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[miyuru]

Me and my ex (don't laugh, and no pics please) broke up a long time ago, and she met someone else. I was cool about everything.

Anyway, maybe something I've never mentioned, but her parents were always racist to the thought of me and her. We couldn't go out much without them making a huge deal. I couldn't go over, she couldn't come over. One time, her mom started saying how a brown guy and a white girl will be looked down upon in society. Another time, my ex asked if I could come over to meet the parents. The answer...a straight up NO, for no real reason (well, racism obviously).

So, this new guy. They've only been going out like, two months? At least this guy got lunch with her mom, wow :lol He's done well so far. But I'm sure her parents are racist now, because this guy lives in Toronto, but he's visiting Edmonton and staying with her family. I can't get over this, how, how I was treated.

And the kicker? We went out for a year and a half, and I've seen her parents on occasion, when she's being picked up, etc. Obviously, they didn't even give me a chance.

And this guy? He's practically family already.

P.S. He's white. (No offence to any white posters, just essential for the story; I'm not racist.)

 

[Brian Fellows]

Nope never.

 

[Drozmight]

Not that I'm aware of. I usually don't really pay attention.

 

[RiZ III]

slightly back in middle school

 

[norinrad21]

I dont really pay attention to these things.

dont allow ignorant people to get under your skin is my motto...




anyway have you spoken to you ex about this? i meanabout how the new guy is being treated and how they some how looked downon you for not being white?

My guess is she's dating him to make her parents happy, she's prolly unhappy within

 

[miyuru]

Actually, the way I found out was when she was telling me he's visiting.

This thread isn't really about her, nor is it about relationships. It's about racism - her dating him has nothing really to do with any of this except for the fact that, it truly is evidence that they're racist.

It just gets to me, because this guy can just walk in, where as I had to put up with so much shit and it got me nowhere.

IMO my friend told me the best advice, in that, it's her parents losing out. To give you guys some perspective, her mom is a professor at university. Just be aware that racism abounds where you wouldn't think.

 

[RiZ III]

Miyuru, what ethnicity are you? Ive never been able to tell.

 

[Wendo]

That sucks, miyuru. You seem like a really nice even-tempered guy, I always enjoy reading your posts.

I really hate the concept of race in general. It's outdated, and has no functional purpose in society other than to divide us. Who the fuck cares what color your skin is? It's about as representative of who you are as a person as your eye color. Yet people still cling to the notion that because someone has dark or light skin that they are somehow belonging to a certain "type" of people that share a common mentality.

I find the idea of grouping people into being white/black/etc absurd. There is no "black" culture, despite what BET or gangster rappers tell you. Besides, we're all more or less of mixed race anyways.

Don't fret though. We're a new generation, and the idea of race (and therefore racism) is slowly dying. This is the age of JESSICA ALBA! Not being a definable race is HOT!

 

[AniHawk]

I've had it happen to me once. Guy was just a dick though, and his friend shut him up.

 

[Mike Works]

Why do all of your threads involve your ex girlfriend?

 

[Dilbert]

It's about racism - her dating him has nothing really to do with any of this except for the fact that, it truly is evidence that they're racist.

Who is the "they" in that sentence? It sounds like you're blaming your ethnic background for the breakup and for her eventual choice to date this guy.

 

[miyuru]

Who is the "they" in that sentence? It sounds like you're blaming your ethnic background for the breakup and for her eventual choice to date this guy.

They as in her parents. To clarify, I meant that once she started dating a white guy and seeing how different things are for this guy and her parents versus how they were for me and her parents, I now really do believe her parents are racist on the level that they don't want their white daughter (well, Turkish to be exact.....yeah racist, why....) with a brown guy.

So, this thread/racism has absolutely nothing to do with the breakup (which happened a long long time ago).

Miyuru, what ethnicity are you? Ive never been able to tell.

Sri Lankan

That sucks, miyuru. You seem like a really nice even-tempered guy, I always enjoy reading your posts.

Haha thanks man, it's good to know we can seriously support each other through the forum, it means a lot! And yes, Jessica Alba is quiiiiiiiite hot ^_^ Actually today I went out with (JUST FRIENDS, AND IT'LL STAY FRIENDS) a half-native/half-white chick. I'll post a pic tomorrow if you guys really wanna see lol, never mind I'll just do it tomorrow).

 

[miyuru]

Why do all of your threads involve your ex girlfriend?

Probably because most of the drama in my life stems from her. S'pose I could start more threads, but I don't think they'd be as interesting. Either way, let's try not to bring her into this thread. It's not about her, it's about her parents, and more generally racism and you guys.

EDIT: w00ps double post, my bad!

 

[Ash Housewares]

racism is too hilarious to hurt me

nobody can tell what I am so I've been spared

half Mexican, half Cajun, fairly dark but no spanish surname I could be anything!

 

[Rorschach]

It doesn't hurt me, but I get it all the time.

 

[mrkgoo]

Well, you see there's prejudice to all sorts of people. I know this couple where her parents don't approve of him because he's white. They're atleast open enough to let her go out with him, but they still don't approve. I asked her, what would you be like in your parents situation? And she said she would probably be the same as her parents.

You see, being a parent MEANS being protective, even hurtfully overprotective sometimes. Yes, it's still racism, but if you had kids, would you let them get up to as much trouble as you would yourself? Would you prejudge someone because they have no arms? Or a moustache? Or that they like something you hate, or hate something you like? Yeah, racism sucks, and I always feel character should come first, but sometimes even your own emotion and base instincts can defy logic.

It's funny, sometimes so-called 'open-minded' people can't even see something from a 'closed-minded' point of view.

BTW, I'm not speaking about you personally, Miyuru - just generally about the topic (I normally think your topics are good discussion pieces).

 

[Deleted member 1235]

yup one time when I was 14 this brown guy said "hey you stupid honky" and punched me really hard in the arm. It hurt for ages, but after the pain was gone, what really hurt was my FEELINGS.

 

[Dkong]

I've had some bad experiences while living on Curacao (I'm white). Most of them were at school on the Island. I have lived there from my fourth 'till my sixth and some motherfuckers at school just always had an uncompromising attitude against white kids.

Nothing serious ever happened tho, and I tried not to pay to much attention to it anyway.

 

[Wendo]

\ Yeah, racism sucks, and I always feel character should come first, but sometimes even your own emotion and base instincts can defy logic.

It's funny, sometimes so-called 'open-minded' people can't even see something from a 'closed-minded' point of view.

It's called the primitive fear system- an instinctual system that can only see things as "either or". It's why perfectly rational people will end up with phobias. For example, snakes are either all bad, or all harmless according to the primitive fear system.

Unfortunately, this really feeds racism. It takes a good deal of cognitive effort to override the primitive fear system and to engage in advanced cortical reasoning- something a lot of people aren't willing to do.

[/psych major]

 

[Hooker]

Yeah, but it doesn't have an impact on me anymore. And when it does happen (like in your case) I confront the people and just keep going and going until they finally admit them being the present neo-nazis of our society D), after which they receive a big FU. Works pretty well I have to add!



I've been hurt in the past, but that all changed after I moved to another country (Holland > Curaçao). In Holland, I was the black thug. In Curaçao, I was the white slave driver. Made me realise how superficial most people are, and just stopped caring in general.

 

[mrkgoo]

It's called the primitive fear system- an instinctual system that can only see things as "either or". It's why perfectly rational people will end up with phobias. For example, snakes are either all bad, or all harmless according to the primitive fear system.

Unfortunately, this really feeds racism. It takes a good deal of cognitive effort to override the primitive fear system and to engage in advanced cortical reasoning- something a lot of people aren't willing to do.

[/psych major]

Cool...

Yeah...sometimes, it's like there's a certain level of so-called 'racism' in everyone, and it just depends on actual level. I for one, probably wouldn't let my children get together with humans from another planet that had noses as high as their foreheads, for instance. That's pretty base and racist, but well, that's just me.

Reminds me of a guy I knew who exclusively liked Asians. His mother told him she didn't want no slitty-eyed grandchildren, yet she wasn't overtly against asian people -she just didn't want a particularly slitty-eyed person having his babies.

 

[Wendo]

His mother told him she didn't want no slitty-eyed grandchildren, yet she wasn't overtly against asian people -she just didn't want a particularly slitty-eyed person having his babies.

:lol

I'm picturing this old woman with a cane sitting on a porch. "I DON'T WANT NON OF DEM SLITTY-EYED GRANDCHILDREN! YOU HEER ME?"

 

[3phemeral]

Being multi-racial, I've experienced even from people who I thought I could identify with. I'm not considered Asian by any means, not really spanish, not filipino, aztec indian, or samoan -- and despite the fact that I DO have spanish blood, still get repremanded for "being ashamed of my ancestry" because I "can't accept my past and inability to accept the phillippines as a third world country" (how they know more about my genetic history or my opinions on filipino culture than I do is quite amazing).

I've never quite belonged to any group while growing up, which explains why I've picked up a varied amount of cultural habits from friends. You'd think that growing up in multi-racial Los Angeles would make it easier for people to accept me, but even in this environment I've been called numerous things.

Working at Burger King for a short while during High School, I was referred to as "chinito". Amongst asian aquaintences, I was "wannabe asian". I've been an "ugly mutt" and "white washed", a "spic" and even my own brothers instilled in me that I was adopted (because I had light skin) until I was old enough to realize their stupidity.

Of course, I'd be an idiot to only highlight the bad points. It's hurt a lot, but you learn from it -- and about people. Only when I've gotten older, I've been able to appreciate it -- it's even helped in some situations because some people find it rather intriguing. I often wonder why these people never were a part of my life from the beginning, I'm sure I would have been a little more confident about myself during those pointless times.

 

[DarienA]

In my 34 years on this planet, I've seen racism in many forms... discreet, overt, conscious, subconscious... but all its done is made me stronger, made me commit myself to doing what I was told I couldn't do, getting the grades I was told I could never get, getting the education I was told was above me, getting the job that I was told I wouldn't be smart enough to do, and along the way showing up a shitload of people in the process.

Yes unfortunately I've seen racism... but because of the way I've handled it I'm a better stronger black man for it.


...but I still love chicken!

EDIT:

What are the lyrics to that Faith Evans song?

If I had to do it all again
I wouldn’t take away the rain
Cuz I know it made me who I am

 

[belgurdo]

My father constantly goes on about Mexicans because he used to argue with a couple of cocky ones where he worked. Then again, he has a superiority complex and thinks he's better than everyone else on the planet, so I largely ignore him

 

[Wendo]

Being multi-racial, I've experienced even from people who I thought I could identify with. I'm not considered Asian by any means, not really spanish, not filipino, aztec indian, or samoan -- and despite the fact that I DO have spanish blood, still get repremanded for "being ashamed of my ancestry" because I "can't accept my past and inability to accept the phillippines as a third world country" (how they know more about my genetic history or my opinions on filipino culture than I do is quite amazing).

I really hate that shit. "She's denying her racial heritage because she died her hair blonde!", or "He's trying to look white! He should just accept who he is!". That stuff just pisses me off.

 

[Brian Fellows]

That sucks, miyuru. You seem like a really nice even-tempered guy, I always enjoy reading your posts.

I really hate the concept of race in general. It's outdated, and has no functional purpose in society other than to divide us. Who the fuck cares what color your skin is? It's about as representative of who you are as a person as your eye color. Yet people still cling to the notion that because someone has dark or light skin that they are somehow belonging to a certain "type" of people that share a common mentality.

I find the idea of grouping people into being white/black/etc absurd. There is no "black" culture, despite what BET or gangster rappers tell you. Besides, we're all more or less of mixed race anyways.

Don't fret though. We're a new generation, and the idea of race (and therefore racism) is slowly dying. This is the age of JESSICA ALBA! Not being a definable race is HOT!

She looks like your average white girl to me. Well your very hot average white girl but white girl none the less.

 

[Odnetnin]

In my 34 years on this planet, I've seen racism in many forms... discreet, overt, conscious, subconscious... but all its done is made me stronger, made me commit myself to doing what I was told I couldn't do, getting the grades I was told I could never get, getting the education I was told was above me, getting the job that I was told I wouldn't be smart enough to do, and along the way showing up a shitload of people in the process.

Yes unfortunately I've seen racism... but because of the way I've handled it I'm a better stronger black man for it.


...but I still love chicken!

EDIT:

What are the lyrics to that Faith Evans song?

If I had to do it all again
I wouldn’t take away the rain
Cuz I know it made me who I am

you're black? Hmm... I always imagined you a bit differently because of your avatars.

 

[karasu]

Yeah quite a bit of it actually. Two hunters started shooting at me when my friends and I were taking a short court through the woods once. I was like 11 at the time, they kept screaming nigger and fiing shots.

There was another time a couple of skinheads through bottles at me and called me monkey. Kicked the hell out of them on the spot. They started runniung and I threw a brick at them. Wonder if it hit them.

There was this time I was in Mcdonalds and itw as uber crowded. This old couple was behind me and the woman kept saying "I aint sitting next to no nigger! Why doesn't he get up and move!" Her husband was telling her to shut up but she was all "No, I aint sitting next to no damn nigger".

Some dudes tried to rape my mom because she was black. I was really young at the time but we ran like mad.

A few white guys coming out of a nightclub started taking shots at me and my friends one night. Complete with 'w000000!'s and "Yeah niggers! Ruuuuun!'s. @_@

haha this isn't racism, but when I went to school in Alaska i was one of three black kids in the entire place. I was extremely shy which somehow lead people to believe that I was from Africa. I never experienced any racism there though.

 

[Azih]

Well my ICQ account stopped working back in the day and I went to the site to look at my profile. Found out my account was hacked as my 'Interests' section was changed to 'Damn Islamist'.

This was a bit after 9/11 and is still one of the damndest things.

 

[DarienA]

you're black? Hmm... I always imagined you a bit differently because of your avatars.

PLEASE tell me the above was a joke...because I feel a rant welling up from within.

 

[dem]

PLEASE tell me the above was a joke...because I feel a rant welling up from within.

Come on... I'm sure even you thought KONEX was white


lighten up =P

 

[RaymondCarver]

Miyuru, racism is just ignorant people wanting to be comfortable. However, depending upon where you live, it'll be harder for mixed children to be accepted. It shouldn't be that way, though.



I'm white, and I was vice president of an Asian culture club. The president was black. We're a multicultural world, and people should just learn to be a little worldlier.





It's hard for people to come out of their comfort zone. Miyuru, you're a cool guy, and if there is going to be strife within a family, then you' shouldn't date such women. You usually end up dating the family, too, in terms of dealing with them. Personally, I like to find out all I can about a girl's family and grandparents so I know all possible family traits and traditions.



As a white guy in Texas, I see people forming a more worldly perspective, and it makes me happy. Miyuru, just think that a man should be judged by his character and actions. Having a positive attitude (just by itself) will make people like you. (adults, future girlfriend's family members, everyone)

Just remember that. There are whole social and economic classes, but today it's mostly economic. Work on you and feel good about your place in the world. IF someone really likes you & wants a relationship with you AND it's against their family's preference, just know that it's going to be a lot of work AND that you may not want that much stress in life.

And remember, a relationship is two SEPERATE people enjoying each other. Don't become on dependent. Continue to be your OWN self. Never loose your sense of self. Retain your individuality and be happy with who you are. Being happy with someone in a relationship is being happy with the person you are inside. Only you can do that. Remember.

 

[DarienA]

Come on... I'm sure even you thought KONEX was white

lighten up =P

The god's honest truth? Unless someone here has an avatar of themselves or has made a specific comment I actually haven't attached race to any of you... and hell even if some folks have mentioned their race unless it was attached to some hilarious story I've probably forgotten... and I believe our avatar pictured person has long since been banned so.....

I just don't see what the things I've used as my avatar over time have to do with what race I may or may not be.

 

[Loki]

Yes, I've been a victim of racism. It utterly devastated my life, and changed me to my core; fortunately, it's also helped mold me into the person I am today, so in a sense I'm thankful-- but shit, was it bad.

 

[bionic77]

The god's honest truth? Unless someone here has an avatar of themselves or has made a specific comment I actually haven't attached race to any of you... and hell even if some folks have mentioned their race unless it was attached to some hilarious story I've probably forgotten... and I believe our avatar pictured person has long since been banned so.....

I just don't see what the things I've used as my avatar over time have to do with what race I may or may not be.

Yeah I don't really attach race to anyone in here either.

And thankfully I was never really exposed to racism to myself. There have some minor incidents, but nothing really major. But I am amazed at how much racism I see my friends exhibit sometimes. Especially towards black people.

I will never understand why so many people hate black people for no fucking reason. Just one example is an asian friend of mine at law school who just hates black people for no reason and seems to blame them for everything. This is a really smart guy and overall can be pretty decent, but it can really piss me off sometimes when he says some ignorant shit. I have told him about that in the past, but he doesn't even think what he is doing is racist, he just acts as if it is true. I don't get his anger towards a group of people who never did him any harm in his life.

I have also met a lot of foreigners who just think the worst of black people as soon as they step off the boat and I will never understand how they can hate someone just on the color of their skin (especially when most of them never met a black person before they came to this country). When I see shit like that it does make me wonder how many people think negatively of me just on the basis of the color of my skin, but I never find out about it because they are not overt in their racism.

 

[Templar Wizard]

some dude called me a 'spud-nigga' (im irish) on LIVE a few weeks ago, i was amazed!
anyways, nothing to see here.

 

[Spike Spiegel]

I think HS freshman gym class was the most persistent brush I've had with racism to date.

When we'd play a sport like football or basketball, it was always the black guys running the show; us white kids either played the positions they didn't want, or were simply left warming the bench. Our coach (also black) didn't give a damn about it either, so long as we all eventually got to play, even if it was only for a moment. So a typical game of basketball involved the white guys sitting in the bleachers until a black player called upon him to take his spot; then he'd get to play for a minute or two, until the black player was ready to return and retake his position.

It was like, "Hey you (whitey)! Take over for me, I've gotta rest a minute." Or go the john, or get a drink of water, or retie his laces, or whatever - you get the picture. Then when he was ready again, it'd be "I'm back, sit your ass down." It didn't matter how well or badly you played the game; you were white, and therefore inferior when it came to basketball.

The reason I remember this so vividly is because one time when I was called upon to fill in, I ended up sinking five 3-pointers in a row. I was on fire! I made the first one, and then another; by my third basket they'd decided to keep me in a bit longer than usual. I was the go-to guy with the hot hand. I was a king... And then I missed ONE 3-point basket, and they told me to go sit down like I was nothing.

Not as extreme an example or racial prejudice as the others, I know. But it hurt.

 

[Xenon]

I spent some time in Indiana when I was young with my grandparents. I couldn't watch Sanford & Son because my grandfather didn't want black people on his TV.

I loved that show.

 

[karasu]

I couldn't watch the Pink panther because my grandma didn't want me to be gay

 

[acoustix]

miyuru, your threads do tend to have an ex-gf theme quite often. Im not saying her parents werent outta line, its just make sure you know who your mad at and why.

Ill share a story...
I used to work for a premier Valet company. We parked cars at a Golf Club whose membership was about $120,000 a year. Everyone who came to this club was white, rich, and stuck the fuck up. I parked some of the most expensive cars around all day long. Its was a good job cause the people are filthy rich and could hand you a $100 bill without thinking twice. However the bad side is a few of the people that attended this club were the most racist human beings I have ever come across. These are the worst of the worst as far as prejudice.

Im Italian, so Im just slightly darker than your average white guy. In fact Im not even that dark for an Italian come to think of it. But to the people who golfed at this club I looked like a "mexican" (no offense to any latinos but Im trying to give you a picture of how these people talk). So I was the first Valet to be hired for this club who didnt have blonde hair and blue eyes, I kid you not. All the other Valets were as white as can be. I had absolutely no problem with this and, the other Valets were really cool gusy and we got along great. The problem was the people who would pull up in their mercedes/BMW/bently/whatever and give me wierd looks cause I didnt quite fit in. Working there for almost a year I would hear racist statements and jokes from these assholes all the time. There were some cool ass members of the club but they were few and far between. I parked Mike Ditkas truck regularly but he got thrown outta the club for life for beating the shit outta some guy there. Ditkas is the fuckin man.

Anyway I noticed that my boss started limiting my shifts on days when certain members were known to play. There were few members in particular who I remember really hated me. Im not trying to brag in any way, but I think for the sake of my story its neccesary to point out that IMO im a pretty good looking guy and I kept myself very clean cut for this job. The only reason I say this is because its not like they are looking at me weird cause they thought I was a freak or ugly...it was because I wasnt 100% white in their book and they didnt want me parking their cars. IMO I was one of the best Valets that company ever had and I made a SHITLOAD of money. Id pull in 700 bucks cash in one week if I could handle the hours. I eventually got fired and boss basically admitted that one lady in particular "didnt want a Spic touching her seats". I guess Dego would have been more appropriate since Im Italian.

Anyway I was making my boss more money then he had ever made and we were doing a record # of parks per day. Bottom line is they fired me cause people were complaining about my appearance. I saw it coming but I was making so much frigging money that I just ignored it for awhile. Anyway that probably a long a boring read for some of you but just felt like getting it off my chest.

 

[WedgeX]

One time at the mall (at Sears specifically) when I was..maybe 10, the cashiers (who were black) refused to wait on me and my dad (and both of us are white) while waiting on black customers who came up after us.

I was somewhat confused and hurt.

 

[Pochacco]

Once, when I was at the grocery store, a Chinese guy budded in front of me while I was in line. I called him a "chink". He turned around and kicked me in the shin. So yea, racism has indeed hurt me

 

[Blackace]

Being half black and half white... I have been hurt by racism too many times to really count. [corny but true feelings]But until I was about 10 or 11 I had no concept of race and can look back on those days as hope that one day the whole world can think like that!![/corny but true feelings]

 

[geogaddi]

There is only 1 race = the human race

*group hug everyone!*

 

[galeninjapan]

Are you considering reverse racism? Like the top 10% rule in texas.

 

[miyuru]

RaymondCarver:

Thanks a lot for the advice, it means a lot to me. I won't forget what you told me, it's very important and true. I'll keep it in mind from now on.

miyuru, your threads do tend to have an ex-gf theme quite often. Im not saying her parents werent outta line, its just make sure you know who your mad at and why.

No worries man, I told her multiple times that I was holding nothing against her. Good story by the way, I hope you're feeling cool about it now.

 

[enjoy bell woods]

Are you considering reverse racism? Like the top 10% rule in texas.

Everyone qualifies for that.

 

[Matlock]

I was falsely accused of racism for karaoke.

 

[galeninjapan]

Everyone qualifies for that.

True but it is meant to help out minorites. There was an article in the houston chronicle of a minority student who earned like a 150 on his GPA and was in the top 10% cause he went to some shitty inner-city school. Well he ended up getting a full ride to UT, but failed many of his classes his first year.