Potential roommate situation brewing

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Veelk

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So, I'm currently on vacation. I thought I left my alarm off when I left, but apparently not. It's very loud and very annoying. It works for me since I'm a heavy sleeper, but the walls are thin and it'd drive anyone crazy if it just went on... And I left it on to go off at 6 am.

This roommate and I have already not really taken a huge liking to each other, despite my best efforts to, and he seems to have stopped wanting to become friends (as opposed to when I moved in, when he was much friendlier). Problem is we don't have too much in common and I'm just flat out not good at talking about nothing like some people are. I've gotten along better with my other roommates, but only became more distant with him.

I apologized, told him to go to maintenance to let them in and to just unplug the stupid thing to make sure it's dead, but it's clear he's not happy about it.

I'm not really sure how to approach this one. I don't think anything is going to be a problem yet, but I don't like that a bad relationship is brewing with the person I'm living with. Any way to fix it or do I just do nothing until it becomes an actual thing?
 
Grab a gift for each of your roommates while you're on vacation. Then take them to lunch (or dinner if you can afford it) when you're back. Also start trying to do things all of you can enjoy. Go to the cinemas every so often. Everybody likes movies.
 
Does this roommate get along well with the others?

NoblesseOblige said:
Grab a gift for each of your roommates while you're on vacation. Then take them to lunch (or dinner if you can afford it) when you're back. Also start trying to do things all of you can enjoy. Go to the cinemas every so often. Everybody likes movies.
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I like this advice. But if the roommate remains distant after that then just let him be.
 
Buy them each a bottle of local booze from wherever you're vacationing as an apology, get drunk with them, become friends.

Also, that alarm might get annoying in general if it's loud, even if you manage to turn it off quickly in the morning. I'd look into something else.
 
Veelk said:
So, I'm currently on vacation. I thought I left my alarm off when I left, but apparently not. It's very loud and very annoying. It works for me since I'm a heavy sleeper, but the walls are thin and it'd drive anyone crazy if it just went on... And I left it on to go off at 6 am.

This roommate and I have already not really taken a huge liking to each other, despite my best efforts to, and he seems to have stopped wanting to become friends (as opposed to when I moved in, when he was much friendlier). Problem is we don't have too much in common and I'm just flat out not good at talking about nothing like some people are. I've gotten along better with my other roommates, but only became more distant with him.

I apologized, told him to go to maintenance to let them in and to just unplug the stupid thing to make sure it's dead, but it's clear he's not happy about it.

I'm not really sure how to approach this one. I don't think anything is going to be a problem yet, but I don't like that a bad relationship is brewing with the person I'm living with. Any way to fix it or do I just do nothing until it becomes an actual thing?
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You made a mistake, and if you've gone on holiday no doubt you had many things to think about leaving for that vacation.

But it should be you calling maintenance to ask them to go into the room to unplug the alarm clock, not him.
 
Veritigo_X said:
Buy them each a bottle of local booze from wherever you're vacationing as an apology, get drunk with them, become friends.

Also, that alarm might get annoying in general if it's loud, even if you manage to turn it off quickly in the morning. I'd look into something else.
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I haven't received an a complaint about it when I was there, but I'll make sure it's okay by them.

Getting them booze might be the best. It justifies me going in the first place.
 
Yeah it's annoying and obviously worth an apology but a fucking dinner because of an alarm going off for one morning?? Give me a break. This roommate cannot be that soft that he's going to let this become an issue, right? If he is, find a new roommate.
 
Ya it sucks the alarm went off, but I really don't see you having to go off and buy something to make up for it. Just saying sorry about that should be enough.
 
Dan27 said:
You made a mistake, and if you've gone on holiday no doubt you had many things to think about leaving for that vacation.

But it should be you calling maintenance to ask them to go into the room to unplug the alarm clock, not him.
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I'm overseas. The long distance would be killer.
 
PlayALLtheGames said:
Yeah it's annoying and obviously worth an apology but a fucking dinner because of an alarm going off for one morning?? Give me a break. This roommate cannot be that soft that he's going to let this become an issue, right? If he is, find a new roommate.
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Edwardo said:
Ya it sucks the alarm went off, but I really don't see you having to go off and buy something to make up for it. Just saying sorry about that should be enough.
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There's more going on that just an alarm going off. OP expressed concern about things becoming more distant than they already are with their roommate. Treating them to lunch not only serves as an "I'm sorry" but also an "I''d like to hang out and maybe get to know one another better." which is fine, especially if you're going to be living with them.
 
Man I'd have a hard time living with that alarm too...

I'm the opposite of your house mate. I'm standoffish at first, but become friendlier over time.

Here's my advice: take care of the alarm pronto, find a better way of getting up in the morning*, and do something cool for your roommate.


*you may need to go to bed earlier. I had a girlfriend who was like this once and it was because she stayed up too late. As soon as she adjusted that it wasn't a problem.
 
Veelk said:
I'm overseas. The long distance would be killer.
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Eh, suck it up. It was your fault you forgot to turn the alarm off, so take responsibility and set things right. Extreme example, but what if one of your roommates had something flooding into your room while they were on vacation, and then told you to handle it for them?
 
NoblesseOblige said:
There's more going on that just an alarm going off. OP expressed concern about things becoming more distant than they already are with their roommate. Treating them to lunch not only serves as an "I'm sorry" but also an "I''d like to hang out and maybe get to know one another better." which is fine, especially if you're going to be living with them.
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Ya that does makes sense then. I wouldn't treat it as an apology thing though, but just as a chance to hang out.
 
n64coder said:
Buy one of those calling cards if you have to.
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It's 8 in the morning here. I'd have to get up, get dressed, drive out, bought one of those cards (if anything is open at this time of day), and call the maintenance office. In that time, they can just call it and get it done way faster.
 
OP it's your responsibility to call maintenance even if you are overseas. You may actually have to do it since they may not go in there without your authorization.
 
MushroomSamba said:
Eh, suck it up. It was your fault you forgot to turn the alarm off, so take responsibility and set things right. Extreme example, but what if one of your roommates had something flooding into your room while they were on vacation, and then told you to handle it for them?
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Yes? The priority would be for the thing not to flood my room, not some principle of who should take the blame. I wouldn't be happy about it, but I'd want the problem fixed before anything else.
 
OP, does your apartment have a breaker with switches to individual rooms? You could just have them flip a switch to deactivate the power to your room. That's what I would have done if I was your roommate woken by your alarm.
 
Veelk said:
It's 8 in the morning here. I'd have to get up, get dressed, drive out, bought one of those cards (if anything is open at this time of day), and call the maintenance office. In that time, they can just call it and get it done way faster.
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This is entirely your responsibility, not theirs.

Also, there's that whole liability thing. If I was in their situation I would not call maintenance myself, but have you call in. That way there's no chance of a "you went into my room without permission" scenario that some people try to pull despite having given permission in a personal conversation.
 
Veelk said:
It's 8 in the morning here. I'd have to get up, get dressed, drive out, bought one of those cards (if anything is open at this time of day), and call the maintenance office. In that time, they can just call it and get it done way faster.
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You said yourself that you don't want a bad relationship with the person you're living with.

If you really meant that, you would resolve the issue by whatever means necessary.
 
Veelk said:
Yes? The priority would be for the thing not to flood my room, not some principle of who should take the blame. I wouldn't be happy about it, but I'd want the problem fixed before anything else.
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Fine, then just continue whining then. I'm sure that'll solve problems pretty quickly, too.
 
Veelk said:
It's 8 in the morning here. I'd have to get up, get dressed, drive out, bought one of those cards (if anything is open at this time of day), and call the maintenance office. In that time, they can just call it and get it done way faster.
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It's one call. It's not going to kill you.
Hell. Use Skype even. Would cost less than a dollar.
 
Veelk said:
It's 8 in the morning here. I'd have to get up, get dressed, drive out, bought one of those cards (if anything is open at this time of day), and call the maintenance office. In that time, they can just call it and get it done way faster.
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In other words you really don't give a shit and hope that your roommates handle your mistakes and don't hate you for being that guy that goes on vacation and leaves an alarm in a locked room onon.
 
Veelk said:
It's 8 in the morning here. I'd have to get up, get dressed, drive out, bought one of those cards (if anything is open at this time of day), and call the maintenance office. In that time, they can just call it and get it done way faster.
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And you wonder why your roommate hasn't taken a liking to you? Get your god damn alarm turned off.
 
Veelk said:
It's 8 in the morning here. I'd have to get up, get dressed, drive out, bought one of those cards (if anything is open at this time of day), and call the maintenance office. In that time, they can just call it and get it done way faster.
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You should probably just lay in bed while browsing GAF. If it really bothers your roommate he will call maintenance himself.

/s

Come on.
 
Dan27 said:
You said yourself that you don't want a bad relationship with the person you're living with.

If you really meant that, you would resolve the issue by whatever means necessary.
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farisr said:
This is entirely your responsibility, not theirs.

Also, there's that whole liability thing. If I was in their situation I would not call maintenance myself, but have you call in. That way there's no chance of a "you went into my room without permission" scenario that some people try to pull despite having given permission in a personal conversation.
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dallow_bg said:
It's one call. It's not going to kill you.
Hell. Use Skype even. Would cost less than a dollar.
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Cappa said:
In other words you really don't give a shit and hope that your roommates handle your mistakes and don't hate you for being that guy that goes on vacation and leaves an alarm in a locked room onon.
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No, I mean, I just haven't thought of it because them calling in maintenance was the most efficient way for everyone involved. My calling them would be no faster than them doing it, and would cost less. I hadn't thought about the possibility of my turning it into a other problems by my backtracking on my permission though. But look, If they had asked me to do it, I would, but he didn't suggest anything like that and I just thought this was easiest. In any case, it was almost 2 hours ago as of now, so they probably took care of it anyway.

Definitely buying them lunch afterwards then...
 
My opinion is, if you have to lock your room when you go on vacation, you probably don't have a great roommate situation.

My most recent roommate and I kind of drifted apart after the first six months or so. He's a totally decent guy, we're just not really into the same stuff, and there were some living compatibility issues that didn't arise until the first lease was nearly over. But we had a great apartment, and these issues were fairly minor overall, so we re-signed and lived together for another year. It helped that we both have girlfriends, so honestly, I didn't even see him much during the last six months we lived together. We're on friendly terms, but we're not friends. Which is fine for a roommate, if you ask me. All I ask of someone I live with (who isn't a friend/significant other) is that I can easily ignore them.

If you think your roommate(s) want the same situation, where they just kinda want to ignore you while keeping a civil, pleasant relationship, then you should respect that. Not everyone wants to hang out with their roommate all the time, or even ever. But if you think there needs to be some relationship repair (sounds like there might, considering the situation you laid out), then I'd agree with others who've recommended buying them a bottle of booze or buying them dinner. Just as a, "Hey, I know this was super annoying, and I wanna make it up to you guys." Personally, if I was in their situation, I'd prefer the booze. Then they can decide if they want to make it a group experience, or just enjoy it on their own. It's a much less pushy gift.

Don't just let it fester. That guarantees you'll be moving out once the lease is over.
 
You left an annoying alarm on in a locked room and asked your roommate to handle it. The relationship didn't possibly deteriorate because you've been this insensitive about other things?
 
could they have just thrown the breaker to the power to kill the alarm? Sure its overkill, but it doesnt hurt anything and the result in the end is what they wanted, the alarm off.
 
Ask what type of food/beer he likes. Get him that as a surprise. Tell him you're really sorry and promise it won't happen again. See if you have something in common and start conversation from there.


Worst comes to worst if becoming friends/closer is out then at the least be a good roommate.
 
battousai11 said:
I had a roommate who did this; he would sleep over at his gf's place and he set it for 5AM, but it would just keep on going.
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Same was super annoying but I would just unplug it and he eventually got the picture.

He'd leave for work like an hour after me but his alarm would wake me up an hour earlier than I liked to get up and his dumb ass would sleep right through it when I could hear it down the hall.
 
Pai Pai Master said:
Same was super annoying but I would just unplug it and he eventually got the picture.

He'd leave for work like an hour after me but his alarm would wake me up an hour earlier than I liked to get up and his dumb ass would sleep right through it when I could hear it down the hall.
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Oh man, I had a,college roommate who would hit snooze no shit 6-10 times every morning, in a shared room. It was awful.
 
outunderthestars said:
Oh man, I had a,college roommate who would hit snooze no shit 6-10 times every morning, in a shared room. It was awful.
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There was a kid my freshman year of college who had one of those old style bell alarm clocks and still couldn't get his ass up for class. I shit you not, I could hear that from 6 rooms down and it would actually wake me up from there. When I got up to go to the class for the next time block, he would come out of his dorm (with the alarm still blaring), "ugh, I can't believe I missed class again." No one liked him and he ended up failing out of school.
 
I thought I left my alarm off when I left, but apparently not.
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Yeah that's a huge fucking deal so to be careless about it and react so dismissively I wouldn't be surprised if he trashed your room the moment he got access to it.
 
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