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[Soriku]

http://www.*****************/news/a...-girl-causing-Satan-possess-mobile-phone.html

A Polish priest who carried out an exorcism on a teenage girl now claims he is being contacted by Satan - via text message.

Father Marian Rajchel from Jaroslaw, south-eastern Poland, said he started receiving the hate messages after failing to drive the devil out of her soul.

Now he believes that the demon is using the possessed teenager to attack him through a mobile phone.

Father Rajchel claims that the devil and his followers were not shy about using modern technology but that in many cases their actions were not identified as being the work of evil.

One of the text messages, the Austrian Times reported, read: 'She will not come out of this hell. She’s mine. Anyone who prays for her will die.'

He replied, and was then sent another message in return: 'Shut up, preacher. You cannot save yourself. Idiot. You pathetic old preacher.'

He said: 'Clearly this young girl has been possessed, and needs further help.'

It's nice to know that Satan is keeping up with the times, but I'm surprised he gets a signal.

 

[Delta Assault]

Demojis, amirite?

 

[Blastoise]

Probably drank too much Jesus blood.

Demojis, amirite?

Perfect.

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNgxyL5zEAk

 

[Dryk]

Is this what those dick pics from the other day were about?

 

[Amalthea]

Devil: How r u? It's so hot down here lol. 👿



Devil: pls respond

 

[The Smoking Bun]

That's kind of cool actually. Nice to know all these old ass entities are tech savvy
I wonder if Buddha is on Facebook. Does that gel with the teachings of enlightenment?

 

[plasmawave]

Probably Persona.

 

[SJRB]

"420 blaze it"

 

[lazybones18]

Maybe Satan wants to be in him

Spoiler

ToonamiGAF knows what I'm talking about lol

 

[saunderez]

Probably just the girl the exorcism was performed on. I'd be pissed if someone performed an exorcism on me too, I'd definitely fuck with the priest if I could.

 

[blame space]

😈😈😈

 

[Charles Foster Kane]

lol

I wonder what company the devil uses.

 

[LabouredSubterfuge]

'Shut up, preacher. You cannot save yourself. Idiot. You pathetic old preacher.'

 

[smurfx]

devil becoming tech savvy. next thing you know he will start harassing the priest on twitter.

 

[Soriku]

That's kind of cool actually. Nice to know all these old ass entities are tech savvy
I wonder if Buddha is on Facebook. Does that gel with the teachings of enlightenment?

At this point, if Satan is tech savvy, there's no excuse that your grandma shouldn't be.

 

[IsntChrisL]

Gotta study just keep with the changing times
Hundred one Dalmatians on your CD roms

 

[BPoole]

Does the Devil use iOS or Android? This is important

 

[devilhawk]

I've been receiving text messages from the Devil after performing a dumping.

 

[PaulExcellent]

I wonder what Satan's Spotify account is like

 

[diggmcbadass]

I wonder what Satan's Spotify account is like

A shitton better than god's

 

[Rapstah]

UNKNOWN NUMBER: 09:16
you're sole wil burn in hel

UNKNOWN NUMBER: 09:17
soul*

 

[Dagobert Duck]

UNKNOWN NUMBER: 09:16
you're sole wil burn in hel

UNKNOWN NUMBER: 09:17
soul*

xx xxx xxxx666: 10:44
Hey this is Satan, I tried to reach you via call, just got out of a steamy lava shower and was thinking talking to you concerning the offer for your soul...Just get back to me please. xoxo Satan

 

[pants]

lower down on that page

perfect.

 

[marvelharvey]

Do a back trace!

 

[EulaCapra]

Satan is a weak ass fool compared to the wrath of teenage girls on their mobile.

Why perform an exorcism when you cut just cut off her unlimited messaging?

 

[Dagobert Duck]

I wonder what Satan's Spotify account is like

Just Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift. You decide if thats good or bad...

 

[Finaika]

UNKNOWN NUMBER: 09:16
you're sole wil burn in hel

UNKNOWN NUMBER: 09:17
soul*

pls respond

 

[Vermillion]

Does the Devil use iOS or Android? This is important

Android. He doesn't fuck with walled gardens.

 

[DyslexicAlucard]

Android. He doesn't fuck with walled gardens.

OMFG, Post of the Year right here.

 

[Dagobert Duck]

Android. He doesn't fuck with walled gardens.

666/666 :-D

Post of the thread...

 

[Valravn]

Does Satan use Whatsapp or Telegram?

 

[Blood Diamonds]

satan: lol what are u wearing

satan: can i see ur nudes

satan: i know u saw this dont ignore me

satan: pls respond

 

[Dagobert Duck]

Does Satan use Whatsapp or Telegram?

Facebook messenger

 

[Vagabundo]

I believe Satan probably invented mobile technology.

 

[Servizio]

u up

 

[QuicheFontaine]

He replied, and was then sent another message in return:

I wonder what the reply was??

'Shut up, preacher. You cannot save yourself. Idiot. You pathetic old preacher.'

Satan's fucking weak man

 

[Vagabundo]

I wonder what the reply was??

The power of Christ compels thee.

 

[QuicheFontaine]

The power of Christ compels thee.

Satan: no u

 

[Froli]

Can't believe at this present age, we have stories running around like this. Though it's understandable when it connected to mental health disorders.

 

[_Ryo_]

This is scary.

Not because a fictional evil being (that killed ~10 people in the bible, [with Gods permission]!) while another fictional being killed millions) is texting a priest but because because the priest will believe the girl still needs to be exorcised and might maybe try to drive the demons out of her. I mean, it could only be a matter of time until this gets violent, with how fanatical some people are...

 

[P44]

I wonder what Satan's Spotify account is like

It would be amazing, I wish I could follow on spotify just for the song reccomendations. I wonder if he's into stoner metal.

 

[Wind's Howling]

Religion can be horrifying if it comes in touch with the mentally unstable one's.

 

[Dagobert Duck]

I believe Satan probably invented mobile technology.

He just invented bad coverage...

 

[Zombine]

"Yur mom sux c0x n hell. Lolz"

 

[Rapstah]

"Yur mom sux c0x n hell. Lolz"

UNKNOWN NUMBER: 10:46
not only does you're mum suck cocks in hel

UNKNOWN NUMBER: 10:47
its my cocks

UNKNOWN NUMBER: 10:48
lol just kiddin how do u get internet on you're phone ??

 

[Funky Papa]

Not even WhatsApp? Satán pls.

 

[AdventureMike]

I wonder what carrier Satan is on.

 

[geomon]

 

[Izuna]

Reminds me of the exorcism jokes from Orange is the New Black