this is why couples need personal accounts in addition to their joint accounts. Get your paycheck deposited into your joint, and have a mutually agreed upon percent or dollar amount that you are allowed to move over into your personal account for your own use. When times are good, this could be upwards of 15-20% of your net. When times are tough, you could drop it to 5%, or even have a set dollar amount ($10/20/etc) per week. That way you can choose to spend your money how you like without putting your joint finances at risk.
Me and my wife have a joint account, personal accounts, and a few savings accounts, with money being distributed into each according to our current life situation.
We do the opposite of what you suggested; we have a joint account, we put in enough to cover expenses but no more, and anything else we make is our own business (reasonably). My salary is higher than hers, but she works in a commission based job so she can more easily boost her earnings than I can. I never get griefed about my gaming stuff, she never gets briefed about... I don't know, expensive-ass boots or whatever it is she buys.
Now, it helps that neither of us had any debt to speak of when we combined our finances, so there was never a need of one person to "support" the other. We also don't have any kids, and besides hobbies there's no extravagant household spending (cheap car with no payments, cheap insurance, no landline, separate cell phones, cheap internet, no cable, neither of us smoke, I'm a rare drinker while she's an average drinker, etc)