-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Texas band teacher had oral sex with student in school supply closet
- Thread starter Black Republican
- Start date
- Status
So you wait until they are not your student, if you are the student you transfer to another course or professor if it is true love.
PhantomHound
Banned
Texas. Believe.
nailbombxx
Member
I would have let her blow me too.
I think there's something wrong with both, but yeah this is mostly a case of the woman being an idiot and thinking she'd get away with giving students blow jobs at school.
Freeman
Banned
Killing a lion or sucking a 18 years old dick, thought choices in Texas.
Texas. Believe.
Forceatowulf
G***n S**n*bi
It's a good law to have even if situations like these seem more benign than what the law is designed to prevent.
how did it affect you? why did it affect you?
Underrated.
Punchy4486
Banned
Jumping head first into meaningless sex with a much more experienced person, feeling used, feeling manipulated, feeling cheap. I thought less of myself as a person for what I did. What I did to my classmate, her daughter. How I had let myself, my friends, and family down. My whole school finding out, my brother finding out, her daughter finding out and the judging and awkwardness that came from that. Her threatening to have some guys beat the shit out of me for letting word slip.
Emotionally I felt empty, and the whole experience felt like what I'd imagine a prostitute motel situation would feel like. And for an 18 year old who had only slept with their first love, I wasn't ready for all of that. I didn't realize it at the time. But I wound up getting depressed, sleeping all day, being an A student and suddenly failing classes, I was a popular fit jock in high school and over the years started becoming a fat shut in that ignored his friends calls for years (and they kept calling for years which is a testament to them).
I know it seems lame or unrealistic, and it's hard to directly explain why, but it did damage me, and I was totally healthy before. Kind of a model high school citizen. If it could happen to me it could happen to anyone.
I blamed myself until my fiancé pointed out all the grooming she had done over the years, walking around with a towel, giving me notes and candy through her daughter, asking me to wait for her, extra long tight hugs, watching me in the musical because she heard id be shirtless. I was a kid and I brushed it off or ignored it as weird (as did my friends) while also liking the attention. I couldn't handle those advances. I didn't realize how fucked up it was.
We did it in a motel room. She drove 3 hours to my new college to do it and bought me two huge bottles of vodka that I chugged straight while she undressed me. I barely moved. I didn't contribute when she asked me how I wanted to do it. I sat there and spaced out as she did her thing, frozen. I remember everything she said cuz they still creep me out. My body was "scrumptious" as she rubbed my chest (which she asked me to shave bare). Wondering what she would say when she saw my mom at the grocery store as she licked me...
The reality can be way more fucked up than the fantasy.
Rebel Leader
THE POWER OF BUTTERSCOTCH BOTTOMS
How are you going to do that when you damage them emotionally?
No shit, oops. :/
Banana Aeon
Member
Punchy4486
Banned
Not trying to be a downer. I get how it can seem awesome from the outside. And for some, the reality probably is. But not every 18 year old can handle a mature adult abusing their position over them.
I get the fantasy sounds hot. It just didn't work out for me.
I get the fantasy sounds hot. It just didn't work out for me.
speculawyer
Member
I'm gonna have to say that is different than a 23 year old that is just 5 years older.
So every situation is different? Really? That surprises me.
Dusk Soldier
Member
I had a teacher that ended up having sex with a student. I think he might of been a bit older though, maybe 25 26 at the time. He didn't end up getting fired or arrested, he just got transfered to another school.
Sucks to live in Texas I guess.
Sucks to live in Texas I guess.
andthebeatgoeson
Junior Member
Thanks for sharing that. I get the vibe a lot of people in this thread are having a hard time empathizing with your situation.
Muppet of a Man
Member
Your statement above is dangerously close to religious logic. If you assert that a relationship between employee and employeer must be due to some leveraging of power on the employer's end and therefore is inappropriate, the burden of proof lies with you as the asserter to prove that there is a statistically significant cause and effect relationship (i.e., employers abuse their power to coerce their subordinates into these relationships a significant/unacceptable proportion of the time).
I don't believe that these types of relationships are any less common these days. I know of a handful in my office alone. From what I've personally witnessed, they just tend to fly under ther radar more. You can't stop human nature, and people will be attracted to who they are attracted to. I think the bigger issue is actually the subordinate leveraging the relationship as an advantage over their peers vis-à-vis preferential treatment from the employer (i.e., fraternizing).
That being said, I think the appropriate action to be taken in these sort of scenarios is to fire the abuser of power. I think arresting them and ruining the rest of their life is much too extreme, especially if the relationship in question is taking place between 2 consenting adults.
Muppet of a Man
Member
I don't think many people are excusing this. Many people are criticizing the rather extreme criminalization of a relationship taking place between 2 otherwise consenting adults. Firing seems to be the correct/appropriate course of action.
PuppetMaster
Member
If 18 and 23 is illegal, lock me up and throw away the key.
speculawyer
Member
Did she say "I'm going to fail you unless I get to blow you?"
HI. BILLY MAYS HERE
Banned
I disagree. Charges should definitely apply but maybe if you want to argue the amount as too large then fine.
She doesn't have to say anything. She is a teacher and her job is to educate these students. She should not be fooling around with them,
Can you explain how you reached this conclusion? I don't even see how the two are similar. The issue with religious beliefs is that they are unfalsifiable; I'm offering a fairly specific criterion for falsification of my claim. If you can show that relationships of this sort don't produce, for instance, a significantly higher incidence of depression or alcoholism, that would be a start.
We have plenty of evidence that student/teacher relationships generally cause a great deal of harm. Specifically asking about teachers/18 year olds? That's harder to find. The starting hypothesis should be that it does affect them (given that we know it seriously affects children and students generally), but I'm willing to believe it doesn't if you have evidence to the contrary.
Zoe
Member
Just because there is a law doesn't mean they have to prosecute.
On the flip side, if there is no law there's nothing that can be done about the offenders.
Do you think authority is only expressed verbally?
speculawyer
Member
It was not appropriate but don't claim an abuse of power without any evidence.
Muppet of a Man
Member
Why should charges apply? Why not just fire her, alleviating her from her role as teacher? The student is 18 and consenting. If the student went to another school, theoretically they could have been in a loving, legal relationship. There is a reason that people are pointing the finger at Texas here. It seems to be a radical hardline application of the law in this instance.
speculawyer
Member
I don't assume things with no evidence.
You'll almost never get any evidence. Almost all abuses of power are non-verbal; they're conveyed implicitly. Even if it was conveyed verbally, good luck proving it.
The issue here is that I don't believe he is consenting. I know he believes he is consenting, but I don't agree that he is. Similarly (but to an even greater degree), a 15 year old is not truly consenting even if they insist that they totally want to have sex with the adult.
This is an important part of the discussion here: lots of children (or students or anyone in a position of weakness) are convinced they know what they want and explicitly state that they wanted and enjoyed the sexual contact with someone who has power over them. It happens. Important to sexual conduct laws and regulations is that young people, students, workers, soldiers, etc. are not capable of making these decisions even if they say they can.
Yeah this. A $10k bail. That sounds like a felony, but I'll admit to not reading more into the story so maybe it's a misdemeanor. Assuming it is a felony, that's going to be with her the rest of her life preventing her from employment and there could be jail time. It's a bit extreme.
Obviously she should be fired and banned from teaching again, but I can't agree with the criminal charges.
This sounds way too absolute. A lower employee is never capable of wanting to have sex with their boss because of the positional difference? I don't think so.
/thread
Muppet of a Man
Member
That's what we are specifically pinpointing in this thread, though--a relationship between 2 adults, one that happens to be a teacher and one that happens to be a student. In our society, 18 means legal adult. You can't directly compare clearly illicit young-childhood sexual abuse (CSA) between teacher and student as referenced in the study you cited to a relationship between 2 consenting adult indiviuduals, irrespective of their power relationship. I'd say you are on firmer ground comparing it to the abuse of power as sometimes seen in Employer-Employee relationships or Officer-Soldier relationships. A better default position would be to not assume that there is any inherrent negative or positive outcomes between consenting adults in these scenarios (i.e., individuals 18 or older in committed sexual relationships where there is an existing power discrepency), even though in exceptional cases there may be.
I can agree with this; the actual penalty applied is far too harsh, especially considering - student/teacher relationship aside - it falls under the heading of 'two consenting adults'. However, I do believe the student/teacher and other power-related relationships should be enforced in some sense.
I think most worker/boss relationships come under internal company law, right? At least it's not prohibited in my jurisdiction... I think...?
As stated earlier, there probably are some employer/employee relationships that are fine. There are probably even some 14 year olds who are especially emotionally mature and can legitimately make healthy, realistic choices about their sexual desires. However, distinguishing between the "this is okay" ones and the "this is unhealthy" ones is nearly impossible. There is no feasible way to distinguish, and so all employer/employee romances are typically banned by most large companies (and most 14 year olds are prohibited from choosing to have sex with adults).
You simply cannot have sex with students if you work at a high school. The fact that they did it AT the school only makes it worse. Should criminal charges be pressed? Probably not. Should she be let go from her job? Absolutely. This is being excused because she is a female. if a 23 year old male teacher was banging some 18 year old student in the bathroom or on his desk, there'd be a huge problem with that.
You don't excuse matters like this simply for the precedent it sets. You sweep this under the rug and you essentially say it's acceptable for teachers to sleep with students.Once you open the door to something like that, it'll be very difficult to close it and it will end up causing a lot of problems. Would you send your daughter to a school where teachers are hitting on her and female students end up getting impregnated by their male teachers? Or send your students to a school where female teachers could start using their authority to garner sex from male students. Oh, you don't want to have sex? Well I'm going to give you a bad grade.
You don't excuse matters like this simply for the precedent it sets. You sweep this under the rug and you essentially say it's acceptable for teachers to sleep with students.Once you open the door to something like that, it'll be very difficult to close it and it will end up causing a lot of problems. Would you send your daughter to a school where teachers are hitting on her and female students end up getting impregnated by their male teachers? Or send your students to a school where female teachers could start using their authority to garner sex from male students. Oh, you don't want to have sex? Well I'm going to give you a bad grade.
- Status
Similar threads
- Locked