Yamato 5
Holy shit. The Wave Motion Gun can destroy fucking Pluto. And you want to run a stupid bombing run? That's not what you do. You call those bastards on Pluto, tell them to surrender the planet under threat of Holy Shit this Gun can Blow Up Pluto, and if they stay, you fucking blow up Pluto. This isn't a peace mission, Cap'n. These fuckers wrecked Earth. I don't give two shits if Minmay or Hikaru want to make peace/love to the Zentradi. You can fuck these bitches up. That WMG is obscene, dude. That's some fucking Gunbuster weaponry there.
Yamato drinking game: every time you see a female crew member who isn't ridiculously attractive take a shot. Game recommended for designated drivers only.
Oh hi I am an accountant and in perfect physical condition and also I am an ace pilot. Nothing about me strains credulity!