Isaac was named after my great grandfather, Isaac Newton (Newton being the middle name there). Though Dead Space actually reminded me of that name.

 

[wild wild rice]

Hiya ParentGAF. My 7 week old is doing well! I hope all GAF babies and kiddies are doing well.

A thought just occurred to me. For tax purposes, is it best for me to add her as a dependent through work immediately or just wait until filing taxes? Someone told me to not claim her as a dependent on my W-4 and that I would get a larger return if I waited.

Is this true? Does my question even make sense?

 

[brau]

Hiya ParentGAF. My 7 week old is doing well! I hope all GAF babies and kiddies are doing well.

A thought just occurred to me. For tax purposes, is it best for me to add her as a dependent through work immediately or just wait until filing taxes? Someone told me to not claim her as a dependent on my W-4 and that I would get a larger return if I waited.

Is this true? Does my question even make sense?

If you need the extra cash per paycheck then it makes sense to add her as a dependent right away. If you don't mind till tax season for the refund, then just do so then.

I am just claiming my daughter through my taxes at the end of the year. Leaving my paycheck as is for now.

Someone with more common sense in taxes can probably give better advice. But this is what i am doing.

 

[UristMcDwarf]

Hello ParentGaf,

I'm happy to say that my wife and I are currently expecting. It's our first one so we are both very excited.

Unfortunately the doc we saw today has us immediately booked for an ultrasound tomorrow to check for ectopic pregnancy, as my wife has been having bladder cramps. The doc assured us that the pain could just be the implanting of the zygote, but nonetheless I'm worried sick.

My wife would be absolutely devastated if we had to cancel and try again. I'm not sure how to act from here.

 

[brau]

Hello ParentGaf,

I'm happy to say that my wife and I are currently expecting. It's our first one so we are both very excited.

Unfortunately the doc we saw today has us immediately booked for an ultrasound tomorrow to check for ectopic pregnancy, as my wife has been having bladder cramps. The doc assured us that the pain could just be the implanting of the zygote, but nonetheless I'm worried sick.

My wife would be absolutely devastated if we had to cancel and try again. I'm not sure how to act from here.

I hope its nothing major and that your wife and the little one are OK!

Congrats tho!

 

[PanicFreak]

So my daughter is in a full on sleep regression. She has only been taking one nap per day and is waking up at night for hours. Last night she was up for 2 hours (1 AM to 3 AM) and learned that she can climb out of her crib.

We took the crib and turned into a toddler bed this morning. Things are about to get rough for a while.

 

[UristMcDwarf]

I hope its nothing major and that your wife and the little one are OK!

Congrats tho!

Thanks, appreciate the thought.
I'll try to keep you guys posted. Tonight is going to be a rough night I think haha

 

[wild wild rice]

If you need the extra cash per paycheck then it makes sense to add her as a dependent right away. If you don't mind till tax season for the refund, then just do so then.

I am just claiming my daughter through my taxes at the end of the year. Leaving my paycheck as is for now.

Someone with more common sense in taxes can probably give better advice. But this is what i am doing.

Makes sense, thanks!

So my daughter is in a full on sleep regression. She has only been taking one nap per day and is waking up at night for hours. Last night she was up for 2 hours (1 AM to 3 AM) and learned that she can climb out of her crib.

We took the crib and turned into a toddler bed this morning. Things are about to get rough for a while.

Always one more hill to get over, eh?

 

[brau]

Thanks, appreciate the thought.
I'll try to keep you guys posted. Tonight is going to be a rough night I think haha

Good luck today!

 

[Viper3]

The terrible two's will be the death of me. Everyday is a tantrum over nothing really. Hitting back, "no and mine" are the only words he knows. Then I hear the terror 3's are worse? That's only a couple months away...


My god...

It was like that with our son. He's almost 4 now and the tantrums have all but stopped. But there was a span of 6-8 months, where he would literally go crazy over absolutely nothing, especially if he was tired or hungry.

Just keep your cool and hang in there, it'll stop eventually.

 

[UristMcDwarf]

Today's the day we find out if it's ectopic or not. Both my wife an I took an earlier shift so we can make our 2:00 appointment. She has to drink tons of water and not urinate, I know she'll hate that haha

Hopefully everything turns out fine. She had some pain again yesterday but I'm pretty sure it was just gas as my car was unbearable on the ride home. Thanks for your support, I'll try to update as soon as I can.

 

[theaface]

Hello ParentGaf,

I'm happy to say that my wife and I are currently expecting. It's our first one so we are both very excited.

Unfortunately the doc we saw today has us immediately booked for an ultrasound tomorrow to check for ectopic pregnancy, as my wife has been having bladder cramps. The doc assured us that the pain could just be the implanting of the zygote, but nonetheless I'm worried sick.

My wife would be absolutely devastated if we had to cancel and try again. I'm not sure how to act from here.

Congratulations and best of luck for today. My wife had some quite sharp implantation pains which passed without incident, so hopefully yours is something similar.



On an unrelated note, what do you lot think of Sullivan for a boy's name? Honest, non-sugar-coated opinions, please!

 

[UristMcDwarf]

On an unrelated note, what do you lot think of Sullivan for a boy's name? Honest, non-sugar-coated opinions, please!

I really like Sully as a nickname, however I do worry that almost everyone would call him Sully before Sullivan. Just my two cents

 

[theaface]

I really like Sully as a nickname, however I do worry that almost everyone would call him Sully before Sullivan. Just my two cents

Oh totally. I'd fully expect Sully to be used day-to-day. My own thought is that you've something smart-sounding and unusual for formal circumstances, and something more easy going for social ones.

 

[modernlifeisANDY]

The terrible two's will be the death of me. Everyday is a tantrum over nothing really. Hitting back, "no and mine" are the only words he knows. Then I hear the terror 3's are worse? That's only a couple months away...


My god...

Terrible twos, threenager, fourible, and now I need one for five. Every year brings something new.