GhostWriter24
Member
::Inhales::
Hahhahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha
Thank you for that. Please share more of your parenting tactics with the world.
Pope Francis says it is OK to smack children if their dignity is maintained
- Thread starter richiek
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::Inhales::
Hahhahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha
Thank you for that. Please share more of your parenting tactics with the world.
That was actually a really good read. Thanks for that.
Just to be clear, I'm not an advocate of spanking or vice versa. I'll do what fits the situation when I have kids, whatever that may be.
Austriacus
Member
I do wonder tho if people Here are willingly ignoring the research that has been done.
Maybe a compromise? Guys you are not child abusers but what you plan to do has a high chance of damaging your children so please try to evade it at all costs. Look into reinforcement and not punishment as a solution i implore you from the bottom of my heart
Maybe a compromise? Guys you are not child abusers but what you plan to do has a high chance of damaging your children so please try to evade it at all costs. Look into reinforcement and not punishment as a solution i implore you from the bottom of my heart
"Little shits" was so nuanced. My point stands about using physical punishment to get children to submit and not be "little shits."
I think there is also a difference between little taps on the hand or bottom and spanking.
People talk about taps like they are tapping someone on the shoulder. I will say, I don't think that's bad. If you were hitting a kid hard in order for them to feel pain. My point stands.
Mammoth Jones
Member
1. Spanking isn't THE solution. But I believe it CAN be A solution. Depends on the situation and how many warnings/different approaches a parent tries.
2. Spanking isn't a requirement at all. I certainly didn't say that or believe that.
I also know plenty of kids that didn't get spanked that grew up to spank their kids. It depends on the parent and their preference.
I'll say again. I have mixed feelings about spankings but it'll be in the toolbox if need be.
With all that said I think that being stern and not my kids BFF will be enough to keep them in line generally. But the reality is they will misbehave no matter what you do. They're kids. The real thing that needs to be enforced is consequences. Now if that works by taking a toy away or time out or grounded or a spanking I'm not really going to condemn any approach.
And by spanking/slap. I mean just enough to sting but not drawing blood or throwing cambells soup cans at the kids head or kicking them or anything like that. If it's about instilling a consequence for their actions and not about purging your anger as a parent then I don't have a issue with it.
Hypemaster
Member
Lmao
People keep saying "taps." Is this coded language? Do you actually mean taps or do you mean slaps on the bottom/hand?
A tap isn't harmful. I don't see using that kind of physicality as abuse. Like tapping someone on the shoulder or pushing a child's hand away from a stove. Hitting to cause pain as a means to reinforce a message is messed up to me.
A tap isn't harmful. I don't see using that kind of physicality as abuse. Like tapping someone on the shoulder or pushing a child's hand away from a stove. Hitting to cause pain as a means to reinforce a message is messed up to me.
Slayer-33
Liverpool-2
Certain taps can be harsh enough to inflict some minor pain very temporarily to a small child, but not be something as seen as abusive.
Heh? Of course it's okay to strike in self defence.
RockTurtle
Member
the last time i participated in a spanking thread, me and a bunch of minority/Caribbean posters got perma-banned (later downgraded to 1 month) for our views on spanking.
I'm reading this thread with much interest this time around.
poppabk
Cheeks Spread for Digital Only Future
Its impossible for data to show that it does not work, only that it does not work on average. Even the studies posted earlier in this thread which were anti-spanking indicate that it is somewhat effective (ignore that it is ineffective title and read the quotes).
Those immigrated into a better world with their worse world parenting style.
Pollux
Member
Spanking is not child abuse.
This is a short sighted observation.
Do you advocate yelling at your children in front of other people? If we see it as shitty behavior with adults it is obviously respect that should be given to the young as well.
Sure there are big differences between hitting and yelling but mock that instead of the second idea which should be encouraged.
HiredN00bs
Banned
Your response was shitty. People should question themselves and seek the best solution based in evidence. Your response was to put down this idea by saying you operate on instinct or some other nonsense.
Hari Seldon
Member
Yeah I don't think anyone in this thread is saying you should spank the kid to inflict serious pain. It is more of a rare punishment level for when time outs break down.
Maintenance
Member
Those immigrated into a better world with their worse world parenting style.
Damn. Aren't you advocating against spankings?
NervousXtian
Thought Emoji Movie was good. Take that as you will.
There's research that says otherwise as well. Though you're studying this stuff.. I think you should understand that actually trying to research this in a scientific way is almost impossible.
Most parents I know spanking is a small part of an overall disciplinary system. Also, you have to take in that kids are not robots, they aren't all the same. My 2 kids are similar in a lot of ways, but vastly different in others. We have to take a slightly different approach to discipline with them.. what works for one doesn't for the other. There's no one approach to this subject.
So you can't just put column A - spankers.. column B - non-spankers and come to a conclusion that spanking was the only thing at play.
I know parents who aren't opposed to spanking, that have kids they never spanked.. and ones they did.
It's not a simple thing.
NervousXtian
Thought Emoji Movie was good. Take that as you will.
No, you tossed an insult my way and basically told me to google how to be a parent. Then accused me of basing my belief on religion.
I'm not the problem here.
Had it done once when I was a kid, never forgot it. Don't think I would do it myself, I've seen enough family and friends handle their kids well by taking them aside, given them a good talking to. Reason and defusing the situation seems possible. If a kid can't be part of something, they'll soon learn to behave. I think they must watch Supernanny.
Arrogant Bastard
Banned
Pope says something I disagree with: he is a bad Pope and says stupid shit. Neat.
I really don't think his statement was stupid, but hey, someone people do. All good. There is an important distinction that is getting lost on people, no one is advocating spanking as the only tool used. No one is advocating harm or whipping/beating/etc.
RockTurtle
Member
some people have a hard time understanding that the only person who agrees 100% with the views they hold, is themselves
que?
That's because every time he says something decent (as trite and as obvious as it may be) there will be some people jumping on tables, excited by how just amazing this new pope is!
"War is bad! We need to stop killing each other!" - "Wow, holy shit so true, love this pope."
BigBeauford
Member
At the people calling out developed countries as those who spank children, have you ever been to a third world country? I have seen children back handed and kicked because they were simply in the way.
Punishment is fine. Hitting your kids is not. Reinforcement is overall more effective, but you have to be willing to punish when it gets to that point.
Do you have a condescension quota to hit today or something?
Interesting to see people take for granted that spanking is now the equivalent to child abuse. I suppose I've experienced child abuse several times in my life, then.
Putting that aside, I like the sentiment of "maintain dignity." In general, a lot of the things that leave scars on the psyche are often times not inherently harmful, but rather presented in a way that is harmful. An angry father unleashing a few slaps on you, even if "restrained," is much more difficult for a child to absorb than a measured, well explained, ritualistic spank. And as afraid as we are to teach children about sex, infusing the topic with so much dread is usually what makes it so jarring for a child to hear about.
Things like that. "Maintain dignity" is probably a good rule of thumb, beyond the subject of spanking, for communicating something in an impactful way.
Putting that aside, I like the sentiment of "maintain dignity." In general, a lot of the things that leave scars on the psyche are often times not inherently harmful, but rather presented in a way that is harmful. An angry father unleashing a few slaps on you, even if "restrained," is much more difficult for a child to absorb than a measured, well explained, ritualistic spank. And as afraid as we are to teach children about sex, infusing the topic with so much dread is usually what makes it so jarring for a child to hear about.
Things like that. "Maintain dignity" is probably a good rule of thumb, beyond the subject of spanking, for communicating something in an impactful way.
Austriacus
Member
Of course, it will never br my job to tell parents what to do but advise. All i can really say is that as a community we dont endorse it and that the countries banning the action are doing so for a reason.
This is kinda like risk management, you can spank them and kids can end up being unnafected but in my personal opinion and of my teachers the risks and posible damage outweight the benefit
arnoldocastillo2003
Member
This, a 100% this!!! I don't know the US a lot but damn people I am baffled by the notion of some gaffers of comparing spanking to child abuse. People you got to be serious, I know that spanking isn't the solution but it some cases it is.
US GAF needs to go outside to see how child parenting is made.
Dude Abides
Banned
yeah, only people with extensive personal child-raising experience should opine on this topic.
People like Pope Francis.
HiredN00bs
Banned
I respectfully disagree.
Does anyone actually believe in Super Jesus or that he guides DNA in some way? No. It was satire to mock the idea of dismissing learning. Atheists are perfectly capable of being caught up in tradition and becoming stagnant.
And none of my commentary before this was pointed at you. I would rather a parent Google "should I spank my child?" rather than just do it, yes.
sensui-tomo
Member
i'm from the US and got spanked only when i deserved it, and that was one time and that was because i hit my sister for some stupid childish reason i've forgotten. and even then it was a spanking on my bum. Open palm slaps to the face otoh should never happen(basically i cant see slapping a child across the face as anything ok, i've only seen spankings as something that happens on the ass.
Austriacus
Member
You are absolutely right of course i didnt meant it to sound like punishment should never be done,thats just 2nd language syndrome creeping out
Shadow_FFVI
Member
I don't know if I would be capable of even spanking my children, but I'm not against it in certain circumstances. I trust that my wife and I are going to do a good job without resorting to that. She knows how to talk to children in a way that makes them know they need to listen carefully and learn, without being condescending or mean spirited.
Mammoth Jones
Member
D
Deleted member 13876
Unconfirmed Member
Oh shit.
NervousXtian
Thought Emoji Movie was good. Take that as you will.
Well, I get it though.
It's pretty tough for a teacher of child development to say "hitting kids is okay".
No offense, but any person who tells that from a position of authority is setting themselves up for civil liabilities.
Not exactly a situation someone in that position would want to put themselves in.
The Catholic church is a renowned authority on LGBT-rights, women's health issues, economics and education. C'mon get with the times.
Maintenance
Member
Oh snap.
inb4 somebody says "B-but he's the father of all of us!" and justify by saying his name (pope)
arnoldocastillo2003
Member
I support spanking in the bum, for me that is the conception of spanking but I don't support open slap in the face specially when a father does it to any gender. Don't know why but for me open slap is an action made by hatred, like when you are feed up with someone you slap him.
Haha damn.
Yeah I always thought it was odd that Catholic priests are supposed to give family advice, but aren't allowed to start a family.
ElectricBlanketFire
Member
I'm jealous of this post.
Arrogant Bastard
Banned
No more odd than politicians putting forth economic policy when they aren't economists, climate policy when "Hey I'm not a scientist.", etc.
It's also that the vast amount of research and literature shows it's ill effects and poor effectiveness compared to alternatives. Is that not even a consideration for you, that maybe the research that's out there shows spanking is bad, and that's why almost unanimously, child psychologists and development specialists say not to do it?
Gaffercake
Member
Nothing wrong with the odd spanking. One of my most vivid memories as a young child, despite my parents' repeated attempts at disciplining me, was behaving rudely public. I was a spoilt brat and demanded whatever caught my eye whenever we'd go into stores, throwing tantrums and insults if my every whim wasn't catered to. One day my mother was fed up of the incessant disrespect and embarrassment, so she looked me straight in the eye and delivered a firm strike to my back, never again did I behave like an abhorrent little shit on outings.
It's not abuse, I wasn't left with any bruises, cuts or injuries, nor was I psychologically damaged or mentally scarred, I was simply put in my place. Sometimes it's just necessary to make a mark of authority in a more tangible form. By no means is this indicative of incompetence or bad parenting, it's just a different style that perhaps a lot of people aren't used to.
Real abuse is what happened to Baby P and other children unfortunate enough to be left in the hands of neglectful, depraved and clueless parents. The two don't even compare.
It's not abuse, I wasn't left with any bruises, cuts or injuries, nor was I psychologically damaged or mentally scarred, I was simply put in my place. Sometimes it's just necessary to make a mark of authority in a more tangible form. By no means is this indicative of incompetence or bad parenting, it's just a different style that perhaps a lot of people aren't used to.
Real abuse is what happened to Baby P and other children unfortunate enough to be left in the hands of neglectful, depraved and clueless parents. The two don't even compare.
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