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The Black Culture Thread |OT X| Thread's Up, Don't Lurk

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D

Discotheque

Banned
ReiGun said:
All of it really. To be honest, I've been in this way since a little before the holidays, on top of bouts of serious depression for the last three years. On top of feeling like I wasted five years of my life going to college only to find I have no interest in doing what I studied for anymore and now finding myself in a dead end retail gig. But that I could deal with if I didn't also fell like so impossibly alone. My personal relationships have been pretty much nil since graduation. Which on some level I understand - people are busy - but it's more than just not going out or whatever. It's like I feel as though I just stopped existing to people. I have no idea who I'd go to if I were in trouble or if I needed advice or just someone who understands. And the worst is I know it's partially my fault because I push people away out of fear.

But I think all that is just symptomatic of this larger sense of loneliness and hopelessness I feel. I've been dealing with depression since I was a child, and these past couple years it just been like "What am I fighting for?" What has all the struggle and pain been for if I still can't create the kind of life I want for myself? If I still walk around feeling like I have no place in the world, and am destined to fail in everything I attempt?

I lost faith in myself a long time ago, and now I guess I'm losing my faith in others. And after that, I don't really know what is supposed to keep me going. I just know I'm sick I'm feeling like this so often, and I'm sick of having to bare it just so I can continue an existence I know is less than what I'm capable of.

TL;DR: I'm at a lost for what to do with my life and my depression has worsened over the last three years because of it. Basically feeling like I'm at the end of my rope here.
Click to expand...

when it comes to the job front you may just have to go forward with that career choice until another opportunity presents itself or maybe you decide to go into another program.

the sad fact is not everybody gets their 'dream' job or even knows what it is. it's a fact of life though and disillusionment with a career choice is a common thing. which is why hobbies and what you do outside of work are often a welcome escape from that.

as for your social relationships you're definitely gonna have to work this stuff out in therapy brah. it sounds pretty deep-seeded and will need to be professionally helped. don't give up completely though, like you said earlier you had a pretty good time with your family so there's always hope. and with time when you hopefully work on your social problems maybe then you can find people in similar interest groups and cultivate some friendships.

bless up.

p.s. it's obviously not that simple but this is the best you're gonna get from a dude with this avatar and this tag.
 
N

Nakazato

Member
Where the white womenz at

Or aka


I wish devo would comeback we need her to break the cycle

Porn, anime, throwing shade at JC back to porn chicken, vine comps porn ,more shade
 
D

DominoKid

Member
ReiGun said:
All of it really. To be honest, I've been in this way since a little before the holidays, on top of bouts of serious depression for the last three years. On top of feeling like I wasted five years of my life going to college only to find I have no interest in doing what I studied for anymore and now finding myself in a dead end retail gig. But that I could deal with if I didn't also fell like so impossibly alone. My personal relationships have been pretty much nil since graduation. Which on some level I understand - people are busy - but it's more than just not going out or whatever. It's like I feel as though I just stopped existing to people. I have no idea who I'd go to if I were in trouble or if I needed advice or just someone who understands. And the worst is I know it's partially my fault because I push people away out of fear.

But I think all that is just symptomatic of this larger sense of loneliness and hopelessness I feel. I've been dealing with depression since I was a child, and these past couple years it just been like "What am I fighting for?" What has all the struggle and pain been for if I still can't create the kind of life I want for myself? If I still walk around feeling like I have no place in the world, and am destined to fail in everything I attempt?

I lost faith in myself a long time ago, and now I guess I'm losing my faith in others. And after that, I don't really know what is supposed to keep me going. I just know I'm sick I'm feeling like this so often, and I'm sick of having to bare it just so I can continue an existence I know is less than what I'm capable of.

TL;DR: I'm at a lost for what to do with my life and my depression has worsened over the last three years because of it. Basically feeling like I'm at the end of my rope here.
Click to expand...

Not for nothing but communication works both ways. You should reach out to some school friends and see if you can visit for the weekend. Or hang out with some coworkers. Make the best out of the situation. You wont be in retail forever.
 
M

MHWilliams

Member
ReiGun said:
All of it really. To be honest, I've been in this way since a little before the holidays, on top of bouts of serious depression for the last three years. On top of feeling like I wasted five years of my life going to college only to find I have no interest in doing what I studied for anymore and now finding myself in a dead end retail gig. But that I could deal with if I didn't also fell like so impossibly alone. My personal relationships have been pretty much nil since graduation. Which on some level I understand - people are busy - but it's more than just not going out or whatever. It's like I feel as though I just stopped existing to people. I have no idea who I'd go to if I were in trouble or if I needed advice or just someone who understands. And the worst is I know it's partially my fault because I push people away out of fear.

But I think all that is just symptomatic of this larger sense of loneliness and hopelessness I feel. I've been dealing with depression since I was a child, and these past couple years it just been like "What am I fighting for?" What has all the struggle and pain been for if I still can't create the kind of life I want for myself? If I still walk around feeling like I have no place in the world, and am destined to fail in everything I attempt?

I lost faith in myself a long time ago, and now I guess I'm losing my faith in others. And after that, I don't really know what is supposed to keep me going. I just know I'm sick I'm feeling like this so often, and I'm sick of having to bare it just so I can continue an existence I know is less than what I'm capable of.

TL;DR: I'm at a lost for what to do with my life and my depression has worsened over the last three years because of it. Basically feeling like I'm at the end of my rope here.
Click to expand...

One thing people need to realize is that pipedream our parents fed us about having one job all your life is bullshit. Company loyalty isn't all that, and most people don't want to do the same thing for two decades.

In college, I started on a Mechanical Engineering program, jumping around a few times until I went into English. I left school as a waiter, became a bartender, then worked as a technical writer for the government, and then was a glorified secretary for an IT consulting company. Now I'm a games journalist. I enjoy it, but is this the end? Probably not. The shifting waters of journalism and our industry means I'll probably pick up a ton of skills and eventually have to move onto something else.

The one career thing wasn't even true for the generation ahead of us. I know a guy who decided to become a lawyer when he was 55. Julia Child didn't start cooking until 36. Ken Jeong - who comes across as an idiot in movies - is a fully licensed doctor, who practiced for several years. Gabe Newell dropped out of Harvard and worked for Microsoft for 13 goddamn years before he started making games. The Zagat people were lawyers for 20 years.

You will probably change jobs. It will happen. What you got your degree in is boring? If it pays well, do that. Do whatever can keep you living comfortably in a 9-5. And then in that window outside of the 9-5, figure out what else you want to do.

I can't help you with depression, Rei. That requires reaching out for help or already having a solid support system. But I can you that a lot of people are lost about what to do in life and at stuck in dead end jobs due to other reasons outside of their control.

Are you relatively healthy? No significant other. No kids? Man, you're not lost. You're free. Just get yourself comfortable and then figure out where you want to go. (the latter part may take years.)

DreamyDrop said:
Oregairu is one of the all time greatest anime. Hatchiman is da best.
Click to expand...

Truth.
 
E

EscoBlades

Ubisoft Marketing
Nakazato said:
Where the white womenz at

Or aka


I wish devo would comeback we need her to break the cycle

Porn, anime, throwing shade at JC back to porn chicken, vine comps porn ,more shade
Click to expand...

+ Jane Dro
enhanced-14926-1423242026-26.jpg
Click to expand...
 
J

jWILL253

Banned
HUELEN10 said:
Not gonna lie, I'm pale as fuck and use "nigga" all the time IRL when appropriate. Mostly stuff like "shit nigga, what are you doing", or "this nigga". It's not used in racist context, so none of my friends mind or care, and that goes for all of us, not just me; even some of my friends who are black say it and don't mind me when I say it either because it is all about the context.

Personally, I think the tweet itself is dumb and racially insentive towards blacks and whites though. It almost makes it sound like she is saying that she is the end-all answer to how an entire group of people feel about the word and it also kinda downplays the importance of the context. George Carlin had a great sketch on the topic once, perhaps she should watch it before making claims like these. What is okay among the context of a social circle does not equate to an end-all with no context, specially with a term that can be seen as so close to another term.
Click to expand...

hmbiU8r.png
 
A

akira28

Member
tha's pretty crazy lifting 1000lbs and only weighing 200.

do that on the regular, and add in some gymnastics and martial arts, and you might have something.
 
I

Imm0rt4l

Member
Sub-Zero at a Starbucks said:
dudes out there will take loads of supplements to press a ton but won't supplement they homies by pressing until they take loads
Click to expand...

I don't understand it, there's no money in this shit. Hence muhfuckas selling ass for supps smh just so they can continue being broke but looking brolic/being strong.

akira28 said:
tha's pretty crazy lifting 1000lbs and only weighing 200.

do that on the regular, and add in some gymnastics and martial arts, and you might have something.
Click to expand...

1000 isn't impressive tbh, it's over 3 lifts. 1500 is considered elite iirc.
 
R

royalan

Member
Imm0rt4l said:
I don't understand it, there's no money in this shit. Hence muhfuckas selling ass for supps smh just so they can continue being broke but looking brolic/being strong.



1000 isn't impressive tbh, it's over 3 lifts. 1500 is considered elite iirc.
Click to expand...

I know you're joking, but I've actually encountered dudes who sell dick/bussy just to fund their gym habits.
 
I

Imm0rt4l

Member
royalan said:
I know you're joking, but I've actually encountered dudes who sell dick/bussy just to fund their gym habits.
Click to expand...

Nah, I was being serious, gay4pay is real, and ladies selling pussy for the same reasons. Kali Muscle who's pretty famous now used to go by the name chuck basher. And I'm pretty sure you can find videos of the uncrowned mr. olympia Kai Greene, fucking a grape fruit. This doesn't take into account everybody who's doing it and smart enough to not get recorded. serious.
 
R

ReiGun

Member
Discotheque said:
when it comes to the job front you may just have to go forward with that career choice until another opportunity presents itself or maybe you decide to go into another program.

the sad fact is not everybody gets their 'dream' job or even knows what it is. it's a fact of life though and disillusionment with a career choice is a common thing. which is why hobbies and what you do outside of work are often a welcome escape from that.

as for your social relationships you're definitely gonna have to work this stuff out in therapy brah. it sounds pretty deep-seeded and will need to be professionally helped. don't give up completely though, like you said earlier you had a pretty good time with your family so there's always hope. and with time when you hopefully work on your social problems maybe then you can find people in similar interest groups and cultivate some friendships.

bless up.

p.s. it's obviously not that simple but this is the best you're gonna get from a dude with this avatar and this tag.
Click to expand...
Yeah I'm not even really looking for a dream job. Just something to support myself. My feelings towards my job have more to do with just feeling like I wasted the last five years of my life in college.

And I am looking for a therapist now. Didn't much care for the last guy I saw and I had to work some things out with my insurance first.

DominoKid said:
Not for nothing but communication works both ways. You should reach out to some school friends and see if you can visit for the weekend. Or hang out with some coworkers. Make the best out of the situation. You wont be in retail forever.
Click to expand...
I know. I have reached out before and it's cool when it happens. Then it's like "Well, Rei, guess we'll see you again the next time you decide to call us." Like there's very little reciprocation. Which, again, I guess I can chock up to people being busy. But it hardly helps improve my mood or change the aching feeling that people just forgot about me. The one person I did have barely talks to me anymore so I guess she just got tired of my shit. Which is understandable.

And yeah I probably won't be stuck in retail forever. I don't even entirely hate my job. It pays decent enough for what little I actually do, there's very little actual work involved, and it affords me enough time to pursue other interests. It's more the feeling that I just wasted all this time and money in school for nothing that adds on to all the other shit I'm dealing with.

MHWilliams said:
One thing people need to realize is that pipedream our parents fed us about having one job all your life is bullshit. Company loyalty isn't all that, and most people don't want to do the same thing for two decades.

In college, I started on a Mechanical Engineering program, jumping around a few times until I went into English. I left school as a waiter, became a bartender, then worked as a technical writer for the government, and then was a glorified secretary for an IT consulting company. Now I'm a games journalist. I enjoy it, but is this the end? Probably not. The shifting waters of journalism and our industry means I'll probably pick up a ton of skills and eventually have to move onto something else.

The one career thing wasn't even true for the generation ahead of us. I know a guy who decided to become a lawyer when he was 55. Julia Child didn't start cooking until 36. Ken Jeong - who comes across as an idiot in movies - is a fully licensed doctor, who practiced for several years. Gabe Newell dropped out of Harvard and worked for Microsoft for 13 goddamn years before he started making games. The Zagat people were lawyers for 20 years.

You will probably change jobs. It will happen. What you got your degree in is boring? If it pays well, do that. Do whatever can keep you living comfortably in a 9-5. And then in that window outside of the 9-5, figure out what else you want to do.

I can't help you with depression, Rei. That requires reaching out for help or already having a solid support system. But I can you that a lot of people are lost about what to do in life and at stuck in dead end jobs due to other reasons outside of their control.

Are you relatively healthy? No significant other. No kids? Man, you're not lost. You're free. Just get yourself comfortable and then figure out where you want to go. (the latter part may take years.)
Click to expand...

Good points. Thanks you guys.

Honestly, this all comes down to needing to learn to better manage my depression. And I realized recently I can't really do that alone anymore, which is what brought me to here now because I've felt utterly alone for the past three years. I'm going to try to see someone professionally and stress less over my job. As for socially, I honestly don't know. I feel like I need a change of scenery and a new circle. No idea how I'm going to find that, but I'll figure something out.
 
S

Slayven

Member
ReiGun said:
Yeah I'm not even really looking for a dream job. Just something to support myself. My feelings towards my job have more to do with just feeling like I wasted the last five years of my life in college.

And I am looking for a therapist now. Didn't much care for the last guy I saw and I had to work some things out with my insurance first.


I know. I have reached out before and it's cool when it happens. Then it's like "Well, Rei, guess we'll see you again the next time you decide to call us." Like there's very little reciprocation. Which, again, I guess I can chock up to people being busy. But it hardly helps improve my mood or change the aching feeling that people just forgot about me. The one person I did have barely talks to me anymore so I guess she just got tired of my shit. Which is understandable.

And yeah I probably won't be stuck in retail forever. I don't even entirely hate my job. It pays decent enough for what little I actually do, there's very little actual work involved, and it affords me enough time to pursue other interests. It's more the feeling that I just wasted all this time and money in school for nothing that adds on to all the other shit I'm dealing with.



Good points. Thanks you guys.

Honestly, this all comes down to needing to learn to better manage my depression. And I realized recently I can't really do that alone anymore, which is what brought me to here now because I've felt utterly alone for the past three years. I'm going to try to see someone professionally and stress less over my job. As for socially, I honestly don't know. I feel like I need a change of scenery and a new circle. No idea how I'm going to find that, but I'll figure something out.
Click to expand...
Good, not enough people do that .
 
R

ReiGun

Member
Nothing will ever top the post Goku vs Superman meltdown. Nerds are still tight about that shit.

Htown said:
what can Gaara even do? Like, what are his powers?
Click to expand...

He controls sand really really good. That's about it. And he can turn into a giant sand badger.
 
R

RedSwirl

Junior Member
Discotheque said:
when it comes to the job front you may just have to go forward with that career choice until another opportunity presents itself or maybe you decide to go into another program.

the sad fact is not everybody gets their 'dream' job or even knows what it is. it's a fact of life though and disillusionment with a career choice is a common thing. which is why hobbies and what you do outside of work are often a welcome escape from that.

as for your social relationships you're definitely gonna have to work this stuff out in therapy brah. it sounds pretty deep-seeded and will need to be professionally helped. don't give up completely though, like you said earlier you had a pretty good time with your family so there's always hope. and with time when you hopefully work on your social problems maybe then you can find people in similar interest groups and cultivate some friendships.

bless up.

p.s. it's obviously not that simple but this is the best you're gonna get from a dude with this avatar and this tag.
Click to expand...

I guess I've been going through something similar since graduation, but definitely not as severe. Mostly though it's just the no jobs/underemployment dilemma that's going around these days. I can't even get that dead-end retail job right now though, nevermind my "career path."

That's caused me to feel like I have basically no reason to go out and form personal relationships to begin with. I know very few people out here. I have family, but that's almost it.

I feel like all I can really do is keep trying until the "break" happens, and basically everything I've seen so far tells me it happens pretty much at random. I'm just getting pretty impatient here because I'm quickly approaching 30 and basically haven't done anything since graduation.
 
N

neojubei

Will drop pants for Sony.
Shy said:
nice. where have you gotten to, if you don't mind me asking. ?
Click to expand...

i have no idea. I had to escape a dungeon jump on a boat and defend myself from some elves with bows. I also bought some games on steam that i need to play like Tomb Raider GOTY edition, Never Alone, murder soul suspect, transistor, life is strange, etc.
 
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