I haven't watched it because Im deluding myself to think I may actually play the game at some point.
I feel like I just need to go in a sound proof room and yell for a bit
I honestly hate myself. I hate that no matter how hard I work I feel like I am destined to fuck up. I hate that I am both so prideful and so ashamed of myself to ask for help from my friends and family. I have had issues with depression since I was 16 years old and I go through phases of it. What does put me in one of these phases is when I do fuck up. I have told others including my mother but I don't feel like they understand it.
I am not sure I will be able to pass one of my classes which is an important prereq. If I fail or drop the class that will set me back a term.
I come from a family of very intelligent people and I hate that I feel like the idiot of the group, the fuck up. I feel ashamed of the fact that I am not doing as well as I can. I hate that I can't look a lot of them in the eye when discussing school or plans for my future.
I am not looking for advice (although I won't say no to it), I just wish I could process my emotions and vocalize this to the people around me
It is cliched but you can't compare yourself to others. I'm the black sheep of my mother's side and I often feel the same as you do. Life is stressful enough, you shouldn't have to worry about impressing other people who would judge you. I know it is way easier said than done because I sure as hell have a tough time with it but it is true
That's shitty. I'm in a kind of similar situation with school in that I haven't been able to go for years so I'm nowhere near having a future. It's hard to be happy around your family when you feel like they're all looking down on you, but you just have to remember that they do love you no matter what.
Being the idiot of the family isn't the worst thing either, it just means you have to worry less about disappointing them. Don't bother with trying to live up to the expectations you think they have for you, do what you want for you and you alone.
I honestly hate myself. I hate that no matter how hard I work I feel like I am destined to fuck up. I hate that I am both so prideful and so ashamed of myself to ask for help from my friends and family. I have had issues with depression since I was 16 years old and I go through phases of it. What does put me in one of these phases is when I do fuck up. I have told others including my mother but I don't feel like they understand it.
I am not sure I will be able to pass one of my classes which is an important prereq. If I fail or drop the class that will set me back a term.
I come from a family of very intelligent people and I hate that I feel like the idiot of the group, the fuck up. I feel ashamed of the fact that I am not doing as well as I can. I hate that I can't look a lot of them in the eye when discussing school or plans for my future.
I am not looking for advice (although I won't say no to it), I just wish I could process my emotions and vocalize this to the people around me
I'm sorry to hear all that. Not that surprised, because you're certainly not alone in your pain and shame, but it really does feel terrible to hate yourself.
This is going to sound dumb, but... have you ever actually tried vocalizing it?
There are some very smart people in this world, but those smarts aren't always linked with observancy(I should know, I'm in that boat myself). They might not even know what you're going through, and if you try to communicate, you might be able to talk it out somehow.
What worked for me when I had my own depression going on is that I explained it in a note I left on my door one time. Not being there in the moment means that you don't have to maintain the courage to talk it through to the end, requiring instead just the conviction to leave it there. It sounds scary, and it is, but if you don't do anything, nothing will change either. You sound like you're well on the road to an inferiority complex, and that is far from a good endgame for you. But in the end, it's up to you what you do with your life. The route I suggested is only one of many you could take, but it certainly is easier than learning to love yourself with such a handicap as these family issues unresolved. And keep in mind, one's own intelligence does not always equal lofty expectations for others. Your parents are people too, people capable of sympathy and empathy. You would be far from the first person with low self-esteem they've seen in their lives. So don't be so hard on yourself. You aren't alone.
I just got here. What about your huge dick that everyone saw through your pants? Isn't that something to be proud of?
But seriously I know the feeling. I'm not good with advice or even articulating what I think most of the time but these guys already put it best. Don't think you have to impress anyone.
I haven't watched it because Im deluding myself to think I may actually play the game at some point.
I feel like I just need to go in a sound proof room and yell for a bit
Breaking he norm/daily grind usually makes me feel way better. I just got back from a 20 minute walk in the cold listening to Daft Punk. It works as my way to let off steam.
Nah, it want the OP and Forces and I want a mic like Rock Band, and I wanna just go III EEEE AHHH FORRRRRCESSSS AIIII EEEE AHHHH FOORRRRRCCCESSSS for like 12 minutes
Nah, it want the OP and Forces and I want a mic like Rock Band, and I wanna just go III EEEE AHHH FORRRRRCESSSS AIIII EEEE AHHHH FOORRRRRCCCESSSS for like 12 minutes
Just venting doesn't solve your problems. What does is sticking with it and not letting your problems get the best of you. Keep your head up and don't be afraid to talk with friends, family or us if things get to be too much. I'm just a PM away if you just need to vent privately.
Breaking he norm/daily grind usually makes me feel way better. I just got back from a 20 minute walk in the cold listening to Daft Punk. It works as my way to let off steam.
I use music as my outlet usually. The reason why I was drawn to metal in the first place was because of the pure aggression that it exudes. There is something primal about just taking the cork off and unleashing all your shit that appeals to me. It is a little late to do that at the moment though, going for a walk would be more considerate for everyone else in the house
Just venting doesn't solve your problems. What does is sticking with it and not letting your problems get the best of you. Keep your head up and don't be afraid to talk with friends, family or us if things get to be too much. I'm just a PM away if you just need to vent privately.
Haven't joined any groups but I have asked one of my teachers for help, well kinda I told him that I had no cash to afford a book that I needed to read so he gave me more time.
I fucking failed a course last semester, and that was in my major.
You'll probably be fine. I was at least.
As to the second question, I don't know what to tell you. Haven't really been there myself, but I know there's plenty of people who have. We're all your frienders here, and there are always people around you who would help if you asked them.
Don't look down on psychologists or psychiatrists either. I've dealt with them before, and they do some good shit if you let them.
These are both very good thoughts to have. Good luck, man.
And remember, you at least made it to college. There are plenty of others out there who had neither the brains nor the drive. You've gotta have one or the other to get as far as you have up til now
If your college does it, there's a specific date to drop a course without taking the F on your GPA. You may have a low credit hour issue then but normally you can afford to drop one course.
Also you can sometimes retake a course and overwrite the old grade if you fail, so you can just try again, but that just means you gotta do way better.
I dropped Statistics 205 like a bag of bricks because of all the shit they were throwing at me. Might take it during the summer without other courses so I can focus on it.
Talk to your teacher. If you just straight up ask "what will it take for me to pass this class?" They will help you in anyway they can. You just have to apply yourself and get a little shameless with it.
A letter could work, but you'd probably be better off just telling her face to face. I understand how hard that can be but trust me, your mother will love and support you no matter what and the fact that you don't feel comfortable enough to talk to her face might just hurt her. Have a heart to heart and things will probably go better than a letter.
Whatever you do you cannot give up, that is the right way to look at it. Any way in which you can express yourself and your feelings is a great start. If your school has a consular I would recommended talking to them if you can
If your college does it, there's a specific date to drop a course without taking the F on your GPA. You may have a low credit hour issue then but normally you can afford to drop one course.
Also you can sometimes retake a course and overwrite the old grade if you fail, so you can just try again, but that just means you gotta do way better.
I dropped Statistics 205 like a bag of bricks because of all the shit they were throwing at me. Might take it during the summer without other courses so I can focus on it.
I've been say here eating crackers while feeling really down. I think I ended up in a bad part of drunk and I think everyone hates me. I don't feel real enough for real gaf. I'm just a very in general paranoid person and think people dislike me very easy. So much so I just avoid people. I've made good friends at uni but now I don't even think they like me. Being slightly drunk sucks.
Also fucking worst of all, MH4U hasn't been dispatched yet.
Just saw Whiplash. It's my new favorite movie. A fantastic movie with amazing acting, amazing editing, an amazing story, and a simply orgasmic soundtrack. If you like Jazz or drumming even a little, you owe it to yourself to see this film. 10/10. Best movie I have ever seen. But this could be due to my huge bias for really well acted asshole characters and Jazz.
I've been say here eating crackers while feeling really down. I think I ended up in a bad part of drunk and I think everyone hates me. I don't feel real enough for real gaf. I'm just a very in general paranoid person and think people dislike me very easy. So much so I just avoid people. I've made good friends at uni but now I don't even think they like me. Being slightly drunk sucks.
Also fucking worst of all, MH4U hasn't been dispatched yet.