Support NeoGAF

[TheTowel]

Ask her again and report back OP.

 

[FortunateSon]

You're regulars, and it is in fact possible for a woman to want to talk to people.

That's true. Not discounting that and again, I'm not hanging on this situation. As I've said, I've moved on but I just don't get the extra stuff she does when she's serving us especially after I've asked her out. I'm not stupid. She knows she gets a good tip generally from us, so how about she just does her job and be friendly but don't be so overtly flirtatious?

Things she does.

1) Recommends cheap shit on the menu to us. Usually, waitresses will try and bait you to get the expensive meals so at the end, the tip has a higher margin.

2) Chills with us outside of the bar once her shift is done. Meaning that she's not doing her job anymore. At that point, she's not a waitress but I guess, she can be seen as an acquaintance?

3) She literally would let me use her phone while she's gone for like 30 minutes.

4) I would catch her glancing at our tables every so often even when she's not our waitress.

5) She drinks with us sometimes without hesitation and the best part, it was on her!

Sorry man, there is no way this plays out like you wish it to. There's no way "sorry I have a boyfriend" is ever a positive response in any possible fashion. In every single scenario where it wouldn't be the honest truth, it means she is a liar and told you that to fuck with your head. There's nothing good to follow, mate. Them's the breaks.

I completely agree mate. And that response is always the worst kind of response. I've got it, she rejected me and as I've said multiple times, I'm over her. But I'm just confused as to why she does this after I've asked her out. If she wants a friendship or what. Not sure.

Agreed, backfires are way better in separate threads.

Agree.

 

[akira28]

Maybe she thinks you're cool, as in a friend?

 

[DMeisterJ]

OP, don't read into it. She is doing her job, and other inconsequential stuff she does doesn't change the fact that she has a boyfriend. You're building up this whole pile of evidence in your head that doesn't actually exist.

 

[Wallach]

I completely agree mate. And that response is always the worst kind of response. I've got it, she rejected me and as I've said multiple times, I'm over her. But I'm just confused as to why she does this after I've asked her out. If she wants a friendship or what. Not sure.

I'm guessing she just wants the situation to go back to how it was. She had regulars that were sociable and tipped well. In what is often a shitty job those are the kind of things that can make it a lot more tolerable.

 

[SuperAndroid17]

You sound like the clingy dude who reads too much into shit. Stop that

I suggest you go read the Dating-Age thread OP. You'll get alot of answers there.

 

[mj1108]

Looking for those tips.

"I bet you think strippers like you too."

Ding ding ding. We have a winner.

 

[Al-ibn Kermit]

I think that's it right there. Talk about taking advantage of the situation. I'm a generally very generous tipper as it is. And the fact that I'm a regular there as well.

But here's the thing, as I explained; she goes out of her way to do things for us when she serves us. And she DEFINITELY DOESN'T do the SAME to her other clients / customers that she serves.

Either start tipping less or accept the fact that she might like you in a non-sexual way.

 

[crimzonflame]

OP read between the lines, she totally wants to sleep with you. Dont forget to ask if she has any STDs such as HIV.

 

[SMT]

Sometimes I regret making threads. This is one of those times lol.

Oh well, there's always a success story for next thread.

 

[PowderedToast]

let it go, soon she won't occupy any space in your life. she'll be like a speck of dust on an asteroid belt inside the galaxy of your mind

 

[Arment]

Stalk her to confirm boyfriend status and then when you find out she lied pop out of no where and yell, "I knew it! I knew you didn't have a boyfriend! Why are you so nice? Why? Why do you buy us drinks? You love me don't you?"

It'll go just fiiiiine.

 

[Robot1X]

Either start tipping less or accept the fact that she might like you in a non-sexual way.

That's too simple of an explanation.

 

[HocusPocus]

More than likely she has a rule about not dating customers.

 

[Deleted member 8095]

Let me guess, you think strippers also want you?

 

[FortunateSon]

Maybe she thinks you're cool, as in a friend?

I'm okay with that. That's what I think it is as well. I don't want to fuck her, I had my chance with that and she said "no" so yeah.

I'm guessing she just wants the situation to go back to how it was. She had regulars that were sociable and tipped well. In what is often a shitty job those are the kind of things that can make it a lot more tolerable.

And to be honest, it was. Both the times she has served us since I asked her out, has been completely normal. No tension, awkwardness; just pure fun and laughter. Really casual. I guess your point about us making it more tolerable for her to work there for the time being is honestly the truth. And I tipped well.

You sound like the clingy dude who reads too much into shit. Stop that.

I'm not that dude. Was at one point, not anymore. I move on pretty quick. I've always laughed at my own rejections etc...

Let me guess, you think strippers also want you?

I've never been to a strip club or whatever. But no, they are paid to do their job. If I go, I'd go with the mentality that these girls are just doing their job and yes, the same can be said about waitressing but it's not as simple as comparing the both. There's quite the difference. Believe it or not.

More than likely she has a rule about not dating customers.

What the fuck? OMG! How did I not think about this? This can also be it.

 

[bjb]

I'm not that dude. Was at one point, not anymore. I move on pretty quick. I've always laughed at my own rejections etc...

Your mentality surrounding this situation suggests otherwise.

 

[Rex Banner]

Things she does.

1) Recommends cheap shit on the menu to us. Usually, waitresses will try and bait you to get the expensive meals so at the end, the tip has a higher margin.

2) Chills with us outside of the bar once her shift is done. Meaning that she's not doing her job anymore. At that point, she's not a waitress but I guess, she can be seen as an acquaintance?

3) She literally would let me use her phone while she's gone for like 30 minutes.

4) I would catch her glancing at our tables every so often even when she's not our waitress.

5) She drinks with us sometimes without hesitation and the best part, it was on her!

It's simple, girls like getting attention from guys, especially from those they know like them. As long as it hasn't gotten awkward (which it hasn't in your case) they will often continue the flirtatious banter/touching/glances well after a friend-zone has already been established. And in your case the chick also happens to be a waitress who is used to getting nice tips from you.

Don't break your head over this, if the friend-zone thing isn't bothering you then don't put any more thought into it.

 

[Blackace]

So a waitress at a sports bar smiled at the OP so he took a shot and was rejected, but wonders why she continues to give him the "vibe"?

lol

 

[this guy]

Good job on trying at least. If it's not awkward, then you pretty much haven't lost out at all. You've just gained experience.

Although she probably has just been baiting you for tips. Lesson learned brah.

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

She was just doing her job.

 

[Poimandres]

Funny that many people are echoing the "she just wants tips" sentiment when things like buying him/his friends drinks and hanging out outside of work hours pretty much fly in the face of that theory.

Anyway, maybe she's just friendly/flirty by nature. Maybe she likes you/one of your friends but does have a boyfriend. Maybe she thinks you guys are cool and wants friends.

Don't read into her motivations. Just keep being friendly, and see if she reveals her true colours.

 

[realraptor]

"Are you always this friendly with customers or just me/us?"

 

[Alrus]

You're just projecting. She said no. At best she probably thinks you/your friends are nice and likes the company.

 

[filler]

You should have invited her to hangout with your group some place away from where she works, just as a friend though. You messed up by just asking her out.

 

[dojokun]

The fact that you're a regular explains everything you're wondering about.

 

[MThanded]

Funny that many people are echoing the "she just wants tips" sentiment when things like buying him/his friends drinks and hanging out outside of work hours pretty much fly in the face of that theory.

Anyway, maybe she's just friendly/flirty by nature. Maybe she likes you/one of your friends but does have a boyfriend. Maybe she thinks you guys are cool and wants friends.

Don't read into her motivations. Just keep being friendly, and see if she reveals her true colours.

You and the OP should start a club. She was already pretty upfront about her true feelings.

 

[FortunateSon]

So a waitress at a sports bar smiled at the OP so he took a shot and was rejected, but wonders why she continues to give him the "vibe"?

lol

Well, I went in for the kill (but not succeeding of course) not just because she smiled at me, there was a whole lot more, as I've stated numerous times in this thread. It was just frustrating. I rather just ask her and get it over with. Nothing more.

Either start tipping less

Please respond to this. Would it be bad if I started doing this? Please let me know.

 

[Blackace]

Funny that many people are echoing the "she just wants tips" sentiment when things like buying him/his friends drinks and hanging out outside of work hours pretty much fly in the face of that theory.

Anyway, maybe she's just friendly/flirty by nature. Maybe she likes you/one of your friends but does have a boyfriend. Maybe she thinks you guys are cool and wants friends.

Don't read into her motivations. Just keep being friendly, and see if she reveals her true colours.

Not true at all..

From working in clubs and bars every weekend for the last 8 years or so.. I can say waitress and bartenders give away drinks and chat it to maintain a link to their customers.. Not saying that if a girl or guy does that they are not interested in you.. but most times it is business. If a waitress of bartender gives drinks or some other perk like free snacks or whathaveyou they know they will have you for a customer as long as they work there.. and if you are a regular that is good for them...

 

[Shao Kahn Brewing a Stew]

Are you actually Butters Stotch?

Pretty much, this!!

 

[bjb]

Just keep being friendly, and see if she reveals her true colours.

I would not advise this at all. As his uncertainty and feelings continue to manifest, things will only get awkward and creepier. There's already mention of "watching her" while waiting on other tables.

She said no. Leave it be and move on.

 

[SMT]

Well, I went in for the kill (but not succeeding of course) not just because she smiled at me, there was a whole lot more, as I've stated numerous times in this thread. It was just frustrating. I rather just ask her and get it over with. Nothing more.



Please respond to this. Would it be bad if I started doing this? Please let me know.

Tip what the norm is, don't go overboard. :/

 

[apana]

Maybe you need to hang out with her outside her job. Ask her if she likes cherry blossoms.

 

[Poimandres]

You and the OP should start a club. She was already pretty upfront about her true feelings.

Eh, it's not always so clear cut. I guess I phrased it wrong... be friendly, and if she keeps being approachable/chatty you could make a friend out of it. If she has some other motivation it will become apparent eventually. Is that better?

 

[Blackace]

Well, I went in for the kill (but not succeeding of course) not just because she smiled at me, there was a whole lot more, as I've stated numerous times in this thread. It was just frustrating. I rather just ask her and get it over with. Nothing more.



Please respond to this. Would it be bad if I started doing this? Please let me know.

first of all.. should have went for a number or email address.. (so you can know when she is working or something) most likely guys ask her out a lot.. comes with the job..

Tipping less would be bad.. if she is hooking you up with stuff as a valued customer respect that..

 

[kehs]

She wants your tip, and she already gets a good tip.

 

[Rex Banner]

Please respond to this. Would it be bad if I started doing this? Please let me know.

Bad? You mean other than looking like you caught feelings over the rejection?

And were you just tipping her well only so that she would like you?

 

[Korey]

She's familiar with you guys (since you are regulars), thinks you're semi-cool, and likes to chill with you guys because it breaks up what is otherwise a monotonous day/job.

It's possible she's not looking for a boyfriend or tips, she's just being a regular person.

 

[Jackpot]

What the fuck? OMG! How did I not think about this? This can also be it.

Oh no.

Nothing you have mentioned has been directed to you specifically, just your group. And for someone who claims not be a creepy stalker and is over her, you sure have a lot of plans for her.

 

[SlipperySlope]

I had this same problem at Hooters. Women... *sigh

Welcome to Raisins!

 

[FortunateSon]

Funny that many people are echoing the "she just wants tips" sentiment when things like buying him/his friends drinks and hanging out outside of work hours pretty much fly in the face of that theory.

Anyway, maybe she's just friendly/flirty by nature. Maybe she likes you/one of your friends but does have a boyfriend. Maybe she thinks you guys are cool and wants friends.

Don't read into her motivations. Just keep being friendly, and see if she reveals her true colours.

Eh. About the whole, me wanting to date her; that's over and done with. I've already asked her out and she fired down on me with bullets. But what I want to know is if there can be any sort of friendship salvaged out of this?

"Are you always this friendly with customers or just me/us?"

Honestly, I should ask that. Risky though.

You should have invited her to hangout with your group some place away from where she works, just as a friend though. You messed up by just asking her out.

Good point all around. All my friends were saying the same thing, instead of directly asking her out. Ask her out to hangout with my group somewhere else... But like you said, I fucked up by asking her out personally.

The fact that you're a regular explains everything you're wondering about.

What does this even mean?

 

[OpinionatedCyborg]

you a troll or are you really this oblivious?

she's letting you save face. don't make things weird.

print off that stupid list of yours, roll it up really tight, and use it to fuck yourself the next time you want to write up another one.

i dislike you.

 

[Poimandres]

Not true at all..

From working in clubs and bars every weekend for the last 8 years or so.. I can say waitress and bartenders give away drinks and chat it to maintain a link to their customers.. Not saying that if a girl or guy does that they are not interested in you.. but most times it is business. If a waitress of bartender gives drinks or some other perk like free snacks or whathaveyou they know they will have you for a customer as long as they work there.. and if you are a regular that is good for them...

I see your point... especially if there's tipping involved/some reward for having regulars.

 

[apana]

Eh. About the whole, me wanting to date her; that's over and done with. I've already asked her out and she fired down on me with bullets. But what I want to know is if there can be any sort of friendship salvaged out of this?

I thought you were still friendly with her, what is it about her you value so much that you need a deeper friendship? Unless you are just holding out hope it can work into something more.

 

[dojokun]

Funny that many people are echoing the "she just wants tips" sentiment when things like buying him/his friends drinks and hanging out outside of work hours pretty much fly in the face of that theory.

Anyway, maybe she's just friendly/flirty by nature. Maybe she likes you/one of your friends but does have a boyfriend. Maybe she thinks you guys are cool and wants friends.

Don't read into her motivations. Just keep being friendly, and see if she reveals her true colours.

"Buying" him drinks really means she is pouring him alcohol that belongs to the bar, and not charging him. She's not actually paying. These free drinks make him want to tip more, and thus she gets more tip while the bar is missing a shot of alcohol, which will never be noticed.

Hanging out outside of work hours makes him more likely to tip well the next time he comes back to the bar.

 

[Blackace]

I see your point... especially if there's tipping involved/some reward for having regulars.

just like me as a DJ... I have to hustle up regulars who like what I do.. it helps me do business if I throw a party myself or sell myself and my crew to other places.. sometimes I give out shots or something to people who come for me.

 

[CliqWriter]

Please respond to this. Would it be bad if I started doing this? Please let me know.

Yes, idiot. Don't let your personal life disturb business affairs. She works for tips as do I. I would be nice to you as well if you tipped well.

 

[dojokun]

Eh. About the whole, me wanting to date her; that's over and done with. I've already asked her out and she fired down on me with bullets. But what I want to know is if there can be any sort of friendship salvaged out of this?



Honestly, I should ask that. Risky though.



Good point all around. All my friends were saying the same thing, instead of directly asking her out. Ask her out to hangout with my group somewhere else... But like you said, I fucked up by asking her out personally.



What does this even mean?

If you're a regular and a good tipper, she knows you'll be back and that she wants to stay on your good side. Thus, the free drinks that she "bought" (which she didn't pay a penny for) which make you want to tip more. The flirtiness and friendliness is also geared at big tips she knows you're willing to give up. The hanging out after work hours is done with full knowlege that you'll be back and you'll be even more generous because you liked how she hung out after work.

 

[ssowinski]

She wants a good tip.

This.

 

[Poimandres]

"Buying" him drinks really means she is pouring him alcohol that belongs to the bar, and not charging him. She's not actually paying. These free drinks make him want to tip more, and thus she gets more tip while the bar is missing a shot of alcohol, which will never be noticed.

Hanging out outside of work hours makes him more likely to tip well the next time he comes back to the bar.

I used to pull similar stuff when I was wokring for Subway. People that I decided I liked for whatever reason I'd give them free drinks, cookies, bacon on their subs. Whatever.

I hung out with some randoms a few times after work/on my breaks. Mainly because I was bored, and they'd made a comment about music or something that made me think they were cool people.

But I hated my job, and it never even crossed my mind to "get more business". In fact, I wanted as few customers as possible.

The point is even though a person may have a motivation to drive a business, you can't just assume that's where they're coming from. Maybe I'm just an optimist with these things.