That was just about the most cruel and cynical example of queerbaiting for ratings I've ever seen in my 25 years of life. I feel retroactively stupid for ever defending this show or promoting it to other people; you were all right, the character writing is lazy and terrible and I hate it. I really do feel like I've been played, after all the hinting and teasing from the people who make this show that there might actually be hope for Clarke and Lexa when they knew this was gonna be the end result. This isn't even close to the first time this has happened - Lexa's death was literally a fucking carbon copy of Tara's in Buffy the Vampire Slayer 15 fucking years ago because lesbians are just really fucking good at walking into bullets intended for the lead character of the show immediately after they've reconciled with their lovers and finally had sex, I guess - but this time easily hurt the most because I really had some hope that for once they wouldn't go with the tired and horrible and painful trope of the gay girl dying because she had the temerity to love a woman. That's such a shitty cliche and they're hinting at it way too hard for it to ever really happen, right? They're going to maybe go with the revolutionary concept that for once the lesbian won't die and that two women can actually fall in love without everything turning to shit? They've already killed one of Clarke's love interests and they won't do it again as a cheap ploy for drama llama?
I don't really care that the show didn't kill her because she was gay, because that's always the excuse. (And, not coincidentally, it's always the same excuse used by shows like F/TWD for why they're always blithely killing off black men for no good goddamn reason. Hmmmmm.) I don't really care that the actress, bless her talented young heart, had an obligation to another show - beg borrow and steal, if you have to. Write her off into hiding forever somehow (they did literally this to Roan and Emerson just this season!) and have Clarke ride Bellamy's dick off into the sunset while trashing this beautiful love story you've made, I don't even care. I'm just so fucking tired of queer women being a brief sideshow, or being jokey wank material for straight dudes (hello there Chris Rock), or being written into unhappiness, or especially being violently shot to death because the writers were too lazy to come up with a better alternative. I'm tired of having to pray that Root and Shaw somehow miraculously survive season 5 of Person of Interest, because there's just so little else left to hope for in terms of representation. I'm tired of having Ryan Murphy and a small handful of children's shows being the best that gay and bi women can possibly hope for.
If you're straight, I'm sorry, but you probably don't get it and you probably never will. This rant is gonna mean nothing to you and you might feel tempted to heterosplain to me why it's "just a ship" regardless of being the most dynamic and layered romance between women that I can think of in probably my whole life of watching television (how fucking sad!), or why it was necessary to the plot for Lexa to nonsensically walk (into a room because she heard gunshots and worried for Clarke's safety!!!) into a stray bullet (grounders don't use guns until they do I guess, can't wait to see that retconned next week) fired at her because Clarke loved her and she loved Clarke (Titus' reasoning for firing the gun, literally. Love really is weakness, y'all, at least when you're a dead gay or her ever-suffering bisexual girlfriend). You've seen love between a man and a woman equated to strength a thousand million times over, to the point where it's kind of sickening and cliched in its own way. You don't have to go actively seeking out the 1% of media that represents you only to find that the message is: your love is tragedy and it leads to death and misery. You didn't grow up watching show after show hammer this message into your head, only to finally think you found the one that would be different and to have it snatched away from you not five minutes after those characters were finally happy. It's not the same as Finn, yo. There are 82 million cute floppy haired white boys on television. There are exactly 0 young lesbian leaders of their society who are complex and flawed and powerful for gay teenage girls to look up to now, though. And I hope that was worth it all for a "neat" plot twist that could've been shown in umpteen other ways.
So, yeah, I'm a bit drunk and a lot angry, rant over; no one needs to respond to this post because I probably won't be back, I probably won't be able to bear the thought of ever watching this show again, and I'm certainly not going to be able to contribute anything but negativity about it anymore. I guess you can PM me if you really feel the need. The sad thing is, the episode was, overall, really well done (thank fuck for the lack of tiring Arkadia garbage) and I loved finally getting to see Erica Cerra show her acting chops in a small but moving performance as Becca, so different from ALIE - someday she's going to be a lead actress and I am going to watch the shit out of whatever show that is. But with this, I'm so goddamn done. I've watched probably hundreds of television shows in my sad and sorry little half gay life and I've never turned around on one faster than in those last few minutes.