Rotten Watch: Resident Evil Apocalypse - Its got zombie hookers folks!!

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Baron Aloha

A Shining Example
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/resident_evil_apocalypse/?show=all

Reviews are just starting to come in. 0% Fresh (or 100% Rotten) so far.

"As video game movies go, this one contains less plot and character development than Pac-Man."
"If creative bankruptcy was legally actionable, this film would be in Chapter 11."
"George Romero must be spinning in his grave! "
^^^ Um, he's not dead.
We get a knife in the head, bloodless head shots, gunshot wounds and damaged creatures (Lickers and Dogs). Just don’t blink and you might see some grub. Easily the driest Zombie movie ever made and it’s an R-rating! HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN!?!
We get two tit shots from a couple of female Zombie hookers (I’m not kidding) and we also get lots of Milla flesh with her “phone dialer” nipples being the highlight.
 
"'Phone Dialer' nipples"?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

also, lol at George Romero spinning in his grave, I think that reviewer was being clever.
 
"As video game movies go, this one contains less plot and character development than Pac-Man."

Someone obviously never saw the second Mortal Kombat film.
 
FortNinety said:
"As video game movies go, this one contains less plot and character development than Pac-Man."

Someone obviously never saw the second Mortal Kombat film.

Mortal Kombat Annihilation had a cool first 10-15 minutes of movie(if you ignore the shitty lightning effects and sounds) and Subzero vs Scorpion, so even though it's still a shitfest, it fairs better than RE: Apocalypse.
 
THe diredctor actually said this, though im paraphrasing:


"I was trying my best to go for a PG-13 rating but I still got an R, oh well"
 
DeadStar said:
THe diredctor actually said this, though im paraphrasing:


"I was trying my best to go for a PG-13 rating but I still got an R, oh well"

I'm sure what he meant to say was "I was trying my best to make a good movie but I still wound up with this, oh well."
 
I will buy the DVD just for that incredible theatrical trailer, which was quite possibly the best trailer that I've ever had the priviledge of seeing in the movies.

Well, I won't really. But the trailer was awesome.
 
Some positives:

The New York Times said:
If you are in the mood for leggy heroines blasting down zombie armies with absurdly large automatic weapons, the sequel to Resident Evil gives very good value for the money.
St. Paul Pioneer Press said:
Shines in comparison to other entries in the lamest current genre of film: videogame-based movies.
Yeah, those are positives.
 
"As video game movies go, this one contains less plot and character development than Pac-Man."

This person's a fucking moron.
 
CVXFREAK said:
"As video game movies go, this one contains less plot and character development than Pac-Man."

This person's a fucking moron.
There is something called "humorous exaggeration..."
 
Did anyone see the latest ad with Jill's character (I believe) giving a voice over that sounds like a soccer mom describing her chores and shit, while showing Milla blasting zombies? God, it was pretty embarassing. It certainly was giving off a vibe that was the opposite of cool.
 
Dan said:
Did anyone see the latest ad with Jill's character (I believe) giving a voice over that sounds like a soccer mom describing her chores and shit, while showing Milla blasting zombies? God, it was pretty embarassing. It certainly was giving off a vibe that was the opposite of cool.

Yeah, it was like "DON'T YOU HATE WHEN YOU HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR TAMPON" and whatnot.
 
I actually halfway liked the original Resident Evil movie. I'll go see it. It can't be worse than The Village....
 
Saw this movie... I wanted to walk out of the thatre it was so bad... I was literally embarrased to be seen watching this POS. I liked the first movie, but WTF?!!??!? I'm not even a movie buff, and I'm easy to please, but omg this movie SUCKS. It's like trying to watch a story while drunk, and on a merry go round...I got nausea watching this movie, the way the camera cuts away at the action scenes, all you hear is sound effects coupled with strobe light esque clips of hands and feet flying everywhere.... STAY AWAY at all costs.
 
saw the movie. Prefer the first.
really bad editing in this movie. REALLY REALLY BAD EDITING
story is stupid, but because I am such a big fan of RE, I still like this movie no matter how sucks it can be. Can't hate anything RE, but honestly I enjoy the movie, but yes the movie isn't all that good.

now if only they will make RE3 WITHOUT PAUL ANDERSON!!We need to ban him from making another movie.
 
Unless Milla gets nekkid or is involved in some kind of masturbation scene, I'm staying away from this thing. Didn't really think much of the first movie anyways.
 
Alucard said:
Unless Milla gets nekkid or is involved in some kind of masturbation scene, I'm staying away from this thing. Didn't really think much of the first movie anyways.
she's naked in the movie, but only for 5 seconds.
but then again still stay away from the movie if you don't like the first. Just rent it on the DVD when it's released
 
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