I don't wish the mailbag was still going, but I do wish UPS wasn't total shit. Since Pat sometimes reads this thread and it's too late for me to post it in the we're not creepy anymore thread, I would like to relate a trivia fact he might find amusing.
Somewhere, in a UPS warehouse in Montreal, there is a dildo in a Pringles can, loaded with a spring.
Let me go back to make this slightly less creepy. During the mailbag, Pat kept talking about getting dicks. I know other Frienders had dragon dildos well covered (and those are expensive), but he said he was waiting for a dick to literally shoot out of a package. I took this as a challenge.
So, I got a dildo. I got a Pringles can. I got some springs from the hardware store. I combined the three like I was playing Dark Cloud 2 and sealed the package with tape and a helpful tab to peel off the ring around the lid to ensure the dick would spring out properly. I then covered the can in paper and labeled it BEYOND: TWO SOULS SCRIPT.
And I sent it to the Zaibatsu. But since UPS is complete fucking garbage they never got it, couldn't drop it off at the address, and it's still sitting in a warehouse in Montreal somewhere. Along with some shitty Gamecube games and loose Bob and Enzo action figures. Aw.
Sigh... effort wasted, and I wanted to relate that story long after it happened.