superdeluxe
Member
^^^^^
This and time to start setting appointments with a OBGYN. Ultrasound at around 11 weeks for anatomy check.
-
Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!
Pregnancy Scares
- Thread starter egruntz
- Start date
- Status
^^^^^
This and time to start setting appointments with a OBGYN. Ultrasound at around 11 weeks for anatomy check.
JeTmAn81
Member
I was ambivalent about having kids but I now regard having my 4 month old daughter as probably the best decision I ever made. Your baby will be yours, not some random stranger's. It makes all the difference. It's not convenient for your life right now but there are definite advantages to being a younger parent. Don't be afraid. You can do it.
DrGonzo615
Banned
Thats what got you into trouble in the first place
Man up if you love your girl. Many pregnancies are not planned and it is very overwhelming at first. Unless there is something wrong medically with someone in the relationship, many couples dont plot out when they are going to have a kid exactly. You are a little young to have your first kid, but many successful people have faced the same scenario and made it work.The two of you can do it, if you are committed to one another and your child. It is going to be the hardest thing you have done in your life, but also the most rewarding in almost every case. Stop fighting and wrap your head around the fact you are going to be a father and you are going to have to sacrifice and protect your kid the best you can.
Eye for an Eye
Member
11 weeks is an NT Scan. It measures the nuchal fold at the back of the next. An increase in fluid can indicate problems. It's usually in conjunction with a blood screening test. Most OB's will not make an appointment until at least 8 weeks, and sometimes closer to 10 weeks. 20 weeks is the anatomy scan that checks development. She's only maybe 5 weeks at this point, so it's still a month away before the first appointment.
If you don't have insurance, or minimal coverage, she can apply for medicaid. All states have a pregnancy related plan that takes affect nearly immediately. It covers all OB related care that she might need.
She needs to come to her own decision about abortion. You cannot force her to do it. If she doesn't do it for herself, then it's going to weigh on her heavily forever. Yes it is possible to have an abortion and not regret it, but it's because the woman believes it's the best decision.
Final bit of advice... Go to planned parenthood for a pregnancy test. You'll need a doctor's confirmation letter of pregnancy if she signs up for Medicaid, and PP can provide that. That way you know for sure she's pregnant. They'll also be able to help guide her in the right direction of what to do next.
butzopower
proud of his butz
How long have you and your GF been together? How did you meet?
All y'all saying man up, what do you even mean? OP putting sound clips of his girl on GAF, you really think a kid gonna come up good where OP at in his life?
All y'all saying man up, what do you even mean? OP putting sound clips of his girl on GAF, you really think a kid gonna come up good where OP at in his life?
Perfect opportunity to grow up.
superdeluxe
Member
Take care of his responsibilities as best as he can. Don't be a dead beat. etc etc.
butzopower
proud of his butz
Personal growth at the risk of a fucked child. I just don't buy this growing up bullshit. All the parents I know I wouldn't classify as "grown up", but financially and physically stable to raise a kid. OP and his GF don't sound close to neither. Doesn't matter if "it can be done", that kid still gets fucked, and all y'all encouraging it.
Coffee Dog
Banned
Currently in the midst of one (condom broke). She took the morning after pill though, so my fears are pretty much dissuaded.
Yeah, that's what's funny about the girl. You can't just pick & choose.
Kid's coming whether he likes it or not. His options are to man up or not. The latter is better for the kid.
Rafa=FedKilla
Banned
Yep. Fake, fake, fake.
KnockOneOff
Banned
Ah man, well forget all that abortion stuff, money worries etc etc.
Sorry to say this mate but it takes 2 to tango mate
If this goes go down the route of the baby been born, sorry man but you need to step up to the plate and make this work the best you can.
you will find your way with money etc and this could be the start of something you will truely enjoy.
Sorry man but looks like childhood for you is now gone and adulthood starts today
CitizenCope
Member
No she wasn't against it but she did have a little excitement of a possible baby as well as being upset with the situation. There was no yelling and screaming. I told her how I felt and she took a day to make her decision.
I thought so many years later this may be affecting her but she gave a sincere "Hell no that would have been a bad idea!". It's nothing either of us took lightly but it was the decision we made.
thebaroness
Member
I'm going to post here from the female perspective.
Pregnancy scares are way, WAY scarier when it's your body involved. You think you're scared? How do you think it feels to be the one who has to carry it and push it out! She's way more terrified than you right now. If you love her, you have to be supportive. I know that sounds trite, but you have to be able to deal with the emotional mess she will become. Mood swings are going to get even worse. Shoulda/and Woulda fights are out the window now. The damage is done and you both have to figure out what to do.
The fact that she picks and chooses her religious beliefs rubs me the wrong way, but you said you loved this woman so obviously you can accept this flaw of hers. You cannot in any way tell her what to do with her body. She is choosing to go through with it, you have to respect that. I'd say look at your options together, and figure out how to balance a child and school.
If she is completely against adoption, then do whatever it takes to stay in school. Dropping out now would only lead to resenting the child which isn't fair. Do you both have financial support from your families? Do you have family members that can watch the kid while you both are in class? You're going to need a lot of baby food, diapers, and clothes.
Also, make sure your girlfriend is aware of the biology of pregnancy. Sure, we all know it lasts 9 months and women get moody. But make sure she's aware of all the changes her body will go through. Make her read A LOT of pregnancy blogs to know what other women experience. Her breasts will swell, hurt, and leak milk, her feet will swell, her back will ache. She'll go from raging horny to depressed multiple times in a day. The first trimester is a hell of vomiting, cramps, and crippling fatigue. Just make sure she knows what she's getting into.
I will however say 6,000 mg of vitamin C a day does a body good.
Pregnancy scares are way, WAY scarier when it's your body involved. You think you're scared? How do you think it feels to be the one who has to carry it and push it out! She's way more terrified than you right now. If you love her, you have to be supportive. I know that sounds trite, but you have to be able to deal with the emotional mess she will become. Mood swings are going to get even worse. Shoulda/and Woulda fights are out the window now. The damage is done and you both have to figure out what to do.
The fact that she picks and chooses her religious beliefs rubs me the wrong way, but you said you loved this woman so obviously you can accept this flaw of hers. You cannot in any way tell her what to do with her body. She is choosing to go through with it, you have to respect that. I'd say look at your options together, and figure out how to balance a child and school.
If she is completely against adoption, then do whatever it takes to stay in school. Dropping out now would only lead to resenting the child which isn't fair. Do you both have financial support from your families? Do you have family members that can watch the kid while you both are in class? You're going to need a lot of baby food, diapers, and clothes.
Also, make sure your girlfriend is aware of the biology of pregnancy. Sure, we all know it lasts 9 months and women get moody. But make sure she's aware of all the changes her body will go through. Make her read A LOT of pregnancy blogs to know what other women experience. Her breasts will swell, hurt, and leak milk, her feet will swell, her back will ache. She'll go from raging horny to depressed multiple times in a day. The first trimester is a hell of vomiting, cramps, and crippling fatigue. Just make sure she knows what she's getting into.
I will however say 6,000 mg of vitamin C a day does a body good.
Icefire1424
Member
Seconding this. Of the "options" he mentioned, B1 is absolutely the right course of action.
egruntz, I know it's a lot to take in right now, but take solace in that the two of you do have family close by. I believe you mentioned she still lives with her parents (and I'm not sure what your situation is currently), but that proximity is a good thing, especially now.
Already said, but now that the pregnancy is confirmed, it is time to tell both set of parents. It will be difficult, but they are there to support you, and their assistance will be vital in the coming months (and years). They will be able to help by providing support for the two of you (and baby), and may be able to assist with child care as both of you complete school - which should still be a priority.
Case in point - one of my wife's friends growing up had a child her senior year of high school when she was 17. It was a difficult situation, but one she (and the father) were able to get through together. They told their parents early on, and although they were upset at first, they supported the decision to keep the child. Because the new parents were very young themselves, the grandparents were instrumental in helping raise the little one. After giving birth, the mother was able to go back and complete her schooling, and later enrolled for classes at a community college part time. Point is, they made it work despite a rather difficult situation. Just as you will.
Regarding being a parent, I don't think anyone is truly ever prepared for it. As a new father of a 10 month old daughter, I think I went though every range of emotion possible when I found out my wife was pregnant. I've had moments where I seriously questioned whether or not we made the right decision, if I was capable of being a father...all of that. As awful as it sounds, even after she got here I had those moments where I questioned if it was still the right decision. There are times that it will be difficult. You will be sleep deprived, you will lose the freedom of doing whatever you want, whenever you want. You will feel alienated from your child, and your significant other. You will be stressed, confused, frustrated...but you will also feel emotion you have never experienced before. I've been told countless times before my daughter arrived how she will "completely change my life", and how being a father will be "the greatest joy I could imagine" - and at first, I really had trouble believing that. All I knew is that I was now responsible for this little tiny thing that was completely dependent on me and my wife to survive, and at first I wasn't sure I was capable of that. But I adapted. I never changed a diaper before my daughter arrived, but I learned. I know how to feed her a bottle, and bather her, and comfort her when she's upset. Yes, it's a lot of work, and it is frustrating at times, but she's completely won me over. The thing is, it gets easier over time. You begin to establish routines. She starts sleeping regularly, you both get better at taking care of her...it feels less like a burden, and those times become something you increasingly look forward to. A year ago I looked forward to getting out of work to relaxing at home and firing up the PC or PS4 - I was perfectly content with that. The truth is, I now feel like I'm living for someone else. That moment I walk in the door to hear "dada!" followed by little one waving her arms wanting to be picked up makes up for all of it. And I still get to play my PS4 after her bedtime (and spend time with the wife, of course).
Anyways, this went on way longer than I intended, but the point is that you can, and will get through this. It sounds like you're already very serious with this girl - supporting her through this will only strengthen that and bring you two closer together. Having a child is life changing, yes, but despite the challenges, it is absolutely worth it. Just take advantages of the opportunities available to you - namely, the grandparents. Get them involved early on.
Congrats OP.
Edit: The lady above me clearly knows her stuff. Classes are a good thing. We took child birthing and "Parenting 101" classes offered by a local hospital. Can't recommend them enough - really sets expectations for everything that is coming.
It's time to man up. If you weren't ready to be a father you shouldn't be having sex.
butzopower
proud of his butz
Get this shit out of here.
its a possible consequence of sex. not that the point of view was correct.
Juke Joint Jezebel
Member
Fixed that for you.
Brotha, you either need to step up to the plate or bail out. Abortion and adoption don't seem to be on the table, as it's her body and her choice. You need to accept your current reality and make some tough decisions.
Yes, please accept this fact in your life. Accept and understand that it is going to happen, full stop. and the next time you talk to her, the FIRST thing you should ask her is what brand of prenatal vitamins she would prefer. Because if you love her, that little question will signal that you are firmly with her through whatever she's dealing with, plus prenatal vitamins will help increase the chances of having a healthy baby.
Also have to agree with falcs here.
Also have to agree with falcs here.
As someone who's been through this (around the same age) your best option is to abort. Luckily for you, it's her decision. You either have a rational discussion about it and decide to visit a clinic, or you carry it to term and deal with a lifetime of regret and extra drama on top of your typical work/school stress.
Adoption is such a lame cop-out, I don't really care who it offends. Religious people care about babies up until they're born. If you're choosing between adoption and abortion, just realize that you're very likely creating a situation for your child that is impossible for them to advance from. If my parents had given me up for adoption, I'd probably hunt them down.
It's an unpopular opinion, but if you aren't ready, you'd better hope you can convince your (seemingly immature) girlfriend to end it quickly. It may be her choice, but you're in this together. You should have a say.
For the record, if I had a kid with my girlfriend, our lives would have been ruined. I can't imagine where we'd be right now, ~4 years later. Instead, we got over that hump and improved our lives tenfold; now we're engaged and talking about kids the right way.
No child wants to be an accident, and none of them want to be thrown away to a fucking orphanage.
this ended up longer and sappier than planned, so here's a funny picture
Adoption is such a lame cop-out, I don't really care who it offends. Religious people care about babies up until they're born. If you're choosing between adoption and abortion, just realize that you're very likely creating a situation for your child that is impossible for them to advance from. If my parents had given me up for adoption, I'd probably hunt them down.
It's an unpopular opinion, but if you aren't ready, you'd better hope you can convince your (seemingly immature) girlfriend to end it quickly. It may be her choice, but you're in this together. You should have a say.
For the record, if I had a kid with my girlfriend, our lives would have been ruined. I can't imagine where we'd be right now, ~4 years later. Instead, we got over that hump and improved our lives tenfold; now we're engaged and talking about kids the right way.
No child wants to be an accident, and none of them want to be thrown away to a fucking orphanage.
this ended up longer and sappier than planned, so here's a funny picture
SpookyFries
Member
Was in the same boat two weeks ago. Pleased to say that everything is a-ok!
People realise that even with contraceptives, that the chances of getting pregnant can still occur, right? You can't put the entire blame on her, if you didnt want it to happen you have to put your share of responsability no matter what. Which is wrapping it up or abstain from sex
Now that it's happening, it really is terrible, especially at a time like this. But I want to reming some people that when you learn you have a life inside of you, it may trow away all you had plan. Why? Because, knowing theirs a little you inside makes you want to care for it. Its not 'oh well, lets trow it away' as it is for everyone thinks it is. For some its easier said than done.
Maybe she will change her mind, maybe not. Deal with it as best as you can.
Now that it's happening, it really is terrible, especially at a time like this. But I want to reming some people that when you learn you have a life inside of you, it may trow away all you had plan. Why? Because, knowing theirs a little you inside makes you want to care for it. Its not 'oh well, lets trow it away' as it is for everyone thinks it is. For some its easier said than done.
Maybe she will change her mind, maybe not. Deal with it as best as you can.
I'll just chime in that I have heard a lot of good stuff about Planned Parenthood and that they are not just an abortion clinic, but offers a lot of chekc ups and services during the pregnancy as well.
Depending on what state you are in (heavy anti abortion stance or not) you should definitely go there with your girlfriend as sometimes there can be pro lifers hassling any woman going to the clinic.
Also for later if your girlfriend has the baby, they grow fast and there is no shame in getting second hand cloths and equipment. Do you have any relatives with young kids? You can ask them if they can save cloths and such for you.
Lastly, if you are serious that you want to marry this girl one day you need to be there for her in thick and thin now. If you walk out the chances of achieving this goal is going to be pretty slim.
Best of luck to you both.
lol i lost it
Messofanego
Banned
Congrats on the baby? Crazy how innocuous it all started from a small sex question to now this.
It really all started with a $1,000 necklace.
terrisus
Member
And a "Thank you."
But, yeah, pretty much started with the necklace.
I guess OP should've read the fine print on his purchase before agreeing to it.
But it's true.
Do you have any idea how many men around this country (let alone around the world) have gotten screwed over in which they're being forced by the states, etc. to pay child support for the next 18 or so years due to how they're being lied to about their children being biologically theirs? A lot.
lol wtf
Flying Toaster
Member
Should have pulled out and gave her a pearl necklace... Oh well.
OP... Man up and be a dad. If you really love this girl like you say you do then you need to do everything in your power to support her and yourself while making sure you graduate.
Life comes to people fast sometimes...
terrisus
Member
Oh please, this sounds like some shitty MRA logic. Beware guys! Most women are trying to pull one over on you!!! Gimme a break.
How many women you know personally who would do this? And how many men would you say are supporting children who may not be theirs?
While not all women are like that, I'm just saying, it's best to be cautious about it, as not all of them are trustworthy.
terrisus
Member
You could also get hit by a stray bullet walking out your door.
Can't be too careful!
Although staying in the house means you're trapped if a meteor hits.
Pick your poison.
biggersmaller
Banned
Don't marry her. Get a paternity test IMMEDIATLY after the birth. Do not sign anything until that point. It's important to know that the law protects the mother and the baby first. Meaning, the child could be eligible to receive benefits from you even if it's determined years later you are NOT the biological father.
If the baby is yours, love and support that child with all your heart and time - but you getting into a loveless relationship will only hurt the child.
I've dated a crazy woman who was bent on getting pregnant in high school and a buddy who fell into the trap in his mid-20- women like this can be very manipulative.
If the baby is yours, love and support that child with all your heart and time - but you getting into a loveless relationship will only hurt the child.
I've dated a crazy woman who was bent on getting pregnant in high school and a buddy who fell into the trap in his mid-20- women like this can be very manipulative.
- Status
Similar threads
- Poll