blame space
Banned
tell me i've been bad
blame space said:tell me i've been bad
CHEEZMO said:Question time!
1: Anyone here into blood play or cutting?
2: Ditto for puppyplay (not with the masks or anything like that, though).
CHEEZMO said:Nice timing Cad, was just about to send you the link, lol.
Going by the posts in this thread, it seems that the dom/sub ratio is off a little. Bunch o' subs in here.
We should do a count of both, lol.Incendiary said:Well I'm here to even out the ratio a bit.
Incendiary said:I'm not really big into the hardcore BDSM stuff, I'm more BDSM-lite. But I've learned I'm very dominant in the bedroom and like submissiveness in the bedroom. Outside the bedroom, not so much, as I'm a very relaxed and carefree person, so being dominant in a non sexual environment just doesn't come naturally to me.
Atlagev said:Same with me... Actually, outside of the bedroom, I am very laid-back, and usually defer to others at work. I don't think anyone would guess that I was dominant in the bedroom. For one, I tend to be attracted to girls who are very outspoken, independent, and strong willed. Yet, when it comes to the bedroom, it turns me one like crazy to have them be in the submissive role, probably *because* they're usually so outspoken. I love "taming the shrew," so to speak. >;-)
JambiBum said:@Cad, I never said he should do it without talking about it first. He said that they had already talked about it. I maybe should have said that they should have a more in depth conversation before he tries what I suggested though. Of course I know that you should talk things through with your partner before trying things. It doesn't matter what it is, but that is especially the case with play rape. What I described works in my relationships because we have already discussed boundaries and such. If we didn't lay out the guidelines beforehand then things can take a turn for the worse.
Amibguous Cad said:I think the important point here is that communication of a desire does not indicate consent to having that desire fulfilled. Your original post claimed that, "Since there has already been communication between you two she will know what's going on," but if all she had done is communicate the fact that she's had rape fantasies and consent to roughing up sex a little, that's far from a guarantee. "Surprise her" looks to me like going ahead with the situation without talking it over, and is in general terrible advice in a BDSM context; the only justification I can think for it is a previous agreement that the dom has permission to do whatever he or she wants, absent use of a safe word.
Sounds like a fucked up start, for sure. Glad you got some goodness out of it though.Amibguous Cad said:Got to head to a local BDSM event two weekends ago. It started out pretty poorly- the presenter for the demo claimed that he was going to show us how to spice up the presentation of our scene for others in the dungeon. As he later claimed in the presentation, his aim was more along the lines to draw the entire group into a single mindfuck scene, his goal generally being to get people to believe that he had hurt his sub a lot more than he actually had, to the point where they get concerned. Smashing a bottle that looks like a glass beer bottle but actually isn't, using fake blood, that kind of thing. On the whole, the presenter came across as an attention whore.
I was unamused. I don't go to parties like this to be nonconsenually involved in someone else' mindfuck scene, and being new to the group, I was concerned that this cavalier attitude toward consent would be carried through to the rest.
Thankfully, my fears were unfounded, and I really enjoyed hanging out with the other kinksters through the rest of the night. I got talk shop about Godel and Russell with a logic PhD, and met a bunch of other cool people. I noticed a rather good-looking 30-something woman eyeing me periodically while I was wandering throughout the party, and soon enough struck up a conversation. We were really into each other, had a lot in common, and right when I was about to ask her if she'd like to play, she was whisked away by a previously arranged play-partner. She was booked the rest of the night, unfortunately, but I got her contact information, and we'll be meeting for dinner and some play the next time I'm in town.
after that I mingled a bit more, then headed to the play area to watch some of the scenes in progress. There was a girl in full on kitty mode sitting near one of the couches that seemed to take a shine to me. Petting led to nibbling led to biting led to a full-on makeout session on the couch. I was surprised at how naturally I took the dominant position there; maybe I'm more of a switch than I thought.
It was rough in spots, but I had a great time, and I've got the fetlife accounts of a few cute girls, so I'll call it a success =)
Guy sounds like a tool.Amibguous Cad said:Got to head to a local BDSM event two weekends ago. It started out pretty poorly- the presenter for the demo claimed that he was going to show us how to spice up the presentation of our scene for others in the dungeon. As he later claimed in the presentation, his aim was more along the lines to draw the entire group into a single mindfuck scene, his goal generally being to get people to believe that he had hurt his sub a lot more than he actually had, to the point where they get concerned. Smashing a bottle that looks like a glass beer bottle but actually isn't, using fake blood, that kind of thing. On the whole, the presenter came across as an attention whore.
CHEEZMO said:There's a flag?
0_o
CHEEZMO said:yay~
Not into leather all that much.
violet wands
Just found out that there is a mixed bdsm club in Orlando. Anyone have any experience with a mixed orientation club?
I'm glad this was bumped, I don't think I have the courage to do it myself. Been talking to another gaffer about this lately, in particular about my earlier post in this thread. I'm still negative about the pain aspects but I'd never separated the letters in BDSM before, if that makes sense - it never occurred to me that it doesn't have to be all those things at once! So, yeah, as reluctant as I am to say it my interest has been rising in this subject by quite a lot.
Is it worth signing on to things like Fetlife and just observing if I'm still just BD curious? I'm not in the US and I've no idea how else to find anything local.
Just found out that there is a mixed bdsm club in Orlando. Anyone have any experience with a mixed orientation club?
She was radiant in her red latex catsuit, black leather corset, and vinyl boots. I was licking them 10 minutes after walking in the door.
She beckoned me from across the room, and I was happy to oblige. Kneeling at her feet gave way to cuddling on the couch, and I don't believe I've ever felt as safe in someone else's arms. We talked about where we were in our lives, who we are, what we care about. She was delicately probing into the state of my soul, I believe so that she would not run afoul of any triggers. I'm usually not the most reticient of people at the best of times, and to be sure there's something about being kneed in the balls 40 times that lowers one's defenses.
For those of you who don't know, I'm dealing with some bad shit right now; I've experienced multiple deaths in my family in a short time frame, dropped out of school, and am currently in a partial hospitalization program for depression. Everything came out. I had never felt more vulnerable in discussing these things, or more accepted, and it was a balm for my soul. I have had no shortage of people willing to empathize with me and help get me through this, but none who are not, for lack of a better term , unbiased from before I became the high-functioning wreck that I am right now. The suicidally depressed and rehabbers in group therapy are inclined to empathy for obvious reasons. I do not take the support of my friends and family for granted for one instant, but they may be doing it out respect for who I was. But to know that who I am right now, broken as I feel, is still worthy of love and protection means more than I can articulate.
In short, I was laid bare physically, emotionally, spiritually, psychologically. She put me through the wringer and ensured I came out on the other side better than I started.
She offered to take me under her protection (a BDSM sociological construct I'm not 100% familiar with; I think the gist is that they look out for you in a strictly platonic way and make sure you don't get into too much trouble), but that would require that we stop playing together, and neither of us are going to give that up. She will reason (correctly) that if it's not her, it'll be someone else in the community less scrupulous, and that the only way to play together and also protect me is through a collar.
Have you considered bein ga writer? There is a huge market for material like that (You would make it less personal of course.) In regards the stuation sorry to hear its been so rough for you, but am ecstatic you haqve found an aproriate person to give you what you need, and well.She was radiant in her red latex catsuit, black leather corset, and vinyl boots. I was licking them 10 minutes after walking in the door.
We had met at one party before, of course, and agreed to meet each other here, but even so I was surprised how quickly we clicked The chemistry was just right, from the get-go.
She didn't use a single toy tonight, other than the cuffs she used to restrain me to the st. andrew's cross. I never missed them. She did ten times more with her bare (well, latex-clad) body than I've seen any dom do with a mountain of aides d'amor.
I made sounds I didn't know I was capable of making; I was hurt in vulnerable places I didn't know were anywhere near that vulnerable. My pallete exploded with a dozen different sensations I didn't have names for, much less understanding of.
She has a wonderful sense of presence, a knowledge of how to use her body to create a sense of worshipfulness. I do not mean her body language and way of conveying herself, though she is also quite good at that. I mean the way she uses physical position to reinforce the power dynamic (her height helps with it, certainly). Tonight, at least, there was almost always bodily contact; not like the tops that stand at whip's length from their sub. I was constantly pinned by the force of her body as she used some other heretofore unknown feature of the human anatomy (hers and mine). Like bondage, but a million times better, being constrained primarily by the raw physical presence of a body you have no hope of overcoming.
It was revelatory. It's like when you have a thought on the tip of your mind for months or years at a time, haphazardly grasping at expressing it, before you find it thoroughly explored and beautifully expressed in someone else's writing. This was everything I was seeking, and not getting; everything I was trying to say I wanted, and hadn't the insight to formulate.
She adjourned to play with someone else, though by her own admission, it was at least partially a test to see how I'd deal with jealousy. I passed with flying colors, though it wasn't easy. I've dated a ton of poly people and not even had a flicker of the green eyed monster as I watched my partner being plowed in front of me, but for some reason, for her, it was different. It is, in any case, the price of admission, modest enough, and I will not deny that the pangs feed the masochism as much as anything else.
She beckoned me from across the room, and I was happy to oblige. Kneeling at her feet gave way to cuddling on the couch, and I don't believe I've ever felt as safe in someone else's arms. We talked about where we were in our lives, who we are, what we care about. She was delicately probing into the state of my soul, I believe so that she would not run afoul of any triggers. I'm usually not the most reticient of people at the best of times, and to be sure there's something about being kneed in the balls 40 times that lowers one's defenses.
For those of you who don't know, I'm dealing with some bad shit right now; I've experienced multiple deaths in my family in a short time frame, dropped out of school, and am currently in a partial hospitalization program for depression. Everything came out. I had never felt more vulnerable in discussing these things, or more accepted, and it was a balm for my soul. I have had no shortage of people willing to empathize with me and help get me through this, but none who are not, for lack of a better term , unbiased from before I became the high-functioning wreck that I am right now. The suicidally depressed and rehabbers in group therapy are inclined to empathy for obvious reasons. I do not take the support of my friends and family for granted for one instant, but they may be doing it out respect for who I was. But to know that who I am right now, broken as I feel, is still worthy of love and protection means more than I can articulate.
In short, I was laid bare physically, emotionally, spiritually, psychologically. She put me through the wringer and ensured I came out on the other side better than I started.
She took my hand and led me into the back room; I was happy to oblige. The play here was different, a little more sensual and slow, a lot more verbally abusive. I'm pretty sure it was because we didn't have a lot of time, as even the red-eye players were grabbing their coats; I could see in her eyes that she couldn't wait till the next time to jump my bones again, and would take the meagre time we had. I was concerned that we were imposing on our hosts' generosity, but to be honest I was not inclined to refuse her anything at that point. Or, to be honest, at this point, even as the endorphin-created subspace has subsided. It's 5 AM, and I imagine she's asleep right now, but if she called, I'd be over in my fuck me boots in a heartbeat.
She is cautious, but also feels the same emotional and physical connection that I do. She says now isn't the time in my life when I should be starting a new relationship; that this is a serious article of discussion one date in proves just how difficult preventing that might be. In any case, the play will continue, and if that's all it is, I'll probably be able to alchemize the frustration into the erotic, as I have before. But judging from how she was ordering me around toward the end of the party, I'd put even odds at wearing her collar before the month is out. She offered to take me under her protection (a BDSM sociological construct I'm not 100% familiar with; I think the gist is that they look out for you in a strictly platonic way and make sure you don't get into too much trouble), but that would require that we stop playing together, and neither of us are going to give that up. She will reason (correctly) that if it's not her, it'll be someone else in the community less scrupulous, and that the only way to play together and also protect me is through a collar.
I don't know if the cautiousness is warranted, but to be honest, at this point I don't care. Life is short, and opportunities like these are rare. If such a relationship is a colossal mistake, it will be a glorious one, the kind that all well-spent lives have.
Have you considered bein ga writer? There is a huge market for material like that (You would make it less personal of course.) In regards the stuation sorry to hear its been so rough for you, but am ecstatic you haqve found an aproriate person to give you what you need, and well.
Caution is needed when the physical outruns the cerebral. Take your time, you will explore each other and find new thiungs.
Cad is a fucking incredible writer, and I'm sure he knows it; to read his thoughts on politics would be pornographic in some bizzare intellectual way.
And it's a shame he's going through all those issuesI don't know him very well aside from some chats a while back, but I wish him the best.
(Also, Cad, situation sounds pretty awesome :3! Hope it makes you happy man.)
Have you considered bein ga writer? There is a huge market for material like that (You would make it less personal of course.) In regards the stuation sorry to hear its been so rough for you, but am ecstatic you haqve found an aproriate person to give you what you need, and well.
Caution is needed when the physical outruns the cerebral. Take your time, you will explore each other and find new thiungs.
CHEEZMO™;35708305 said:Well that sure was an interesting bump >____>
Edit: 10,000th post \o/